Wake up, girl!

by Niharika Jindal

  ‘Sorry. This place is amazing,’ I said.

  ‘You’re amazing,’ he said.

  I couldn’t help blushing, ‘Thank you.’

  ‘Do you always blush when people compliment you?’

  ‘Yes. Mostly. I’m not used to hearing them so often, you see,’ I joked.

  ‘Okay, here’s one more. You look gorgeous in the candlelight, Naina.’

  I turned red again. If only he knew that I’d been thinking the same about him.

  My phone pinged.

  It was my siblings’ WhatsApp group.

  Avishi: What’s up, guys?

  Me: On a date. Talk to you later.

  Yohaan: Nice. Don’t do something I wouldn’t approve of.

  Me: Ha ha.

  ‘Sorry. That was my sis and brother. We try to trouble each other as often as possible,’ I informed Shiven.

  ‘You’re really close to them, aren’t you? Your face lit up while texting right now.’

  ‘Oh, I can’t do without Avishi and Yohaan. We don’t need anyone else if we’re together. We’re like our own little gang!’ I exclaimed.

  ‘That’s amazing. To have siblings, I mean. Sometimes, I wish I wasn’t an only child,’ Shiven said wistfully.

  My heart melted.

  Shiven looked like a little lost boy, unlike his cool and suave self. I had seen flashes of this vulnerability last night too, when he had talked about his parents.

  ‘Here you go.’ Our server was back with our starters and Shiven’s beer.

  My burrata was amazing. ‘Mmmmm. The cheese is so fluffy.’

  Shiven laughed, ‘I’m glad you like it. Have a bite of mine.’

  He fed me a bite of his prawn dish. It was even more incredible than my cheese starter.

  ‘Wow. I love it.’

  The burrata seemed quite bland now.

  ‘Chosen the wrong dish, haven’t you?’ Shiven grinned.

  He must have caught me staring at his food.

  Naina, are you retarded?

  ‘Huh? No! Okay, yes,’ I admitted sheepishly. ‘The prawns are delicious.’

  ‘Here you go. You can feed me bites of prawns whenever I want some,’ Shiven winked and kept his plate in front of me.

  ‘Shiven, no! You don’t need to do that!’ I exclaimed.

  ‘Relax, Naina. This way, I can enjoy you filling my appetite,’ Shiven smiled brazenly.

  I blushed a deep crimson. He really had a way with words.

  What just happened, Naina?

  I shook my head. Sorry, inner voice. I know I embarrass us sometimes.

  Since he was so insistent, I decided to tuck in and enjoy my meal.

  My phone buzzed again. I had an incoming email.

  My face froze.

  It must be the review committee decision regarding today.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ Shiven asked in a concerned voice.

  ‘Umm, nothing. I’m afraid to open an email which, I think, might be regarding my future at Citibank.’

  Shiven put his hand over mine. ‘Open it. I’m right here with you.’

  Okay, then.

  I opened the email, and a smile broke out on my face. ‘I haven’t lost my job! The head of the committee has written herself, saying that they loved the fact that I had accepted my shortcomings. According to her, not a lot of people acknowledge their mistakes.’

  Shiven exclaimed, ‘Told you it would be fine!’

  I continued, ‘She goes on to say that when she joined Citibank, her presentation skills were dismal to say the least. So, I’m off the hook, for now.’

  I looked at Shiven. I got up and kissed him on the cheek.

  ‘Thank you,’ I said sincerely. ‘You’re partly to thank for the speech I gave them today. You helped build up my courage.’

  ‘Wait. Come back,’ Shiven whispered.

  I leaned forward again and he kissed me slowly. This time on the lips. The kiss was so sweet and gentle that I was flushed by the time I sat back down.

  ‘I was just reminding you of your talents, Naina. Don’t let small issues like this one scare you,’ Shiven said. He seemed unfazed by that rattling kiss.

  I smiled, willing my flushed cheeks to unpink themselves. ‘You’re right.’

  There was a ping, and I realized it was Shiven’s phone.

  ‘Just a second.’

  He checked his message and said, ‘Sorry, that was work. Some ongoing issue that we’re having.’

  ‘Do you enjoy it? Being a banker, I mean?’ I asked him.

