Forever and Always

by Beverley Hollowed

  “Eh Pizza” Melanie replied and laughed as Jamie fist pumped the air with delight.

  While they all demolish the pizza and a couple of bottles of wine, Sarah asked was it ok if she put on some music. She got up and slid her IPod into the dock on the side board and switched it on. Seconds later the sound of Neil Diamond’s “Hello again” filled the room. Melanie couldn’t breath as the words washed over her. She missed Sam so much she thought the pain in her heart might actually kill her.

  She tried hard to concentrate on her pizza but she couldn’t force another bite down passed the huge knot of grief that was in her chest and was almost choking her.

  Alex’s watched her daughter as he could see her heart break visibly etched across her face. He looked at Grace and she nodded confirming she too could see it and she shook her head and nodded towards Sarah letting Alex know not to say anything in front of Sarah.

  After a few more songs Sarah announced she going home to get some beauty sleep. She kissed Melanie and promised she would be around bright and early to help her get ready.

  After they left Grace called it a night too and ushered a very unhappy Jamie up the stairs ahead of her leaving Alex and Melanie alone.

  “You want more wine” Alex asked holding up half empty bottle of wine.

  “Sure” Melanie said holding out her glass. When Alex poured them both out a glass he suggested they go and make themselves comfy on the sofa in the living room.

  Melanie mentally prepared herself for another Q&A session with her Dad but instead he knocked on the TV and pressed play on the DVD. Melanie was surprised to see her favourite movie Independence Day begin on the screen.

  “I just thought that seems as after tomorrow you’ll be married” he explains. “I don’t know when we will get to watch our movie together again”. Melanie smiled and snuggled down on the sofa to watch the movie. She remembered the first time she saw it. She was about ten or eleven and she bought it on video for her Dad for his birthday. She was spending the night at his apartment. It was just before he met Grace. He bought ice-cream and made popcorn and they curled up on the sofa and watched the movie twice.

  That was why she loved the movie so much. It always reminded her of her Dad. She thought about the last time she watched it in her Dad house. It was the night her Dad had caught her with Mike. The memory of their argument made her feel sad. She thought about how hurt she was but how wrong she had been about her Dad.

  She wondered that maybe if she hadn’t had that fight with Alex, she wouldn’t have gone to stay with Maggie and she would have never met Sam. How different would her life would have been if she hadn’t have met him. Maybe she would have still met Simon but maybe she would have loved him back.

  But the truth was she was glad she had met Sam. The time she spent with him had been the best times of her life and she would treasure those memories and try to forget about the sad times they shared.

  “Penny for your thoughts” Alex said as he watched his daughter closely.

  “Was just thinking of Simon” she lied. She was getting so good at lying it scared her a little.

  “You know you could call him” Alex said nervously.

  “I think he was going for a drink with his Dad and brother tonight” she replied. “I don’t want to disturb him”.

  “I meant Sam” he corrected her.

  “Why would I do that” she replied trying to keep her voice as steady as she possible could.

  “Because you still love him” he replied. “And tomorrow you are making the biggest mistake of your life”.

  “I don’t want to talk about it” she snapped putting empty glass down on the table. She got up off the sofa and headed towards the door. “I am going to bed, goodnight”.

  “Melanie” he said getting up and standing in her way. “Why do you always run?”

  “I don’t always run” she snapped.

  “You do” he replied. “Ever since you were a little kid you always ran and locked yourself away. You never faced your problems”.

  “That is so unfair” Melanie shot back angrily.

  “It’s the truth” Alex replied. “When things get too hard you hide away and refuse to talk about it. You did that back then with me, then you did it with Sam and now you are doing it again. You are using this excuse about having children to push him away. But you never gave him a chance. Don’t you think the love he feels for you might be greater than his desire to have a family. Love doesn’t have to come with conditions Melanie. I know your heart was broken by what happened but that doesn’t make you any self entitled to be loved. I know it’s hard that you can’t have babies and I get so angry at how unfair it is. But none of this is your fault. You have to stop punishing yourself and blaming yourself”.

