Daughter of the Naga

by Svetlana Ivanova

  We returned to the Royal Palace again. The atmosphere had now returned to some semblance of normality after last night. Kesar flung open the chamber doors for us. The princess would have stayed with me, but the demand for her attendance to her sick mother prevented her. I did not want to delay her, and so she and the avatars soon left me with a promise to come back again as early as they could.

  I sensed something about their not mentioning of the older Queen's condition to me. It hinted that the illness that had befallen her was probably serious.

  My morbid mind brooded over many things. Then Kesar sat me on the well-made bed. There she pulled off the curtains and brought out some clean clothes, which the fair maiden made by her skillful hands. With lithe fingers, Kesar set to remove my clothes as always, but I softly brushed her hands aside.

  "It's fine, Kesar, I can do it," I said and proceeded to unclothe myself. The maiden's concerned eyes laid on me as she was seized by pity and haunting silence.

  She waited until I was done.

  "You have met the Spirit, have you not, my lady?" Kesar said. One of her hands went to clasp my knee, the other placed on my cheek. The gesture made me look back at her. "Something told me that the encountering wasn't just the healing of your wound. It seems to me as if you'd gone in and come back a different person."

  I sighed.

  "The Naga Spirit did come to me," I told her. "She was goddess-like in look as though she was still living. She granted me the drink of sparkling water, which revived me instantly. But the Naga maiden also told me about her past. Her human lover and many other things."

  "What things?"

  "She warned me of a similar prediction," I said. "But this time is about Amarisa."

  "What does the prediction hold for her, my lady?"

  I shook my head.

  "She implied rather than directly told me that if I drop my doomed relationship with the King's daughter, I will save the inevitable day when the cruel Fate comes to reap what I sow."

  "Oh my lady, that sounds terrible,” Kesar breathed. “Is that why it leaves you to wear yourself out with misery?"

  The winged-maiden shook her head with a grave look.

  "Amarisa is her reincarnation, Kesar," I said, causing her eyes to widen in surprise. "The thread of the destiny has linked her with a prophesied disaster, and we shouldn't enjoy each other's company any longer."

  With that said, I sighed a deep anguished sigh. I laid myself down on the bed with my back turned, so that the drops of my tears would roll off my cheeks unnoticed.

  For a long moment, I felt Kesar's eyes on me, but then she finally let me be. The Kennari covered me with a soft blanket and took my old garment away before quitting the room.

  I lay there on the soft bedding with gathering sadness. I was wondering how my mother was and every single matter that spun like cobwebs in my mind.

  ~*~

  At last the sun drew down, casting twilight over the treetops, where the varied assemblage of the sweet-singing birds rested. I was no longer able to wait and must rise again. Kesar pleaded me to stay, but time folded in on itself, closing over me and burying me. Just before I reached suffocation, Vorac and Atith arrived.

  "The Queen is conscious and asking for you," Vorac spoke first.

  My eyes widened. I did not know my mother had been in the state of heavy slumber all this time. This had not lightened my heavy heart, and without another time wasted, we left together.

  The Palace was eerily quiet and deprived of the usual enthralling songs. After the long walk through the endless halls and cruciforms, we reached a secluded ashram where the older Queen stayed.

  Then we went inside the smaller hall towards a chamber. There I saw my mother. She was resting limply on the bed attended by palace women.

  All the avatars were there. They sat in two opposite rows on the wooden floor. Tepi, Raksa, Tusita, Morokot and Samudra on the left. Issarak and Ravi along with their friends on the right. The Aswin brothers had taken their place with the Guru and the Hora. We saw the King and his second wife sitting around the bed with the sleeping woman. Amarisa was among the royal members.

  Vorac and Atith went to their reserved places. Everyone looked at me. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I went forward and knelt before the monarchs. Some palace maids put a soft rug for me to kneel on, but I ignored it.

  "Please," I said. "Please, tell me how Queen Jayara is doing. Is she alright?"

  At the sound of my voice, my mother slowly opened her eyes. She turned her head to me, and I wanted so much to rush to her side, but I refrained myself.

