Shattered Dreams (Dreams Series Book 1)

by Hicks, Braxton

  Trey’s face was suddenly right in front of mine. He looked angry. I'd really pissed him off this time. Maybe he was still angry at me for racing Jezebel. He started shaking me roughly.

  “I promise I won’t ride anymore. Just stop, please. Trey please just stop…”

  “Tylar!” He was shaking my shoulders. His hands moved to my face, running his fingers along my jaw line. They felt wet. The room was light. The electricity had come back on. My window A/C unit was humming again; the air was cool. There was no more lightning and thunder.

  “Did the rain stop?” I asked. “Why are your hands wet?”

  I realized then that my face had tears running down both cheeks. His hands were wet from my tears. He looked totally concerned.

  “Damn," he said, taking his place beside me on the bed. He pulled me out from under my covers, and onto his lap. His hands gently stroked locks of my hair. "What did she do to you? Tell me what she did to you."

  Chapter 12

  I awoke and saw the sun streaming in through my bedroom window. My window A/C unit hummed. I stretched languidly and realized that Trey’s arm was wrapped around my waist. I foggily remembered a tumultuous dream; I was glad he was here. My mind turned to the break-in and confusion of the night before. I glanced over to my dresser and the two blue velvet boxes were still there, quite real. The reality of the jewelry wasn't part of the nightmare, that puzzle still required solving.

  I gently rolled over, careful not to wake Trey. I wanted to watch him in all his gorgeousness and try to remember pieces of the night before. As I watched Trey sleep, I was amazed that this beautiful man cared about me. I wasn't sure of his motivation.

  My mom had always repeated to me that men simply weren’t to be trusted. She'd once told me that she'd held on to her virginity until her wedding night with my dad. She'd confided to me that I was conceived the very first time she had marital relations. She explained that was the reason she was fanatical about practicing safe sex. She claimed my father had lost interest in her after I was born and went elsewhere for romance.

  Trey’s hair was mussed from sleep. I reached my hand up and brushed some hair back off of his brow. He stirred feelings in me that I'd never known.

  I exited noiselessly from the bed, and slipped into my robe and slippers. I quietly opened the bedroom door and went out to the kitchen, shutting the door softly behind me. I put the coffee on figuring Trey to be a coffee drinker. I checked the fridge and got out the eggs, milk, and cheese for an omelet. I could hear Trey stirring in the bedroom, then the bathroom sink running.

  When Trey emerged I had to giggle. He was wearing my older shabby blue bathrobe. It was pretty tight on him and the sleeves went only to his elbows. “You look nice this morning,” I greeted him cheerily. He cocked one eyebrow, scratching the back of his head and immediately grumbled for coffee. My man wasn't a morning person.

  “Sit down,” I instructed, and filled one of the mugs with steaming coffee. “Cream or sugar?” I asked sweetly.

  “Black is fine,” he said, yawning, as I handed him the mug.

  He took a sip of coffee and then another. I handed him a plate with toast and an omelet and sat down across from him with my plate.

  “This looks great,” he said as he started digging in, “Umm…it's good.”

  “I’m glad you like it,” I said.

  “What do you have planned for today?” he asked, looking up from his plate, chewing thoughtfully.

  "I really hadn’t planned anything. Just playing it by ear I guess.”

  “Do you want to take Derringer out for a ride?”

  I was shocked. What happened to, “Nobody mounts my horse but me?” I wasn’t about to throw that up to him now.

  “Well sure, you mean together?”

  He frowned at me. “That's the idea. I mean if you want to start exercising him in the arena, you need to get used to him. I thought maybe we'd ride him together.”

  “It sounds great to me. When do you want to do this?”

  He glanced down at his Rolex. “I’ve got to get back to my house and clean up. I have a few e-mails to answer. Let’s meet at the stables in a couple of hours, around noon?”

  “It’s a date,” I answered smiling.

  ∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

  It was just past 11:30 a.m. when I headed down to the barn, making absolutely sure that my cottage was locked. It felt anxious in there now since I knew that someone had let themselves in, leaving those boxes in my bed. Someone from my past.

