Living in Fast Forward

by BA Tortuga

  “Fuck.” Jerking under him, Hollis slid a finger inside him, the tight, rough feeling enough to make him crazy. “Baby. I want….”

  “Yeah. Yeah, Hollis.” He knew all about wanting.

  “So tight. So fucking hot for me. Love the way you feel. Love how you hold me. I want in.”

  “Yeah. Yeah.” He could do that. Needed it in the worst way. “Come on, beautiful. I need so fucking bad.”

  “How do you want me, baby? I don’t want to….” Hollis growled, just rolling them, putting him on his back. “Tell me if I hurt you.”

  “I will. You won’t. I’m getting stronger.” Every day. Every fucking day. He’d earned this.

  “You are, baby.” He got a wild smile, a kiss, and then Hollis was muscling between his legs, cock rubbing against his balls.

  He spread for Hollis, one leg wrapping around one hip and pulling the man closer.

  “Ready? I didn’t slick you up much.” Hollis wasn’t waiting for him to answer. No sir. The man was just pushing right inside him, heavy and hard and hot as a brand.

  “Oh. Fuck, yes.” He forced his eyes to stay open, to watch as Hollis filled him up. Those pretty eyes stared right down into his, making the effort worth it. Because damn. Hollis was all about him. He reached up, fingers holding Hollis’s cheek, just holding on for a minute. Turning, Hollis kissed his palm, hips starting to surge against him, cock pushing in deep. God, that man had rhythm. Yeah. Jesus.

  His toes curled, body trying to find Hollis’s rhythm, trying to match it.

  “Let me help, baby.” Oh, that was it. All he needed was Hollis’s hand under his ass, pulling him up into each thrust.

  “Yeah.” He nodded, that little bit enough to let him relax into it, body just fucking letting Hollis in.

  “Gonna kiss you now, baby. Got to.” He knew Hollis was warning him because of his thighs, but all he wanted was that mouth.

  “Uh-huh.” He pushed up on his elbows, the stretch burning, but in that deep, decent way.

  Eyes rolling, Hollis slammed into him, really going to town. Spreading him even more, Hollis bent down and took his lips, tongue pushing between them. He wrapped his lips around Hollis’s tongue, sucking hard, pulling in time with the tug and shove inside him. Moaning, Hollis kissed him, fucked him, the bed rocking under them. Squeaking springs marked each and every thrust. He felt it, balls to bones, the heat between them getting sharper and stronger with every thrust.

  “Need to. I gotta. Baby. Jeremy.” Incoherent as fuck, Hollis pushed him harder, faster, opening him up so good he could have screamed with it.

  Jeremy would have told Hollis to come on, but he was busy coming, busy shooting his brains out of his dick. Which was kinda funny, but he didn’t have time to laugh, because Hollis was shooting deep inside him, hollering and jerking. So damned beautiful.

  Hollis eased his leg down, hand running along his thigh, just petting him. “You all right, baby?”

  He opened his mouth to say yes, then remembered the paper. “How bad’s this whole picture thing gonna be for you?”

  “I’ll weather it.” Kissing his throat, Hollis laughed a little. “Hell, a little scandal might be good for the new project. It’s worked for a lot of guys. And if it doesn’t, too damned bad.”

  “Mmm.” He lifted his chin, let Hollis have more skin. He wasn’t sure, but he was pretty sure Charlie was going to come unhinged. Still, they had some time before that happened.

  They’d just have to take it one day at a time.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  THE POUNDING on the door came early—4:40 a.m. It wasn’t completely unexpected, but it sure was unwanted. Hollis groaned, reluctantly letting go of Jeremy’s warm body and crawling out of bed. He pulled on his jeans and went to meet Charlie.

  It had to be Charlie Gill. No one else could put so much disapproval and threat into a knock on the door.

  He checked the window before opening the door, though, just in case some grinning fool was out there with a camera.

  “Well, hey, Charlie. Fancy meeting you here.”

  “Have you lost your goddamn mind, son?” Charlie looked about as pissed as a man could be, all puffed up and red like an old rooster.

  “Well, just shout at me all out here in the open, why don’t you. Come on in, you old goat.” Might as well start out like he could hold out.

  Charlie stomped in, shaking his head. “Why’d you go fetch the boy, Hollis? Bring him to this place like he’s somebody…. Damn, son, you can’t be doing that.”

