A Mother to Love

by Gail Gaymer Martin

  She gave a nod and headed for the sliding door while he grabbed a couple of soft drinks from the refrigerator and followed her.

  When they’d settled, he leaned back, not sure where to start. His mind swung from Glenda to Angie to Carly, and he tried to find a logical order in which to proceed. He failed. So much for logic. He’d start with what was most on his mind. “I made an appointment with my attorney to talk about issues I’m having with Glenda.”

  “What issues?” Her eyes narrowed as her brow furrowed. “I thought you two were working things out okay. It’s been three years, Rick.”

  “It has, but it’s never been smooth. We both wanted full physical custody and naturally I lost. Mothers usually win in court unless they’re drug addicts or abusive and it can be proven. You know Glenda is a good woman. I wouldn’t have asked her to marry me if she wasn’t, but I didn’t see the side of her that would cause problems.”

  “What’s happening now to cause problems between you?”

  He related the telephone call and his suspicions, and the more he relived it, the more his body responded to his frustration and anger. “She’s not taking Carly to Europe, not even for a week.”

  An expression of concern came over Rene’s face. “I understand why you’re leery, but it would be a lovely experience for Carly. She’s five going on six, isn’t she? And Mom tells me she’s bright as a star.”

  Though he managed a grin, he didn’t feel it. In fact, he boiled inside. “She is, Rene, but think about it. Once Glenda has Carly out of the country, who knows what she could do. If she had already planned to keep her there, I would have a hard time getting her back. I can’t take that chance. Glenda thinks of Glenda and what she wants.” He shook his head and dragged in a breath. “Even Carly sees that at times. I’m sorry that the child is so wise, but she truly has an understanding of her mom far beyond her years.” He jerked his head upward. “And don’t think I’ve coerced her or spoken badly of her mom. I haven’t. I try to always speak with respect and—”

  Rene flexed her palm to stop him. “Rick. You’re my brother. I know you as well as anyone. You would never do that, so you don’t need to defend your actions. I can see why you’re afraid of what could happen. I understand why you’re seeing your lawyer. It’s a good idea.”

  His shoulders eased downward. “I’m glad you recognize my concerns. Sometimes I wonder if I’m the crazy one.”

  “Far from it, and remember, I know Glenda, too. The whole family saw her ways, and I think that’s why you might have sensed Mom and Dad weren’t the most joyful parents at the announcement of your engagement. But they knew you had brains and assumed you could handle it.”

  He averted his eyes, trying to sort out what she’d said. “I had no idea Mom and Dad weren’t happy about the engagement. I know they didn’t have much input into the wedding plans, but then, neither did I.” The reality kicked him in the stomach. “I was stupid, it seems.”

  “No, you were blinded by love. I only wish she had the same devotion to you as you did to her. It’s what keeps a marriage together. You don’t think Hal and I would have made it all these years without that basic commitment. Love conquers all. Remember what scripture says? If you don’t, read it. Corinthians 13 verses one to thirteen. It’s one of the most beautiful explanations of love I’ve ever read.”

  “Okay, Mom.”

  Rene chuckled. “The older I get, the more of Mom comes out in me.” She waved him on. “So, go ahead. What’s the next problem?”

  “It’s not a problem, but Carly adores Angie, and that’s caused competition with Glenda. Carly comes home from times with Angie bubbling about how much fun they have and what Angie is teaching her. I can’t ask Carly not to say anything. I don’t think she would understand.”

  “Whoa. That is an issue. Vindictiveness is a way to attack competition. We’ve seen evil things happen from envy.” She shook her head, seeming lost in thought. “I suppose you don’t want to stop spending time with her when Carly’s with you.”

  “Rene, if you saw them together you’d better understand. Angie adores her. She’s taught her so many things. Carly’s learned to plant flowers. Angie let her select flowers for her beds at her home and taught her to set the table. I can’t tell you the things that she’s shown her, and Carly is proud as she learns these little things. I’m ashamed of myself for not realizing what she can learn. I’m learning from Angie, too.”

