I Shall Survive Using Potions! Volume 1

by Funa

“Wh-What... What are you...”

  The only ones who had told Fernand “no” to one of his requests were his parents and his two friends. A bubbling anger built up inside him at being denied, until it swallowed him completely.

  He suddenly grabbed her arm and yanked her toward him. “Come with me!”

  “Ow! Stop it!”

  Fernand was trying to drag Kaoru away from the restaurant as she struggled against him.

  “A girl like you doesn’t belong here. You’re coming back with me!”

  Aimee and Agathe came running over to stand in front of him, and the other customers got up as well to block his path. The owner and the chefs also came sprinting out of the kitchen to stop him.

  “Get out of the way! Do you have any idea who I...”

  He stopped halfway through his sentence, suddenly coming to terms with the cold stares fixed solely on him. That, combined with the look of disgust in Kaoru’s eyes, caused him to lose the ability to speak. His head rapidly cooled off, and regret began building up inside him.

  What was I doing here? Was I really about to let slip the fact that I’m royalty?

  Fernand let go of Kaoru’s arm, then silently left the restaurant.

  “I’m sorry for causing so much trouble, everyone...”

  Kaoru looked absolutely crestfallen as she apologized, but the customers around her immediately tried cheering her up, telling her, “It’s not your fault at all, Kaoru!” and “We’ll be here to protect you anytime you need it, so don’t worry ‘bout it!”

  “A mug of ale on the house to everyone who stood in that guy’s way to protect Kaoru!” Cheers erupted inside the restaurant at the owner’s words, since every single customer there had stood up for her.

  It’d been three weeks since that incident. I hadn’t seen Fernie back at the restaurant since then, and I spent my days in relative peace. Everyone at my workplace and all the customers had been really good to me, and I took a day off every ten days to go the library to study up on where I was. Thanks to that, I’d gotten a pretty good grasp on everything I needed to know about this world—or this continent, I should say. I knew everything from the countries around me, and even their political climates.

  Just like what Charles had told me back when I was hitching a ride with him and his dad, the Kingdom of Brancott was located at the base of a peninsula that stuck out to the west. The country was surrounded by oceans to the north and south, and by four other countries to the west and east. The political situation here was relatively stable compared to the other countries, and, along with the Kingdom of Balmore to the north, Brancott was said to be a country that was very easy to live in. I’d say Celes ended up dropping me off in a pretty good place, considering it was her.

  As I was thinking all this over while sweeping around the entrance to the shop, a super fancy carriage came up and parked itself right in front of the restaurant.

  “You. Girl. Would this be the ‘Big Belly Bistro’?” An arrogant-sounding voice called out to me from the open window of the coach.

  That’s right, I almost forgot how generic-sounding this place’s name is...

  “Oh, yes, it is.”

  Even if I wanted to snuff him, nothing good would come of going against a noble—but I’d still go against them if I needed to of course.

  “Then would a girl by the name of ‘Kaoru’ be here?”

  “Y-Yes, that would be me...”

  Sirens were blaring in my head, telling me nothing about this was good.

  “What?!” With a shout, the man speaking stuck his face out the window. “You’re telling me that Kaoru is this little girl?!”

  Well excuuuse me for being little!

  Everything about the haughty, chubby man practically screamed “aristocrat.” He looked me up and down for a few seconds before sticking something that looked like a letter out the window of the coach. Don’t be so lazy about it, man...

  “Take it.”

  I didn’t say a word as I reached out and grabbed the letter from him. I couldn’t really just ignore him at this point after all.

  At the same time, someone stepped down from the other side of the coach and placed a decently sized trunk down on the side of the road. The window to the carriage closed, and the person who set the box down got back in before the cart trundled away without anyone explaining a thing to me.

  “...The heck is this?”

  I didn’t know what it was, but I did know I had a bad feeling about it. And, somehow, I didn’t think I was going to be wrong about that...

  I hadn’t touched the box at all, by the way. I mean, the guy hadn’t said anything to me about it, and he’d left it in front of the hardware store right by us instead of the restaurant. That was probably a delivery for someone else, that’s all. I’d just be a thief if I tried touching it, so touch I shan’t. No one said anything to me about it, and it was even delivered to a completely different place, so it didn’t have anything to do with me. Nope, nothing at all.

  After going back into the shop, I waited a little bit before checking again, only to find that the box was already gone.

  Yup, looks like whoever that was supposed to be delivered to picked up their stuff. All right, let’s move on to the problem at hand: the letter.

  I opened the envelope with great trepidation, and inside I found a single sheet of paper. It was an invitation to a party being held at the royal palace next week.

  All right, looks like my hunch was right on the money!

  ...I wasn’t happy about that at all though.

  Viscount Alemann wasn’t in a good mood. He’d been entrusted with delivering an invitation for the prince’s party being held next week, which was a good thing. This wasn’t an invitation that had been made en masse to be sent to the other party guests, but something given to him directly from the prince. This was something to be ecstatic about. The recipient was probably someone the prince’s heart was set on. He’d thought there must be some good fortune waiting for him at being made the bearer of such happy news...but the moment he thought that, he made the woeful discovery that the invitation was addressed to a commoner!

