I was left alone, holding onto Pisey. Suddenly, Issarak advanced towards me. My eyes widened. I urged my horse out of his way. As if Pisey could read my mind, she took off into the sky. Issarak followed. I tugged the reins and the horse turned with a hard kick of her back hooves. Pisey struck the bird's head so hard, it was bent to the side. Issarak swayed off of the air for a moment before he regained his altitude and came back at me again. He swung his spear at my head. Luckily, I dodged it and kicked him in the ribs. He yelped and almost fell off his Hamsa.
Everywhere I looked, the fight still continued.
Out of the blue sky, Ravi appeared on another Hamsa. She stood on the seat of the vehicle then jumped with a spinning backward kick in the air, sending a column of a whirlwind. It slammed the battling avatars in full blast. Everyone broke apart from each other. Some barely held onto their mounts.
They turned to look at the girl, who was now settled back onto her craft. She didn't say anything. Issarak didn't look pleased with the interruption, but for some reason, he held his tongue with her.
"Let's get back," he grunted to his friends and rode his bronze bird away. The others followed suit but then one of them came up behind me and slapped Pisey on her backside before taking off.
My Ashva wailed in surprise. I lost my grip then fell off the horseback.
"Nikita!"
I had a moment of panic when I slipped into the open space and screamed on my way down. My cries echoed in the air.
I thought I was going to fall to my death, but a pair of arms scooped me up. Kesar's face emerged from the corner of my eyes. She had her wings extended wide behind her back. I forgot about the shock as soon as I saw my maiden again.
"Kesar!" I gasped.
"My lady, hold fast to me," she said.
I found myself clinging to her neck as she made a slow descent. Her wings flapped rapidly once we neared the landing, causing the dust to twirl about us.
Kesar folded her wings back and put me down on my feet, but our arms still wrapped around each other.
I wanted to apologize to her about everything, but my thoughts seemed to run in all directions.
"How are you, my lady?" Kesar asked in concern.
"Thank you for saving me," I said at last.
As we stood there, I could feel her cottony feathers brushing against me. With a feeling of relief and gratitude, I hugged her tightly in my arms then I pulled back. The winged maiden blinked at me.
Then we heard Atith’s voice from above.
"Don't die yet, Nikita! We're coming for you!"
Our team flew down with their Ashvas as fast as they could.
Kesar and I pulled away from each other.
"I'm fine!" I called back to them. They landed and rushed towards me.
"Are you alright?" Tepi asked. Pisey galloped behind, whinnying. I patted her white snout reassuringly.
"I'm alright, everyone," I said. "Kesar saved my life."
"I swear to the gods, one day, I will kick Issarak’s behind," Atith said, gritting his teeth. "He shall pay for his crime."
"Count me in, Atith," Tusita said. "And may the fleas of a thousand monkeys infest his armpits!"
"Let us get Nikita some rest," Tepi suggested. "She looks too pale in complexion from the shock."
I realized that I was still wobbly from the fall. Kesar wrapped her arms around my waist, helping me to the Main Pavilion. The avatars let their winged horses run loose to the sky again. They would come to us when we needed them. The Ashvas were not earthbound after all.
"I feel better, Kesar," I said to the maiden. "You don't have to help me walk anymore."
"As you wish," she said and released me, looking crestfallen. I didn't mean to make her feel unwanted, so I held her hand in mine instead. The Kennari didn't seem too accustomed to the gesture, but her face brightened again as she remained silent.
Then we heard the conch shell from the pavilion. We looked up and saw the two Queens had arrived. They were assisted by their palace maids up the stairs. But a chill went through my stomach like spikes of ice when I saw Amarisa with them. Her face held high as she stared straight ahead as if she didn't even notice me there.
And a look on her face bothered me.
CHAPTER 23
The Queens stayed at the Elephant Terrace until noon, but Amarisa left quite early and did not join our lunch at the Pavilion. I was sad and had a gnawing feeling that her leaving had something to do with me.
