Exposure

by Kolleen Fraser

  “Yeah, right, pervert.” We both laugh our way into the bar.

  The minute we walk in, he comes into view; Craig, Bex’s latest jerk-face boyfriend, with his hands on the new waitress’s ass, pressed against the bar with his tongue down her throat. I watch Bex to gauge her reaction and I can see shit’s about to get real.

  “You low-down, dirty motherfucker,” Bex mutters as she launches herself at them, screaming.

  “Oh shit.” I run after her, trying to stop this from turning into an episode of Jerry Springer.

  The girl screams when Bex pulls her away from Craig by the hair. He raises his hands, pleading, “Becca, babe, it’s nothing, she got a little friendly but that’s all it was, honest.”

  “Bullshit, we’ve had sex in his office every day this week. Whatever, I quit.” whines the girl before she tosses her apron on the floor and walks out.

  “You’re a pig,” I shout at him before turning to guide Bex out the door. Why does she keep giving her whole heart to these losers? She breaks down when we get in the car.

  “You’re smart, beautiful, and worthy of so much more than the likes of him. Craig’s a giant asshat and deserves to have his cock rot off.” This gets a smile.

  “I should be more like you, Lex. Not put myself out there to be hurt.”

  Her words are like a blow to the heart. Have I really closed myself off? Am I leading a coward’s life by refusing to put myself out there? “We both could benefit from acting a bit like each other. You’re too open and I’m way too closed off.”

  “Together we’re the perfect person.”

  I walk through the door of King of Hearts tattoo and piercing, shaking the rain out of my umbrella when I’m confronted with a frazzled-looking woman running around the reception desk.

  “Are you all right?” I ask.

  “Have you seen a pain-in-the-ass, bratty kid hiding around here?”

  “A kid? No.” I’m a bit startled by her aggression toward a child, and wondering why there is a kid hanging out in a tattoo parlor.

  “You’re from Alexa Raine Photography, right? The two o’clock consult?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Well, you’re early and he’s not finished yet. I’ve got a brat to find because apparently on-call babysitter is in my freaking job description. Take a seat, you can browse some of their books while you wait.”

  I nod in response. She’s kind of rude for a receptionist but looks like she’s having a rough day, so I let it slide. I settle in and begin flipping pages through some seriously impressive work. I hear a delicate sneeze coming from somewhere behind me. I peak over the back of the couch and spot a little girl with blonde ringlets and big blue eyes looking up at me. “Marco!” she yells. I watch her curiously.

  From somewhere in the back room I hear the receptionist grumbling, “Dammit, Jess, I don’t have time to play that stupid game with you.”

  I turn toward the little girl and whisper, “Polo,” before turning back to the book I was flipping through. Her melodic giggle puts a smile on my face. Brat my ass, she’s obviously adorable. She crawls out, standing in front of me with wide eyes, her mouth forming a tiny circle. “Are you a princess? You look just like the princess. Are you getting a tattoo? I like your butterflies.” She reaches out, tracing the butterflies and flowers decorating my forearm. This girl is so stinking sweet.

  “Thank you. No, I’m not a princess but you certainly look like one.” Motioning to the flowing pink dress she has on. “Why are you hiding from your mom?”

  Her precious face scrunches up in disgust. “She’s not my mom! That’s Anabelle.” She hisses the name like it’s a disease, looking in the direction the rude woman went. “She answers the phone and stuff for Daddy, but she’s mean. She never has candy and never wants to play with me.” The whole time she’s talking she’s touching my face. Is it normal for a child to touch your face? Because it feels weird. “You really are the princess!”

  “I’m not....”

  “Daddy!” she yells, inches from my face, before running off behind the counter somewhere. I guess that explains why she’s here, her dad owns the place. The girl returns a minute later dragging behind her, who I can only assume is her daddy. He’s tall with shaggy dark blond hair and an impressive beard. “Daddy, you have to see her, she’s the princess, the one from Uncle Noah’s tattoo.”

  My heart stops beating, and it feels like the world freezes as I stare at this sweet little girl standing next to her daddy, Marco. We stand frozen, staring for what feels like a lifetime, our eyes locked on each other. Tears well up, ready to overflow, and I can’t stop staring. Is this real?

