“He’s a loser, moving on!” I call out to her as I shimmy away to the music, and take the shot Sarah passes me. The night feels like it goes on for days, and my feet are killing me. I find a quiet moment to give Bex the heads up about Noah wanting to move in together but in our inebriated state we don’t do much planning other than declaring our love for one another. At the end of Sarah’s shift, I call a cab to collect us.
Bex stays behind with Sarah, waiting for Jimmy to be finished so she can catch a ride with him. I kiss them all goodbye and walk outside to wait for my cab. The cool air feels amazing after being in the stuffy club all night. Gravel crunches beside me, sending chills down my spine.
I turn to see Christopher waiting for me. I roll my eyes at him swaying as he stalks toward me. “Go home, Christopher. I’m tired as hell and in no mood to deal with your crap. Leave now or I’ll call the cops.”
His fist comes out of nowhere, connecting with my jaw. Pain erupts across my face as I collapse, my knees hitting the sharp gravel. He punches me twice more before screaming, “You’re always teasing me, parading your ass in front of me, laughing at me! You think I’m a joke.” His hand grabs at my shirt, ripping it down, exposing my bra. His hand closes around my throat and I can’t breathe. In a daze, I try to pull his hand free, but my head is spinning from the hits. He pushes me back into the gravel, every rock cutting into me. He frantically and clumsily starts pulling at my clothes, trying to get his hands in my pants. “You made me do this.”
Flashes of my attack bombard me until I find strength in myself; I refuse to be a victim again. I put my training to use once more, and I fight back with everything I have and manage to knock him off balance.
Quickly scrambling to my feet, I run for the club door, screaming, hoping someone hears me. I almost make it, but he tackles me to the ground again, my head cracking against the gravel.
As he turns me onto my back, I see the rage twisting his face into something that will haunt me forever. When his weight presses me into the stones, I frantically scratch every inch of exposed skin I can access. He grabs my hand, wrenching it in his vice-like grasp, twisting it away from him and pinning it to the ground. I thrash and squirm beneath him, doing everything I can to avoid having my other hand being pinned as well. It’s not enough though. Too quickly, he has both hands grasped in one of his and I can feel his erection press against my core.
I let loose a scream, as loud as I can.
I hear a yelled “What the fuck!” from behind us and his weight is suddenly lifted off me. I roll onto my side and throw up the contents of my stomach. I can’t see straight; my head is pounding from too much alcohol and the beating I just took. I hear screaming and yelling from somewhere beside me, but I can’t seem to make out the words.
“Baby, look at me, are you okay?”
“Noah?” I start crying at the sound of his voice. He saved me. I try to stay awake, but I slip into blackness.
I suffered a concussion and am bruised and battered all over my body. The police came and arrested Christopher. Noah was livid that I walked out there alone at night and that security allowed it. And that I didn’t tell him that Christopher had attacked me once before. Oops. I can tell he blames himself when I see him in the hospital. He collapses beside me and cries. We both do; tonight was too real, too much like the night we lost each other.
“I wish I’d been stronger, been able to protect myself.”
“This isn’t your fault. You did great. That bastard will get what he deserves.”
“I love you.”
“Marry me.” His words come as a complete shock, and
it takes me a moment to register what he’s said.
“No, not like this, the only reason you’re asking me is because I’m all beat up and fragile.”
“You know that’s not true, I wanted to marry you the moment I saw you at King of Hearts. Hell, I wanted to marry you when you were a shy hot mess on a step and shocked the hell out of me when you kissed me. If you won’t marry me yet, then move in with me, I need you close. I’m done being separated from you.”
“Okay,” I say with a crooked smile; my lip is split and swollen, I look like I lost a fight with a beehive.
We become inseparable and when I’m given the okay to go home, Noah and I decide it’s time to sit down with Bex and Marco and figure out our future. We’ve waited long enough.