  “I’d like to meet her, Rick. She sounds amazing.”

  “She is.”

  “So what’s stopping you from progressing? You said you’re ignoring the company policy and I agree. It’s antiquated.”

  “They have their reasons, but I’m hoping one day they’ll see the error of it all. I don’t think it’s ever been challenged.” His heart lifted. “Maybe Ang and I will be the first ones to do that.”

  Rene grinned. “Good for you, and she seems like the girl who could do that.”

  He glanced at his watch. “We’d better get going before we both starve. It’s getting late, and the popular restaurants get crowded.”

  She rose and grabbed her handbag. “Let’s go. I’m not one to stand in line for long.”

  He knew that. He slid open the balcony door and stepped inside. “Thanks for listening, Rene. The person I love to talk with is Angie, and as you can see, some of our conversation makes it impossible.”

  “Gotcha.”

  * * *

  Angie sat in the kitchen trying to feel her lips. She chuckled at the numbness that lingered following the small cavity filling. She’d suggested no local anesthetic, but her dentist had insisted on giving her the shot just in case. Anesthetic was worse than the filling.

  Another thing as bad as the anesthetic was not seeing Rick. She’d been confused and had avoided him for a couple of days, and now she’d missed work. The gap seemed to widen since he hadn’t called her. She gave up trying to eat dinner even though it was late. Eating once feeling had returned in her mouth made more sense.

  She picked up her soft drink and headed outside. Though dusk lowered on the horizon, she breathed in the pleasant air. She lifted her shoulders and gazed at what she’d done to the flower beds. Her front beds were blossoming, and the wave petunias were spreading as the description had promised. She loved the colors Carly had selected. Obviously pink was her favorite color. Every blossom was a shade of pink from vivid to pastel.

  She sank to the porch steps, her chest weighted with her reaction to Rick’s kiss. She’d loved it. She’d been as much a part of it as he had. She needed to apologize. Yet admitting the truth seemed too much a commitment. Was she ready for it?

  Hearing a sound, she rose and spotted a nice-looking middle-aged woman treading toward her with a scowl on her face. Angie had no idea what she’d done, but it had to be something. “Hello. You must be a neighbor I’ve never met.”

  “Birdie.” She folded her arms across her ample chest. “I just came from having dinner in town with my cousin.”

  “How nice.” Stymied as to why the visit, she waited.

  “Nice for me, I suppose.” She gazed at the yard. “Nice flowers. I saw that little girl helping you plant. Cheap labor.”

  Though a fleeting grin curved her mouth, her earlier demeanor returned. “And speaking of that little girl, is she yours?”

  The abrupt question surprised her. “No, she’s—”

  “Your boyfriend’s. If you think he’s single, you have another think coming. He had dinner with his wife at the café where I just ate. If not his wife, then he has another woman. I noticed they were close, patting each other and laughing.”

  The blast of information spun her brain, and Angie fought to gather her wits. “Rick is a free man. We’re not engaged. We’re just good friends.”

  “Really?” She arched an eyebrow so high it nearly touched her hairl
ine. “I thought you should know. Sorry to bother you, and I see that I’ve annoyed you from your expression. Some women want to know when they’re being cheated on. I would. But apparently you’re different.”

  A huff sounded in her voice as she turned and strode back up the street.

  Angie watched her, finally able to close her gaping mouth, overwhelmed by utter disappointment. She’d trusted Rick’s honesty and kindness. He’d finally broken her barriers of trust. Her relationship with Cal, all of his empty promises even with her attempts to please him, had ended in disgust. While in his company, she’d done things she’d known were wrong, but he’d hinted at marriage and a wonderful life. In her delusion she’d trusted him, and even before his accidental death she’d sensed she’d made a mistake. After his death, she’d wallowed in disgust for behaving in a way that shamed her and had faced the fact that marriage never would have happened.