I did my other routines around the encampment throughout the evening with no hint of joy. My avatar friends thought I was upset over what had happened with Issarak earlier, and I didn't have the heart to tell them otherwise.
When I was in the stable, making sure Pisey was comfortable with her new life on earth, a palace maid appeared to me. She handed me a small palm leaf and bowed away. I stared at it in wonder and flipped the stiff brown leaf open. Some elegant letterings were scribbled over it.
It was a note I later realized, but even with a great concentration, I could only decipher one word, which was 'tonight'. Still, the message didn't make any sense. I thought of asking Tepi for help but decided against it.
"My lady?" Kesar's sweet voice called me from behind. "Are you ready to get back to the Palace?"
I turned to her, weighing the option in my mind.
"What's the matter?" she said, staring at me. Her eyes drifted to my hand, which was holding the letter. "Something bothers you, my lady?"
I nodded at last.
"This talking leaf," I said with a helpless shrug and gave the note to her. "Can you tell me what it says?"
She took it in her hand and read it for a moment. A confused look registered on her face but soon it cleared away. She turned to me again with a small smile.
"The message merely says, 'the Asoak Garden tonight'."
My heart did a somersault for I now knew who had sent it. Kesar seemed to read my expression and returned the note to me.
"I think you ought to go," she said in a knowing tone. "She must have something important to tell you."
Kesar tried to smile, but her eyes were dimmed and dull. It was unthinkable that I did not touch her and hold her again and tell her I loved her, too. But I was deeply in love with the princess, and I must keep her ever in my heart.
Kesar understood without me saying a word. She turned away, but I wrapped my arms around her from behind and we stood there in silence.
We both knew that no word felt right.
~*~
The sky was a pale violet dome as the sun was gone. The stars were small and faint through the dark clouds. As my feet kept moving towards the hidden garden, I sniffed the air, which was filled with fragrance. I felt extra clean and fresh. Kesar had helped me getting dressed and ready. She tied my messy blonde hair neatly and anointed my skin.
I almost reached the mouth of the lively haven, but a troop of palace guards came to block my path.
"Where are you going, strange girl?" they asked.
"I'm going to the Asoak Garden," I said nervously.
"You cannot enter the sacred garden," one of the men said.
Two of them came to grab my arms, intending to steer me away from my destination.
"Wait, wait!" I said. “I have permission!”
“No one is permitted there,” the same man said. “The place is unspoiled and only for the holy beings.”
“Well, then you must let me go, because I am the holy one,” I said out of desperation.
They turned to each other with a questioning look. Suddenly, another guard came running to us. He spoke softly to the others.
"She is friends of the avatars. We should to allow her access or all our heads could be gone."
After a moment, they released me at last.
"Our apologies, Your Holiness. We're too blind to see in the dark," they said with a bow. "You may pass and be well on your way."
I stepped around them stiffly and continued my journey to the garden.
Once I reac
hed the forbidden garden, my nerves raged again.
I gripped my satchel with one hand while the other held the instrument of the heart. I entered the garden and walked along the footpath. It snaked towards where the flowers erupted in the cracks of stones.
It was quiet, and I could almost hear my heart thumping in my chest.
Soon the gray boulder came into view. Its ghostly shadow cast over the trickling creek. All around me was laden by waxen stems of white and pink blooms.
I climbed atop the boulder and glanced over the garden with anticipated eyes. It was peaceful and soothing, but nothing could calm my pounding heart.
I decided to sit down and wait.
The first hour of the night slipped away in silence. I inhaled the sweet heavy scent of the fertile earth.
Is she coming? I thought. I wasn't sure. She might have changed her mind. Another long moment later, I still didn't catch a glimpse of Amarisa.
With a long sigh, I picked up my musical instrument. It was light and small. I struck a few notes I knew best. The lovely sounds comforted me. I continued strumming a few more notes in loneliness. The air grew cold as the sky turned dark. My body began to shiver yet I determined to stay until Amarisa showed herself to me.