“Why don’t I take Noah's room at Marco’s house,” Bex blurts, leaving us all in shock. I glance at Marco and he has a smile on his face like he just won the lottery. What is going on with those two? I think it’s a huge disaster, but she and Marco assure me it’s a great idea, and that there is nothing going on. Resisting calling them out on their bullshit, I stay quiet, curious how this will play out.
“If you’re both sure this is what you want.”
“We’re grown-ups, Lexi. I think we can handle it. And I can be there if he needs help with Jess.”
With everyone in agreement, we plan on swapping Noah and Bex’s stuff the following weekend.
Thanksgiving comes, and everyone gets together at our place for dinner. I’m all healed up now and am puttering around the kitchen with Lana and Bex. Lana catches me staring off, thinking. “Penny for your thoughts, love.”
I smile at her; she’s so caring. “I’ve spent plenty of Thanksgivings in my life alone, never having a family who cared. Sometimes I want to pinch myself; I have this amazing group of people who I love and who love me. I feel so blessed.”
“But... Matthew is missing?”
She knows me so well. “Yeah, I wish I knew where he was, that he was safe and loved.”
“Patience, my dear, he’ll find his way to you when he’s ready. He may be hard to find but you’re not. You’ve left a trail of breadcrumbs leading straight to you. Now you have to wait for the universe to lead him to you.”
The universe; it always comes back to fate and the universe with Lana. At first it seems so ridiculous but after years of listening to her, I see its merit. That night before bed I close my eyes and send a silent prayer out into the universe, for Matty to find his way to me. I’ve tried looking myself and hiring PIs, but now it’s time for the universe to do its magic. I refuse to believe my brother is lost forever.
Work is going brilliantly in the wake of my last show. I have so many bookings, my schedule is booked solid through into next year. I’m loving my life and my career, and Noah of course. It’s hard to believe a few short months ago my life was so different.
After dinner, we head down to the beach to watch the sunset and so Jess can run off some energy. Lana and John lay out a blanket, snuggling close. They’re watching Marco and Bex chasing Jess in the waves a little way down the beach. Noah takes my hand and leads me to the water’s edge. He seems preoccupied.
“You all right?” I ask, touching his cheek. He smiles down at me, kissing my palm.
“Better than okay. It feels like a dream, being together like this. I never thought...” He trails off, tears forming in his loving eyes.
“Hey, no tears. This is a happy day, we found each other, that’s all that matters.”
Noah drops to his knees in front of me. “Lexi, I believe in miracles, and us finding each other was the greatest miracle in my life. Will you marry me?”
I burst into tears, dropping to the ground with him, crying, “Yes!” Here, on our beach at sunset, all my dreams come true.
“I want to spend the rest of my life making miracles with you. I wish I could have been by your side all these years.”
“You were with me though, I never lost sight of the life I wanted. I always knew, somehow, I would find you. I think I needed that time we spent apart to heal myself. To get the help I needed to feel whole.”
By the time we pick ourselves up off the sand and join the rest of the group, they’re cheering in celebration for us. A perfect end to a perfect day, and we have so much to be thankful for.
Chapter Eighteen
While reorganizing my gallery, the
bell over the door startles me out of my daydreaming. “Be right with you,” I call out before finishing adjusting the frame on the wall.
“I’m not going anywhere. Take your time, sis.”
My heart stops in my chest at those words. I turn around and come face to face with my brother Matthew. I burst into tears and run into his arms. We stand there, clinging to each other for a few moments, before I can form words and take a minute to look at him.
Five long years since I’ve seen his handsome face. He looks so different. I lock up the gallery and lead him into the house. I can’t help but stare at him as I put on a pot of coffee. “How did you find me? I looked for you for years. I thought I’d lost you forever.”
“I looked for you too, but I didn’t know where you were taken. I’m so sorry, Alexa. I brought those men into our lives. I was a mess back then, high all the time. I did anything I could to make money: sell drugs, steal cars, fight for cash. I owed the wrong guy too much money. He found me that night and beat the crap out of me. I woke up in a hospital bed, beaten and bloody. When I finally got home, you weren’t there, just a bloody mess behind police tape and you were gone. I feared the worse. The landlord wouldn’t give me any information at first, just that two girls were shot, one was DOA. One shooter was killed by cops and one found dead in our apartment. Two men were taken into custody.