  I entered the barn and walked down the aisle between the horse stalls to the tack room. Opening my locker, I grabbed my hunt cap and riding gloves and zipped my half-chaps up over my jeans. I heard a man’s voice in the aisle. Peeking out the tack room door, I was relieved to see it was Trey. I was more skittish these days than any horse in the stable.

  My stomach had butterflies as I watched Trey get Derringer saddled up. He knew what he was doing. He'd put an all-purpose saddle on Derringer for today. Trey was dressed impeccably in English riding garb. He was wearing a white linen shirt, with fawn colored breeches that clung to his well-muscled thighs and tight ass. His black field boots shone. I was already taking much pleasure watching his sinewy moves as he readied the horse. He put his riding gloves on after he finished adjusting Derringer’s bridle, having been assured the fit was gentle.

  As I gazed at him, in the back of my mind my mom’s nagging witch’s voice was harping to my subconscious convincing my id that Trey was too handsome, too rich, too polished, and too classy for trash like me. I pushed the thoughts down.

  Trey smiled when he saw I had arrived and I joined him in the aisle. Together we led Derringer out of the stable, halting at the mounting block on the lawn. Trey mounted Derringer expertly and I looked up at him.

  “Where do you want me?” I asked cautiously.

  “Well for now, how about up on the horse with me?” He grinned mischievously as he lowered his left arm down and with little effort, swung me up, placing me right in front of him. I was encircled by his arms; my head resting comfortably against his chest. With a squeeze of his calves against the horse’s sides, we were off at a walk.

  After a few moments of walking, we'd left the stable far behind us and came to an open meadow. Trey leaned down and whispered in my ear.

  “Ready to pick up the pace?”

  I nodded.

  At the far end of the meadow, there was a crystal clear stream and plenty of shade trees. He reined the horse over to a large tree that offered ample shade. A couple of yards away, there was a large log lying horizontally on the ground that bordered the stream. Trey slid down off of the horse, taking me with him. I was puzzled by the short ride, but my instincts told me that we were going to have a discussion first. Play later. He dropped Derringer’s reins to the ground. The horse happily stayed close, eating grass.

  “Come with me,” he held out his hand and I slipped mine into it. We walked over to the log, and Trey straddled it, pulling me down once again in front of him. This time I was facing him. I looked up at him questioningly.

  He smiled and held out his hands, pulling me close to him, cupping my chin gently with his hand, and tipping my face up to meet his eyes. Those sapphire blue eyes were so intense and yet tender at the same time. He gazed at me from beneath his dark lashes and I knew it was time. It was time for me to feel his full lips on mine and, God, I wanted to!

  He pulled me closer, his arms wrapped around my back and shoulders. I could feel the strong beat of his heart against mine.

  I felt his fingers tilting my chin up, so that our eyes locked.

  Damn…

  He lowered his mouth to mine, his lips warm and soft, gently meeting mine. He took his time, his lips molding themselves to my lips, claiming this first kiss softly. I warmed against his touch - everywhere. His tongue traced my lower lip, teasingly; my belly tingled as I felt his hands cupping my face, and his thumbs rubbing gentle caresses on my neck, just beneath my earlobes. His tong
ue found mine and it was as if they found perfect sync, dancing gently, exploring tentatively. I felt a soft moan of pleasure escape from my throat as I pushed my breasts against Trey, wondering what it might feel like to have his full lips on them; and his magic tongue circling the peaks over and over again.

  Too soon, Trey pulled back just a bit, bringing the kiss to closure with soft butterfly kisses on my lips and face. My eyes fluttered open and were immediately captured by his sapphire ones. They were intense; totally sexy and damned if they weren't kind of smoldering, too.

  “I need you to know something Tylar,” his tone now serious. “I'll never go beyond the boundaries of what you permit me to do as far as touching you. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

  “I think so,” I whispered, studying his expression closely. Wanting to get right back to what we'd been doing just a few seconds ago.