  “I don’t know any other way to deal with things” she cried. “When I was little I spent so long trying to be this perfect kid because I didn’t want you ever to regret having me. I never fought for anything I wanted because I was always afraid of being a disappointment to you and Mom. So I did the piano lesson’s I hated because I knew it made Mom happy. And I took Karate lesson’s even though I hated them because I knew it made you happy. I never wanted to be someone that other people felt they were stuck with. And when you said that having a baby would ruin my life. All I could think of was it didn’t matter what I did because you still regretted having me”.

  “Melanie how could you even think that” Alex asked. “I have never regretted having you. Not for a single moment of my life. I am so proud of you and I love you”.

  “I know you do Dad” Melanie replied. “But you’re my Dad. Sam isn’t and how do I know if I told him the truth he won’t end up regretting getting stuck with someone who can’t give him a child of his own”.

  “How do you know he will” Alex asked.

  “I guess I don’t” Melanie replied sadly. “But it doesn’t matter now anyway because he is gone and he doesn’t want me anymore. Simon heard he quit his job and he returned to the States. So I guess I will never know now”.

  “Do you want to know?” Alex asked. Melanie just shrugged her shoulders.

  “I am going to go to bed” she said and kissed Alex on the cheek. “Have a big day tomorrow”.

  “Fine” Alex sighed and hugged his daughter tightly. “Goodnight Kiddo”.

  “Goodnight Dad” Melanie replied and headed to her room.

  As she lay there she thought about Sam. She wondered where he was and if he was thinking of her. When she closed her eyes she could see him so clearly in her head. She could almost smell his wonderful scent and feel his tender touch. She longed for him so much it was literally killing her. She turned over and buried her face in her pillow and softly cried herself to sleep yet again.

  Chapter 27Melanie woke up the next morning to her find her mother sitting on the side of her bed.

  “Wake up sleepy head” Sarah said as she brushed the hair back from Melanie’s face. “We are going to be late for the hair dressers. You have time for a quick shower before we have to leave”.

  “Ok” Melanie said as she reluctantly pulled back her duvet and climbed out of the bed.

  “Are you ok sweetie?” Sarah asked her voice filled with concern.

  “Yeah I’m fine. Just a little tired” She lied. Wow she was becoming expert at it now. “I didn’t sleep very well. You know nerves and all”.

  “That is very natural Mel” Sarah said and kissed her on the forehead. “But you have a good one in Simon and I couldn’t be happier for you”.

  Melanie smiled and headed towards the bathroom and climbed into the shower. She stood under the water and prayed for the strength to get her through this day.

  After her shower she returned to her room and quickly dressed in leggings and a soft cotton top with buttons down the front as instructed by her Mom. Insisting she needed to wear something that didn’t have to be taken off over her hair.

  When she was dressed she found her mother, Grace and Katie in a flap in the kitche
n.

  “Hey Mel” Katie greeted Melanie when she walked into the kitchen.

  “Hey” Melanie replied. Melanie wasn’t really sure how she felt about Katie if she was honest. She was angry with her for telling her secret to Sam but more than that she was angry she hid the fact she had even been talking to him. She knew Katie had acted with the best of intentions but it didn’t really offer her any comfort.

  When Melanie told Lucy about the fact Katie had not only seen Sam but told him about the baby Lucy was furious with Katie. But Melanie made her promise she would say anything because she didn’t want Katie to know what had happened between her and Sam. Lucy reluctantly agreed.

  “Where is Dad” Melanie asked Grace.

  “He just popped down to the shop for something. Said he wouldn’t be long. Mind you that was about an hour ago”. She replied.

  “Is Jamie with him” Melanie asked.

  “No he is gone with Tom to deliver the button holes to the church” Grace explained and smiled. “It’s all hand on deck today”.

  “We should be going” Sarah announced clapping her hands impatiently. Melanie looked at Grace and rolled her eyes.