  “Shut up, Charlie. You can bitch at me all you want, but I won’t hear a bad word about Jeremy. So take another tack.” He just stepped right up to that puffy chest, looming like the fucking rock star he knew he could be.

  “I don’t have a fucking thing against the kid, Hollis, but is he worth throwing a career away for? No. Let me put him on a plane. Today. I got a lady trainer in a hotel. A few planned photo ops with a pretty blonde on your arm, you’ll be fine.”

  “No.” Everything in him rejected that, all the way. “I’m not gonna send him away like that, Charlie.”

  “What? Are you going to come out, then? Lose everything you’ve worked for because what? Some tight piece of ass has kept your attention?”

  He was going to hit the son of a bitch.

  “Jesus, you two are really loud.” Jeremy stood in the doorway in jeans and a T-shirt, looking pale as a sheet.

  “Sorry, baby.” Hollis kept his eyes on Charlie, though, after that first glance to make sure Jeremy was okay. “Charlie is venting.”

  “I am trying to assure that my star is not making a stupid mistake by following his dick instead of his good sense. No offense, kid.”

  “None taken.”

  Hollis sighed, scrubbing at his rough beard. “I need coffee. You need to shut up a minute. And Jeremy, you need to stop looking at me like that.”

  “No, kid. You need to pack your bags. I need you off this island.” Charlie pulled out a cigarette, sighed. “What a motherfucking mess.”

  “Christ, you’d think they’d caught us fucking or even touching. No, we were swimming. People do that.” His career wasn’t going down over one picture. Hell, if it did, he could sell the story to some book publisher and make a mint.

  “It’s a slippery slope. One day you’re swimming with your former trainer turned boy toy, next thing they’re slipping cameras in your hotel rooms and you’re the star of gay porn on the internet.”

  “Imagine the copyright and privacy invasion case we could work with that….” Hollis decided he needed either caffeine or a beer. The minibar had beer, so he settled for that.

  Jeremy sighed, ran one hand through his hair. “I’ll make coffee, Hollis.”

  Charlie rolled his eyes. “Jesus. I figured you’d get a few blow jobs out of the deal when I hired the kid, not a goddamn wife.”

  “Jesus, could you be more crass? I’m fucking sorry I found something in this whole dog-eat-dog business that made me happy.” Growling, Hollis threw the beer bottle at the wall. It made an amazing fucking crash.

  “Mr. Gill, I think you ought to leave. It’s late. Early. Whatever.” Jeremy headed over to the door, steady as all get-out.

  “Fuck off, kid. Remember the rules—no piece of ass is worth what Hollis has to lose.”

  “I know that.” Jeremy opened the door. “But there’s no reason to do this until a decent hour.”

  Look at his baby, being all Southern and reasonable and shit. That deserved another try at a beer. “He’s right. If there is anyone lurking around hunting for more tabloid fodder, you’re sure giving it. I’ll meet you at your hotel at noon.”

  “Okay. I’m over at the Hilton. Suite 985.” Charlie sighed, headed out as Hollis popped a top.

  “Asshole.”

  The door clicked shut, and Hollis went to close it, draining the beer like an old pro. “Well. That went well, baby.”

  “Yeah. Smooth as clockwork.”

  “So….” They could order breakfast
. Or run. Or something. Maybe just fuck. Hollis grimaced while his thoughts ran in circles.

  “It’s okay, Hollis.” Jeremy patted his shoulder and headed to the kitchenette for a bottle of water. “You want one?”

  “Yeah. Yeah, I could use a snack too, now I’m up.” Jeremy’s calm acceptance kind of worried him. Like maybe the man was in shock or something.

  “Okay. There’s all that fruit, still.” Jeremy tossed him a water bottle and started rinsing grapes. “Do you think it’ll be cool if I call you, once I get home? That’s not too much, is it? I mean, there’s no harm in being your former trainer turned friend, right?”

  “Baby. Don’t. Okay? This is…. I want more than that.” Dammit, that wasn’t selfish, was it? Jeremy had said the love word.

  “I do too.” Jeremy met his eyes, just giving it up for him. “But that doesn’t matter, does it? I mean, shit, I’m not worth losing your whole life over. We both know that, no matter how much I love you.”

