Landon's Desire (Book Three of The Pulse Series 3)

by Rose, Jennifer

  “Nascar shit?” Carl asked, clearly offended.

  “You know what I mean,” Landon squirmed.

  “Don’t be too hard on him, Carl. He’s been around all this for so many years that sadly, he’s lost interest.”

  Carl eyed Landon standing with his hands in his pockets, giving a shoulder shrug.

  “His old man owned the place since his early twenties, Landon practically grew up on the track,” Simon said, as a car roared up alongside them. “Still can’t understand why he’s not a professional driver.”

  “Let’s not do this,” Landon said, throwing his arm over Carl’s shoulder. “This is Carl’s day, not mine.”

  A body climbed out of the driver’s side, Simon helped remove his helmet and stood holding it while he pulled off his fire sock.

  “Holy fuck,” Carl said, his mouth gaping open at the site of Martin Andrews himself, standing in front of him holding out a hand.

  Andrews, a three time Nascar winner, had long ago retired but used the track on a regular basis. He ran summer camps for troubled teens and several fantasy camp programs for those willing to pay the exorbitant fees to dream for a few hours, all proceeds going to charity.

  “You have to be Carl, Landon’s friend,” he supposed.

  “It’s such an honor to meet you, Mr. Andrews, I’m a huge fan.”

  “It’s nice to meet you too kid, call me Martin,” he said. “How about we get you suited up and we can take her for a spin?” He pointed to the car his team was working on.

  Carl looked at Landon, a silly ass grin spread across his face, “Landon?”

  “Go, I want to see you behind the wheel,” Landon winked.

  Carl took off with Martin and a member of the pit crew and Landon stood smiling with his hands in his pockets, getting a charge out of Carl’s excitement.

  “This guy must mean a lot. You’ve never brought anyone here in all the years I’ve known you,” Simon said.

  “I like the guy and he’s so gung ho about Nascar, I couldn’t deny him a chance to experience it first hand, he’ll go to his grave remembering this.”

  “Yep, it’ll be one of those stories he tells the grandkids,” Simon laughed, with a hearty slap on Landon’s shoulder.

  Dressed in all the gear, looking very much like an official driver, Carl donned his helmet and Landon watched from the side lines as Martin and his crew gave instructions. After nearly an hour, it was time to drive. Carl climbed in, he was locked into the cars safety harnessing and the car roared to life.

  While Martin climbed in the passenger side, Carl looked over at Landon who gave him double thumbs up and the wink Carl was beginning to love.

  The car pulled away slowly, Landon knew how nervous Carl had to be. A few laps later his speed had increased. Landon could see the confidence in his driving changing with each round, although he was clearly avoiding the wall, never getting more than halfway up the track. Landon knew the feeling the first time he drove, nerve wracking and downright scary. The last thing you wanted was to scratch up a million dollar car that you didn’t own.

  Landon had tried his hat, with his dad’s encouragement, at driving. He was good, had a great deal of potential and was persuaded by Martin among others to pursue a driving career. But it just wasn’t something he could see himself doing for a living. One minor crash and he called it quits.

  When Carl finally climbed from the car and removed his helmet and fire sock, he was rambling on with the crew and drenched with sweat. He smiled over at Landon and the sparkle in his eyes gave Landon’s heart a punch. Carl was a beautiful man at the best of times, add to that a pinch of perspiration and a dash of exhilaration and Landon wanted to eat him alive.

  Landon realized in that moment, that this was the man he’d been waiting on for all of his life, his soul mate. Carl was the one person with enough energy and enthusiasm to keep up with him, strong enough to keep him in line and bold enough to tell him no. But most of all, he was the one person that Landon could love whole-heartedly. His mind was telling him to be weary, not to let the inevitable happen, but his heart was drawing an entirely different conclusion.

  Carl was the one.

  “Well, how was that?” Landon asked, a small amount of fear suddenly settling in his gut at the thought of Carl not feeling the same about him.