  “Marco?”

  “Holy shit, Lexi?” He charges at me, sweeping me up in a hug and we both start crying. I lean back, looking at his face. I push back his shaggy hair and see the tattoo I gave him over his eye.

  “It’s really you.” I bury my face in his chest.

  “Daddy?” Jess looks confused watching our interaction. Marco gets down on one knee in front of her and says, “Sweetheart, this is Miss Lexi. She was your mama’s best friend while you were in her tummy.”

  I can’t help the sob that erupts from my chest. I drop to my knees and stare at her sweet face; I see Elise and Marco mixed in her petite features. I stare at Marco, questioningly. “She survived?” He nods, and I lose it. I ugly cry loud and completely break down. I want to pick up this sweet baby girl and squish her with everything I have but I don’t want to scare her. Marco sits down next to me, wrapping his arms around me. She’s alive. I can’t even begin to wrap my head around this.

  “Don’t be sad, Princess Lexi.” Jess comforts me, placing her small hand on my cheek. I love her already.

  “Can I give you a hug, sweetheart?”

  “Of course you can, silly. Hugs always help when you’re feeling sad.” She holds out her arms, ready to comfort me. This girl, she’s a miracle.

  “What the hell is going out here?” someone says behind me. I stand up as Noah walks in, locking eyes with me. “Lexi?”

  This can’t be real, I’m frozen in place with tear-filled eyes. The shock wears off after a few moments of silence, and we run into each other’s embrace. I’m finally home again. This is too much, have I really been given this incredible gift?

  “Is this real? I feel like I’m dreaming.” I lean back and run my fingers through his hair, over his face, touching as much of him as I can to convince myself he’s really standing here.

  A throat clearing behind Noah draws our attention. Anabelle stands, looking pissed and shocked at the scene in front of her. Noah pulls away from me, looking guilty.

  She’s staring at Noah with tears in her eyes. I wait for him to introduce me, but he stands stoic, lost in thought.

  I can’t stand here awkwardly anymore so I offer a smile, deciding to break the ice. “Sorry for the excitement, I haven’t seen these guys in years. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever... anyways. I’m Lexi Raine.” I hold my hand out. Her eyes widen at the sound of my name.

  “You’re Lexi?”

  “Alexa Raine?” Noah asks.

  “I was adopted, by my aunt.”

  “You’re Lexi?” Anabelle asks again, looking crestfallen.

  I turn to Noah, waiting for him to answer, but he’s staring at Marco. Having no idea what’s happening, I shrug, smiling at her. “That’s me. Nice to meet you.”

  She reaches for my hand. “I’m Anabelle, Noah’s girlfriend.”

  And the floor drops out from beneath me. All sound dissolves as those words settle over my soul. Girlfriend. It’s too late. “Oh,” is all I can muster. Before dropping her hand, I look to Marco. “Sorry, I actually have to reschedule... our meeting. I have an... um appointment I forgot about. I’ve... got to go.”

  I turn and walk out without saying another word; fight or flight kicks in and I flee. I can’t be here, I need to leave. I’m going to break down at any second and I can’t be here when that happens. I run out so fast I forget my coat an
d by the time I get to my car, the rain has soaked me to the bone. Noah’s voice is yelling after me but all I hear are the words, Noah’s girlfriend.

  Once I’m safely inside my car, I let loose years of anger and frustration. I start beating my fists against the steering wheel, screaming. I’ve lived here for four years and he was here the whole time. I feel like an idiot for running out but there was no way I could stand there and pretend when everything I ever wanted was right in front of me and still out of reach.

  I can’t watch him with someone else. A tap on the window startles me. Noah is standing beside my car.

  “Open the door, Lex... please.” I shake my head. “I’ll break it if you don’t open the door. I won’t let any obstacle come between us again, not even this goddamned window.” Unable to deny him anything, I open the door. I continue to cry as he pulls me from the car, out into the rain. I want him to hold me so bad I can’t breathe but I keep my distance. He isn’t mine anymore, and that fact makes me furious.

