Shattered Dreams (Dreams Series Book 1)

by Hicks, Braxton

  “It’s just because of the baby,” I replied, blowing my nose on his starched handkerchief.

  “It’s not,” he stated firmly, “it’s you he adores.”

  “Then why’s she calling him? Why all the secrecy?”

  Tristan sighed heavily, taking my arm and leading me down the drive away from the house. “Tylar,” he started, “can you please trust me on this? I promise you that the truth will be out very soon. It’s Christmas and, as much as our family and Tess’s family have a long history with one another, there are some skeletons that’ll be coming out of the closet very soon. Not today though. Today is about Christmas.”

  I looked up into his deep green eyes and I saw sincerity and honesty. I nodded.

  “Good,” he replied, smiling. He pulled me into a brotherly hug, wiping my tears with his thumbs. From behind us, someone cleared his throat. Landon.

  “Merry Christmas, Tristan,” he nodded, smirking as he walked by toward the house. He glanced at me, his lip curled in contempt. “I see you’ve moved on, Ms. Preston. At least you’re keeping it in the family.”

  I started to angrily respond but Tristan shook his head, cautioning me to let it go. As soon as Landon went inside, Tristan turned back to me.

  “Let it be,” he said gently. I nodded but it was difficult. I'd never been exposed to the type of treatment or hateful attitude displayed by Caroline and Landon. The thought crossed my mind as to just how perfect they would be together. Tristan and I continued our walk in the crisp December air.

  "You and Trey seem so alike--and yet different," I said, realizing that it made no sense.

  “Yes,” he admitted, “but in looks only. Trey is much more of a stubborn hothead than I am, I’m afraid. But he also has a very compassionate streak that many people don’t recognize. I think that’s what’s making you feel insecure right now. His love and his commitment to you is genuine, you must believe it.”

  From the front of the house, a door slammed. Tristan and I looked over as Caroline emerged onto the porch. Nigel followed close behind. She had no coat on. She staggered with a bottle of wine in her hand, periodically taking swigs from it.

  “Dear God,” Tristan murmured, “What now?”

  “Keep away from me you cheating son-of-a-bitch!” she screamed, swatting at him with her arms. “You didn’t think I’d find out? She was like a sister to me you bastard!”

  Landon joined Nigel on the porch, trying to coax Caroline back inside. Caroline turned on Landon, screaming at him. “You knew didn’t you?” she accused as she circled him, pointing her finger. “How could you betray me like that?” She upended the wine bottle on his head, dousing him with dark red wine. Landon spoke to her quietly.

  Tristan’s face turned ashen. “Oh shit,” he warned, “get ready for some skeletons. This is about to get ugly.”

  Tristan and I stood watching when I suddenly felt a hand touch my shoulder from behind. It was Trey, still agitated but slightly more sober after his conversation with Tess. I could tell he wasn't pleased with the attention Tristan was paying me.

  “Tristan, will you drive Tylar and me back to the manor? I’ve had too much to drink and Nigel is driving my car back.”

  Tristan nodded, still eyeing the scene on the front porch. By this time, both Nigel and Landon’s parents had joined the others, trying to neutralize the situation. Tristan reached in his pocket for the keys to Susan’s BMW and drove us to the manor. Trey instructed him to wait.

  Trey saw me to the door. "I want you to go up to our suite; I have some things to settle yet with my family and the Andrews. I'm heading back with Tristan. I won't be long."

  Once inside, I hurried up the steps to our bedroom, exhausted from the drama and the secrets. I undressed wondering what Trey had meant by things to settle. I was sure another argument was brewing. I pulled on one of his tee shirts and climbed numbly under the sheets. I fell against the pillow, disheartened. I wished we were back in our apartment in Atlanta. Our life seemed normal there, happy and content. I never dreamed normal families could be so dysfunctional.