Suddenly, I heard a male voice. A powerful sweet voice speaking very softly that the words felt like my own thoughts. I stopped playing and looked around me, but I saw no one.
''You must be the one. Your innocent young heart is now infected with my sweet potion,' the voice echoed in my head.
I could not see who was speaking, but I felt the tone pressed hummingly upon me as if I was in front of a bronze gong.
"Who's there?" I asked, feeling the panic rise inside my stomach. "Show yourself!"
The musical voice chuckled.
Then a gust of gold dust burst out from above my head. I recoiled in surprise.
Hovering in front of me was a young man. His skin was a light shade of green. He had a pair of brilliant white wings on his back.
I got onto my feet and rubbed my eyes to make sure I didn't fall asleep without knowing.
"Be calm, young one. I am not here to harm you," the flying man said with a warm yet mischievous smile. I stared at him with wide eyes.
"What are you?" I found my voice again.
"What am I?" He chuckled again. His voice was like a song. "I am a god, my dear. I am the one who stirs up your desire and flourishes your longing. Everyone knows me by the name of Kama, the god of love and passion."
"A love god?"
The god laughed again. He seemed to be so fond of laughing. Kama floated over and landed on the rock beside me. I went stiff like a board, looking at his strange appearance.
"Yes, that I am. I inspired the famous Kamasutra if you haven't heard of me," he said with a proud smile. "Now I shall have a few words with you if you don't mind."
"You want to talk to me? Why?"
The god gestured for me to sit down again. I obediently followed. He pulled out a long bow from behind his folded wings. The beautiful shaft was made of sugarcane and strung with humming honeybees. Then he showed me his quiver, which had five flower-tipped arrows in it.
"Let me explain how you come to feel the way you feel," he said. "I make people fall in love, gods and mortals, by shooting them through their beating hearts with my powerful arrows."
"So it was you all along!" I said as I finally understood.
Kama nodded.
"It is my holy duty along with the Fate. I play a very important role in every story you know of," he said. "Once I inspired the love of Shiva and Uma, Rama and Sita, and Krishna and his eight glorious wives. And now it is your turn."
"What? But why, my lord?" I said, trying not to sound angry. "Why did you do it to me? I was normal before I came here. Now I feel stupid and needy and wild with passion, and it's all your fault!"
"My arrows are only effective when the urge is there. They enhance the five senses of romance. You have fascinated me. What kind of a love god would I be if I missed a chance to inspire love?"
My heart sank.
"Lord Kama please, I beg you, please find a new target."
"I already did," he said. "You will love and be loved by those the Lord deems worthy in his grand theme. You do delight in the wonderful strangeness of this pain, don't you? Everyone needs Kama. Without me, people will stop yearning for one another. No marriages would be made, no babies born, and the world will grow old and dull in a day. Without love, all works cease— farmers won't plow their fields, boats and ships would crawl listlessly at sea, and fishermen would scarcely cast their nets. Even the fish would sink sullenly to the very bottom of the ocean. My duty is of great importance. I was born to please with the five floral-tipped arrows of Asoka, blue lotus, and white jasmine. Even Shiva couldn't resist the power of my bow."
As I listened to the god, I thought of Amarisa and Kesar. I also remembered what my handmaiden said about the cruel arrows.
"But what is the point of this?" I said. "I am utterly and helplessly in love with someone who doesn't soften her heart and pity me while the other one loves me with all her heart but I don’t feel the same. You must stop this cruelty game, otherwise...I...I will eat your bow!"
Kama burst out laughing and shook his head.
"Silly child, consider yourself lucky that I did not shoot you with an arrow of mango flower," he said. "Let me introduce my arrows and their purposes, and how they make you mortals loathe and crave me all at once. The first arrow would make one infatuated. The second one, when pierced through the heart, would make separation become unbearable, and one's mind and senses become agitated. The third arrow would begin to burn with extreme passion and drive a person mad. The fourth and fifth would destroy the victim, leading to suicide or death."