  “Well, maybe I want different things out of life now.” God. It wouldn’t just ruin his career. It would hurt Charlie’s and wreck Jeremy’s, and goddammit, what the fuck was he supposed to do?

  “Liar.” Jeremy brought the fruit over, grinned at him, and goddamn that broke his fucking heart, that Jeremy was trying so hard. “Fruit, and drink your water. It’s good for you.”

  “So are you, baby.” His hand didn’t reach for the fruit. Nope, it went right up and cupped Jeremy’s cheek. “I’m not giving you up.”

  Jeremy turned into his touch, eyes closed tight, throat working. “I’m not dressing in drag so I can see you more often, Mr. Lee.”

  “You’d look like an East German swimmer.” A hard laugh slipped out. “I just need time to figure this.”

  “Yeah. We both need some sleep.” Jeremy eased down into his lap, hugging tight, so goddamn quiet.

  “We do. But promise me you won’t do anything rash, all right? We have at least a few days.” A few days. Please, God, just that much at least.

  Jeremy nodded, fingers on his back. “Yeah. Yeah, Hollis. We have a few days.”

  Nodding, Hollis fed them each a piece of fruit, the movement so normal, so regular now. The tangy grape actually tasted good, when he’d expected it to taste like sawdust.

  “Is it a lame thing to say that it would look like I was guilty if I left now, and that even studly rock stars are allowed to have friends?”

  “No. That’s the God’s honest truth.” See? He didn’t choose Jeremy just for his massages.

  “Oh, good.” Jeremy relaxed a little bit, fingers on his back. “Good.”

  “Uh-huh.” He leaned down, took a bright pineapple-and-grape-flavored kiss. Yeah, that was what he needed.

  And if Jeremy held on a little tight, eyes searching his a little too much, he wasn’t gonna say a goddamn thing.

  No, he was just gonna kiss and touch and take them back to bed. Screw everything else right now. Fuck Charlie and the new trainer girl and the press. Hollis just wanted Jeremy.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  JEREMY TOOK the trash to the dumpster and headed back in, smiling at the random lights people had put up. Man, that one apartment looked like Santa’s workshop exploded all over the balcony.

  He chuckled at the thought, unlocked his front door, and headed in. He had one of those cheesy fake palm trees wrapped in lights, the random odds and ends he’d brought home with him hanging on the fronds. It was actually kind of cute.

  It wasn’t an island paradise, but it would do.

  There hadn’t been a huge to-do or anything when he left. Hollis just glared at everything, and Mr. Gill puffed up, and hell, Hollis was on the gossip channels with film of him having dinner and drinks with a pretty blonde girl by the time Jeremy’d gotten home from the airport.

  It was all good.

  Of course, if one of the places he’d applied for a job would call, it would be better.

  Hell, if they didn’t, maybe he’d go back to school, get his master’s or something. Austin was an okay town. Or Dallas.

  Anywhere but here.

  The phone rang, startling him, making him laugh a little, after what he’d been thinking about someone needing to call.

  “’Lo?” He grabbed a stack of clean clothes from the arm of the sofa and went to put them in the closet.

  “Hey, baby. How’s it going?” Oh. He knew that voice to his bones. Ga-roooowl. Hollis.

  “Hey!” He grinned, plopped down on the edge of the bed. “How’s paradise treating you, beautiful? Saw you on the TV; you look fine.”

  “Well, it hasn’t exactly been paradise without you, that’s for sure. Are you eating?” Hollis was so worried about him. It was kind of adorable.

  “I’m fine.” He settled, watching his feet swing. “Been looking for work, all that happy stuff.”

  Been missing a certain growly rock star.

  Normal stuff.

  “Anything on the job?” Hollis had made Charlie Gill pay off all the medical shit, which had helped a lot, even if Charlie had growled. But they both knew he needed to work.

  “Not yet. It’ll come. If not here, then Dallas or Nashville. Somebody’ll need a trainer or at least a nutritionist.”

  “Of course they will.” A long pause stretched out, a little static filling the silence. “I want to see you for New Year’s, baby.”

  His eyes closed; he hated this. He hated being Hollis’s lie. It wasn’t ever going to change, and God knew he loved Hollis more than he hated hiding, but it still made him feel….

  Shit.

  “I’m all yours.”