  The prince is using me, a viscount, as an errand boy for some commoner!

  He almost fainted from the humiliation. Not only was he being made to deliver this commoner’s invitation, but a trunk with a dress, shoes, and a handwritten letter from the prince himself. Was this girl his secret lover or something? Was he planning on revealing her in front of everyone at the party? He may be able to use that information to his advantage...

  ...is what Alemann thought, but it turned out the recipient was just a child. She did have good features, but the look in her eyes was awful; “make other children cry” awful. There was no feasible way she could be his lover. All Alemann could wonder was what sort of cruel joke this was...

  He had a job to deliver the prince’s letter personally, so he made sure to hold the farthest corner of the invitation as he handed it through the window of his coach so he wouldn’t have to risk being touched by a commoner. There was no need for him to hand over the box with the dress and shoes in it himself, so he made the attendant with him set it down. After finishing his unpleasant task, he immediately left for home.

  Oh, what a truly horrible day this was...

  Doesn’t look like I can wiggle my way out of this one, huh...

  I’d ignored that box from earlier on purpose, and it wasn’t like I didn’t have my hunches over what that invitation could be about. It was true I wanted someone here who would support me—but not like this.

  I already had tons of food packed away in my Item Box, as well as all the money I’d saved up from my job. I learned my lesson from last time and made sure to stock up on plenty of water too. Potions just didn’t do the trick when it came to washing your face...or that’s the feeling I got, at least.

  All right then. Time to prepare myself for the worst.

  Six days later, I had the manager and all my co-workers gather together after te
lling them I had something important to talk about. I came clean and told them how some higher up had singled me out and summoned for me tomorrow. I didn’t tell them about how they called me to the palace or anything, but I figured I should at least give them a heads up so it didn’t come back to bite me later. Everyone was shocked, and even recommended I run away right now if I didn’t like it, but I laughed it off and told them I would be fine. Aimee and Agathe were crying and clinging to me, but that wasn’t because they’d be losing their other source of income, right? Sorry about that, girls... Everyone else there was sad over me leaving as well.

  The past few months had been relatively peaceful, and I’d managed to get a grasp on this country’s culture, economy, and almost everything else you could want to know. Now would’ve been just the right time for me to look for a place to begin settling down...if this hadn’t happened. This town could’ve been where I started my new life proper, but it didn’t look like that was going to happen anymore.

  I would work lunchtime as normal tomorrow, then leave the restaurant for good right after. I couldn’t just run away now. I was going to the palace, just watch. I’d make sure to put an end to this, and in a way where they weren’t going to send people chasing after me again.

  The time was evening, and the place was the main entrance to the castle.

  “Excuse me...” a single noble girl called out to the guard standing at the gate. “I received an invitation for the party, so may I go through?”

  The guard was taken aback by her words. He knew there was a party being held today, and he knew of the droves of nobles who were invited as well. But if she was supposed to be nobility, normally she should have arrived with the rest of her family in a carriage bearing their family crest. At the very least, a noble’s daughter would never come walking up to a party. Ever.

  Though it was obvious she didn’t exactly look like the type of person to be invited to a party at the palace, she was wearing a dress no commoner would be able to get their hands on. Most importantly of all, she had an invitation. If he were to turn away the daughter of an aristocrat who was actually invited, heads would roll—more specifically, his. And that wasn’t a figure of speech.

  Those eyes... They were the eyes of someone who was used to tormenting those below her! She had to be the wicked daughter of some aristocrat’s family, no doubt about it! This wasn’t a girl to be trifled with!

  The girl gave the guard a slight bow before heading through the gate.

  Kaoru slipped in with the other guests pouring into the castle, wandering around to find a room to be in. She finally found herself a dressing room, filled with older and younger women alike fixing their dresses, tightening their corsages, redoing their makeup—it was pretty much an all-purpose room for girls here. She took off her “hand-me-down” from the baron’s daughter that she’d snuck off with during her escape a while back before changing into her maid outfit (also taken from the baron’s mansion). Who would have thought the daughter’s old clothes would come in handy so much?

  After she finished changing, Kaoru quietly left the room before finding an older maid with an air of dignity about her.

  “Um, excuse me. I was told to head where the party is...”

  The woman turned around, looking Kaoru over with bloodshot eyes. “Great, some backup from one of the other noble families! Do you have any experience serving drinks? Do you think you can hold about five or six glasses on a tray and walk around the room?”

  Though Kaoru couldn’t help but notice how scary the woman’s eyes were, she decided she wasn’t exactly one to talk.

  “Y-Yes, I’ve had some experience as a waitress...”

  “All right, then you’ll be a great help! Go into that room over there and find some clothes you can change into! After, head out to the party and circle around out there! If the supervisor out on the floor tells you anything different, follow their directions instead. Now hurry!”

  “A-All right!”

  Swept along at the woman’s urging, Kaoru dashed off to get changed.

  Prince Fernand had a sour look on his face as he scanned the venue of the party. It was around then that Allan came over to talk with him, finally back from home and wearing some clothes an actual noble would wear for once.