  It was much later when I heard Trey come into the room. He climbed underneath the covers moving close to me. Maybe he was no longer angry. His hands slipped underneath the sheets and pulled me close to him. He had no way of knowing that I was even awake, but I didn’t think it mattered to him. He hooked his thumb inside the elastic waistband of my panties, pulling them down to my knees, slipping them lower over my feet and off. He pulled the covers back, grasping my tee shirt and pulling it up over my head. I was totally naked now, but making no effort to encourage him. If he thought I was going to respond to his sexual foreplay after he’d had secret discussions with Tess, he was wrong.

  “Trey, stop…don’t,” I murmured against his urgent lips. He paid me no heed as he continued his pursuit of pleasure down the column of my throat, licking and teasing my nipples to erection. I moved my hands down, tangling my fingers into his damp locks. I fisted his hair, tugging to pull him away. I didn’t want him to pleasure me; I didn’t want him to pleasure himself. He was oblivious to my denial.

  “Stop,” I demanded, “I don’t want this now. I need you to tell me what the hell is going on!” I tried to wriggle away from him, but his hands locked around mine in a vice-like grip, raising my arms up over my head, pinning them down against the mattress.

  “You're mine,” he said. I could smell the whisky on his breath. I realized then the depth of his anger. A small spark of fear trickled through me. Was this going to be a punishment screw? What was my crime?

  “What’s this about?” I begged, as his teeth tugged at my earlobe.

  He leaned over and switched on the bedside lamp. “My love is given freely, Tylar. I’ve surrendered my heart to you; I haven’t, however, relinquished my masculinity in the process. I won’t tolerate your dismissive treatment. Do you understand?” His eyes bore into mine. He expected an answer. I swallowed nervously.

  “Yes,” I answered, nodding.

  “Good,” he replied. He smiled down at me, revealing his sexy dimple. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “So,” he said, “are you ready to hear what happened tonight after we dropped you off?”

  “How messed up is it?” I asked.

  “It’s pretty crazy. You may decide to run screaming back to Kentucky.”

  “Doubtful, Trey. Knowing all that you do about me and my baggage, it couldn’t possibly rival that.”

  Trey shot me a “wanna bet” look.

  “First things first. The reason Tess called me was to get some confidential legal advice. Despite our past, she knows that she can trust me and I think you’ll understand why it had to be me she called for help. Apparently, Tess and Nigel are in love.”

  I gasped, sitting bolt upright in disbelief.

  “No!” I choked, “Really?”

  Trey nodded. “Tess spent a lot of time with Caroline in Napa; Zach spent a lot of time on the road jockeying. Tess said she was never compatible with her husband; she clearly saw that Caroline wasn't happy or compatible with Nigel. They formed a friendship borne out of mutual misery, it seems. When Zach was around during off-season, the two couples would go yachting together. The affair has been going on for several years. Tristan knew about it. The only reason I found out was through Tess.”

  I studied his expression, eager to see whether it bothered him that his ex-fiancée had been screwing his own brother. He didn’t appear fazed at all.

  “Zach found out about the affair and threatened to tell Caroline if Tess didn’t agree to his terms for a divorce. Tess brought most of the wealth into that marriage and Zach basically wanted it all. I advised Tess not to agree to Zach’s terms, that she and Nigel needed to come clean with Caroline. That was their plan for after the first of the year. Tonight when Landon arrived, all of that changed. He came inside dropping digs about seeing you and Tristan outside hugging.”

  He stopped, a frown crossing his face. His expression changed to sheepishness when he contin
ued. “I was pissed, and pretty drunk, so I made an off-the-cuff remark about people in glass houses not throwing stones. Landon was immediately on the defensive. He asked me how the fuck I knew about it. I told him a family member had divulged the whole sordid secret. He immediately went to Tess and started threatening to out her. I was extremely confused about why Nigel’s affair with Tess would infuriate Landon. To make an already long story short, Landon misunderstood my comments. He thought I was referring to the affair that he’s been having with Caroline.”

  “Seriously?” I exclaimed, my voice rising.

  Trey shushed me while nodding his head. Apparently, Landon had confided in Tess, not knowing that Tess was in love with Nigel.

  “This should be on Jerry Springer.”