  “Oh man, I can’t begin to thank you,” Carl said, the eagerness pouring from him.

  “Better than sex right?” Simon joked.

  Carl looked to Landon and he roared with laughter at the look on Carl’s face. What a beautiful mess the man standing before him was, such an unnecessarily complicated individual. His shell was going to be hard to crack, but Landon looked forward to showing him a lifestyle with the promise of unconditional love. If he’d only surrender completely to Landon’s will.

  “We better let these guys get back to work,” Landon said. “We have makeshift dinner reservations for seven.”

  “That’s two hours from now,” Carl said, looking at his watch.

  “I can tell time, Babes,” Landon said.

  Carl’s eyes widened at the term of endearment Landon used in front of the group of men. It bothered Landon that it bothered Carl so much. Landon knew who he was, his friends knew who he was and accepted him one hundred percent. Carl needed to get a grasp on his sexuality and be proud of the lifestyle he was embarking on, to stand proud as a gay man and admit who he was. Landon would talk to him over dinner, there was no chance of running away then.

  “This is for you,” Martin said, handing Carl a jacket.

  Covered in sponsor logos, the jacket was autographed in silver marker, Carl, Thanks for the day at the track, Martin Andrews. Nothing could have topped that moment for Carl.

  A chest hug, manly slaps on the back and Carl was sitting in Landon’s truck shaking his head in disbelief.

  “So, the track belongs to your father?” Carl asked.

  “Did,” Landon said, pulling onto the highway, heading south. “He died a few years back, it’s mine.”

  “I’m sorry,” Carl said sadly, his father didn’t talk to him but at least he was alive. “I can’t believe you don’t spend every spare minute there.”

  “Thanks, I miss him a lot,” Landon said, with his eyes on the road ahead. “It belongs to me but I’m not really into it.”

  “If I owned a race track, you’d never see me.”

  “It’s a practice track and good thing you don’t then,” Landon put his hand on Carl’s thigh. “Are you ashamed of me?”

  “What?” Carl asked, the question catching him completely off guard as it came flying out of left field.

  “You didn’t like it when I called you Babes, are you ashamed?”

  “I like when you call me that…I’m not ashamed of you, I’m just not ready for you to call me that in front of other people, it’s too soon.”

  “Sorry, I should have known better,” Landon said, reaching for Carl’s hand. “I’ll slow down and try to control myself around others, but when we’re alone I make no promises.”

  Carl chuckled. “I don’t know why, but for some reason I believe you.”

  “Look Carl, I can be pushy and demanding as fuck. I like things my way and if I feel passionate about something…or someone,” he rubbed his thumb across Carl’s knuckles. “I can’t help showing it.”

  Carl smiled. “I get that, I do… I just need a chance to catch up, do you understand?”

  “Catch up to what?”

  “I’m getting this all wrong,” Carl said, running his hand through his hair in frustration. “My head and my heart aren’t on the same level…I’m…I’m all fucked up…My heart’s saying go for it, but my brains telling me this is all kinds of fucked up,”

  To simply yield and give in to his heart would be so easy, in fact it’s what Carl wanted most, but in the back of his head lay a mountain of fear. What if he gave in and it ended in disaster again, he’d lose his mind. He was truly caught between a rock and a hard place, wedged right in wit
h a decision to make that could and would change his entire world. Would it be the greatest resolution made or the beginning to an end? Fear choked him as he chewed at the inside of his cheek.

  Landon reached out and touched his cheek, a heartwarming smile in his eyes. “Babes, relax, you put way too much pressure on yourself. All I’m asking for is today and the possibility of a tomorrow. I’m not asking for forever…not yet anyway,” he winked.

  There was that wink, the one that melted Carl’s fears away for the moment and put him in a good place…for now.

  They drove into a fenced area. Landon followed the tar mac to a large plain unmarked building surrounded by small aircraft.

  “We’re here,” Landon announced and jumped out of the truck.

  “I thought we were going to dinner?” Carl asked.

