No one came to wake her for breakfast. She watched the curtains brighten with the rise of the sun, feeling no desire to crawl out of bed. She was safe there. Under the blankets no one would touch her. Or look at her. Now that Callum’s return was no longer a secret, the chances were greater of him being a guest in their home on a frequent basis, spending time with Edric, training in the courtyard. If they had guests, however, it was even stranger that no one came to check on her. By now the sun was beyond its peak in the sky and there was nothing. Not even a chambermaid had come to clean.
A sense of dread began to build in the pit of her stomach. What if something had happened? Sitting up on the bed she stared at her reflection in the mirror hanging on the wall. She was an abysmal sight. The self-loathing she felt was worse than anything. The thought of facing anyone outside of her room was dreadful. How would she look anyone in the eye? And what if they knew? Her father would be so angry.
From the door she heard a soft click, jumping at the unexpected noise. It was too slow to be the chambermaid. Too precise. Lifting her eyes, she drew in a deep breath to see the Queen standing there. She looked worried. Strained. “Aiva, dear?”
“I am awake Mother. There is no need for alarm,” Aiva sighed, covering her face with her hands. She was miserable. Why couldn’t she just climb back under the covers and start fresh tomorrow?
Leyna moved into the room, her steps uncertain, matching the expression on her face. She remained silent, settling herself on the bed beside her daughter, her voice filled with concern. “I have never been in a situation like this before, and I am not sure what to say, or how to say it. So I suppose it would be best if I asked you the question direct which has been on my mind all morning. Though, maybe I should give you a chance to speak first. Is there anything you would like to tell me, Aiva? Anything at all? About last night?”
This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be. How could they know already? Had Callum been that eager to ruin her? “No,” she lied. “I had a very pleasant evening. I started to feel ill again toward the end of the ball. I know I should have come to you and Father before I left, but I did not want anyone to see me in such a state.”
“Your father and I received some distressing news this morning which would imply your evening to have been more eventful than you say. I want you to be honest with me, Aiva. Is there any truth to what I hear about you and Lord Dacian?”
“That depends on what you have heard.”
“Do not play games, dear. This will affect more than just yourself,” Leyna grimaced, nibbling her lower lip in frustration. “Did he treat you poorly? Was he forward with you? I hate to ask if you allowed it – but I must.”
Aiva narrowed her eyes. That bastard! He just couldn’t keep his mouth shut. “Who told you this?”
“Lord Dacian approached the General this morning. After hearing the confession, Cadell brought him before us to listen as well. I must admit, we were appalled by it.”
“Lord Dacian?” Aiva’s face lost all expression. Dacian? Why would he tell them? Unless he also feared what Callum would do. Dacian served under Callum. To not come clean might risk his position in the regiment. But that didn’t mean she had to admit anything. His word held less weight than Callum’s. “I – why would he say such things? You know I would never do anything improper and I certainly would not let a man take advantage of me.”
Her mother stared into her eyes, searching them. “You deny being in his company?” she asked.
Aiva nodded, emphatic in her motions. She didn’t want to give away that she was hiding something. This would come back to haunt her if Callum decided to speak out against her as well. That was a hurdle she would have to leap when she came to it. “Of course I deny it. I am appalled that he would make a claim against me of that nature.”
“He was quite adamant in his guilt,” Leyna continued. “He named General Cadell’s son to be witness of it all.”
“I would not ask Callum. He is angry with me and would say almost anything to get me in trouble. I am sure of it.”
Leyna’s mouth hung open. “Callum?” she peered quizzically at Aiva. “I was under the impression the two of you had a disagreement at the ball, but I doubt he is angry with you. Besides, your father and I already spoke with him.”
Her blood ran cold. Why had everyone suddenly turned on her? “And what did Callum have to say on the matter?” Hesitantly she clasped her hands in her lap. Afraid to hear the answer to the questions in her mind.