  He continued, “I'll never let our relationship get physical beyond what you're ready for, regardless as to whether you communicate otherwise, okay?”

  I felt myself turn beet red. I pulled my legs up, folding them in front of me like a fort of protection. I wrapped both arms around my bent legs and lowered my face so that my chin was resting on my knees. I avoided his eyes, feeling a bit embarrassed and ashamed. I suspected he had guessed that I was a virgin. Trey reached out with his hand, tilting my chin back up, forcing me to look into his eyes. Eyes that now seemed to be searching mine for… something.

  “You've nothing to be ashamed of, do you understand that? We're going to make this right, damn it, I promise you that.”

  Rewind. What?

  Obviously, he had figured out that I was a virgin. I wondered if it had been in the way I kissed. It wasn't like I hadn't kissed before, but I loved that he was telling me that I'd no reason to be ashamed of my virginity. What I totally wasn't getting though was his promise that “we” were going to make it right. He sensed my confusion.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked softly.

  “I do,” I answered, “but I'm a little bit embarrassed and a tad confused.”

  “Just tell me what confuses you, and remember that there's no need to be embarrassed about anything. It's not your fault.”

  “Okay, here goes. I'm going to just blurt it out because I don't candy-coat stuff. That's just not my style.”

  He nodded, ready for it.

  “I mean I love that you're okay with the fact that I'm still a virgin and all,” I blurted, “but what I don’t understand is your promise to make that right when you refuse…uhhh…you are reluctant to make love to me, because I guess you think that I’m not ready. So, I guess my question is how much longer do you think my virginity needs to stay intact?”

  I looked at him and suddenly realized I'd totally blown his mind. He couldn’t say that I hadn’t warned him about my bluntness. I continued to watch him closely, waiting for a response. His expression was that of shock or confusion. Maybe a little bit of both.

  “You’re a virgin?” he finally sputtered. “I had no idea. My God, are you sure?”

  What? I mean…WHAT?

  “Am I sure? I think I'd know, don’t you?" I croaked loudly.

  He looked stunned.

  "What the hell did you mean when you said that I had nothing to be ashamed of and that we would make it right then if you weren’t referring to my virginity?”

  “I was referring to what I presumed to be some sort of…sexual abuse from your past. I mean…the dreams, or nightmares or whatever you want to call them and then there's your aversion to talking about them. I guess I just assumed it was some type of…sexual battery from years ago."

  “Are you serious?" I asked, totally blown away by his assumption. "I mean don’t you think that I'd know it if I had been sexually abused?”

  He was thoughtful for a moment. “How do you explain the dream last night?”

  “It was a nightmare. I’ve had a few since my concussion. They're weird and a little scary, I admit that, but to think they indicate I've been raped or abused? I don't see how you got there."

  “In last night’s dream you were screaming things at me. You were asking me why I was letting ‘her’ use me to hurt you. You then screamed that you could do those things, and that you could be what she is.”

  “So?” I asked, defensively. “None of that sounds like I was raped does it?”

  “Who is she?” Trey demanded. He didn't wait for an answer. "She is your mother, isn't it? And who is Daniel?"

  His eyes were searching mine for an answer. I was afraid to trust him with this secret. I didn't want to believe it was true. Hell, even I wasn't sure if it was real or not.

  “Daniel was my high school boyfriend who took me to prom,” I replied, not daring to look Trey in the eye. “I guess I must've dreamt about my prom while I was in the hospital. Daniel and I were going to make love for the first time after prom, but it never happened.”

  “Why didn’t it happen?” he pressed.

  “I’m not sure,” I mumbled. “Probably because I got drunk and then sick, and then passed out. Like I said last night, remember?"

  “Is that all that happened?” he asked softly.

  “Yes,” I lied.

  “Your nightmares seem to be focused around your mother,” he commented. “Are you sure that there isn’t more you’re not telling me?”

  His questions were starting to make me feel defensive. “What if it is my mother in those dreams? What does that prove? It doesn’t prove that I was sexually molested or raped, or that I’m…frigid.”