  Then Rick had stepped into her life, but if Birdie was correct, her disillusionment would send her back in the past and she would never trust a man or her judgment again. The dinner she’d planned to eat later held no interest. She sank to the sofa and pressed her head against a decorative pillow, weighted with her thoughts.

  When the phone rang, she jerked upward, dazed and nauseated, and then realized she’d fallen asleep. She searched for her cell phone and found it in the kitchen. By then the caller had hung up. She sank onto the nearest chair and searched through recent calls. Rick. Her heart lurched as a ragged breath ripped from her lungs.

  Closing her eyes, she tried to make sense out of Birdie’s visit and Rick’s call. When she gazed at the phone again, she saw the blink of a voice message.

  She tapped the icon that took her to the message center and keyed in the password, her heart in her throat. “Sorry, I missed you, Angie. I really wanted to talk with you in person. I tried today, but they said you’d taken off early to see the dentist. I had dinner with my sister tonight, and I made some plans. Could you call me when it’s convenient? We haven’t spoken in a couple of days, Ang, and I miss you.”

  Startled by his message and her accusation, moisture formed in her eyes. She dropped her head to the table, rocking her neck back and forth, as she tried to dislodge her shock at Birdie’s accusation. She’d begun building defenses rather than admitting her feelings and trusting him. She’d only met Birdie and had been told about the woman’s joy of sharing both truths and untruths. Rick meant the world to her. Why hadn’t she asked him first? Losing him and Carly would be horrendous.

  Managing to calm herself, Angie tossed her reaction aside and redialed Rick’s number. When he answered, her heart stood still. “I didn’t get to my cell phone on time. I couldn’t remember where I’d left it.”

  “That’s so unlike you, Ang. It seemed strange not seeing you or even talking with you. I guess we both took time to...”

  He faltered and she understood why. “I’m going to be honest, Rick. I was angry at myself for enjoying your kiss. That sounds stupid, but I’m feeling overwhelmed. Our friendship has gone in directions I never expected and I—”

  “And you’re disappointed in me.”

  His tone broke her heart. “No, Rick. You did what I’ve wanted to do, but I couldn’t admit it. You’re an amazing man, and you mean so much to me. I’m afraid to act on it, and yet I plowed into the kiss with gusto.”

  “I know, and it took my breath away. I can’t tell you how happy you made me.”

  “But I don’t want to lead you on, Rick. If I were thinking commitment, you’d be the only man I would want to spend my life with. I’m comfortable with you and love your company. I love Carly with all my heart, and it’s the first time in my life I can imagine what it would be like to have a child of my own. I don’t want to let you go.”

  “Good, because I don’t want to lose you, either. You mean too much to me. You’re one of the only people I can talk with about things I need to get out of my system. I trust you. I admire you. I dream about you and what it would be like to spend my life with you.”

  His voice held a faint tremor that exposed his emotion, and her heart swelled. “I feel the same.”

  “Then let’s stop fighting it, Angie. We have time. We’re not going anywhere. Let’s take it day by day. Any problems we come across will work out. If you need time, I’m here. I can wait if I know that you feel the same. That’s something I haven’t known. Maybe I’m blind again, but—”

  “Blind again?” Confused, she waited for his response.

  “I had a talk with my sister, Rene, about Glenda’s latest escapade.”

  He told her about his marriage and the new issue with taking Carly to Europe.

  “Europe? I don’t blame you for being concerned, Rick, and I’m glad you’ve made an appointment with your attorney. He’ll give you the best guidance on that issue.” Birdie’s visit swept through her mind. “I needed your guidance earlier today, but I felt helpless and...it’s a long story.”

  “I like long stories.”

  She waited a moment before admitting she’d fallen asleep crying. “Here’s why I really missed your call, although it is true that I couldn’t find my phone. I spent this afternoon crying myself to sleep. I haven’t eaten since breakfast.”

  “Why? What happened?”

  Birdie had happened. She related her neighbor’s visit and the conversation. “Somehow I let her gossip make me believe that you’d ended our relationship and were out with an attractive woman.”