“He also denied the validity of it. We feared that he might be covering for you, however. Aiva – would there be anything which Callum would feel the need to lie about? To his father? To your father and I? It would be very bad if we discovered him to be less than forthcoming.” Leyna straightened. She appeared more uncomfortable with every second she sat there. Aiva couldn’t blame her. It was not a topic she ever wanted to discuss with her mother. But that was her own fault. It was her foolishness which placed them both there now.
“Mother, he knows better than to be dishonest with anyone.” It sounded odd for her to defend him. Callum. The one person she’d been so upset with. Ready to challenge his word. And now, here she was, attesting to his innocence. Why he’d lied, she couldn’t understand. After the way their reunion went at the ball, it didn’t fit. Callum had every reason to throw her to the wolves. In turn, she couldn’t very well repay his assistance in her denial by exposing his misconduct. “Whatever Lord Dacian told you, I can say is false. I am saddened to hear of his instability, however. I was becoming quite fond of him.”
Her mother nodded. It was obvious she wanted to believe what her daughter said, though the doubt was plain on her face. “Well, I have little choice but to believe Lord Dacian’s claims to be false, however, I will tell you that I find it hard to accept that a man of his station would spew insanity of that type. I will leave his punishment in the hands of his commanding officer. Unless you have reason to believe Callum would be unnecessarily harsh on him.”
“I barely know the man anymore. I can say nothing with any certainty about how he conducts his men.” Her guilt was becoming worse. One lie atop another. It was the way of things, and she hated it. She was an honest woman. Why did one silly mistake have to lead to such a mess?
“Very well.” The Queen rose to her feet. “I will leave you to your day. You should be made aware that Siscal has requested the return of our men at sea. The pirates are striking with greater force than before. Retaliation for their losses, I am sure. Our troops will be returning to Siscal in the next few days. Before their departure, it has been decided that Callum will be promoted to the position of Captain. He is far deserving of the role, and as such, we are holding a small celebration in his honor. I ask that you be in attendance. Whatever issue you have with him will need to be put on hold. It cannot be so great that you would risk your best friend leaving for battle while angry with him. That is how the worst regrets come to be.”
“I will be present because duty requires it. At the moment, I would rather not think about him.”
Her mother frowned. “I hoped you would be present because he is your friend.”
Aiva had to admit the grudge was getting hard to uphold. He’d defended her honor, after all. She owed him at least a smile and a dance at his celebration. In the process, it would ease the Queen’s mind. “I will be there for him, Mother. And if you insist, I will even partake in the first dance of the evening.” Better to get it over and done with. To wait would only drag out her torture.
“Of course.” Leyna’s face brightened at the change in her daughter’s tone.
“I will have my finest gown laid out,” Aiva nodded, standing to wrap her arms around her mother. She felt awful for being untruthful with her. It was wrong. Someday she would have to tell her everything. For now, it was better her mother not have to worry about something so trivial when their country was sending their men off to fight in a battle that wasn’t even theirs. The lives of the Tanispan soldiers were on the
Queen’s shoulders. They could worry about a meaningless kiss when things had settled. “I love you, Mother,” she smiled. “Do not worry about me. I will be on my best behavior. You have my word.”
Aiva stood off to one side of the ballroom, leaned against the wall, watching the courtiers lost in their conversations. They’d taken interest in her at first, though after a while they realized she was doing nothing worth whispering about, at least for the time. She’d kept quiet for most of the evening, not wanting to draw attention. After the display at the celebration a few nights prior, she figured it best to lay low.
There were fewer people here than at her parents’ celebration. Callum’s party was limited to the members of the court and military personnel, with no visitors from outside Tanispa. Men from his unit, as well as his father’s, were spread liberally about the room. It was a proud day for General Cadell. His only son was now his closest professional associate. Aiva knew this to have been the hope of the General for some time, but he had little control over the progress his son made. Callum was given no special treatment, his training left to other officers than his father for the sake of fairness to the other troops. He and Callum were aware of the stipulations which would be faced upon his son entering the military. It was the reason Cadell worked so hard on Callum’s combat training while he was younger.