  Then Queen Jayara made a movement of getting up, in which her husband quickly came to assist her.

  I was shocked to see how frail she was. My mother's usual bun was undone, letting her long black lock flow down her thin shoulders. No more immaculate hair and clothing. The Queen tried to smile at me once she was properly in a seated position. My heart fell like a rock tumbling down the desert hill. The avatars were staring at me, but I didn't pay attention to any of them.

  "How are you, mothe..." I stopped myself before I could say the word. "How are you, Your Majesty?"

  Queen Jayara smiled weakly and shook her head back.

  "Sweet child, I am glad to see you coming back all healthy and fine," she spoke in a low exhausted voice. "Don't you worry about me, dear one. The sickness of old age is expected and normal. It is nothing to fear."

  I briefly glanced around as if to seek for confirmation.

  "The twins have given her good herb and restoring drink," the King said, probably noticing my deep concerned face. "The rest of the recovery will depend on time."

  "It is because of me you have fallen ill, my Queen," I said. "I am so guilty to cause you this much suffering."

  My mother shook her head again, but before she could speak, her body was overcome by a coughing fit

  "Bring her some water," her younger sister ordered the maids.

  "That is truly your fault!" Issarak sneered at me. "Look at what state you put her through! The blessed gods must be so bitterly angry that they plunged this illness upon her form."

  His words had stung me to the heart. I lowered my head.

  "Enough of that, Issarak!" Tusita bellowed. "Let no more hateful words escape your mouth. You have no place to judge her as though she was lesser and of ignoble birth. You should be ashamed of yourself for bearing the blood of a god yet act like a disgraceful fool. Keep your mouth shut for the sake of the Queen, who is ill, or else I shall shut it for you!"

  Issarak gave a frustrated growl, but he couldn't seem to find a response.

  "Calm down, my avatars," this time the warrior King spoke. "I know you are all concerned about my Queen, but let not fight among us as the battle within is far more lethal. I am in debt and honor to have you, children of the gods. You are here to save the heaven-blessed city, a sacred land and second home of the immortals, however, I must request each of you god-born to keep peace among yourselves and quarrel yet no more."

  There was a weighty silence after the words of the King were uttered. No one said anything.

  "May I request your company with us alone, dear Nikita?" Queen Indradevi said to my surprise.

  There was something in her queenly tone that made Amarisa's eyes dart to mine. Her mother saw it as she always did with everything else. Everyone remained still for a moment before they understood and began to leave the hall. My friends gave me a curious glance as they were leaving and so did Issarak.

  "Amarisa dear," the younger Queen turned to her daughter. "You must be tired and must retreat to your chamber now."

  "But mother..."

  "Please, my dear," Queen Indradevi said again. Amarisa nodded. Her face showed worries as she stood and walked out of the hall. The princess seemed to linger for a moment before finally leaving through the doors.

  Now there were just the four of us. The King turned to his two wives then back at me.

  "Nikita, friends among the avatars, you have gra
ced us with your presence chosen by the Great Lord," he said. "There is no one in the world whom I shall trust more than I do you. If you shall indeed succeed what you have been destined to, we too must make you an offer. Tell me clearly, young one, in what manner do you perceive my only daughter?"

  I was stunned by the King's forward question. The silence went on and on, breathless, like a musical string overreaching its final tone.

  Just as my mother leaned forward to intervene, I decided to speak, "Of a truth, your majesty, all things in the world pale in comparison to your daughter. Her voice is sweeter than heavenly songs. Her stately moves surpass all graceful dance. It is my heart that is surely excited by the curve of her neck and the gleam in her eyes. But there are more that I could not fathom into words for such emotions are rare even to me. I might lose my life saying all this to you now, but I have no fear nor regret in stating this honest truth. Yes, I am in love with your daughter."

  The King took a long look at me and then he turned to his second wife. Queen Indradevi bowed a little to both her husband and older sister before addressing me again.