  Trey nodded and pressed on. “Anyway, by this time, everything unraveled. Caroline was mad because Nigel had been cheating with Tess and because Landon knew and hadn’t told her out of loyalty to his sister.”

  “And your parents?”

  “I’m quite sure both sets of parents are extremely disgusted with it all.”

  “Where’s Caroline now?”

  “She left with Landon. Nigel’s back here and Tess is with her family. Caroline is flying back to California tomorrow. This is their problem to sort out now. I’m glad everything’s out in the open. By the way, while everyone was airing their dirty laundry tonight, I clarified something to both families.”

  “What was that?” I asked.

  “They all know now that the baby Tess miscarried was Zach’s, not mine. Feel better?”

  “Yes,” I said, sighing, “for some reason I really do.”

  “That doesn’t mean that the friendship between my parents and the Andrews won’t be strained for a while, but in reality, everyone seems to be with the person that they really want to be with for now.”

  “What about you?”

  “I’m with the person I love, but she won’t marry me. It bothers me; I can’t lie. What’s to say after our baby is born you won’t find another reason to avoid marrying me. I understand what frightens you. I really do.”

  “What frightens me?”

  “Your past,” he answered, “and the fact that you feel as if you're a product of it. You’re not one bit like your mother.”

  “How can you be so sure?”

  “I can see what you’re made of and it’s all good.”

  “I don’t have a point of reference on marriage,” I admitted, shrugging. “I’ve been left to my own devices since childhood. I’m independent. I don’t know if I can adapt. We fight a lot, too.”

  “We can find our way together, Tylar,” he answered softly. “It’s new to me, too. There will be disagreements and arguments, that's to be expected.”

  “I get that, but you're extremely bossy. You have to let me make some of my own decisions.”

  “I will. I promise. Let’s get some sleep now,” he said softly, pulling the covers up over us. “We can talk more in the morning, on our way home.”

  “We’re leaving tomorrow?” I asked, surprised.

  “Oh yeah, I’ve had enough family for one holiday.” He leaned over, resting his hand on my abdomen and kissing my lips softly. The distance between us had closed. We felt the fluttering at the same time.

  “Did you feel that?” Trey asked, excitement in his voice, sitting up and raising the covers off of me.

  “Uh, yeah, probably more than you did,” I laughed. Trey was resting his ear on my abdomen now, grinning like a fool. “What do you expect to hear down there?” I asked.

  “I’m not sure,” he replied, “Maybe some swishing around or something?”

  I giggled at his absurdity. I knew that Trey was going to make a wonderful father and husband.

  It was me that I was unsure of at the moment. There was just too much unfinished business with my mother and my messed-up past. She was still out there and she had some explaining to do. And deep down inside of me, I knew that once I found her, I'd make damn sure I got those answers.

  North Bay Hospital, May 2nd

  Gina's pacing back and forth in front of my hospital bed. She's holding her phone up to her ear, nervously cracking her chewing gum. She's giving Ian another update on my progress.

  “She’s still at six centimeters, Ian, same as when you called ten fucking minutes ago,” she says, her irritation undisguised. “Christ how in the hell should I know how long it’ll take her to get fully dilated? How many babies have I squeezed out?”

  Gina turns and looks over at me to see if I'm having another contraction. She is astute at reading my white knuckles, having been by my side for the past two hours. She whirls back around snapping her gum and trying to lower her voice on my account I'm sure.

  “No, he’s not here yet,” she whispers hoarsely into her phone. “His personal assistant is over at the courthouse now trying to get word to him. I don’t know; some big class action lawsuit that’s been going on for days.” She steps closer to the door. “Dig this, a bunch of desperate housewives are suing some publishing house for glorifying sadistic sex in some freaking erotica novels…hell yes I’m for real,” she giggles, “Apparently, they decided to try some of the shit they read about and got permanently injured…down there. Is that not a hoot?”

  Oh God, I feel another gut-wrenching contraction rising. I will not scream. I will not scream.

  “What do you mean which side is Trey representing? The fucking housewives for Chrissake, Ian! He’s an attorney for class action plaintiffs, duh?”

