by Laura Acton
Right before they were set to shift Dan, NRB Agent Stevens approached, noting the congealing blood and the state of Dan’s face and knee. She directed her question to Ray, scarcely stopping the gasp which wanted to escape as she took in his abused condition too. “Who is the subject officer?”
“Me,” Dan answered. He unclipped his MP5 and handed it over to her. Then removed his Glock from the holster and gave the pistol to Kendall too. He began stripping off his soaked gloves and dropped them into the bag she held open for him. Red smeared the sides, and he dully said, “Lexa’s blood, not the subject’s or mine.”
Kendall nodded. “I’ll collect the rest of your uniform at the hospital, and we will schedule the interview once the physician releases you. We have many to do so tomorrow or the day after will be soon enough. Remember you are sequestered until after your NRB interview. Sorry, protocol, I must say that.”
She stayed put as she observed the medics transfer Dan to the backboard, strap him in, and a few members of Delta Team arrived to help carry Dan down the stairs to the waiting gurney. She sighed. The next few days would be difficult with so many deaths to sort out, but she had no qualms about the legality of this particular shooting, based on the evidence surrounding her.
Concerned for Your Welfare
74
April 4
St. Michael’s Hospital – ER Waiting Room – 4:25 p.m.
Dan exited the treatment area and noted the rest of the team off in the far corner, their heads down or eyes closed. He painfully hobbled in the opposite direction, glad none of them spotted him. His guilt weighing heavy, he would not be decent company, nor could he answer the myriad of questions which would be thrown his way since he had not done his NRB interview.
Agent Stevens had come by with his change of clothes when she retrieved his uniform and scheduled his meeting for tomorrow. She offered to wait until the following day, but Dan wanted to get this over with … he didn’t want it hanging over his head.
He lowered himself into a chair, keeping his braced leg straight, but leaned forward putting his elbows on his thighs and planting his face in his palms. In the last four hours, he managed to lock on his mask again. He waited a long time to be treated, gunshot wounds suffered by members of the BDC took priority over a bashed knee. Thankfully, no fractures or torn ligaments. His kneecap was only badly bruised and the surrounding tissue swollen.
One week off and light duty for another is what Fraser wrote on his discharge paperwork. He didn’t mind … it would give him time to be here for Lexa. Jim stopped in his room, and although the doctors had reported nothing official, Dan held faith in Jim’s word Lexa would survive, and Heather’s assurance Lexa’s surgeon was one of their best.
She would live, but would she ever forgive him for failing to protect her? Her last words to him in the SUV before they arrived on scene haunted him. ‘Glad we’re partnered on this raid. No one else I would rather have watching my back.’ If Lexa had been with anyone else she wouldn’t be where she is … they would’ve told her to hold. My pride caused this. I should’ve asked her to wait.
Across the room, five other men were buried in their own tortured thoughts. Nick had nearly rubbed his face raw before he occupied his hands by wringing his hat … the material now almost destroyed. The first forty-five minutes had been the worst. He appreciated that Jim popped out to inform them the ER doctor stabilized Lexa and took her to surgery. Also, that Heather would be by Lexa’s side in the OR and the PACU.
For the past hours, Nick alternated between staring at the door and his feet. The thought of losing Lexa brought up so much pain … so many memories he buried years ago after Janie’s and Martin’s deaths. The devil at the bottom of the bottle called to him, and he fought to remain in his seat … getting drunk would not help Lexa nor make his true pain go away.
The rooftop events replayed over and over in his mind. His eyes focusing only on Lexa’s pale face, begging her to open her eyes, wanting to witness for himself the fire in them. Only then would he know the spit-fire and fierce woman he held dear would fight.
Beside Nick, Bram sat with his head lowered in prayer. He had not stopped since the moment the back door of the ambulance closed and sped off for the hospital. He stayed at the scene in Boss’ stead so his normally composed leader, who appeared ready to fall apart, could go with Lexa. Being her emergency contact, it made sense for Nick to ride with her and the others to follow when possible.