  “We are.” Landon took his hand and lead him through a door into an empty bunker. “We’re going to this great little diner in Manhatten that has the most amazing burgers.”

  “New York?”

  “That’s the plan.”

  “So let me get this straight,” Carl said, as they walked through the building, the sound of their steps echoing around them as the plane’s engine starting, “we’re going to New York city for a burger?”

  “Yes.”

  Landon made it sound as if it were like crossing the street to a hotdog stand, like walking to the corner store, like it was an everyday thing.

  “You’re out of your fucking mind…this must be costing you a fortune.”

  “You let me worry about that.”

  A pilot stood at the side of the small jet and held out his hand. “Good evening Mr. Kyle, everything is all set, we will be taking off shortly.”

  “Thanks Jake,” Landon said, and led Carl inside.

  The interior was all white leather, with a small amount of dark wood added for detail. Nothing overly fancy or pretentious, but Carl still felt like a pauper in a king’s world, out of place.

  “You like flying?” Landon asked, as they sat.

  “I’ve never flown,” Carl said. He had a sudden nervous feeling in his gut.

  “Well you’re going to love it, there’s nothing like it.”

  “Landon.”

  “Yeah?”

  “How the fuck can you afford all this?” Carl asked. “You’re a bouncer in a night club, you can’t be making much more than I do and there’s no fucking way I could afford going to McDonald’s much less flying to New York for a burger and fries.”

  Landon didn’t usually share that part of his life with others in fear he’d be treated differently for what he had and not who he was. He lived with little to nothing, a paltry existence that he liked, where everything he had could be carried in a duffle bag. It made his life easier to merely fit into the lifestyle of others.

  “My old man had money, he died a few years back and left it all to me,” he said. “Not too many people are aware of who I am, I like it that way and want to keep it that way. You have to keep my secret, Carl.”

  “Call me a moron, but I don’t know what you’re talking about, who are you?” Carl laughed.

  Landon blew out a breath between puckered lips, it was now or never, let the guy know and place the ball in his court.

  “My full name is Roberto Landon Liberatore, I use my mother’s maiden name Kyle, my father owned Liberator Industries.”

  Carl’s brows shot to the sky, his mouth fell open and all that came out was, “Whoa.”

  Liberator Industries was one of the largest, if not the largest car import company in the world. They imported and exported luxury vehicles, one-of-a-kind creations only the wealthiest of wealthy could afford. Kings and such owned cars specially customized and delivered by Liberator.

  “See that’s exactly why I don’t tell anyone,” Landon said, turning his head to look out the window. “I shouldn’t have told you.”

  “Ace?”

  “What?”

  “Ace, look at me.”

  Landon slowly looked over with a deep crease in his brow.

  “It’s impressive, what can I say? But it’s still not going to get me in your bed. All the money in the world isn’t going to change my mind about you,” Carl said. “I like you, not your money, not this fancy ass plane or the race track, it’s you I like.”

  “It’s a practice track.” Landon corrected for the umpteenth time, not sure why at this very moment it mattered. Carl was admitting he liked him without hesitation.

  “Okay, so I really fucking like the practice track,” Carl declared, making quotations in the air. “It’s still not going to get you a blowjob, Ace.”

  Landon roared with laughter. “Wait until you try the burger, you may just change your mind about that blowjob after that.”

  He was relieved that Carl was truly disinterested in the fact that he was worth a small fortune. It was refreshing that when the name Liberatore was said, it changed nothing.

  The captain announced they would be taxiing to the runway in a few minutes. Landon helped buckle Carl in and held his hand.

  Carl didn’t say he was nervous in so many words, but when the color drained from his face and his hold tightened into a death grip during takeoff, Landon was pretty sure Carl wouldn’t be suggesting any overseas vacations. He held Carl’s hand and talked to him calmly the entire time about nothing in particular. Carl probably wasn’t listening anyway.

  ***

  “You win,” Carl announced, wiping his chin with a paper napkin. “That was the best burger ever.”