  “I thought it was meant to Bridezilla, not mother of the Bridezilla “she whispered when Sarah was out of earshot and Grace burst into a fit of laughter.

  Melanie, Grace and Katie dutifully followed Sarah out the door and towards the car. Melanie was surprised to see Lucy getting out of Alex’s car. When her eyes met Lucy’s, Melanie was surprised when Lucy blushed. Immediately her curiosity was peaked. Before she could asked what was going on she was ushered into her Mom’s car and the rest were ordered to, as Sarah put it. “Get their useless asses in the car or there would be blood spilt”.

  “You are very quiet” Grace said to Melanie as the say next to each other in front of the hairdresser’s stations”. Melanie was relieved that Sarah was placed the furthest away from her. She really didn’t know how much of her Mom she was going to be able to take before she snapped and told her in no uncertain terms where to go.

  “Well it’s kind of hard to get a word in with Mom?” Melanie replied ad smiled nervously. She didn’t fancy another round of questions about her and Sam.

  “True” Grace nodded in agreement. “But I don’t think it’s just that. And you know, I know I am not your Mom but I always thought of you as kind of my daughter too. If you need to talk I can be a good shoulder. I won’t ever judge”.

  “Thanks Grace” Melanie replied, truly touched by what she said. She had never thought about her and Grace’s relationship before but it dawned on Melanie. She considered Grace one of her parents too. She wasn’t just her Dad’s wife the way Tom was her Mom’s husband. “You know you mean a lot to me too. I always thought I was lucky to have three amazing parents, not just two”.

  Grace reached over and Melanie took her hand and she squeezed it and in that moment both women knew exactly what they each meant to each other.

  An hour later Melanie climbed out of her Mom’s car and was greeted by Jamie who told her she looked kind of weird.

  “You looked pretty on top but I don’t think the crown goes with your leggings” He explained.

  “It’s called a tiara” Lucy explained and ruffled Jamie’s hair. “Wait till you see her in her dress, she will look like a princess”. Jamie scrunched up is face and ran away.

  The house was a hive of activity and Melanie found it all a little over whelming. In a rare moment when Sarah wasn’t barking orders to her to do one thing or another, she quietly slipped up the stairs and into her bedroom and slumped down on the bed. God she was already exhausted and the day hadn’t even started yet. Her gaze fell on her dress which was now hanging on her wardrobe door. It was everything she had ever dreamed of but in her dreams it was always Sam that would be standing in the front of the church waiting on her.

  “Here you are” Lucy said making her jump as she poked her head around the door. She stepped in and closed the door behind her quietly. She sat down on the bed next to Melanie and took her hand. “How are you doing Missus?”

  “Mom is wrecking my head” Melanie laughed and sighed. “But otherwise I am good”.

  “Ok” Lucy sighed and nudged Melanie with her shoulder. “Now tell me how you are really feeling”.

  “I honestly don’t know how I feel” Melanie said sadly. “In my heart I really though he would have at least called. But I guess it’s really over now. He really doesn’t want me”.

  “Why don’t you call him” Lucy asked.

  “And say what” Melanie cried. “Hey Sam I am planning on marrying a man I don’t really love at 2 o’clock today but, I was just wondering if you had any better offers”.

  “Well maybe not those exact word” Lucy laughed. “But maybe something along those lines”.

  “I need to just face it Lucy” Melanie sighed deeply. “I missed my chance. It’s too late”.

  Suddenly Melanie could hear her Mom calling her name sounding almost like a woman possessed.

  “Grant me patients” she groaned and shoots Lucy a big smile. “I am going to kill this woman today”.

  By 1 o’clock the house was heaving with some close friends and families. Melanie was deposited away up into her room and instructed that her bridesmaid would be with here to help her get dressed.

  Finally Katie and Lucy both arrived in Melanie’s room dressed in their deep purple knee length brides maid dresses with a straight cut bust line and spaghetti straps. Melanie had left them to decide on the dresses themselves and apparently after several arguments they settled on these dresses and Melanie loved them.