  “That girl in there is a pretty big freaking obstacle, Noah. God, I’m such an idiot, I missed you so much. I can’t do this. I waited for you! I knew you hated me but like an idiot I still waited for you to one day forgive me.” I scream at him, hitting his chest.

  “Hate you? How could I ever hate you? I’m sorry I hurt you.”

  “It was all for nothing, all those years of me loving you, waiting for you, and you were loving someone else. I can’t do this, Noah, I can’t listen to you tell me how wonderful she is. I don’t care, I’m sorry, but I don’t want to hear it. If that makes me a selfish bitch, fine. I can’t... Please, let me go!” I sob uncontrollably. I get back into my car, but he keeps hold of the door, refusing to let me leave. I’m in no shape to drive and he sees that.

  “I just found you, I won’t lose you again, dammit! You can’t drive in this condition. Please, Lexi love, let me help you get home.” I shake my head.

  At the sound of his name for me, Lexi love, I close my eyes as my head falls against the headrest, my heart cracking wide open. “No, this needs to be over now.” I need to cut him out of my life once and for all.

  “This is not fucking over,” he yells.

  “Enough.” Marco pushes past Noah, takes my hand and guides me out of the driver’s seat to the other side. He sits me down and buckles my belt like I’m a child. I’m grateful, as I don’t think I could have managed on my own. I’m in shock, unable to stop replaying everything over and over in my head. What just happened? I was given everything and had it ripped away before I had a moment to enjoy it. Noah stands stoic in the rain, watching as I stare at him with wide tear-filled eyes, my whole body shaking. Marco tosses him a set of keys. “Follow us.”

  Marco gets behind the wheel, asking, “Address?” I mutter off my address. My voice is croaky and barely recognizable. The car starts moving and still I stare at Noah, he stares back as he walks toward a truck in the parking lot.

  His face is rougher than I remember. Of course, he was a boy then, he’s a man now, with hard edges; he has survived his sister’s death, and that changes a person. The boy I loved is gone forever. Lost in one night of gunfire and heartbreak. Our whole world was ripped to shreds, and every day I prayed he would find me, he wasn’t even looking. He was with her, falling in love with her. I close my eyes tight, trying to block the images of him with her.

  “Are you okay?” Marco asks.

  “No, Marco. I don’t think I am.” I try smiling to reassure him but the tremble in my chin gives away my heartbreak. Hopeless tears fall down my cheeks and onto my hands clenched in my lap. This is irrational. I can’t be heartbroken, he isn’t even mine. He hasn’t been mine for a long time. I try to talk myself down, take deep breaths, but my heart whispers, he’ll always be mine.

  “Babe,” Noah’s voice startles me. He’s standing outside the open car door with his hand out. I look around, confused. The rain has stopped and we’re at my house. When did we get here? Taking his hand, I gasp at the contact but allow him to help me out of the car. My whole body shivers violently; from the rain-soaked clothes or the presence of Noah, it’s a toss-up.

  “You’re really here?” He smiles sadly, touching my cheek, gently wiping the tears away. I lean into his touch, inhaling his scent. “Lexi, I thought I’d never see you again. Where have you been? Please can we talk, I can’t leave you right now, please don’t make me leave.” I nod, turning toward the house.

  Once I get to the door, Bex opens it before I get my keys. Seeing my face and the two heavily tattooed and equally soaked men with me, she goes on high alert. “What the hell happened? Are you okay?” I wipe a tear off my cheek and shake my head. Her gaze shifts between me, Noah, and then Marco. “What is going on?”

  “Bex, this is Noah and Marco. Guys, this is my sister

  Rebekah.”

  She gasps, covering her mouth. “Holy shit. The Noah?”

  Noah chuckles. “In the flesh.”

  “Lexi, why aren’t you ecstatic right now? This is amazing!” Seeing I am in fact not ecstatic, she frowns. “Are you okay?”

  “No, and I really wish everyone would stop asking me that!” I yell as I grab three towels out of the bathroom, tossing one to each of the guys.