  He heard a sharp indrawn breath, then a sigh. “I love you, baby. I’m sorry.”

  “Hey, there’s ten thousand people who want to be me. I’m good.”

  And what did that “I’m sorry” mean? Did it mean Hollis couldn’t see him?

  “You sure? I mean, I know this whole situation sucks hairy donkey balls. I just hate that I have to sneak around to see you.”

  “Well, that’s never going to change, so I’d better stay sure.” God, this was fucking depressing. He stood up and tossed the clothes onto the floor of the closet, shut it. “So where do I get to see you?”

  “I’ve got a benefit concert the day before Christmas. I could be there by Christmas Day.” Huh. From New Year’s to Christmas. Someone was pissy and making rash decisions.

  “What’re you benefiting? I thought you had the time off?” Jeremy could just see the fine son of a bitch.

  “Charlie thinks I need to get out in public and do a gig, remind people how fucking manly I am. It’s something with toys for kids.” Well, at least he knew Hollis liked kids.

  “People will like that. Don’t forget to stretch out before; all that hip grinding needs it.” It hit him then, hard, a sucker punch right in the gut. He loved stretching the man out, doing his work with that beautiful fucking body, just touching Hollis.

  “Yeah.” Hollis chuckled, the sound raspy as hell. “That won’t be the same without you either.”

  “Nope. It won’t.” He caught sight of himself in the mirror, shook his head. Dude, he was getting old. Almost thirty. Damn. “What all are you going to do today?”

  “I’ve got some mail to answer. Some shit to write out. I’ve got to get together for an hour-long songwriting session…. What was it you said? The usual shit.”

  “Sounds exciting.” Jeremy laughed a little, headed for the front room again. “I took out the garbage and put my clean clothes away.”

  “Oh, man, we’re just setting the world on fire. I miss you.” The words may have been sappy, but the tone was anything but. Rough as a cob.

  “Yeah, like a lost limb, man.”

  “Well, I tell you what. As soon as I can, I’ll be there. I figure I can make a big show of the bus going off to some resort for the holidays and come on down.”

  “Cool. I’ll be here. I have a Christmas tree and everything. You have a key.”

  His mom didn’t even have a key.


  “Yeah? Then I’ll be there.” Hollis growled. “Need you.”

  His moan just slipped out of him as he nodded.

  God. Yes.

  “Okay, baby. I got to go. I’ll talk to you again soon, okay?”

  Jeremy almost laughed. That man sounded pissed as hell. And not at him.

  “Take care of you, Hollis. I’ll see you soon.” He didn’t wait for Hollis to say goodbye; he’d already heard it enough.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  THE DRIVE had worn him down, but the pickup was decent enough, nothing fancy. Just comfy. And he had a buttload of shit for Jeremy. Hollis pulled out the bags, his gimme cap shading his face. Then he headed on up to the little apartment, hoping to hell Jeremy was there.

  Mikey was driving again, and the man had been a trooper, taking his family off to Disneyland in the tour bus. Charlie had near had a stroke. Hollis had laughed and laughed.

  He knocked on the door, shifting from foot to foot, wishing he hadn’t worn his damned boots. Vanity, thy name is Hollis, he thought.

  “Coming.” The chain rattled, and then the door opened, Jeremy right there, grinning for him.

  “Merry Christmas, man.”

  “Hey.” Oh man. He felt better already. Muscling in, Hollis put the bags down while Jeremy closed the door. Then he made his grab, pulled that compact body right up against his. “Merry Christmas, baby.”

  Jeremy nodded, pulled him right down into a kiss that liked to burn him down to the core. Hollis just cupped Jeremy’s head in his hands and held that sweet mouth to his, learning the taste and feel of Jeremy’s mouth all over again. Jeremy walked them back toward that little bedroom with its little bed, hand protecting his ass from the edge of the bar pass-through as they moved.

  Always looking out for him. Jeremy felt good, like he’d put some muscle back on, and he was hot as fire where they pressed together. Hollis moaned, pushing at the soft sweats keeping that skin from him. Jeremy helped, the shirt coming off in one move, the pants next. Then Jeremy got to work on him.

  His hat, jeans, and sweatshirt hit the floor, and Hollis hummed, his hands finding Jeremy’s ass to pull them together again. Heaven. That was what it felt like when his cock settled against Jeremy’s hip.