Emotional Sandwiches

by Sarah Ashley Neal

  Path has recently had the time to listen to incredible stories of love, triumph and hardship. Each story packaged up in different ways, depending on the circumstances, as their followers all walked the distance which was never predicted nor measured. Path saw the waterfalls and couldn’t do anything about them because it wasn’t its place to predict those either, leaving it up to us to do that and avoid them when we can. Maybe our own path can, but doesn’t feed back that information in the way that we understand while we are busy planning our lives but not necessarily living out those plans. We become less aware of any connection that we once had as we choose to ignore our instincts and allow logic to undermine what may have been the truth, all along. It is possible to become less self-aware as we immerse ourselves in the battle to find more of what is absent in our lives before getting to know if what already exists is sufficient.

  Do we walk a destined path? Hence why it doesn’t have the ability, all on its own, to change the landscape without permission? If destiny is involved, then this may explain why Path indulges our tantrums and supports our dreams – because it has nothing to lose! Path tends to narrate rather than voice its opinion in case its direct approach stops you from taking an adventure. It will always be facing in one direction or another, turning around only to see if you are still strolling behind or if you have taken a detour. Then it would be down to fate, to read the signposts accurately and lure you back onto the right track, in the event that you went off at a tangent.

  The path that looks after your emotions is ageing all the time. It keeps on going (until it has to stop) and as such, tends to get tired the most, finding humour to be something that can take the edge off the bitterness that lingers once it has been bitten.

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  So, how can we wrap up the fillings together and, in summary, portray them in a helpful way with a respect they deserve that still awards them with a little latitude? After all, they all play a role in our lives. They just happened to have been characterised and unusually depicted in this arrangement to entertain but remain a bunch of words – thrown on the pages – all open to interpretation.

  As we have ventured from one filling to the next, you may have seen that some of the characters had the potential to move around and no doubt you will rearrange the sandwiches into different groups to suit your own relationship with each word. You will know who gets on better with whom in your own world and where those encounters lie. On reflection, I could have put the sandwiches on a buffet table from the start and you could have picked out your favourite ones. My only concern, if I had done that, is that some of them may have been left out, on purpose, all because you weren’t too happy with a previous encounter. But if you don’t happen to have any particular issue, with any of them, then you can look upon this entire journey as a milestone that tells me you are doing something right!

  Indulge my imagination one last time and picture a large and empty tortilla… Create your own wrap, layer up the fillings in desirable quantities and let the flavours speak for themselves. Then you can go about adjusting those amounts in order to get the balance right for you! They will wriggle around and look for an escape route when they know they’re going to be challenged, hiding behind each other or camouflaging themselves against the greenery to avoid being seen. Relish the thought that you may even want to heat things up and throw in a jalapeno to get them all engaged – this would be one heck of an icebreaker! Whichever way you choose to roll yours up, aim to keep the fillings under wrap long enough to create a sense of self-awareness and a connection to your thoughts and feelings about what these words mean – to you. Then you can explore them in whatever order you decide using logic and instinct.

  I’ve a couple of ideas which you may be interested in developing further, on your own, and I’ll share these with you in a moment. By now, I hope I will be known for using simple and subtle analogies which allow messages to filter through and gently wake you up. I didn’t see any point, in this book, concocting worst-case scenarios that may serve as a distraction instead of functioning as a platform from which to explore a word. You will have your own stories, some of which will be new while others may revisit you from the past and surface in order for you to learn from them, rather than be relived.

  So for better or for worse you could, pretty much, take any scenario in your own life and apply all twenty words, either in sequence or shuffled around to help you review a past or current situation. There is no hard or fast rule and their relevance or importance may alter depending upon the situation. Once you are able to better understand the relationship that you have with these words, you may be able to put a situation (or your entire life) into perspective and realise that in any given moment you may feel more drawn to one word than another. You begin to understand any importance behind this discovery and this may be a revelation for you or a simple reminder that your levels of self-awareness are on the up!