  ‘I do enjoy it, yes. Initially, I was attracted to the pay package. But, now I truly enjoy my job. Besides, it’s only me that I have to look after, so I’m not that concerned abut money any longer,’ Shiven explained.

  I nodded, ‘That’s great.’

  I loved the fact that he was doing something he truly enjoyed.

  I changed the subject. ‘Hey, hope you’re not bored. Wouldn’t you rather be at a bar or something?’

  ‘Not at all, Naina! I’m enjoying being with you tremendously.. I can’t get enough of you,’ Shiven shook his head. ‘Tell me more about yourself. Did you have a boyfriend back home before the Delhi incident?’

  ‘Well, I did date someone in college. But it didn’t work out. I was too immature,’ I said.

  I completely blamed myself for my break-up with Ayaan.

  ‘I’m sure there was more to it. You just like berating yourself for no reason,’ Shiven said in my defence.

  He was so sweet. Coming to my rescue like that.

  ‘What about you? How many relationships have you had?’ I asked him.

  ‘Well, to be honest, none.’

  ‘What? I don’t believe you,’ I said incredulously.

  Just then our server came back to the table for the main course order.

  ‘I’ll have the truffle pasta with mushrooms,’ I said quickly.

  I was in a hurry to find out more about Shiven’s lack of relationships.

  ‘I’ll have the wood-fired pizza with black truffle, and soft cheeses, please,’ Shiven ordered. ‘I know you’re fond of truffles.’

  I think I’d mentioned my fondness for truffles at some point last night.

  ‘Wait. How have you not had any relationships?’ I couldn’t make sense of what he’d said.

  ‘Well, sure, there have been girls. But, I’ve never got close to someone beyond a point. Or rather, let someone get too close to me,’ Shiven said. ‘So, yes, no relationships.’

  Interesting.

  ‘Okay.’ I decided not to probe any further.

  ‘Wait, there’s something on your face, Naina.’

  My hand went up to my face to clear off whatever it was, but Shiven flicked my hand away. ‘Allow me.’

  He came across the table and slowly bent his head towards mine. His tongue flicked out, and licked the corner of my mouth.

  It slowly inched its way to my mouth, and slipped in.

  I moaned softly. This was even more arousing than sex.

  ‘There. All good,’ Shiven said.

  What? What was he referring to?

  Oh, yes. Had there even been something on my face in the first place?

  ‘So, how are Michael and John doing? I really liked them. They are hilarious,’ Shiven said.

  He was obviously not bothered by our kiss at all.

  He’s an expert, Naina. He probably kisses a different woman every day!

  I focused back. ‘They’re fine. They are in awe of you.’

  My phone pinged again.

  I was seriously popular tonight.

  It was a message from Mom this time around:

  It’s supposed to rain heavily tomorrow as well. Stay indoors!

  I rolled my eyes.

  ‘Who was that?’ Shiven asked.

  ‘It’s Mom. Giving me the latest London weather update, and informing me of rain patterns.’

  Shiven smiled, ‘You’re extremely lucky, Naina. I hope you know that.’

  I smiled back at him.


  In that moment, having dinner with Shiven, I did feel extremely lucky.

  Chapter 30

  One month later

  ‘I don’t know, Sunaina. It seems to be going well. Now, what “it” actually is, I don’t know. We haven’t said anything to each other about “it”,’ I said.

  I was on the phone with Sunaina. We spoke every once in a while and caught up on the latest happenings in each other’s lives.

  ‘Is he on Facebook? I want to stalk his profile,’ Sunaina said.

  ‘Sure. Shiven Mehta.’

  ‘Oooh. Gujarati. Had any theplas yet, Naina?’

  ‘Ha ha. No. But, I do love theplas.’

  Shiven and I met almost every single day since our dinner at Novikov, and he’d been the perfect gentleman.

  When I caught the flu and was down for a couple of days, Shiven, despite my protests, had nursed me back to health.

  He had told me to just shut up when I had spurned his help, protesting that I could take care of myself.

  So, I did. Shut up, I mean.

  He had dropped in before and after work and cooked for me.

  That’s right.

  The guy could cook like a dream.

  Had we slept together yet?

  No, we hadn’t.