  “What’s with the scary face, Fernie? I heard this party was supposed to be some informal way of you choosing who you’d be getting hitched to, but none of the ladies are going to come close if you look like that.”

  Allan probably hadn’t gone back to the restaurant since he’d come back, since he didn’t bring up the incident with Fernand and Kaoru.

  “I was just looking for someone is all.”

  “Hmm... Looking for someone, huh...”

  An endless parade of aristocrats and potential bachelorettes had already come to visit with the prince, so there was no need for Fernand to look for anyone. Allan was well aware of this, which was why he looked a bit confused about what he just heard.

  “Fernand, none of your potential marriage candidates are going to come near you if you keep that look on your face.”

  “You too? Really?”

  As Fabio showed up to make that comment, it was fairly obvious Fernand was fed up over hearing the same thing again. But Fabio’s next words, however, caused his eyes to fly wide open.

  “By the way, I just saw that Kaoru girl not too long ago. I wonder why she’s here... She looked quite busy, so I didn’t have the chance to ask her myself.”

  “What?! Where, where did you see her?!”

  Fabio and Allan were a bit taken aback when faced with Fernand’s sudden change in attitude.

  “Well, uh...she was just over there a moment ago...”

  Fernand dashed off immediately in the direction Fabio pointed, his two friends hurrying to follow after him.

  “Hey! What’s up with you all of a sudden?!”

  Allan and Fabio were thrown for a loop seeing Fernand do a complete about-face after sulking around until now.

  “Hm? Oh, I thought she’d just been ignoring my invitation, but it looks like she’s here after all.”

  “An invitation?” Fabio looked confused upon hearing those words. “But she wasn’t exactly—”

  When Fernand finally spotted Kaoru, he ended up yelling in shock. “Wh-Why are you wearing that outfit?! And why are you working as a server out here?!”

  “Well, I’m a waitress...and I’m a waitress. Don’t you think it’d be normal for me to wear this?” Kaoru answered cooly. But on the inside...

  So it was him behind this after all...

  A silence fell over the room at the commoner girl’s disrespectful attitude toward the prince.

  “I’m not talking about that! I’m asking why a guest I invited here is working as a maid!”

  A guest???

  The nobles around them were in silent shock over those words.

  “I mean, I’m just a commoner girl working as a waitress. If someone told me to come to a party at the castle without any explanation whatsoever, don’t you think I’d assume it was to help out with the wait staff? There’s no way I could be a guest. I don’t even have a dress for these things,” Kaoru answered indifferently.

  “Wh-What...?!” Fernand went speechless for a moment, then yelled out across the room. “Viscount Alemann! Where is Viscount Alemann?!”

  “Y-Yes, right here!” Alemann came running through the crowd after his name was called.

  Fernand fixed the man with a glare. “Viscount Alemann, I specifically made a request to you, did I not? Deliver her the invitation, the dress, the shoes, and my letter. How do you explain this?!”

  “I-I certainly delivered them to her!” the viscount stammered, sweating bullets.

  “You say that, but look at her!”

  “Oh, is this the person who came to the restaurant? All he said back then was ‘take this’ and handed me the invitation to the castle before leaving,” Kaoru answered Fernand’s question for Alemann.

  “What about
the dress and the letter?!”

  “I haven’t the faintest idea...”

  “That is not true!” The viscount turned white as a sheet when he heard their conversation. “I delivered that box with the dress, shoes, and your letter in it!”

  “Box? Are you talking about the package delivered to the place next door?”

  ““...What?””

  “Well, another person came out of the carriage and left a box or something near the shop next to ours...”

  “Wh-What happened to that package?!” Fernand shouted furiously.

  “He didn’t say anything about it, so I wasn’t going to go and take a package that I thought was for the store next door. When I checked in on it a little while after, the box was already gone. I thought whoever it was for took it away.”

  “Then the dress...and my letter...” Fernand shot a menacing glare at Alemann. “What is the meaning of this? We’ll be discussing this in detail later, Viscount Alemann.”

  It seemed like the growl in Fernand’s voice was coming from the depths of hell itself. All color had drained from the viscount’s face as he began quivering.

  “But that doesn’t matter now!” Fernand one-sidedly continued the conversation. “Though you may be here because of a misunderstanding, what matters is that you’re here. This is nothing to worry about. Now, come here! I’ll introduce you to everyone as my wife to be.”

  “““Whaaaaaat?!”””

  The nobles, Allan and Fabio, and Kaoru herself all let out a cry of shock.

  “Wh-What in the world do you think you’re saying?!” I shook off Prince Fernand’s hand as he tried dragging me up onto the stage. “There’s no way a commoner could do that!”

  “There’s no problem if we just have you become the adopted daughter of some earl’s household.”

  “You have the order of this all wrong!” I fire off a rebuttal at the prince’s words. “I should have been adopted before you asked to marry me! Even then, you would have to make sure to not let anyone pry into my past or where I came from, but no one’s going to believe that after I’ve already announced to everyone that I’m just a commoner! Not only a commoner, but a waitress at that! I would just be made fun of behind my back, and none of the aristocrats from other countries would even think about talking with me!”