A Cowgirl at Heart

by Christine Lynxwiler

  “And they shot her.”

  He nodded. “It was all they could do, I’m sure. But you don’t know how many times I wished they’d shot me instead.”

  “I did, too.”

  He sucked in his breath. “I don’t blame you at all. You and your mom could have had a happy life.”

  “I’ve had a happy life. I wouldn’t change anything about it.” As soon as she said the words, she realized they weren’t completely true. Of course, she’d rather her mother not have died. But if she hadn’t, Elyse wouldn’t have ended up with the McCords. And she wouldn’t have met Andrew. Was that something she would change if she could?

  “That’s the beauty of God, Elyse. He can take our brokenness and make it beautiful.”

  “You’re right.” She stood. “I’d better go.”

  He looked like he wanted to protest, but he followed her to the front door. “Thank you for coming.”

  “I haven’t figured this out yet, but if it’s okay, I’ll probably be back.”

  His smile was sweet. “I’ll look forward to it. When you’re ready.”

  In her Jeep, she took a deep breath and blew it out. She wasn’t sure if she’d forgiven Luis or not, but she knew it was probable that she would. Maybe that reconciliation would take her mind off the giant hole in her heart that Andrew had left behind.

  CHAPTER 33

  “Going to a wedding by yourself must be the loneliest thing in the world.” Elyse cradled the phone against her cheek. “I can see why you went so crazy trying to find a date for Crystal and Jeremy’s wedding.”

  “A little too crazy. If I ever pull a stunt like that again, just knock me in the head.” Kaleigh’s laughter died away. “So, it was hard, huh?”

  “Very hard. But the wedding was perfect. Lark was beautiful as the matron of honor. Allie and Rachel both had maternity bridesmaids’—or should that be brides matrons’?—dresses. They were adorable. Daniel and Jack both looked so proud.”

  “Sounds like the wedding party stole the show from the bride and groom.”

  Elyse sighed. “Not at all. Victoria was gorgeous. And her whole face was shining with happiness, just like Crystal’s was at her wedding.” Neither spoke for a few minutes. Elyse knew they were both wondering if they would ever have that kind of happiness. “They wrote their own vows. And when Adam told about how he’d been in love with Victoria for five years and how he’d just been biding his time, I actually cried a little.”

  “Aw ... that is really sweet. I don’t blame you.”

  “Then Dylan read a little note that he’d written to Adam, saying that he’d been a daddy to him for the last several years, and he was glad he was finally going to officially be able to call him Dad.”

  “Okay, that sounds like a wedding you’d have cried at even if you hadn’t been alone.” Kaleigh paused. “Do you ever see Andrew?”

  Hearing his name was more painful than she’d thought it would be. She immediately thought of their run-in a few days ago. “Occasionally. He’s still trying to contact me. I’m not sure why.”

  “Maybe he’s biding his time.”

  “Don’t you even try to catch me in a sappy mood and work that angle. Relationships are founded on trust and honesty. Mine and Andrew’s was built on nothing except lies and deception.”

  “You really believe that?”

  Elyse drew in her breath at the question. It was the same thing Andrew had asked her when she’d said that Luis probably stayed in prison for three meals a day and a roof over his head. He’d been right to doubt her. She hadn’t believed it, even while she was saying it. Was Kaleigh right to doubt her, too? “I don’t know what I believe anymore.” But I know I did tell him to leave me alone.

  “Don’t wait until it’s too late to fix this, Elyse.”

  “Did I tell you that they gave away handheld video games at the reception?”

  “To all the guests?” Kaleigh handled the subject change smoothly, and Elyse was grateful.

  “Yes. And the cool thing is it’s a prototype of a new game Adam has coming out in the spring.”

  “Cool. I can’t wait to see it.”

  “Maxine’s nephew, Doug, called awhile ago, and they’re ready for me to bring Pal home.”

  “Ouch. That’s going to be tough giving him up after all these months, isn’t it?”

  “A little. But I’ve always made myself remember that he wasn’t mine to keep.” Something she’d tried to keep in mind with Andrew ever since that night he’d told her he had nothing to offer her except that minute. The night he’d kissed her. Unfortunately, she’d allowed herself to be deluded into believing otherwise along the way.

  “Are you going back to that house alone?”

  “Yes.” Elyse hesitated. “Between you and me, I did consider calling Andrew and asking him to go with me. Or at least asking him to follow me over there and make sure everything is okay. But I didn’t want to give him the wrong idea.”

  “What’s the wrong idea? That you love him?”

  She started to protest, but she didn’t want to lie. “I don’t know.” Elyse sank onto the chair and ran her hand over her eyes. “Kaleigh, this is so hard.”