  Did I want to go ahead with him?

  Yes, I did.

  But what ahead meant, I didn’t know.

  Besides, I had no clue where his headspace was.

  ‘He’s so hot, Naina! Nicely done!’ Sunaina exclaimed.

  I giggled, ‘He is, isn’t he? Okay, Sunaina, I got to go now. I see Michael and John approaching and they don’t know that I’ve been spending time with Shiven. So, talk to you later.’

  I hung up. Michael and John were almost at my cubicle.

  Ever since that night at the Mandarin bar, the two had been inseparable. Michael and John were somewhat in a relationship. It made me smile just looking at them. I don’t think I’d ever seen Michael this happy.

  I still hadn’t told them that I’d been spending time with Shiven, because I knew they would make a big deal about it. I really liked the way things were going, and didn’t want to mess them up.

  ‘Naina! Hello, sweetie!’ John air-kissed me on the cheeks.

  ‘What’s the plan for tonight, Naina?’ Michael asked me.

  ‘Ooh. We should go to the Mandarin bar again, and maybe spot the hottie once more. The one you passed up on,’ John wiggled his eyebrows at me.

  ‘Nah, I don’t think that will happen now. Apparently, he’s off the market, as per my sources,’ Michael informed.

  My ears perked up. Shiven was off the market?

  ‘He’s been seeing some girl. That’s what I’ve heard, at least,’ Michael explained. ‘Sorry, Naina. You passed your chance.’

  ‘Who are these sources of yours?’ John inquired.

  ‘My friends at Goldman,’ Michael explained.

  The warm glow inside me was building up.

  ‘Say, Naina, what have you been up to for the past couple of weeks? We’ve hardly seen you!’ John said.

  ‘Nothing much, guys. I’m just trying to concentrate on work, especially after the last fiasco,’ I lied.

  Michael rolled his eyes. ‘Boring. Come on, John, let’s go.’

  My story was highly believable. No one would ever imagine that I was the girl that Shiven was allegedly seeing.

  Were we even seeing each other?

  My phone buzzed. It was a text from Shiven:

  Meet me at Sketch tonight after work? Can’t wait to kiss u.

  My stomach had butterflies now.

  Although, why hadn’t he done more than kiss me till now?

  I groaned. I really was in trouble. I needed to talk to him and figure out our situation.

  The hot distraction that I’d met at the Mandarin bar had worked his way in deep under my skin.

  This uncertainty, so typical of the initial stages of dating, was really killing me.

  …

  Sketch is this quirky, eighteenth century tearoom that transforms into a bar every evening. Its most distinctive feature is its restroom. The toilets are shaped like space pods. The one time that I’d been there, I’d felt extremely cool using the restroom.

  As I was getting off work late tonight, I would have to meet Shiven directly at the bar.

  Which meant that I would definitely not be dressed for a night out. O bother!

  Well, tonight, I had to focus on having a chat with Shiven about our ‘relationship status’.

  Sketch was incredibly loud and dark when I entered it. I looked around, but couldn’t see Shiven anywhere.

  Shit. My phone showed nil network coverage.

  Most of these bars and clubs had a really bad network because of the crowds.

  I walked around, trying to spot Shiven’s familiar figure, the sight of which still made my heartbeats go into a tailspin.

  But, no luck.

  Maybe he was near the restroom area. I needed to pee anyway.

  I shoved through the crowd, getting thoroughly jostled around in the process. Sketch was rocking tonight!

  Alcohol and a close cramped place with the multitudes trying to gyrate with one another was always a recipe for trouble.

  ‘Hey! Watch yourself!’ I shouted at a particularly excited young man trying to get too close to an unsuspecting woman.

  He merely flipped me the middle finger, and took off.

  So much for politeness.

  Where are you, Shiven?

  I reached the restroom and quickly went inside.

  Thank God, there was no queue to the loo.

  I came out and decided to head to the bar. Maybe, have a drink till I found Shiven.

  I checked my phone. Still no network.

  My eyes strayed to a couple near the front end of the crowd, waiting for their drinks presumably. The girl had her arms around the guy, and they seemed to be talking.

  ‘Ugh,’ I said to myself. Get on with it already.

  The girl shifted a bit, and my heart stopped.