  She turns back to face me, rolling her eyes. I grip the rails on my hospital bed, bracing for the rolling wave of pain that's thrashing inside of me. I squeeze my eyes shut.

  “Shit, Ian, I gotta go! Tylar’s having another contraction.”

  Gina is at my side, instructing me to do the hee-hee-hees in three-beat sequences. The pain of the contraction starts to subside. I'm now being instructed by my “labor Nazi” to take a deep, cleansing breath.

  Shit this hurts!

  “You're doing great, Ty. I really mean it girlfriend.” Gina dabs my sweaty forehead with a damp washcloth that she nagged “Nurse Ratched” for earlier. Gina assigned the name to the nurse immediately upon our arrival, but I don’t think she is so bad. “More ice chips, Ty?” she asks, reaching for the cup.

  “Yes please, Gina. And by the way, where the hell is Trey?”

  “Don’t worry. His assistant has my number. I told her to call me as soon as she gets the message to him in court. Chill out. That’s an order.” She winks as she scoots out of the room to go and demand more ice chips from Nurse Ratched. I'm glad that at least Gina can be here with me.

  The ordeal with Charlie Roberts and the plea bargain was finalized in January. The evidence had been released back to me. I asked Trey to dispose of the notes and plum silk pajamas. I never wanted to lay eyes on any of it again. I still have the jewelry boxes with the necklace and the pearl drop earrings. I learned that my mother had sent those to Charlie as a down payment of sorts for the dirty work. If the jewelry truly is a link to my biological father, then I'll hold on to it for now.

  I think about my mother and the numbness sinks in as it always does when I reflect upon how little I really knew about her and how well she hid so many secrets from me. Perhaps “secrets” is the wrong word; you could say she raised me in an environment filled with lies and deceit. I've learned over the past several months to stop reprimanding myself for being naïve to it.

  Trey says it's perfectly normal for children to view a parent, no matter how bad or evil the parent is, in the most favorable and acceptable light. That's what I've done for years with her. The truth is, my mother did protect me in some ways. It could have been a lot worse.

  There has been no word of her whereabouts. My house in Radcliff sold in late March. I deposited the proceeds into my savings account. Our new home is under construction. I told Trey we will buy the furnishings for it with the proceeds from the house. The investigator Trey hired has been relieved of
his duties for now.

  Gina comes bouncing back into my hospital room carrying a cup of ice chips, beaming as Trey follows in behind her. Trey rushes to my side and leans over my bed rail, his eyes filled with love and concern.

  “I was afraid you wouldn’t get word that I was here,” I choke, tears rolling down my cheeks. I pull him toward me; a feeling of relief floods over me.

  “Sweetie, you know better than that,” he says, stroking my face with his thumbs.

  “Gina,” Trey says, “can I have some alone time with Tylar for just a bit?”

  “Sure thing counselor,” she replies, cracking her gum loudly. “I’ll be down in the cafeteria getting something to eat. Holler if you need me, Ty. She hasn’t done a lot of that yet, Trey.” Gina winks as she breezes out of the room.

  “How’s the pain, Tylar?” Trey asks, lowering the bed rail so that he can sit beside me on the bed. He takes my hand into his, absently rubbing his thumb against my hospital wristband.

  “It’s not that bad,” I lie. “Gina’s been helping me with my breathing.”

  The nurse comes in just then to check my progress. Trey moves outside the curtain she has drawn. Peeling off her rubber gloves, she informs me that I'm nearly seven centimeters dilated. She informs me in her no-nonsense Nurse Ratched manner that I can expect stronger contractions as I enter the transition stage of labor. She slides the curtain back open, taking her leave.

  Holy crap! It gets worse than this?

  Trey reads the panicked look on my face. He tries soothing me with reminders as to how much better it is for both mother and baby when no anesthesia is used during labor. I eye him warily as the next contraction starts.

  Trey removes his jacket and tie, tossing them over onto a chair. He rolls his sleeves up to his forearms. He patiently coaches me through the contraction the way we learned in Lamaze class. We've now graduated to the he-he-who pattern of breathing, followed by the cleansing breath.