Queen of Men: King Maker series

by Laine, Terri E.

  My father stepped into the house as we started to put breakfast on the table. I wasn’t surprised he hadn’t been home. I was certain my mother wouldn’t have encouraged a chat if he had been.

  He barely glanced my way. I tried not to be hurt by it. I didn’t see him as a bad man no matter how he saw me. He was a practical one. Everything was black and white. There wasn’t any such thing as the murky gray that colored my life.

  Once we were all seated around the table, my father commanded, “Bailey, grace the food.”

  Jake snickered and I shot him a glare. Scott hadn’t been religious and college life, well, we just didn’t say prayers before meals, not out loud at least.

  Rusty, I stumbled through it as my siblings snickered, until I was done. Father’s scowl quieted everyone. After amen was said, the noise ratcheted up as the younger ones fought to get to the food first after Father got his.

  As we ate, Father dictated our duties for the day. I gave silent points to my siblings for not outwardly groaning. No one dared to utter a sound of protest. When the meal was over, I asked to speak to both of my parents. Not wanting to let my younger siblings hear what I had to say, I urged my parents outside.

  I didn’t stop at the porch. I kept going a few more feet, trying to put as much distance between us and the house as possible.

  On the way out, Father put his hat on, and I stared at his neatly trimmed beard. It was long but well kempt. He wasn’t a great deal taller than me, but it felt like he towered over me as he did when I was a child. Though I respected him, I couldn’t hold my tongue on this issue.

  “What do you know about Vi’s husband Steven?” There, I’d said it. Although he seemed nice, I got this feeling he was hiding something big. I couldn’t get past Vi’s admission she married him because he needed a place to live.

  Father stared at me as his hand came up to stroke his beard.

  The fact that Mother said nothing as she waited for my father to speak only emphasized why I could never live here. Women were expected to submit to their husbands in all things. And I was a bit too outspoken for that. And even though Turner would have never held me to that standard, he would have been the laughingstock of all the men in the community if he couldn’t keep me in line.

  “You think that I did not look into the man that married your sister?” he asked. I looked up, ready to answer when his eyes silenced me. “Though he came back clean, I warned Violet not to get involved with a man so new to our community. She begged me to allow her to be with him. She’s made her bed.” His last phrase sounded exactly like what Mary said. I shouldn’t have been surprised. Mary was a brown-noser.

  “And that’s it?” I blurted. My tone raised, and my mother gave me a look of rebuke.

  “Bailey, I know it’s been a while since you’ve lived at home, but as you well know, I allow my children to make their choices. Those choices you have to live with.”

  His eyes bore into mine. He didn’t say she had to live with it, but I had to. It all came back to me.

  “We police our own. If your sister came to me and told me she felt threatened in any way, I would be there for her. She hasn’t. You need to let it go too.”

  It wasn’t so much as I thought he was hurting her as much as I thought he might be hiding from the world. Like me, I thought. But what was he hiding from, and would it put my sister in danger? Again, I thought about my own situation. I should leave. I didn’t want to believe that someone was after me, but the hairs on my arm rose as I thought about all the warnings that had been sent my way.

  My brothers came out. “Bailey said she would chaperone us,” Jake said to Father.

  That put the spotlight squarely on me as I saw my father’s disapproval.

  “I will, and I will leave for New York the next day,” I said.

  Was that a hint of a smile I saw on my father’s lips?

  “Stop dawdling. Go to your post,” Father dictated before walking away.

  Mother smiled at me and went inside to herd the rest of my siblings out for the day. Not wanting to put her between my father and me, I let the matter go.

  I spent the rest of the morning chores with my mother and my younger sisters in the kitchen, keeping my thoughts to myself.

  My brothers had headed to the stables where they helped with the horses. Anyone from the outside seeing how my family disbursed might assume we lived in a sexist society. While on the surface that was somewhat true, we all learned how to do basic tasks, including cooking, sewing, how to care for animals, plant crops, and other tasks. We were all prepared to be self-sufficient in case we were faced with survival on our own.

  When it became apparent an individual had talent in a particular area, they were sent to apprentice with someone skilled in that area. My sisters were still young enough that they were underfoot of my mother. But my brothers had shown a desire to work with horses and other animals we raised here.

  Father was a crop farmer. Yet, he let them go work with Isaac in the stables. I was sure Father hoped that one of us would take over the family business so to speak.

  As for me, I showed a desire for working with numbers and money. I had often wanted to handle the transactions at market. So I’d been sent to work with Betty on the bookkeeping.

  Today, I spent time doing manual labor, and by the end of the day, I was so tired, I ate dinner with my family. I ended up crashing with my little sisters, too tired to make the trek to Violet’s house. Guiltily, I used my father’s reasoning of needing to leave things alone as an excuse. Vi had made it two years with her husband, and she was still alive. I had to trust she’d keep one more night without my help.

  When morning came the next day, I felt rested, having had a dreamless night. My sisters were bustling about. I got to my feet to help with breakfast. When the younger ones headed off to school, I followed.

  It was time to get lost in the numbers again. Plus, I’d gotten the key from my father so I could use a computer to check my email.