  “Who said anything about you being frigid?” he asked, his eyes flashing. “Is that what frightens you? Because I don't think you have a thing to worry about there. No, there's something else you’re not telling me. Why won’t you trust me?” he prodded.

  “There's nothing to tell,” I replied, not hiding my irritation. “I have a shitty mother, so what? A lot of kids grow up with shitty mothers and absent fathers. I guess we can’t all be brought up with perfect parents, perfect educations, and perfect lives. Some of us simply do the best we can with the cards we're dealt.”

  “Don’t go there with me,” he warned. “This isn't about me at the moment. Trust me, I've had my share of drama and heartache in my thirty years, but right now, we're talking about you."

  “Maybe both of us are presuming too much about the other. I want to know what your life has been like. You want to know everything about me, yet you share nothing about yourself. Why?"

  “I'll tell you whatever you want to know when the conversation is about me. Right now it's about you and you're skirting the issue. I want to know what happened that makes you have these nightmares."

  I realized that Trey was sincere, and for whatever reason, he cared.

  “I can’t explain the nightmares because when I dream, I'm not sure what is reality and what is fantasy—or at the very least, symbolism. I can tell you that if anyone has the answers, it’s probably my mom.”

  “Good,” he answered. “Then maybe it's time to find your mother and get those answers."

  He did his best to change the mood after our discussion. We walked back over to the horse and put our helmets back on. He lifted me astride Derringer, and for the next twenty minutes led me down a path that opened up into a perfect riding arena. It was circular, fenced in, and private.

  Sliding down off the horse, he handed Derringer’s reins to me and cautioned me to trot for a while, letting Derringer get used to the feel of my reining him. The horse and I moved around the perimeter of the arena, practicing our halt-walk-trot transitions. He yielded effortlessly to my leg signals and slowed to a walk when I sank low in the saddle. I let out an exaggerated exhale and the horse halted. I knew then that he was an expertly trained dressage horse.

  Around two, Trey asked if I was hungry. I was famished. He climbed up behind me once again, taking the reins, which allowed me to settle back against him. I was getting my ‘Trey-fix’ two days in a row and I loved it.

  Once w
e were back at the stables, Charlie Roberts was inside feeding the horses and cleaning their stalls. He seemed surprised to see me with Trey. He eyed me a bit warily, and again, I got a creepy feeling. Trey appeared not to notice. He dismounted then turned and lifted me off the horse. Trey called Charlie over, handing him Derringer’s reins.

  “Will you untack and rub him down?” Trey asked. A dark look passed over Charlie, as if he felt put out for having to care for Trey’s horse. It did not go unnoticed by Trey.

  “Do you have a problem with that, Mr. Roberts?”

  “Not one bit,” Charlie replied, his face expressionless. He turned away and led Derringer down the aisle toward his stall. Trey gazed after him for a moment, his face unreadable. He turned back to me, all signs of irritation gone, and smiled.

  “Let’s go eat, Ms. Preston. I’ve got just the place in mind.”

  He took my hand and we turned to leave the stable. Behind us, I heard Charlie mutter something. I couldn’t be certain, but it sounded like, “uppity bitch.” I looked over at Trey, but he was reaching for his phone, having been beeped with an e-mail message. He scanned it, and then shut the phone off. He'd not heard the muttered remark.

  Chapter 13

  “Trey,” I whined as he tugged me across the lawn toward his car, “shouldn’t I change if we're going out for lunch?”

  He laughed playfully, displaying his glorious dimple. “It’s just lunch and you look great,” he said. “Trust me, it’s nothing fancy.”

  We passed through Bristol where most everything in the small town was closed on this Sunday afternoon. Just outside of town, Trey downshifted into the parking lot of a lone brick building with a neon sign in the window blinking “Open.” The door read “Morelli’s Fine Italian Dining.” Trey parked, got out, and opened my door, helping me up from the low-ride seat. As soon as we walked in, the aroma of Italian cuisine enveloped me. I was ravenous. A smiling matron came over to greet us. It was obvious that she knew Trey.