A Mother to Love

by Gail Gaymer Martin

  The song ended. His heart rejoiced for the special moment. “You know that song.”

  “I used to go to church when I was young. I drifted away after college. I don’t even remember why.”

  From the expression on her face, he guessed she had an inkling, but this was no time to press her on that topic. The next song began. “Humble Thyself in the Sight of the Lord.” His emotions replayed in the words: he would be lifted up higher and higher. It was what he’d felt. What he’d experienced.

  Though Angie sang a few phrases, now she listened as if soaking in the words. He remained silent, enjoying the time together, yet longing to touch her soft skin, to hold her hand that rested on the chair’s canvas arm.

  Taking a chance, he placed his hand on hers, avoiding any action that might arouse her concern. When she shifted her eyes to his and smiled, he curled his fingers over hers and held his breath. What more could he ask for?

  The first set ended. Before he could suggest they go check out the ice cream, Angie swung toward him, a serious expression on her face. “This music has brought back so many memories, Rick. Really good memories of a time I was connected with my faith and when I knew Jesus was with me and I could lean on Him.” She glanced away, and he watched her brush moisture from her eyes. “Such a simple thing, really. Faith is exactly that. Trusting. Hoping. Loving. How could I have walked away so easily?”

  With his heart in his throat, Rick scuffled for words that would make a difference for her. “Evil is everywhere, Ang, always looking for a tiny chink in our beliefs. Temptations beguile us and we stumble away, looking for answered promises and something to delight us. We’ve all been there in our own ways.” He touched her cheek. “And you’re beginning to realize again what it is that really delights us. Our Lord.”

  She closed her eyes, emotions sweeping like a kaleidoscope across her face. “You just described my relationship with Cal. I was beguiled by a world I’d never known and promises he could never keep.” She drew in a lengthy breath. “Thank you. I really understand what happened. I was deluded, deceived, enticed. No excuses. My strength failed me, a strength I prided myself on having.”

  “Ang, it’s not hard to be fascinated by new experiences and blame ourselves for our weaknesses. Not long ago, you reprimanded me for calling myself a bad, maybe a mediocre, dad. Do you remember?”

  A tender look touched her face, and she nodded.

  “Do you remember what you told me?”

  Angie slipped her hand around and wove her fingers through his. “I do. Thank you again. I need to listen to my own preaching.” She leaned across the gap and kissed his cheek. “You’re a wonderful man, Rick. The best.”

  The best. He had nothing to say that could capture what her words meant to him. He smiled and touched her cheek. His cell phone’s ringtone began, and he let his hand drop. When he eyed the caller ID, he saw Glenda’s name. “What does she want now?”

  “Rick, take the call.”

  His heart jumped realizing Glenda had used his cell phone. He hit the talk button, and his eyes widened hearing Carly’s voice.

  “Are you okay, sweetheart?”

  “I had fun, Daddy.”

  “You did.” He glanced at Angie, surprise still coursing through him. “What kind of fun?”

  “Mommy took me to the Railroad Days, and I have a flower painted on my cheek, and I watched the clowns toss things in the air. And you know what?”

  Her voice piped through the line and, hoping Angie could hear, he pulled the phone away from his ear. “No, what.”

  “They caught them.”

  “That’s called juggling.”

  “Juggling. And they made animals and surprises with balloons. I have one, Daddy. Can I bring it to your house so you can see it?”

  “You sure can.” If it lasted that long. He pictured her disappointment when tomorrow they were airless pieces of rubber.

  “And we got to go inside a capoose. It had a porch on it. It was so fun, and Mommy and I pretended we were going on a trip and waving goodbye.”

  Ah. Now he understood. “You were in a caboose.”

  “Uh-huh. A capoose.”

  He grinned and didn’t correct her.

  “And we had ice cream with chocolate and a cherry on top.”

  “I love ice cream sundaes, too. I think I’ll have one today myself.” He grinned at Angie and inclined his head toward the ice cream bar.

  A smile brightened her face and warmed him.