When Bill and Glen indicated they would handle the wrap up for them, Bram gathered a stunned and silent Loki, and they hopped in one of the SUVs. They left Jon only because NRB Agent Thornbuckle insisted on taking him in for an interview since Jon took lethal action.
His prayers included Dan after Ray described the injury to his knee. None of them knew what transpired on the warehouse roof, but he gave Dan the benefit of the doubt, unlike Jon. Dan would never leave Lexa uncovered so something terrible must’ve occurred. Bram comprehended their hyper-protective sniper would’ve taken the bullets for her had he been given half a chance. The utter devastation on Dan’s face told him Dan had been unable to change the course of the events as they unfolded.
Bram also used prayer striving to rein in his annoyance at Jon. The dynamic of the two alpha males on this team often confused and angered him, and no one got under Jon’s skin and rattled him as much as Dan. Though his best friend made strides, he could still be a colossal idiot at times with Dan.
Seated across from Bram, Jon continued to clench and release his fists while keeping his eyes closed. He fought the desire to smash them into the walls. Emotions warred in him. He never wished for anyone’s death, but he felt an odd sense of satisfaction that Pablo Nores took a swan dive off the roof in front of his brothers.
That thought alone made him question his morals. When he added his behavior towards his own teammate, a man who took untold risks to keep them all safe, Jon began to wonder what defect in him caused him to act in such a rash manner toward Dan. Yes, Lexa was the little sister he chose to love and protect, but so too was she a sister to them all, Dan included. A feisty sister, capable of whipping all their butts if truth be told.
His ‘Dan, I’m sorry’ on the rooftop seemed wholly inadequate at this point, yet he struggled with anger which he still wanted to direct at Dan. Why the hell didn’t he cover her better? A question he would not receive an answer to until after Dan interviewed with NRB, which would not be until tomorrow according to Stevens.
Overdue for his pain meds, Ray sat stock still, his head against the wall, eyes shut as he endeavored to achieve internal peace and reduce both his emotional and physical hurt. He remained so far from his goal as anger boiled just below the surface. Images repeated in his head. Dan’s desperate tears and begging voice. Lexa’s blood … so much blood. Jon’s fury as he threw Dan aside when the medics arrived and his lame apology. Bram’s anger at Jon. Loki’s lost little boy expression as he stared at Lexa. Boss’ utter devastation.
If not for me, the BDC would never have targeted my team. Lexa wouldn’t be fighting for her life. Dan’s knee wouldn’t be the size of a football, and his career wouldn’t be in jeopardy if the kneecap is broken. Best friends Jon and Bram wouldn’t be butting heads. My brother Loki wouldn’t be closing in on himself. And Boss … he wouldn’t look like a father facing the possibility of losing another child. It is no secret he views Lexa as his daughter. My family would not be in tatters if not for my history with the Blooddrop Crew.
Next to Ray, Loki became inert. All nervous energy in his typically perpetually moving body quieted as he retreated inside. If I don’t move, then all this is not real … only a horrible, rotten, downright nasty dream. Lexa is not shot. Ray was not beaten and almost blown up. Dan isn’t hurt … again. Jon didn’t cruelly toss Dan from Lexa. I didn’t witness Boss tear up and cry as he entered the ambulance with Lexa.
Nope, none of that happened. If I stay still this is only a nightmare, and I will wake up, and everything is gonna be no
rmal and fine. The thought of fine caused his foot to begin bouncing. Fucked up, Insecure, Nervous, and Emotional fits me perfectly.
Once his body broke through the inertia, Loki turned his eyes on Ray and noted the drawn countenance to his features. “You bring your pain meds?”
Loki’s words startled Ray, who opened his eyes and turned to peer at Loki. “No. I’m fine.”
“Yeah, me too.” Loki stood and went to Nurse Nancy at the information desk. Arriving he said, “Can you tell Dr. Fraser I need to speak to him?”
Nancy asked, “Why?”
“Ray needs pain relief and doesn’t have his meds. Thought he might be able to prescribe something while were waiting for word on Lexa and Dan.”