  It was Shiven. With the woman’s arms around him.

  I turned around and marched towards the main entrance.

  I heard Shiven shout out my name from behind. He had seen me, obviously.

  ‘Naina! Naina, wait!’

  This felt all too sickeningly similar. A sense of déjà vu assailed me. Only this time, it was a girl, and not a boy, in the situation.

  I managed to exit Sketch and briskly walk out on to the street.

  I had no idea where I was going.

  I just needed to get away.

  Wow! Did I have a knack for attracting fucked-up situations to myself, or what?!

  ‘NAINA! HOLD ON!’ Shiven was getting closer to me.

  I increased my pace.

  ‘Naina! Just stop!’ Shiven grabbed my arm.

  I obeyed and turned towards him.

  The street was empty. No passersby and cars in sight. So we were in no danger. Yet, I could feel a hurt somewhere inside. I willed my tears not to spill and collected myself.

  Shiven reached me. He was out of breath and panting hard.

  ‘Naina, that was not what it looked like. Let me explain. Please.’

  I waited.

  ‘Go on,’ I said.

  Before he could say anything, I started talking, ‘Actually, Shiven, it’s okay. It’s not like we are dating exclusively.’ I gave a short laugh, ‘I mean, we never even defined that. So, there’s no reason for me to be upset.’

  Fuck, I could feel tears spring to my eyes.

  I blinked them away. ‘You’re free to do whatever you like.’

  To my shock, Shiven’s tone was angry rather than apologetic. ‘What do you mean I’m free to do whatever I like? What about what I really want to do?’

  Huh?

  ‘You-You were just…’

  ‘Naina. Had you been there just two minutes prior to when you came, you would have seen that nothing happened. Sure, she had her arms around me. But
, were we kissing? No, we weren’t. Did I have my arms around her as well? No, I didn’t. Why? Because I didn’t want to do anything with her,’ Shiven said.

  He’d stopped panting, I noticed. He looked as hot as always in his shirt and jeans.

  Focus, Naina. Don’t get distracted.

  ‘A month back, I would have definitely acted on it. I won’t deny it,’ Shiven said. ‘I would be guilty as fuck. But now, Naina, the situation has changed.’

  ‘When I saw you walk out of the bar…my heart stopped, Naina. It made me realize the depth of my feelings for you. And that scares the shit out of me. That girl was merely hitting on me, Naina. And I didn’t want to reciprocate. Not even for a microsecond. I was telling her that nothing could ever happen between us. It was definitely an unfortunate time for you to walk in on me but, I swear to God, Naina, that was it,’ Shiven said.

  His tone had softened.

  I was just staring at him. My throat had clogged up.

  He continued, ‘You’ve changed me, Naina. And I’m terrified because of it! This is entirely new territory for me! The past couple of years…all the random hook-ups and flings…I was used to that. That was normal for me. But, now, I realize that I was merely trying to fill my own loneliness by those meaningless encounters. You’ve made me want more, Naina. You must have wondered why I never made a move on you. That’s because I didn’t want us to go down the same road. I wanted it to mean more when it actually happened.’

  Shiven looked so baffled by his feelings that I wanted to smile. I was melting.

  When he saw me about to speak, he held a hand up. ‘Please. Please, let me finish. You know I lost my parents at a young age, right? So, ever since then, it was only my aunt’s family and I. I even left that behind when I went to college. I hardy stayed in touch with any of my cousins. I was so used to my own space. I liked it that way!’

  Shiven stared accusingly at me.

  ‘This is all your fault!’ He almost shouted at me.

  ‘What? How is it my fault?’ I exclaimed.

  ‘That I can’t seem to do without you, Naina! I can’t get you out of my system! When I’m alone in my apartment, I want to be with you. I constantly want to know what you’re up to. I wake up and the first thing I do is check my phone to see if you’ve called or messaged. Hell, I’ve never ever cooked for someone else before! And you make me want to cook you a feast every single night. I want to do things that will make you smile. Ever since I’ve realized how much you love Bollywood, I’ve been trying to learn how to play more Hindi songs on the guitar! You make me want to sing romantic Kishore Kumar songs to you. No, don’t smile. Let me finish. This is serious.’