  “Mommy says I have to say goodbye now, Daddy. I love you.”

  “I love you, too, sweetheart.” His knees weakened hearing his little girl’s words. He loved her more than life. “I’m glad you called. Tell your mommy thank you for letting you call my cell phone.” He rolled his eyes, making sure Angie saw him.

  “I told her you might not be home. Are you?”

  “No, I’m out, too, but not having as much fun as you are.”

  She giggled, and he heard her mother take the phone and end the call.

  “I’m so happy Glenda’s doing something with Carly. She needs to be the center of her attention sometimes. I know she’s busy and tired, but—”

  “But a mother needs to take time for her kids. They are her priority. I’m glad she’s doing things with Carly and hope she’s been motivated by hearing the fun things you and Carly have done.”

  He chuckled. “Jealousy can be powerful motivation for action. She’s competing, Angie, and I’m glad. Whatever it takes, Glenda’s being a mom.” He shook his head. “I don’t mean to belittle her. I too understand how difficult it is to be a single parent, but I know she is a good mother. She just needs to let Carly see that.”

  Angie touched his cheek, but the sweet smile on her lips faded. “On that note, I thought of something I meant to mention to you, and it’s difficult to ask this.” She lowered her eyes. “But it’s only temporary.”

  An uneasy sensation crept up his back. “What is it?”

  “When you visit my family, I think it would be wise not to talk about Carly. It will stir up issues, I’m afraid. I know my mom, and she could blow things out of proportion. She always fears a man will take advantage of me. You know, like he needs a mother for his child, so he beguiles her into a marriage. That isn’t love.” She shook her head, her tension growing. “She rubs Cal in my face on occasion. She doesn’t mean to do it, but...”

  Her request dampened the joy he’d been experiencing with her. Yet he tried to understand. She made sense in a way. He’d seen her family hovering and wanting details of her every move, but still...

  “I’ve hurt you, Rick, and I’m sorry. You know how much I love Carly, and I have to caution myself too not to talk about her. I want them to see you as the man you are and not look for an ulterior motive. Can I retract what I asked? You be who you are. That’s a father of a lovely five-year-old daughter who means the world to me, too. Can you forgive me? I was stupid to ask this.”

  He reached for her hand. “Let’s head over for an ice cream sundae. You don’t need forgiveness. We have lots to talk about, and if they ask, I won’t lie...or exaggerate, as you like to call it.”

  The comment made her laugh. “I don’t want you to exaggerate or lie. You’re Rick Jameson, Carly’s dad, and if they want to find an ulterior motive, it won’t bother me. I know the truth.” She grasped his hand, and they headed for the ice cream bar as the next band began its first song, “Open the Eyes of My Heart, Lord.”

  The song struck home. Today assured him. He had to open the eyes of his heart. What was the point of lying about his feelings for Angie? Or exaggerating? He grinned. His feelings were real and growing.

  * * *

  When she heard the doorbell chime, Angie rested the broom against the doorjamb, her curiosity growing, and went to the door. As she approached the screen,
she grinned. “Elwood. El, how nice to see you.” She unlocked the door and pushed it open. “Please, come in.”

  His eyes twinkled as they seemed to do. “I only wanted to tell you how great your landscaping looks with all the new flowers. Very pretty, and I see you’ve added some perennials.”

  “I did.” She drew back again and pushed open the screen door wider. “But won’t you come in?”

  He pondered a second before he grasped the door frame and stepped into the foyer. “I don’t want to trouble you. I’m sure Saturday is cleaning day.” He grinned. “Or it seemed to be my wife’s. I think her mother did it that way.”

  Angie chuckled. “I’m glad you came by. I made some cookies a couple days ago, and I have more than I need.” She motioned toward the kitchen. “I want to send a few home with you.”

  “But what about that little girl I see here? I’m sure she enjoys—”

  “Carly.” She grinned. “She’s Rick’s daughter, and he only has her every other weekend. I promised when she’s here again she could help me bake cookies.” She winked. “She’ll have plenty of cookies.”