Slightly confused, Nancy addressed Loki’s question first. “I’ll contact him for you. I’m sure the doctor will help.” Then she said, “Lexa is still in surgery, but Dan is over there. He’s been out here for the last half hour.” Nancy pointed across the room.
Loki whipped his head around. The sight greeting him both elated him and plummeted his heart to his stomach. Dan’s leg was in a brace, not a cast, and no sign of crutches anywhere meant his injury was not career-ending. However, the slumped position, and the facts he sat by himself, and none of them noticed he exited, spoke volumes.
Pitching his volume loud enough so his teammates would hear him but not so loud as to disturb others in the room, Loki jogged over to his wounded teammate. “Dan, buddy, why are you over here by yourself?”
Five heads snapped up, and eyes opened … four on one side of the room and one on the other. Bram rose and rushed over when he spotted Loki’s path. He was followed at a slower pace by Jon, Nick, and Ray, but all made a beeline straight to their rookie.
Dan clamped on his stoic mask and waited as they all approached. His emotions too raw to discern their expressions, he prepared himself for an onslaught of criticism. Lexa fighting for her life was all his fault, and he knew it with every fiber of his body.
Reaching him first, Loki gaped at the flat soldier expression. No, not again. I thought we were past this. The anxiety flowing through him in waves surged out in his voice, leaving no room for misinterpretation. “Dan, are you alright? What did the doctor say about your knee? I was so worried when Ray told us about your injury.”
Bram knelt to be eye level, his soft blue-green eyes expressing distress. “Tell me it isn’t broken and you will be back with us soon.”
Blinking at the welcoming and concerned reception, Dan was at a loss for words. He scanned their faces, still having trouble perceiving intent on Jon’s part, but Boss’ and Ray’s expressions appeared to mirror Loki’s and Bram’s.
Sitting next to Dan, Nick peered deep into the soulful eyes reading fear, sadness, confusion, and pain. “We are aware you can’t talk about the incident and will not ask you any questions. There will be time later to debrief after your interview. For now, we are only concerned for your welfare.”
Jon could only stare as he berated himself yet again for his treatment of Dan. The bruising and swelling on the left side of Dan’s face indicated he received a hard blow and Jon assumed by the shape, the injury was caused by the same pool cue Ray reported struck Dan’s knee.
“Only bruised, not busted,” Dan said as he spied Commander Gambrill entering the waiting area. Since the other’s backs were to him, Dan added, “Commander?”
Spotting Walter as he strode over to them, Nick noted the drawn countenance of his commander. Not unexpected with today’s events.
Walter halted near his men and took a moment to scan Dan before asking, “Dan, what is the word on your knee?”
“I’ll be good for light duty in a week.”
Walter considered his options and directed his next words to Pastore. “Being down three officers will make it difficult to shuffle others to cover for them, so your team is off call rotation for two weeks. After you debrief, I want everyone to take three days off.”
He didn’t want to sound crass, but he had a department to run, so he modulated his tone softer than usual. “On the eighth, when you return you will be in charge of running the reserve selection. Your first order of business is to find a replacement for McKenna.”
“Temporary,” Loki blurted out.
Conceding, for now, Walter nodded. “Yes, of course, temporary. Though we don’t know at this time how long she might be out.” His eyes returned to Dan before shifting back to Nick. “Pick two to add to Alpha Team for the next month. Though if you want, you can rotate all five during the time to better assess their fit with TRF.”
Nick gave him a nod of acknowledgment, understanding that their responsibilities could only be suspended for a short while and he appreciated Gambrill’s willingness to give them time to be here for Lexa.
Everyone’s attention turned to the door when a female voice called out “Family of McKenna?”
Nick waved his hand, and a woman in surgical scrubs hurried to them. Her face not giving away the news she would be delivering. Nick found his heart racing and his palms sweating.
“Hello, I’m Dr. Mycroft. Who is Mr. Pastore?” Lilac asked.
“I am.”
The doctor eyed the group. “As Ms. McKenna’s emergency contact I can discuss her condition with you. Would you please follow me to the conference room, so we have privacy?”
“What you have to say, you can tell us all,” Nick replied.
Lilac shook her head. “Please come with me.”