  “Wow you both look amazing” she exclaimed as they both took turns giving her a little twirl. She produced two small velvet boxes and handed each of the girls one each. They both opened them and found a pair of diamond studs.

  “Oh my God Melanie” Lucy exclaimed. “They are amazing”.

  “They are real” Katie cried and threw her arms around Melanie’s neck and in that moment Melanie forgave her for what happened with Sam. She knew her friend only did what she thought was the best thing to do. “They must have cost a fortune”.

  “Whatever the cost you two are worth it” Melanie replied and smiled but she could feel the tears begin to pool in her eyes. “You guys have been there for me through some pretty shit things and you never once complained. You were my two shining lights. I would have been so lost without you both”.

  “Don’t start with the water works” Lucy said and brushed tears from her own eyes. “I know the makeup girl said this mascara was water proof but let’s not try it out just yet”.

  The two girls finally helped Melanie into her dress and were just about finished when Sarah appeared at the door.

  “Oh God” she exclaimed as her hand flew to her mouth and her eyes filled with unshed tears. “You look simple stunning”.

  “Thanks Mom” Melanie replied and smile and for the first time today it was a genuine smile.

  “We should leave you alone” Lucy said nudging Katie towards the door.

  “Can you go and get Alex girls” Sarah said as the girls walked out the door then she turned back to Melanie again and hugged her tightly. “I can’t believe my baby has grown into such a beautiful young woman”.

  “Thanks Mom” Melanie replied. “Must be good genes because you look beautiful too” Sarah was dressed in a soft green two piece suit with a beautiful cream silk top underneath.

  There was a light knock on the door.

  “That will be your Dad” Sarah said as she walked towards the door. “I think I will leave you two alone. She opened the door and stepped out before Alex walked into the room and stop dead when he saw Melanie.

  “You are stunning” he said as he stood and looked at Melanie in awe. “I have never been prouder then I am right at this moment”. Finally he kissed Melanie’s cheek and then hugged her tightly.

  “Thanks Daddy” Melanie replied. “You look pretty handsome yourself in your suit”. />
  “I like that” Alex replied. “It’s been too long since I last heard you call me that”.

  Melanie smiled and Alex held out his arm to Melanie.

  “Are you ready” he said with a smiled that Melanie really didn’t think she would see from him today.

  “Yep” she replied and took a deep breath. Alex lead her from the bedroom she had spent so many nights in as a kid and down the stairs to everyone one who were all waiting patiently for their first glimpse of the bride. There was a course of oohs and aahs and an explosion of flashes as everyone tried to get a picture of her. She spent the next fifteen minutes posing for what seemed like a million photographs.

  Then finally the crowd started to leave and make their way towards the church. The first car arrived to take Sarah, Grace, Katie, Lucy and Jamie to the church. Lucy hung back as the others made the way to the car and she turned to Melanie and smiled at her but the tears were dancing in her eyes. She hugged Melanie tightly for a few moments more then she should and when she released her the tears were freely trickling down her face.

  “I love you Melanie O’Leary” Lucy sniffed. “I hope you find your happiness”.

  Then she hugged her one more time before she headed out the door and left Melanie alone with her father.

  “That was weird” she said as they watched the car pull away from the front of the house.

  “Yeah I guess so” Alex said looking suddenly nervous. “Right now we have about a half hour before the search parties will be deployed”.

  “What are you talking about” Melanie said looking at him totally confused.

  “As beautiful as you look Melanie I want you to go upstairs and get that dress off you as quickly as you can” he said taking her arms and guiding her to the stairs.

  “What, why?” Melanie said looking at him like he had sprouted a second head. He reached into his inside pocket and pulled out a passport and what looked like airline tickets and handed them to her.

  “What is this?” Melanie said looking down at the items in his hand.

  “It’s your passport and a ticket” Alex said calmly looking her in the eyes. “There is a flight leaving for Boston at a quarter passed four”.