  “My sister is attractive. You’ll see that when you meet her tomorrow.”

  “Tomorrow?”

  “My mom’s invited us to dinner. When school’s out tomorrow, I’ll pick up Carly, and when you’re home, I’ll come by, and we’ll be on our way. By the way, let’s not say anything about the attorney. I’ll be talking with him tomorrow. I’d hate for Carly to overhear us.”

  “I understand.” Her heart ached thinking of sweet little Carly being pulled into a parental tug-of-war. Yet Rick’s fear was real. Once out of the country, he would have little control.

  “On a nicer note, Mom’s eager to meet you. I’m sure she’s already planning the wedding.”

  “I guess we have the same problems with our moms.”

  He grinned. “By the way, Rene’s anxious to meet you and Carly.”

  “I miss that child so much, Rick.” Carly’s image glowed in her mind. “And I miss you, too.”

  “Those are beautiful words, and to be honest, I figured I’d overstepped myself, and you were planning to end our friendship, so we were both being silly. It’s a lesson learned. Good communication can end wrong deductions and it can resolve even the most serious problems. Let’s promise to communicate. To talk when we’re confused and worried. Can we promise?”

  “I can, Rick. I hate what I felt. I love the way it is now.” But as the words left her, she faced her own truth. She hadn’t been totally honest with Rick about her past. If their relationship could grow, telling him the whole story was a must. But could she do it?

  “Great. Open, honest and positive. I like that, and I promise, too.”

  He was silent a moment while she struggled with her obviously twisted promise.

  “Ang, thanks. I’ll see you after work tomorrow. And be prepared. This time you’re the one on trial.”

  * * *

  On Thursday, from the moment Angie and Rick walked into his mother’s house, she hung on to her every word. The questions were more subtle than her mom’s and Connie’s, but the glint in Rick’s eyes sent her a message. Revenge. Today was her turn for the shrewd grilling. Though Angie longed to refute Rick’s grin, it was impossible with them all gaping at her. His mother’s sweet smile and bright eyes helped her feel more at home. She’d noticed a photograph of Rick’s deceased father and she speculated what Rick might look like at his age. In the photo, gray was woven through hi
s father’s brown hair, yet he remained youthful looking, probably as good-looking as Rick would be when he was that age.

  She had hoped that Carly would distract them, but no. Though they hugged her and doted on her, Carly didn’t steal one bit of attention from Angie despite her hopefulness.

  His mother’s question bounced over her head, and Angie paused to think. “Yes, Rick and I have known each other quite a while. Four years plus. I noticed his sadness right after I started working there. It caught my attention. When he smiled, he was a light turned on in a dark room, but some days, the dark never brightened.”

  Mrs. Jameson lifted her shoulders as she eyed Carly’s nearness. “That was a difficult time for him. For all of us because Ricky rarely said much to us. Still, we saw the same desolation.”

  Rick looked away, his focus on Carly playing across the room with her puzzles, but Angie sensed it was his way of avoiding the conversation. Finding himself discussed while he was sitting there couldn’t be a pleasant experience.

  Angie wished it hadn’t happened, but in truth, Rick had talked with her about his troubles, and she’d never understood why he’d picked her. He had opened up to her more than once about his crumbling marriage and his worry about his little daughter. Strange, but in all those years, she’d never met Carly. Today his mother’s admission caused her to feel guilty that he’d opened up to her. But she refused to think about it. At the time, Rick talking with someone had been important. She had just happened to be the person.

  “You have a lovely home, Mrs. Jameson.” Angie swept her hand toward the far side of the room, hoping to redirect their conversation.

  To her surprise, his mother grasped her hand on return. “Thank you. His dad and I loved our home, and now that he’s gone, it’s filled with all the memories. Ricky grew up in this house.”

  Ricky. Every time she heard his childhood nickname, Angie had to swallow her chuckle. She shifted her eyes to Rick’s and watched a pink tinge grow on his cheeks. “I’m sure it was always a happy home.”