“I was a mess for a long time after that day. I looked for you but didn’t know where to start. Fearing the worst, that you had been killed by the men I brought to our doorstep, I decided the only thing left to do was go to the cops myself and demand answers.” He laughs at this. “What a stupid idea that was. Turns out I had an outstanding warrant. So, when I barged into the cop shop, high as a kite, confronting them about that day, I was arrested and did six months in jail.”
“Oh, Matty. Six months!” My heart sinks at the thought of him in jail.
“It was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. When I got out, I knew I wanted to change my life, but I was lost and without any family to lean on. I knew if I stayed where I was I would cave and fall back into the life. Then, one day I walked past a recruiter’s office and oddly enough, I liked what he had to say. I needed structure in my life, I needed to learn to be a man. So, I enlisted, and spent the next couple years overseas. Two tours in Afghanistan.”
I shudder at the thought of him dying in some godforsaken war and never seeing him again.
“It was the best decision I’ve ever made. And well, it’s also how I met my wife.”
“You’re married? Oh, Matty, I’m so happy, when can I meet her?”
“Soon, I came alone this trip but next time I’ll definitely be bringing them.” “Them?” I ask.
He pulls something out of his pocket and holds it out for me to see. “This is Cara, my wife, and Marshall, our son, he just turned two last month.”
I cry happy tears over his picture. “What a lovely family you have. I can’t wait to meet them.” His son looks like a clone of Matty as a child.
He tells me more about his wife and son.
“Why is the gallery locked up, babe?” I hear Noah coming up the steps. When he sees Matty you can tell it takes him a moment to figure out who he is. “Matt? Jesus, it’s good to see you, man.”
Matty gets up and gives him a man hug, each slapping the other on the back. “Great to see you’re still looking out for her after all these years.”
“Actually, we only found each other a few months back.”
“How long can you stay for?”
“I gotta get back as soon as possible but this was the first solid lead I’ve had in years, so I had to come see for myself,” he says, pulling me to his side. I wrap my arm around his waist. He stays for a few hours, meeting Bex, Marco, and Jess before he has to head back home but not before promising to bring the whole gang back for Christmas in a few weeks.
I hug him so tight, not wanting him to leave but knowing he has a life to get back to. “I’m being ridiculous, but I hate letting you go.”
“I’m not going anywhere, kid. It’s been a long search and now that I’ve found you and know you’re safe and happy, I can go back home and relax for the first time in years.” We laugh and hug again before he must leave to catch his flight home.
“Love you, big brother. Squish my nephew and sisterin-law for me.”
“See you in a few weeks, Matt,” Noah adds.
Watching the cab pull away, Noah wraps his arms around me from behind. “Just when you think life can’t get any more incredible.”
I smile up at him. “It’s a magical life, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, babe, it really is.”
Christmas is wonderful. The house has decorations covering every surface. I must admit, since moving in with Lana and Bex I have been a little crazy when it comes to Christmas, wanting everything to be perfect, especially this year. The tree is bursting at its seams with presents for everyone. The turkey is in the oven, smelling delicious already. Trays of treats are set out on every table.
“Babe, you’ve made enough food to feed an army,” Noah says, snatching a candy cane-shaped cookie off the tray I’m adjusting for the tenth time.
“It needs to be perfect, stop eating! Now the tray looks lopsided.” I smack his hand, then adjust the cookies to hide the empty spot he left.
Wrapping his arms around my waist, he kisses my neck. “I love this side of you. I can’t wait until it’s our kids you are obsessing over. But you really need to relax.” He continues kissing up my neck until he hits that magical spot that makes my knees go weak and a moan slips out.
“Noah, they will be here any minute. We don’t have time.”