  Noah comes to stand in front of me, so close. I lift my hand to touch him, shaking my head and pulling my hand back before it makes contact. “We need to talk,” he whispers.

  I’m afraid anything I say or do will burst this bubble and I’ll wake up from this dream. I simply nod, letting him take my hand. I lead him to my room, closing the door behind us. I sit on the bed before my legs give out and he stands by the door, watching me.

  For a moment, we stare at each other. Both willing our minds to believe this is happening. Noah collapses on his knees in front of me. He rests his head against my lap and cries. Anguished, painful cries that rip my soul in two. We cling to each other. “I’m sorry, I should have listened, I should never have gone back there. I’m so sorry.” I’m holding on to him so tight I don’t ever want to let go again. I’ll cling to this moment for as long as we can. I know it will be over in the blink of an eye. He’ll go back to his girlfriend and his life will keep rushing forward without me, but this moment belongs to us.

  “No, it was my fault. I should have gotten there sooner. I should have fought harder to see you at the hospital. Should have come for you when they released me from jail. When my mom came to bail me out she took Jess. After Elise... we were broken. Our whole family was torn apart. I’m so sorry, Lexi.” His lips brush over mine. “I never stopped loving you.”

  I pull him to me, not able to stand the space between us for another second. My whole body aching with need for him. Our lips speak our love and desperation with every touch. My legs wrap around him and we fall back on the bed. I need more of him. Five long years and I’ve found the other half of my soul. I’ll fight for him, for us. Nothing will take him away from me again.

  Noah’s cell phone rings in his pocket. “Shit,” he whispers before he kisses me one last time, slowly.

  Fate is a bitch.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Noah’s cell rings again, breaking the spell we’re under. He glances down, the name Anabelle fl ashing across it. It kills me, but the love of my life pulls away and stands up.

  “You should go, Noah. This has to be really confusing for her.”

  “She knows about you.”

  I stare at him in shock. “Why would you tell her about me?”

  He pulls his shirt over his head. There, on his chest, sits a stunning sketch of my face, tattooed on his skin. It looks real. I reach out, running my fi ngers over the lines of my face and the letters of my name. “I had to tell her, to explain this.” What did he tell her? Why did he get this to remember me?

  “Why?”

  “Because I love you, Lexi. It’s always been you. I carried you with me, every single day we were apart.” He runs his finger over the crown tattooed on my finger. “Just like you carried me with you.�
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  “I called, but you didn’t want anything to do with me.”

  “What? I would never say that.”

  “Your mother, she told me you hated me for what happened to Elise, that you never wanted to see me again.”

  “God, Lexi, I had no idea. I’m so sorry she said that to you. My mom went crazy after Elise died, she took Jess and I back home with her. I was such a wreck. She blocked Marco from seeing Jess and tried to get custody. It was a mess. Luckily, the judge saw through her bullshit. When Marco came to pick up Jess, I left with him. I haven’t seen or spoken to her in years. I’m so sorry.” He pulls me into a hug, kissing my forehead.

  “We can’t do this, Noah. Please, I need time to process this. You have a girlfriend.”

  Leaning in, he brushes his lips against mine. His cell goes off again. With a sigh, I put some distance between us. “You should go to her, Noah. This isn’t right, she doesn’t deserve this.”

  Bex and Marco are standing in the kitchen making awkward small talk when we return. I walk over and hug Marco. “I need to see you and Jess again, soon,” I say, writing my number down on a piece of paper and handing it to him.

  “You bet. I’ll call you,” he says, hugging me again. Whispering in my ear, “Give him a chance, Lex. Life doesn’t just hand out miracles like this every day.” I nod, trying to stop the tears from falling.

  We say our goodbyes and Noah pulls me into his arms. “Don’t give up on me, Lexi love.”

  My heart melts at his name for me. I’ve loved him with my whole heart for so long. Before pulling away I whisper, “Never.” I’ll fight for him, until my last breath.

  Once they leave it takes Bex about three seconds to freak out. “What the hell just happened? Where did you find him? Why aren’t you jumping up and down excited right now? Why did he leave and take that fine-assed man with him?”