  I have looked at situations in my own life and (while it can take time) I have been able to talk myself through a situation using each word effectively, calling upon the Emotional Brigade to come to the rescue. It was interesting to see that one word would often appear more obvious, maybe because of the scenario I was exploring. It wasn’t unusual for another one to come forward and ask to be explored too because there was an association or a link being made that needed addressing. Sometimes there was a mutual dependency and sometimes one word would attract the other, just because it could; I’d notice double acts unfold in front of my eyes!

  I found myself giving them all a voice, using both logic and instinct to decide if any of them could be moderated to improve a situation or did I need to reduce or increase their presence to bring balance back into my life? We all have an opportunity to choose to improve the way we think, express ourselves or reflect.

  So, if I left you with another idea that we all have an Emotional Sandwich within our own vocabulary yearning to be explored and better understood, what would yours be? It wouldn’t surprise me at all to learn that you even have your own selection of words to explore. These will most likely be communicating with you on an entirely different wavelength, sending you messages that may well go unnoticed. Still, not every word in your selection is suffering from confusion or on the verge of having a breakdown. They may only be fighting to get your attention because of their capacity to understand and support those that need more attention in order to be understood!

  Well, have you thought of one yet? If you haven’t, then just choose an ES off the existing menu for the final illustration. It’s not unusual for one of your favourite words to suddenly lose its enthusiasm and misbehave in the future, instead, choosing to orchestrate your emotions to play ‘Chopsticks’ – as opposed to Beethoven’s calming ‘Für Elise’. Sounds can vibrate at different frequencies and confuse you at the best of times. Words, too, vibrate at different frequencies as they try to tell us something now that they didn’t say before and may never say again. The next time they speak to us, they may have forgotten what was said, even though they seemed so important at the time. Contexts change. Words don’t want to be stereotyped; although, it is useful to get to know the words that discolour your language and then your feelings may stand a chance of being understood.

  How can you get started?

  After great deliberation, I’ve decided just to include a few initial pointers in this book. Why? Because, I feel that some of you will find them interesting to consider, taking inspired action to unravel your next steps, while others will not wish to have their entertainment ambushed with a lengthy, unsolicited coaching exercise, and choose to skip the ending altogether. No, no, we can’t have that. So, let’s keep it light hearted and I will reserve the detail for another time.

  The folder

  Create a folder in your mind and call it M-E-S-S-A-G-E: My Emotional Sandwich Selection and Gorgeous Excuses. Then put your Emotional Sandwich into the folder and call it ‘MES-1’ or by name – make it personal.r />
  How to approach your Emotional Sandwich

  It’s time to run off a little diagnostic assessment. The idea is to cross-check your MES alongside both words in the course titles and determine if it fits into any theme before deciding whether to explore it further, or delete it altogether from the folder. For example, using the ES, Confidence, you would link it up with each word separately: Confidence/Balance; Confidence/Management; Confidence/Understanding; and then do the same with the others (Respect; Limitations; Acceptance; Learning; Development).

  Run it through an MOT (Message On Trial) test

  Now you’ve linked up your MES with the eight words, as shown above, it is time to do the cross-check. The idea is to spend a few minutes on each set and ask yourself (without over thinking): “What are my thoughts and feelings telling me as I allow these two words to resonate together?”; “Are there any underlying messages that are asking to be understood?” Decide if the feedback warrants your energy. And if it does, then schedule in some time to focus on your relationship with the word that is frequenting your path. In this book, I put Confidence in with ‘Balance and Management’ – you may want to put it in with ‘Respect’, already understanding it perfectly well, once it’s been on trial.

  What if nothing comes to mind immediately?

  No worries! Time and Patience will support you when you’re ready to engage with your senses. Now may not be the time. Eventually, they will open up to you – like a good friend. We are often more than capable of finding our own answers within. Sometimes, we can sense them coming to the surface relatively quickly. Other times, the answers lie in wait, beneath, taking forever to let us know that they’re there. As we close our eyes, screw up our face, grit our teeth and slowly inhale – nodding our head back and forth, just a fraction, hoping to shake the answers loose (while playing ‘air piano’) – it all begins to feel like hard work. Within can’t be that far away – can it? Go on, do that sequence and smile – because you know exactly what I mean!