I stared at him, speechless. The god grinned at me and stood again. He flapped his wings then flew into the air. Plumes of gold dust curled around his body. But this time, his form transformed from a fair young man to a little boy. It struck me as odd.
"Lord Kama?" I asked. "What happened to you?"
"I was blasted to ashes twice by the Third Eye of Shiva for making him fall in love again, and my earliest form was gone since," he merely said. " Now you know why I don't always come in a clear form anymore, the same way that love is hard to define. It can be painful, fleeting and dirty or it can be innocent, sweet and pure."
A warm smile spread across his adorable childish face.
"I must go now," Kama said. "But my message to you before I leave: you can't control whom you fall for. Don't fight the heart that is poisoned by passion. I bind you to spread the word of love for among the three worlds I travel, this one needs it the most."
Then the winged god flew away and disappeared.
~*~
I continued to wait, shivering in the cold as night dew started to form. I was still thinking about what Kama had said when my isolation was disturbed by a sound of cracking twig not far away. I lifted my face and caught the same enchanting sight of my princess. She was standing on the other side of the running creek. Her beauteous person wrapped in layers of the thin nightgown. Her face was half hidden in her silk scarf as her flowing black lock flirted with the winds like a shy willow tree.
"Amarisa?" I said in a joyous relief. My heart skip so many beats seeing her face again.
The notion that Amarisa was spying on me brought me an odd feeling of pleasure. But once she realized I saw her, the princess began to turn away.
"Amarisa!" I almost cried in despair. "Please stay...don't go away."
She stopped as if frozen by a thought. Then she turned around and stepped back into the luminous ground. The princess regarded me awkwardly. I gathered my stuff and jumped off the boulder.
Amarisa walked towards the stone bridge across the small flowing stream. The moon gave off the same silvery glow like the first night we had met in this beautiful garden.
The surreal meeting almost took my breath away. I couldn't believe she was will
ing to see me again. When I reached the stone bridge, I made myself slow down and took a deep shaky breath.
The clear laughing water streamed around the glittering rocks. The moonlight shone brightly, turning the creek into a giant mirror beneath our feet. It held the trees and the pale gray sky upside down, and even the small silver trembling moon was captured in the reflection with us.
We stood for a moment at the opposite ends of the bridge. I stared at the most beautiful face I'd ever seen. With a nimbus of light around her elegant form, her face glowed. Deep down in my pumping heart, I knew I could look upon this face forever and still not be satisfied.
Amarisa dropped her gaze in shyness.
I dropped everything then willed my feet to move forward. To my surprise, the princess also walked towards me. We reached each other in the middle. She was timid as always, no doubt. Her eyes were down, gazing upon our reflections in the mirroring stream. I held my hands out to take hers.
"My princess, look at me," I said. Slowly, she bit her luscious lips and looked up.
"Why did you not leave?" Amarisa asked to my surprise. "Why are you still here?"
"I would stay here until I see you," I said.
Amarisa frowned at me.
"What if I did not come?"
"I would still wait even if I might turn to stone."
Amarisa was silent for a moment and then she sighed softly.
"My impulsive heart got the best of me," she said. "I couldn't stop myself from writing that silly note, and..." she trailed off and looked embarrassed.
"Why did you say that?" I stepped closer to her and touched her soft cheek. "I know you think of me, too. You love me dearly as I do you."
"Love you?!" Amarisa's eyes flickered in denial. "I do not!"
The princess tugged her hands away, but I gripped them back gently.
"Amarisa...don't say that, please," I said. "This life is empty if you don't want me, and I cannot bear the pain if you say 'no'."
She stared at me. I saw a spark of suppressed longing burning within those dark stirring eyes. Yet the light dimmed back as she blinked and turned her face away to conceal it. Then I understood, secretly that she didn't even admit it to herself, she did marvel over my passion for her.
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