“Challenge accepted,” he says before throwing me over his shoulder and running upstairs to our bedroom. I’m so worked up it doesn’t take either of us long before we are running for the door, re-adjusting our clothes on the way, laughing.
Bex walks in and one glance at us has her laughing and rolling her eyes. “Merry Christmas, sinners,” she whispers as she passes me. I smack her and give Marco and Jess a hug, wishing them Merry Christmas. Jess gives me a quick hug before running to the Christmas tree looking through the gifts to see which ones have her name on them.
Having Jess, and Matty's boy here, has made it so much more special. With everyone I love gathered around the table.
Matty’s wife, Cara, is the sweetest woman. She’s visibly nervous when they first get here, holding onto Marshall because he’s shy of all the new people. Cara’s quiet at first but it doesn’t take long for her bright personality to shine through. I adore her instantly, watching her dote on Matty and their son. I want to sweep little Marshall up in a hug and squish him but I’m a stranger to him, so I reluctantly bide my time and do my best show him how awesome his Auntie Lexi is while he's here.
Jess is a great with him, she’s his cheerleader and entertainment committee. Showing him where we keep the toys and cookies. He loves her as much as we do after ten minutes in her presence.
I’ve been an emotional wreck all day, I can’t seem to stop myself from tearing up every five minutes from happiness. Lana bumps shoulders with me, as we stand watching Jess and Marshall enjoy the chaos of gift opening. “I’m so happy for you, Lexi. This moment is everything you’ve ever wished for. I can feel happiness radiating off you in waves.”
“The home you gave me and the love you showed me made this possible, Lana. I’ll forever be grateful for that and the room to find myself. I love you, Lana.”
“Aww, I love you too, sweetheart.” We turn our attention to Bex and Marco teasing each other but there is something in their eyes that tells me there is much more there under the surface. Lana nods in their direction. “What’s that all about?”
I shrug in response, shaking my head. “I doubt they even know.”
They’ve been doing this crazy dance around each other. Clearly driving each other nuts in all kinds of ways. I’d say them moving in together was a terrible idea but the way they
bicker seems to be some kind of foreplay with them; it’s bizarre to watch.
“One day soon, those two are going to explode and rip each other’s clothes off,” Lana says to me, quietly. I snicker, agreeing 100 percent.
Jess is playing with Marshall. She’s being a bit of a diva but nothing too out of line, just regular strong-willed type of behavior. I can’t help but notice she’s starting to act a little like Bex and I see Elise in her as well; it’s sweet. The three of them make a cute little family. I bet Elise is looking down on them smiling.
A few days before the wedding I decide to finally go to Elise’s grave with Marco, Jess, and Noah. They go every month, but I just haven’t been able to bring myself to go, thinking it’s just a headstone and I won’t feel any different. Now, walking toward her grave, emotions are clogging my throat making it hard to breathe. My soul aches for my best friend. For Jess’s mom, for Marco’s first love, for Noah’s sister. Fat tears stream down my cheeks. It’s too much of a tragedy; she deserved to live a long happy life. She meant so much to us and her absence is felt every day. I’m a mess.
Little Jess is quite the opposite; light and carefree as she dances between headstones humming a little song. When we get to Elise’s grave, Jess changes out the old flowers for new ones, and brushes any leaves off her mom’s grave. All the while she natters on and on to Elise, about the fascinating things she’s seen and done since their last visit.
I let them have their time and when they walk back to
the car, I’m a bit relieved that they’re giving me some time alone with her. I stand there awkwardly for a few seconds, not sure where to begin, and feeling weird talking aloud.
“Hi, Elise. It’s taken me a long time to find you.” I don’t know what to say. So, I sit on the grass next to her headstone, letting the tears fall. “You saved my life that day, Elise, and so many times since.” I brush my fingers over her name. “Jess is perfect. She’s so much like you, but I guess you already know that, huh? I’m so glad I found all of you, I wish I could see you one last time. To tell you how sorry I am for going back to my apartment that day. If I had only listened to you...” I break down, sobbing.
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