  "I named my daughter 'Amarisa', because we too value our daughter above all gems and possessions, above all else that exists on earth. She is heaven to us. And we will not let anything threatens to dull her light," she said calmly, probably trying not to frighten me. "It is our duty as parents to provide all the worldly comfort and happiness to her. We have no objection to your feelings towards our Amarisa, but this matter is not to be considered in haste. There are other things that come to my concerns."

  "I do understand what you mean," I said. "I am a girl and not godly and powerful. You must be troubled by this."

  "No,” she said. “It’s not that, my dear. Although you are wise in hiding yourself, I have to be wiser still in finding you," Queen Indradevi said with a small trace of a smile. I looked up at her in confusion.

  "What do you mean?"

  "We know who you are," the younger Queen said solemnly. "My sister has told us the truth. You are gravely wrong to think you're not special."

  I looked at my mother, who sent me a nod of reassurance.

  "It's best to let us know we're family," she simply said.

  "What about Amarisa?" I asked.

  "She is not aware of this yet," my mother answered me. "But one day, she will, Nikita, the truth is unavoidable."

  "I know, mother," I sighed.

  "We have spoken about you and my daughter," the King said. "If your feelings is true, then I and my Queens will have to take care of some important arrangement."

  "What arrangement?"

  "As you might remember, we had left the capital a while back to another city," he said. "One of the kings under my authority has a Kumara, a crown prince, who is finally ready for marriage. He held huge tact of the ripest southern lands, which give supplies to our kingdom every year. Their army is guarding the south of our empire. He knows of our dependence and has proposed for Amarisa's hand."

  A tremendous shock went through me, shattering my thoughts. I felt like blown debris in the sea trying to float back together. My hands turned sweaty and my heart pounded. I thought I was going to faint, and I had to summon back my strength to speak again.

  "Does...does she know about it?"

  "No, we have not told her yet," the King said quietly. I did not respond for a long time and just stared at the smooth floor, unblinking. The monarchs exchanged a look. Queen Indradevi cleared her throat a little before she spoke.

  "We will inform the king later that we want no marriages," she said, but I surprised her by shaking my head in disagreement. I knew it was supposed to be this way. My heart was cursing, bleeding and searing every nerve of my being, to stop me from my own intention. This was the nightmare that I dreaded, that one day, Amarisa would be taken from me, but there was no waking to relieve myself of it. I forced my mind to shut off the burning pain like hot knives against flesh.

  "I believe this is what best for her, Your Majesty," I said, jaw clenched from sorrow and raging anguish. "We all know she will continue your lineage and the kingdom will go on flourishing. Amarisa deserves a better life. She needs someone who is unstained..."

  "Daughter!" my mother gasped, her voice trembled with effort. "What has possessed your mind into this self-loathe thinking?"

  "No, mother," I said. "Don't pity me. You haven't heard the rest of what I have done."

  The shame and guilt gripped me in its tight fist again. I took a deep ragged breath before I continued.

  "May I ask you for one favor, Your Majesties?" I went on without stopping. "After the Great Game is over, may you grant me the privilege to have Amarisa's company until her wedding day is set? I promise nothing inappropriate shall be born from this. It is for memory's sake only."

  "I am shocked to hear what you just said," the King spoke with a deeper frown. "Why did you make such bitter decision for yourself?"

  "I did not make this decision alone, my King," I said as I raised my face to them and saw the three royals looking at me with conflicted emotions.

  I felt my tears pooling like burning lava in my eyes. I told them everything about the Naga Spirit. I told them with precise details and left no doubt to question. My mother began to weep bitterly in the arms of her younger sister. Soon they all understood why I chose to end it this way. There was hardly any chance for me with my beloved princess. Not in this life.

  "I am safe only at the mercy of Fate," I said. "Memory is all I can hope to spin from our entangled destiny. I am blissful to have met you all and be endowed with your kindness and hospitality. The least I could do is to save Amarisa from me. Now I have said what I ought to say. I hope you agree with me."