  “You’re going to teach her to bake. Good for you.” He paused as curiosity spread across his face. “So he’s widowed?”

  Angie winced, fearing he might not approve of their friendship. “Not widowed.” She looked away. “He’s—”

  El patted her arm. “No need to explain. He’s divorced. It happens too often in this world even when one party is against it. Sad situation.”

  “He tried to keep it together, especially for Carly’s sake, but she wanted her freedom.”

  “The story’s familiar.”

  She motioned to an easy chair. He glanced behind him and sat, and she took a seat near him. “I’m afraid we’ll see that one of these days on Lilac Circle. I have too much time on my hands, I guess. Who’d think I’d be a nosy old codger? Pretty soon you’ll be calling me Birdie.” He shrugged. “I see too much sittin’ out on the stoop.”

  “You mean Rema?” She feared he meant her neighbor. With her mind on Rick, she’d paid little attention to the happenings at Rema’s.

  He shrugged. “I fear so. That man of hers is gone more than he’s there. Now, you can’t tell me he works all those hours.” He lowered his eyes. “Scripture says the tongue is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. I need some kneel time with the Lord. I’m old enough to know better than to gossip.”

  “El, you’re not gossiping. And by the way, who’s Birdie?”

  “Ah, you haven’t met her. I should keep my mouth shut.” He swung his hand toward the redbrick house across the street where the road jogged. “She’s the neighborhood hawk. She sees everything, and the good thing about it is if your home is ever burgled, she’ll have a full description of the perpetrator and likely will have already called the police.”

  She chuckled. “You’re kidding. I guess I haven’t had the pleasure.”

  “I’m sure you will. She watches your house, you can be sure. Birdie gives us all a chuckle. She rarely does harm, but she lets you know what she thinks.”

  Meeting Birdie would be another experience she would face when it happened. “But talking about what someone thinks, I think you’re as far from a gossip as one can get. Gossips are usually focused on stirring up trouble. You’re a godly man with no malice in your heart.”

  “Thank you.” He gave her a subtle nod, yet seemed unconvinced.

  “El, you know I care about Rema and so do you. We’re concerned for her. Thanks for letting me know what you suspect. I need to be a better friend.” Her mind flew to Rick, who’d been the best friend in the world, and what had she really done for him?

  “Thank you. I do feel sad for her, and I’ve never spoken to anyone but you. You seem special, Angie. I’ve seen you a bit with that little girl, and I shook my head and said that woman should be a mother. You’re a natural.”

  Her cheeks warmed. “I never thought I’d be a mother. I still have no plans, but I’ve enjoyed getting to know Carly. She’s a special child. Wise for her years.”

  “Don’t close your eyes to motherhood, Angie. The Lord has our best at heart. Have you heard the scripture, a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps? It’s not only a man. You can change that to a woman plans her course.” He gave her a wink.

  She grinned, tickled by his humor.

  “I think that’s what you’ve done. You’ve planned your course.” He chuckled, his eyes twinkling. “But the Lord will guide you. Just open your heart.”

  His words triggered her memory. The song filled her mind that she’d heard at the ice cream social with Rick. “Do you know this song, El?” She began to sing, “Open the eyes of my heart, Lord.”

  El joined in, his rich baritone affected by only a small tremor.

  The joy on his face stirred her, and a sensation awakened something inside the depths of her being. When the song ended, she rose and gave Elwood a hug. “El, you have a really good voice. I love that song.”

  “I did have a voice once before I sounded as if I was sittin’ on a washing machine.” He slapped his lap and rose. “Now it’s time to let you get back to work.” He rose, stood a moment to get his balance and then stepped toward the doorway.

  “Not before I ask you a question and give you some of those cookies.” A few cookies could never repay for the moment that a door had opened inside her as if someone in a dark room had turned on the light.

  El looked at her with question.

  “The question first. I know how the street got its name, but who conspired to have everyone on the street to plant lilacs?”