  That was my first stop and I only had one message.

  It’s important that I speak with you, lass.

  I let the mouse pointer hover over the delete button. Then I clicked reply.

  There’s nothing that important

  I started again.

  There is nothing left to say. Please stop contacting me.

  I shut down the computer and locked the room on my way out. I made the short walk to the schoolhouse and lost myself in the numbers. I made new schedules and a profit and loss statement based on what I learned in school. It was a different format than what they were used to, but I hoped it would be beneficial to those who made decisions based on the profitability of our community businesses.

  When Mary brought me lunch, I barely looked up. The cynical part of me guessed she’d been directed to bring me food. When she didn’t say a word, I was certain I was right.

  Though I could have, I didn’t speak to her either. I didn’t want to fight about the imaginary things in her head. We were sisters, and she had no reason to hate me. But she did.

  Turner hadn’t come by, nor did he come to Violet’s house that night. And I found myself disappointed.

  My eyes closed that night, not sure what tomorrow would bring.

  Fingers stroked my core, making me moan as soft lips nibbled insistently at my pulse point. For a second, I thought he might bite me as his teeth grazed my neck.

  Desire for him raged like a wildfire and I didn’t care if he drew blood. I needed him like I needed to draw breath. I ached so much as I watched him take a step back.

  Slowly, like he enjoyed me watching him, he unbuttoned his shirt. It parted, revealing a muscled chest that belonged in magazines. When it hit the floor, I was practically drooling for the main event.

  He flicked open the top of his pants and they hung on the edge of his hips. A deep V of corded muscles aimed at my most wanted desire. I was on the verge of begging him to fill me with that hard cock of his, drawing pleasure on the knife’s edge of pai
n. How could one man give me such intense feelings that sent me into bliss every time?

  “Kalen,” I cried out.

  My eyes flew open as thunder cracked the air. I swallowed down the memory of the man I could never have as the sound of water pellets beat against the window like it wanted inside.

  One might think that with rain it would be like a day off. But it wasn’t. Many chores still needed doing regardless of the weather, and others were just moved indoors.

  My arms ached from the work I’d done the day before yesterday, so I opted to review the ledgers. I wondered how the community leaders would feel if I suggested doing the books on a computer instead of paper. It wasn’t like they were completely against technology.

  Turner blew in the door at lunch. He closed us in the tiny office while noise from conversations in the classroom hid everything we said.

  He planted himself at the edge of my desk. Arms folded, he stared at me for a long moment. I kept quiet, waiting for him to speak. He called my bluff and held out for me to break first. No doubt he’d figured out that I was avoiding him. But I wasn’t going to capitulate. I grabbed a roll from the basket he brought and bit off a chunk.

  Though he tried not to, his quick smile turned to a laugh as he shook his head. His arms uncrossed, and he gently brushed strands of hair from my face. His lips were far too close and the warmth of him filled all the spaces around me.

  “You know you can be honest with me,” he said.

  It wasn’t something he needed to say, yet it was something I needed to hear. I let loose the breath that I’d been holding. “I’m afraid.”

  Pinched or not, his smile was still friendly as he sat back. “Him?” The one-word question showed just how close we still were despite the time that put a wedge between us.

  "I don’t want to hurt anyone, let alone you. What if—”

  “Yeah, what if. What if the sky turned green? What if the moon turned red?” His words got softer as his head dipped. “What if we never found out if this was meant to be?”

  There was no doubt about our feelings for each other. My only question was my feelings for Kalen. As much as I wanted to discount them because he’d moved on, better yet, I let him go. Like my mother said, it wouldn’t be fair to Turner if I was with him and carried a torch for another.

  “Just give us a chance, Bails. Let’s go to the dance. No pressure.”

  I looked up at him, thinking about how close we’d come to crossing a line that wasn’t casual the way we’d been raised. A roll in the hay between consenting adults was one thing. Sex with a former lover and friend was a totally different thing. It could never be merely casual.

  His direct line into reading my emotions was still active because he said, “We don’t have to have sex.” He paused and stood up. “Don’t get me wrong. Every moment I’m around you, I want you. But I can wait.”

  There, he’d done it. He’d said what I’d been unable to. It seemed like it was harder now to be so open with him. My guilt for leaving him so long ago made me question if he could ever trust me.

  “Look,” he said. “I have a lot of things I need to do before I finish for the day. I’ll pick you up at Vi’s at sunset.”

  He didn’t give me time to answer or to explain that I’d told my father I would leave. He pressed his lips to mine and strolled out the door. The sounds from the other room filled the brief silence before the door closed again. I peeked into the basket he’d brought and smiled. Talk about non-traditional roles. Wasn’t I the one supposed to bring him lunch?

  Needing Lizzy, I picked up the phone and dialed her number.

  “Hello,” she said cautiously.

  “Lizzy,” I said. My glee might have been a bit too loud. The room next door seemed to quiet just a bit.

  “Bails,” she called out over the phone. “God, I miss you.”

  “Me too,” I said a lot softer.