  Equally, you could learn something about an ES in every theme – in which case a full service comes to mind. In fact, if you’re feeling brave and since discovered that you’ve more than one ES on your mind, then why not put your entire MESS (My Emotional Sandwich Selection) into the folder and brace yourself for an emotional cleanse! Scrub-a-dub-dub! And if ever there was a perfect time to add a caveat, which cannot be accused of drivel on this occasion, I ask you to cleanse safely. In other words: don’t climb a mountain alone, if walking with a group feels safer.

  Interestingly, our emotions can come to the surface along with the solutions out of the blue. But putting the situation on trial, instead, may be easier for you to do and is in keeping with my first analogy. Simply call in the Emotional Brigade; run the situation by each ES in this book to see if they have anything to do with how you could be feeling.

  All good? Great!

  Finally, consider something that may help you to take the seriousness out of the experience or put it back in when the experience replies unkindly. Here goes my conscious friend…

  Self-awareness is going on all the time. Becoming more self-aware may or may not be an effort for you. It can come easily and be satisfying to some of us; yet prove to be something quite alien to the rest despite the fact we are all an embodiment of knowledge and practise self-awareness to lesser or greater degrees. It belongs to each of us and communicates on so many levels. It is worth taking the time to listen to what it has to say and notice how any messages (which it has been itching to deliver) can make us feel – without getting too hung up on incidentals. Otherwise, you could be contemplating all day long and who has the time to do that? Cryptology has its place – just ask Confidence! It’s what we choose to do with the information we receive, using all of our senses, which may make all the difference to how we live our lives and interact with others that cross our path, regardless of who bumped into whom first.

  By the way, I think the alien visitor would certainly approve of the mnemonic: MESSAGE. I know ‘mnemonic’ is one of the more unusual words I’ve introduced so far, having made a conscious decision, from the outset, to leave the less popular ones in my vocabulary out of this book. Fraternising with a dictionary, every step of the way, would only distract me from writing from my heart and I wanted to ensure my underlying messages were within reach (and not too alien for the human mind). Why complicate it, I say?! Incidentally, I don’t even know if the alien visitor had a name; I could have nicknamed it AV – if only to reflect its audio and visual capabilities.

  Self-awareness isn’t something that can only be accessed by passing through a void that takes you somewhere that doesn’t appear to be here. You remain conscious and you will know when you are being self-aware because you are either questioning yourself or agreeing, having got in touch with your feelings! If you want to tap into the subconscious mind or take a trip into another dimension, via a meditative activity, to bring about a greater self-awareness then by all means find out which one of those floats your boat and give it a go once you’ve learnt how.

  Before I forget, did you read about Fate in the last section of ‘Article 22’? This is after airlifting the magazine off the table, which was actually marked up: ‘Please take a free copy’. Oops, I think I forgot to tell you to imagine that bit. Sorry! Look on the bright side. You’ve had a chance to put together your own two and two and draw your own conclusions, something you may not have thought about doing had you felt well that day. You’ve now had an opportunity to explore the impact that the ‘Power of your mind’ can have on the ‘Folders of your mind’. Guilt may subtly choose to remind you about this awkward experience the next time you visit the surgery, when the CCTV camera turns towards you and the receptionist greets you with the same watchful eye (as if they are both plugged into the same system). But you’ve since learned that you had nothing to feel guilty about. Right?!

  Maybe Fate does play a hand and destiny puts just the right amount of mixed seeds in Fate’s palm so that when they develop, there is just enough space either side for learning to take place allowing room for improvement. The only thing catastrophic that may occur, in the process, is that you forget to dream. Alternatively, the space you currently occupy on this planet may be all you need, in this lifetime, without going off into the galaxy looking for trouble. Daydreaming and searching for something else, outside of your current vision, may only lead to unrequited love between you and the Universe, which is a catastrophe you would rather avoid. And I get that too; it’s OK. We don’t all enjoy puzzles.

  Nonetheless, whatever you choose to do with your space, whether you are in it alone or sharing it with others, be sure to walk a path that feels good for your soul and remember to ‘Coach the artist within you to create…’ [and you can fill in the blank].