  He chuckled. “Well, now, that’s not a difficult question at all. One Fourth of July we had a block party. Everyone shared food for a potluck, and we sat along the street swapping stories.” He leaned back and looked up as if thinking.

  “So someone mentioned it as a street project.”

  El shook his head. “Not quite. A neighbor said he’d purchased a couple of lilac shrubs to plant in his backyard, and someone else popped up and said he’d been thinking the same thing.” He slapped his leg with a chuckle. “Pretty soon someone else liked the idea, and not to be outdone, soon the whole bunch of us had decided to plant the shrubs. That’s it in a nutshell.”

  Angie grinned, thinking it was a pretty big nutshell.

  El took a step toward the door. “I’ve taken enough of your time, so—”

  “No, you don’t.” Angie held up her hand. “Not until you get those cookies.” She hurried into the kitchen. She dropped cookies into a plastic bag and carried them back to El, who was standing by the door. “Thank you for the visit and for reminding me to visit Rema. She needs to know I care.” She handed him the bag of cookies. “These are for you. And I hope you know I care about you, El. You have a way of opening my eyes with the right words at the right time. You’ve given me food for thought.”

  His eyes crinkled. “And you’ve given me food for my sweet tooth.” He patted her arm, opened the door and made his way down the steps and out to the public sidewalk. As he turned to head home, he gave her a wave. She waved back, sensing she was different than she had been when he’d arrived at her door.

  * * *

  Rick scanned the faces eyeing him. Angie had been right. Each family member studied him in their own way, either with hope or with eagerness to prove their relationship was useless. Her mother’s face glowed with expectation, as if searching for a clue to his romantic intentions. Her sister’s brown eyes snapped with suspicion, letting him see what Angie had been up against.

  As they sat in her mother’s homey living room, he sensed their underlying attempt to analyze everything he said and did. He pressed his back into the overstuffed chair. Even the flowery upholstery did not give him a comfy feeling. Aware of their scrutiny, he plastered on a pleasant look, not wanting
to upset Angie. She’d worried enough about spending the Sunday afternoon with them.

  “So, you met at work.”

  His sister’s expression held doubt.

  “We did. I had already been there for a few years when Angie joined us. Since we were in the same department then, I took her under my wing, and we got to know each other.”

  “But now?” Her mother’s eyes bored through him, even though she’d planted a smile on her lips.

  “Now? I’m in a different department most of the time, but...” He glanced at Angie, at a loss for words.

  “Mom, I told you. Rick and I are very good friends. We enjoy each other’s company and we’ve done some things together outside work. He was a great help when I moved.”

  Rick chuckled. “She learned if I could do nothing else, I was great at lugging boxes up the stairs.”

  Her dad arched a brow. “I’m sure you have other talents.” His brow belied his grin.

  “Yes, Dad.” Angie’s tone held an edge. “This man can eyeball a picture hanger so it lies perfectly straight on a wall. I don’t own a lever.”

  “Level.” Rick tried to cover his laugh, but her father got the humor, and for the first time, Rick felt some camaraderie with her dad.

  Her father slapped his leg. “I guess this is why I need a son.” He winked. “For self-defense.” Her father rose and gave a head toss. “Let me show you my tool shop, Rick. You might appreciate it.”

  “I know I will.” He rose, aware that he’d stretched the truth. The last thing he wanted to do was be cornered alone with her father.

  Her father motioned for him to follow. They went through the kitchen still filled with the rich scents of the roast and baked vegetables. He had to admit that Mrs. Bursten was an excellent cook.

  Angie’s dad led him into the backyard and to a small building attached to the garage. When her father opened the door, Rick stepped inside and faltered. “Mr. Bursten, this is cleaner than my kitchen.”

  “Call me Tom, and thank you. Tools are friends, and we treat friends well. Get me?”

  “I do.” He pointed to the peg board wall filled with his tools. “And I see you have a level.” He gave Tom a wink. “Or lever, as your daughter likes to say.”