  "If that is what you wish, then we shall oblige to it," Queen Indradevi said with a sigh. "May your sacrifice satisfy your heart. May it not be fruitless."

  With that said, the younger Queen came and took my hands. I rose to meet her eyes, all flickered with deep compassion and empathy. I gave her a nod.

  Then my mother opened her arms, urging me to come to her. I did and we embraced one another in sorrow. No one spoke. In the deep silence, all I heard was the cry of wild birds like mourning songs to haunt the bleak cold night.

  CHAPTER 49

  I stayed at the ashram with my mother all night. The King and his second wife left to let us talk in privacy. I started confessing to my mother about my disgraceful sins. How I was brought to the celestial city of Amaravati during the first game and laying with Goddess Kemira. My unfortunate encounter with Queen Sovannmacha, whom I violated with my foolishness in order to win the second game. I also confessed about my affair with my own handmaiden Kesar.

  Reliving the memories, I felt my heart crumbling and failing.

  "Now you know, I am unworthy of the kindness and honor you do me," I said. The older Queen heaved a long sigh.

  "My dear child, if there is a fault in your actions, surely it all belongs to me," she whispered with unwavering compassion. "You and the other children are mere victims of my own doing. It was your mother alone, who has brought you this misfortunes."

  "No, mother, do not say so. What you have done is for the greater good." I shook my head as I knelt beside her bed. My throat still burned with the hot lump and tears. "Now what I care above all is Amarisa's happiness."

  "Nikita, sweet child of mine, if only you saw her the night before, you would understand her need of you,” she said. “She would have gone weeping until she had wallowed herself impotent. Our Amarisa would no longer desire to see the rising of the moon nor the sun had you not been revived."

  "But I won't change my mind, mother!" I said, shaking my head. "I wish the Naga Spirit hadn't brought me back! I would prefer a gloomy world below where I would be buried under the pile of my sins. Amarisa’s tears are precious like pearls to me, but I have done inexcusable deeds, and I want no torment to befall her heart. The Fate showered me nothing but forthcoming doom. Tell me, mother, why should I give Amarisa, the princess of my
own heart, the same despair?"

  "O Nikita, my poor girl," my mother wept and reached out to encompass me in her arms. "My deep sorrow for your pains. How I pity you beyond words."

  ~*~

  Through the long night, as I lay awake in my own bed, I tried harder to cast away the thoughts of Amarisa. In the midst of that effort, a dread leaped up like a leopard, threatening to devour me whole.

  I knew what I had decided would cause us both a great heartache.

  Never once in my life had I experienced this unshakeable hopelessness. The Fate had forced me to choose the path that suited its own convenience. Everything had been predetermined by an internal power cleverly camouflaged as my free will. Each decision was a mere bait thrown in front of my path to lure me into behaving the way I wasn't meant to.

  The morning turned pale gold. The birds shook themselves in the hedges, all arose and chirruped when the sun hung over the mountains. Amarisa came to my chamber shortly after dawn broke.

  "My lady is still sleeping, Your Highness," Kesar's voice drifted from the door. I didn't hear what the princess was saying to her, but not long after, I heard Amarisa entered the room. With my eyes still closed, I could smell her like a flower in bloom.

  Her weight settled on the silk-covered bed beside my sleeping form. There was a moment of profound silence, and I could feel her tender gaze on me.

  I remembered in a rush all the sweet things we had said and done together. I feared that this perfect euphoria would be broken if I moved, and I would turn everything to stone. Yet a cloak of pale sadness still came to encase my heart for the love I cherished so dearly was coming to an end.

  I felt Amarisa's nimble fingers smoothing the hair off my forehead. The gesture was soon followed by a gentle kiss on my lips. She watched me sleeping for a while, not doing anything else.

  At last, I opened my eyes to see that lovely face as beautiful as a celestial maiden herself. I smiled in greeting and savored the miracle of being able to look at her openly like this. I wanted to enjoy the light that gleamed from those eyes and the red curves of those lips. It melted my heart to see her, but it also made me secretly weep in silent pain.