Aiva found it easier to justify being there for the General instead of his son. It was nothing more than an unfortunate happenstance that she would be required to dance with Callum. Still, over the past two days her anger toward Callum had begun to wane. She hadn’t seen him since the night in the garden, and even during the presentation he remained closer to his father, keeping a distance from Aiva. It was better that way. Easier to avoid having to look into his eyes. There would be questions which she had no desire to answer anyway. How could she possibly explain herself to him? Telling the truth wasn’t an option. If he knew the reason she let Dacian near her was because of some ridiculous notion to forget Callum – he would think she had lost her mind. It was petty. He would have every right to be upset with her. It was far simpler to avoid him instead of risk sounding like a fool.
Anxiety was beginning to set in as she watched the musicians setting up beside the dance floor. Why had she said anything about wanting to dance? It hadn’t worked out so well for her last time. She wasn’t sure Callum even wanted to dance with her. But nothing could be done about it now. Her mother had arranged it. Their parents would be pleased to see them dance together, oblivious to the torment it caused.
Aiva made her way toward the edge of the floor like a prisoner preparing for execution. Just one dance. That was all she had to get through. Once it was finished, she could go back to hiding in her corner and be done with the entire event.
Without lifting her gaze, she was aware of a figure coming to stand in front of her, a pale hand held outstretched, palm up, expectant. She accepted it, saying nothing. There was no greeting. Conversation didn’t seem appropriate.
Around them Aiva could hear the men and women complimenting the movements of their dance as the music started. Everyone thought they looked good together. If they only knew! No one could possibly have any idea the discomfort and tension almost palpable between her and Callum. He seemed to want to speak, lacking the words. Aiva’s position was no better. She wasn’t accustomed to thanking people for lying on her behalf. “This is a lovely party.”
Callum was quiet. Calm. Aiva was afraid he would ignore her entirely until she heard his voice, kept low to avoid being overheard by anyone around. “I am surprised you came.”
“I had little choice.”
“As expected,” he nodded. “I will not keep you beyond this dance. Lord Dacian is here. You two should have the gardens to yourself.”
She tensed at his comment. It was direct. Harsher than she’d expected from him. “You have some nerve, Callum,” she said through gritted teeth. “You have no right to judge me. You are a soldier, after all. I know what you are like.”
“You know what I am like?” Aiva could feel his gaze on her, though she refused to give him the satisfaction of looking into his eyes. “Tell me, Aiva. What am I like? Since you know me so well.”
“I know you have no qualms with kissing women and leaving them without word,” Aiva spat quickly, louder than she intended. Catching herself, she continued more quietly. “By now you probably have quite a list of girls you’ve taken advantage of in garden sheds.”
“You might be surprised.”
“Doubtful,” she scoffed. “I have heard the stories of what soldiers do when not on the field. The way they waste their time and money at the taverns. Enjoying the local women. At least Lord Dacian is Vor’shai. The girls you laid with in Siscal were probably Esai at best. They are known for their half-breeds in the mountains. Or maybe you prefer the human girls.”
“Mine is not the life which has been on trial for the last two days.” Callum spun her around sharply, never missing a beat of the gentle melody. His voice remained low, steady, constantly aware of the watchful eyes around them. “You forget that I could have easily confirmed it all for your parents. Instead, I went against my better judgment and lied. To the King and Queen of Tanispa. And to my father. The General of the military in which I now serve as Captain. Do you have any idea the consequences that could carry if they found out? That is treason, Aiva. Now tell me. Was this worth me dying over? Because they could have my head if they wished.”
Aiva frowned, cursing silently to herself. She was in his debt. “I expected you to tell them everything. I am not entirely sure why you did not.”
“Because some part of me thought we were still friends.”
“If we were friends, you would have stayed in contact with me.”
“If we were friends, you would have written me as well.”