  “Bails,” she said again and the timbre in her voice was full of apology. I understood immediately what she was going to say next. “I’m not sure if you—”

  “I saw,” I cut her off, not wanting Kalen to take up the little time we had to talk. “What about you? How is Chicago?”

  “It’s great.” But it was Lizzy who was great. She wouldn’t press me. “You know, Matt wants you to come for a visit.”

  “I just bet he does.” I laughed.

  “Ewww, that’s seriously gross, the two of you.” She paused. “He’s a great guy, though.”

  “I know. I think I’ve had my fill of guys.” I told her everything that had happened in excruciating detail.

  “Turner, he sounds delicious.”

  “Is that your expert advice?”

  She sighed. “Do you want me to say that it sucks being you? I can’t exactly say that. It’s like you have a ton of hot guys sniffing around.”

  “One guy, Turner,” I corrected.

  “I don’t care what the tabloids say about Mr. Jeremy Kalen Brinner King. Did you see that picture? The expression on his face was frosty.”

  “I seriously doubted he liked all the flashes of cameras going off in his face. He’s a private guy.”

  “Keep telling yourself that.”

  I would, if for nothing more than to keep my sanity. I’d let him go. I wouldn’t allow myself to believe I’d made a mistake. It was long past time to move on.

  “What about you and Hans?” I redirected.

  “Hans? Did I ever tell you the size of his penis?”

  I shook my head. I missed her so much. “Um, no.”

  “Let’s just say he gives awesome oral. Must be a skill he learned to make up for his shortcomings.” She laughed. “Get it, shortcummings.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh when she laughed. But then, I remembered that this was a long-distance call and not my cell phone. The community would be billed per minute for this call. “Lizzy, I have to go. But I miss you terribly.”

  “Tell me where you are, and I’ll come.”

  Lizzy roughing it wasn’t something I’d want to see. I loved her, but she loved things like a flushable toilet, down comforters, and other conveniences not found here.

  “I’m thinking about heading home in the next few days. If not, I’ll call you and let you know my plans,” I said.

  Twenty-Three

  Humming a tune lost to most of the world, something I heard often growing up, Violet continued to play with my hair.

  “How much longer?” I complained.

  “Hold your horses,” she chided. “You can’t go with your hair pulled back in a bun.”

  “Why not?” I could feel my brows crease in a frown.

  “He’s seen you every day like that. I’m giving you an elegant French twist.”

  Violet was worse than Lizzy. If Violet had Lizzy’s stuff, I’d be used like a doll.

  “Done,” she said before coming around to look at me.

  My frown deepened. Reaching up with both hands, I pulled at the wisps of hair hanging loose on either side of my face. “Why not just let all my hair hang free?”

  She gave me a motherly look that said I should know better. “Yeah, and the old biddies will have a harvest day telling Mother about her wayward daughter.”

  Sometimes home reminded me of the Dark Ages. We weren’t allowed to wear our hair loose in public. It was silly.

  Lost in my thoughts, I missed an opportunity to stop Violet’s hands before she pinched my cheeks. “Press your lips together,” she dictated.

  “Why?”

  “Just do it,” she replied. “And hurry about it.”

  Not wanting her to pinch my cheeks again, I did. When I looked into her eyes, her cheeks glowed with a brilliant smile. “Ready then?”

  “What was that all about?” I complained.

  “Nature’s makeup.” We weren’t allowed to wear makeup. This apparently was the next best thing.

  A knock came at the door, interrupting anything I might have said.

  “How did you know he was here?”
Was she a seer like some of the old women talked about when we were kids? I always brushed it off as stories told to keep the kids in line.

  “I saw him through the window when I walked around you.” She shook her head as if she knew what I’d been thinking.

  The window had been to the side of me. She’d been using it for natural light to get me ready. I stood and smoothed down the skirt of my dress. My sister headed to open the door.

  Turner stood and his mouth opened. He looked shocked to see me, but why? I looked the same. “You look beautiful.”

  I smiled brightly and began to head out the door with him when my sister whispered, “You’ve got that I just had sex look. You’re glowing and rosy cheeked.”

  A scowl crossed my expression, which I happily gave to her. How would looking as if I already had sex benefit me in any way this moment?

  By the time we arrived in front of the town’s all-purpose building, most of the families had arrived and were inside. Our hometown makeshift band played and the sound carried out into the night.

  If the outsiders who were so curious about us saw this night, they’d never confuse us with the Amish again. Our leaders recognized that our youth would find other ways to busy themselves if they weren’t given something to look forward to. A dance where distance between partners was scrutinized by chaperones was enough concession for even the most religious among us to be okay with.

  Inside, I recognized many members, although time had changed a few faces along with the happy life that included extra padding around the middle for some. My brothers stood with my parents and the girls. I waved and Jake looked relieved.

  My father said something and turned to walk away after an acknowledging wave back. My mother gave me a delighted smile and noticed that Turner held my hand. She winked and walked toward home with Piper’s hand held in hers and Iris a few paces behind.

  The band, which had been playing for the family affair that preceded the dance, decided a mood change of music was in order. A slow number hummed out, and Turner twirled me to land solidly against his chest. “You know, I remember our first kiss.”