  “Did I lie?” Landon grinned. “Well worth the flight, right?”

  “Almost.” Carl eyed Landon, dipped a fry into Landon’s gravy and taking a bite.

  He double dipped the remaining half into the gravy and held it to Landon’s mouth, watching as his lips parted and he bit into the fry, his tongue swept over his lips licking off the gravy.

  “Can I ask you something personal?” Carl asked.

  “Sure you can.”

  “How did your dad feel about your being gay?”

  Landon smirked. “My family accepted my coming out, not one of them has ever said a negative thing, not to my face anyway. I was very young, fourteen when I confessed that I was attracted to boys. My dad told me to stand proud, but be careful who I shared with because people in general were ignorant. He was my biggest supporter. I got picked on and beat up on more than one occasion and he cleaned me up, brushed me off and made sure I was good again…and then he enrolled me in defense classes.”

  “When you talk about your father’s business though, something seems off,”

  “My dad assumed that me being his only son, I would take over the family business and step in where he left off,” Landon said, offering a fry and watching Carl bite into it, popping the other half into his own mouth. This sharing food thing was sexy as hell, he could gladly sit there feeding Carl all day.

  “You had other ideas?”

  “Law enforcement,” Landon said, stealing a pickle from the side of Carl’s plate. “When I was fifteen, my friend Willy used to get himself in trouble at least once a week, his parents finally had enough and sent him to this prevention program. My mom thought it would be a good thing to send me along too.”

  Landon laughed at the memory and took a bite out of his burger.

  “We sat in a courtroom and watched as prisoners were sentenced, that was kinda cool, then we toured jail cells. They locked us in for about a half hour while convicts strolled passed the cells and told us their story. That was cool too.”

  Landon picked another pickle from Carl’s plate and Carl dipped a fry into Landon’s gravy and Landon smiled, he’d have to take him for food more often. The idea of ordering in and sharing the food and something more for desert had him growing hard. He swallowed and got back to the conversation before he lost control.

  “Then we toured the police station, got finger printed and our mug shots taken, I still have mine, and we sat in the briefing room and listened to the cops stories,�
� Landon held out a fry smothered in gravy to Carl’s mouth, his tongue darted out and licked off the gravy before he bit it. Landon nearly ignited at the sight. He cleared his throat and took a gulp from his beer glass.

  “Anyway…there was this one cop, he kept watching me the whole time, he pulled me to the side told me I didn’t fit into the group, that I had the potential to be something great. He took me to his office and showed me his diplomas, pictures of him and the Mayor, stuff like that. He let me hold his gun, that was the coolest fucking thing, and gave me a badge to keep. I went back to school on Monday and all I wanted was to be a police officer. He’s the reason I joined the force.”

  “So why are you a bouncer in a night club, what happened to your dream of being a cop?” Carl asked, taking a sip of beer.

  “I was a cop, I left the force a few years after my partner was killed.” Landon pushed his plate to the side and wiped his mouth with a paper napkin, balling it up and tossing it onto his half eaten burger. “I went into private eye work and a year later my old man died. I take care of Liberator now…in the end he got what he wanted.”

  The conversation was getting far too melancholy for Landon’s liking. “When you’re done we should take a walk around time square, before heading back. The entertainment value of just watching people in this town is incredible, you’ll love it.”

  “I’m game,” Carl said, wiping his mouth and laying his napkin over his plate.

  Carl took his wallet from his back pocket, a wonderful gesture but Landon wouldn’t let it happen, he put his hand over Carl’s and grinned. “I asked you on this date, I’ll get this.”

  “You don’t think you’ve done enough?”

  “No,” Landon said, honestly. “There’s so much more I want to do.”

  Carl wasn’t sure if he meant while in New York or in general. The smile in Landon’s eyes could have been taken either way. He was a breath of fresh air. Landon had no hidden agenda, he merely wanted to spend time with him and Carl was starting to get used to the idea.

  “Such as?” he asked.