Angrily she lifted her eyes to his, no longer able to avoid it. She wanted to see him. To look into the face of the man who now twisted this into being her fault. “Me?” she gasped. “How was I to write? I had no way to know where to send a letter. I only just learned that you were even out in active duty. And fighting the pirates, no less! Promoted to Captain – I have been under the impression all this time that you were still safely in your training lessons.”
“For a decade and a half?” Callum stared at her in disbelief, the umber glow of his eyes brightening with his growing frustration. “Did you really think the training would take me that long?”
“How could I know any different? I had no word to tell me otherwise – ”
“No word? But I… never mind,” he shook his head, stepping away from her coldly as the music came to an end. “Go find Lord Dacian. Or whatever man it happens to be tonight. I recommend you try to keep a better ear out than last time. I won’t cover for you again.”
Aiva watched him walk off the floor, fists clenched. If she could have slapped him without everyone in Sivaeria seeing, she would have. It was tempting to run after him and do it anyway, though the sight of Calie and Kaemin staring at her from the side of the dance floor diffused her anger before it reached that point. He wasn’t worth it. Besides, he would be gone in a few days anyway and everything would be back to normal.
With long strides she made her way from the floor. The crowd was content. They had their dance between the new Captain and their Princess. To everyone around them, it was a perfect show. Except to her friends. As she approached them, she could see the unease on their faces. The concern in their eyes. “Aiva,” Calie started, taking her hand nervously. “Is something wrong? My brother has been acting strangely since the other night and you look distressed.”
“It is nothing,” Aiva smiled. She couldn’t go into details with Calie. The truth would be awkward. If she wasn’t Callum’s sister, it would have been easier. “Are you and Lord Kaemin enjoying the party?”
Kaemin remained perfectly still at Calie’s side. “I am enjoying it as much as one can, under the current circumstances,” he replied absently. “Frankly
, I think every soldier here would rather be somewhere else. Spending time with their families and loved ones before they get sent off to fight. The pirates are creating more trouble for us in Tanispa than I think they are worth.”
“You don’t think our men should go to Siscal?” She was unsurprised by the admission. Many of the soldiers had been against aid being sent to the humans. The pirates had never posed a real threat to the Vor’shai. They preferred to torment the humans in Siscal and Carpaen. Kidnapping citizens on occasion to sell on the slave market. While they had never set foot on Tanispan soil, the King and Queen were aware that it was always a possibility. To Aiva, it was a smart decision to aid in pushing them back. To defeat the raiders before they had a chance to set their sights on Tanispa.
“Don’t mind him,” Calie smiled uncomfortably. “He just found out that his unit might be one of the next deployed. We are still trying to decide what this means for us. There is no telling when he will return. Some of the men spent only a year or two on the seas while others, like my brother, were there for nearly ten. All we can hope for is a transfer into Callum’s regiment. Since they only just returned, his men will be staying in Sivaeria for a few more weeks before setting off again. The other units are set to leave before the week is out.”
“I am sure if you ask Callum he would grant the transfer. You are his sister. It is the least he could do,” Aiva frowned. It was disheartening to think of Kaemin having to leave so soon. And when he had been so excited at the prospect of marriage. If granted the transfer, there would be enough time for an engagement. Even that would be better than nothing.
“Callum has been impossible to speak with. There was some issue involving one of his men. Whatever it was has had him in a bit of a mood. Judging by his quick exit from your company on the dance floor, I think it is safe to assume he is not yet over it.”
Turning around, Aiva searched the crowd for Callum, curious what he had chosen to do after leaving her. It was his celebration. She felt sorry knowing that he wasn’t enjoying himself. To be so angry at your own party. It seemed criminal. She found no sign of him amidst the sea of faces. Her search was cut off at the realization that her mother and father were moving toward the door, General Cadell at their side, heads tilted in toward one another in deep conversation. Their pace was too slow to be anything of importance. No attacks or threats. So what could they have to discuss which would take them away from the ballroom? “Calie,” she said suddenly, her eyes locked on the door where her parents had just exited. “I need to talk to you about something. Will you walk with me?”
The Myatheira Chronicles: Volume Two: Beyond the Veil Page 7