“Go,” Jon said as dread increased and his fists clenched again.
Dan sagged and dropped his head in his hands. This can’t be good if she needs to talk to Boss without the rest of us.
St. Michael’s Hospital – Doctor’s Consultation Room – 5:05 p.m.
Nick took a seat and waited for Lexa’s surgeon to sit. He drew on his training to remain calm.
Noting the distress, Dr. Mycroft launched into her reason for a private consult. “Ms. McKenna,”
“Lexa. She would want to be called Lexa.”
Nodding, Lilac adjusted. “Lexa made it through surgery with flying colors. She is in recovery now. However, there are some aspects of the outcome which Lexa may prefer to keep private. Let me start with the GSW to the shoulder. A through and through, the projectile missed her bone which will help with healing, and we repaired the tear in her muscle. We won’t know for several days if there is any nerve damage. However, and I don’t say this lightly, I believe she will regain full mobility with proper physical therapy.
“She was not as fortunate with the abdominal wound.” Lilac took a breath. “The path of the bullet missed major organs, however, it destroyed her left ovary and caused some damage to her uterus. I am aware she has never been pregnant, but if she desires children, she may encounter difficulty conceiving with only one ovary or carrying a baby to term with the scar tissue on the uterus. Any pregnancy would be considered high risk, and a ruptured uterus, endometriosis, or an ectopic pregnancy might occur. She will require close monitoring and proper prenatal care should she become pregnant.”
Nick now understood whys Mycroft didn’t want to speak in front of the others. “Will either injury prevent her from returning to work?”
Being honest, Lilac said, “As with any severe injury, it is too early to tell. The potential is there if she encounters no setbacks.”
“When can we see her?”
A smile formed. “Heather warned me to expect a strong push to see your teammate. Once she is in ICU, I will send a nurse notify you, and you may visit her for a short interval, but only one person at a time. The rest can stay in the ICU waiting room. I’m told you all are aware of its location.”
Nick nodded. They spent way too many hours in this place when Dan had been shot last summer. “Thank you.” Nick rose and shook her hand as the female doctor stood as well.
Absolution, Acceptance, and Hugs
75
April 4
St. Michael’s Hospital – ICU Room B – 7:20 p.m.
&nb
sp; Dan chose to be last to visit Lexa. He justified his action as being courteous to the others, but in truth he let everyone go before him because as much as he wanted to go to her, his guilt made him dread witnessing what he had done to the woman he loved.
Boss went first, followed by Ray, then Loki before the techie took Ray home with him to rest and for some significant mother-henning from Mrs. B. Jon went next and Bram after him. They all agreed Boss would stay with Lexa tonight. Well, technically, Dan didn’t, but he couldn’t insist on being the one to stay without giving away their relationship, and he was not about to jeopardize her place on the team. As difficult as it would be, he would act like a teammate and nothing more in front of the guys.
After limping into the room, he stood and stared. Lexa’s flawless, ivory skin appeared several shades paler, and her ordinarily wavy and glossy hair was dull, damp, and plastered to her scalp. A nasal cannula supplied oxygen, something the doctor said they would wean her off before she left the ICU, only necessary after surgery and due to the amount of blood she lost.
She looked so tiny in the regular-sized bed. The blip of the monitors faded into the background but provided Dan audible proof she still lived. Getting up the nerve, he took the last few steps to her side and reached for her hand. Gently intertwining their fingers, his larger hand engulfing hers, he lifted their joined hands and kissed the back of hers.
Tears spilled down, and his voice came out gravelly and choked. “I’m sorry. I should’ve protected you better.” He rested his forehead on hers and let loose the sobs he held back for hours. Dan’s shoulders shook with the intensity of his sorrow and remorse as tears dripped on to her cheek.
Nurse Lois Clarry waited to enter, giving the man who held a special place in her heart time to express his feelings. Dan saved her granddaughter Sara last summer, and she would be forever grateful. She understood this team was close-knit from when Dan had been a patient. Lois recalled bringing blankets and pillows for Lexa and Loki when they broke the rules and refused to leave the first night Dan was in here after he had been shot in the chest.