  “Wanting to forgive him?”

  She nodded even though she knew Kaleigh couldn’t see her. Tears stung her eyes. “After all this talk of overcoming my fears ... and of trusting God to see me through ... the truth is I’m terrified.”

  “What are you so scared of?”

  “That I’ll make the wrong decision about him. That he’ll deceive me again. Or that I’ll miss my chance to be happy with someone who loves me.” Elyse stopped short of sobbing, but barely.

  “You’ve forgiven him, haven’t you? If it wasn’t for this fear?”

  “Yes,” she whispered.

  “Deep down, even though you’re hurt by the secret he kept, you believe he loves you, don’t you?”

  Elyse blew out her breath, determined to be honest with herself and her sister. “Yes.”

  “Then there’s your answer.”

  “How did you get to be so wise?”

  Kaleigh laughed. “The school of hard knocks.”

  “I’m going to call him when I get back from Maxine’s.”

  “Why not call him now? That way he can go with you.”

  So tempting ... but no. “I’m done living in fear. I can face this on my own. God will be with me.”

  “Good girl. Call me later, after you talk to Andrew, and let me know how it goes.”

  “Thanks, Kaleigh. Love you.”

  After they broke the connection, Elyse pulled the hoodie from the hook by the door and called Pal. It would be hard to let the dog go after all these months, but everyone had a place to belong. Pal’s was with Maxine.

  A genuine smile lit her face for the first time in three weeks. And she had a feeling that hers was with Andrew.

  ***

  “Come in, come in.” Maxine’s nephew, Doug, held the door wide open for Elyse and Pal.

  “Thanks.” Elyse smiled. It was getting so much easier to deal with people she didn’t know well. And she had Andrew to thank for that. She had him to thank for a lot of things. Like helping her learn to face her fears. And for leaving his jacket hanging in her foyer on Christmas Day. When she’d gotten home from seeing Luis the other day, she’d hung it back on the hook and left it. But this morning, she’d needed it again for an extra dose of courage. She tucked her hands in the pockets, glad she’d worn it.

  But she had herself to thank for the fact that he wasn’t around. And every day his absence was getting harder to bear. This afternoon, maybe she could fix that.

  In one of those embarrassing moments that sometimes happens with kids and dogs, Pal sat down on the welcome mat and refused to cross the threshold. “I’m sorry,” Elyse said. “I think he remembers the last time we were here.” Her own nerves were on edge enough that she wished she’d called and asked someone to come with her. She tugged on his leash, but he didn’t budge. She slipped a
treat from her pocket and set it down inside the house. Not as scientific as some methods, but the last thing she wanted was to make Maxine think Elyse had stolen the affection of her dog.

  Pal walked cautiously into the foyer, and Doug closed the wooden door behind him.

  “Where’s Maxine?”

  Doug motioned down the hallway. “She’s in her room, resting. She should be out in a few minutes. Have a seat.”

  Elyse nodded and sat on the sofa. Here was the test. Could she make small talk with someone she hardly knew? Six months ago, she definitely couldn’t. “How’s she doing settling back into her house?”

  Doug, still standing, glanced down the hall. “She’s sleeping quite a bit. But I think she’s just tired from the move.”

  Pal growled. Elyse cringed. She had a feeling that—even though he was nothing like his father—Doug probably smelled and looked a lot like Zeke to Pal.

  “Are you going to move down here and try to get a job?” Elyse smiled at Doug. “I know Maxine would love to have you.”

  “My plans are up in the air right now.” He walked to the window. “What’s Andrew up to today?”

  Elyse hated the pain that flared in her chest when she heard his name. How long would it take for that to go away? “I really don’t know,” she said softly. “We’re ... um ... not seeing each other anymore.” Her face grew hot as she suddenly remembered Andrew saying he thought Doug was interested in her.

  She heard a movement in the hallway. “Isn’t that just too bad?” a chillingly familiar voice said.

  CHAPTER 34

  Zeke came in, with a gun pointed straight at her. Pal’s hackles rose, and he growled as he backed up against her.

  Elyse gripped his leash tightly, needing something to hold on to.

  “You said you’d let me find out what she knew.” Doug didn’t seem at all surprised to see his dad. “Why are you doing this?”

  “I figured old Andy would come with her,” Zeke snarled, never taking his beady eyes off Elyse’s face. “But since he didn’t, and if they’re ‘not seeing each other anymore,’” he mimicked in a high voice, “we’ll have to be a little more direct in how we get him here.”

  “What do you mean?” Doug asked.

  Elyse had a million questions of her own, but her tongue felt glued to the roof of her mouth.

  Zeke motioned with the gun. “Get her phone. She’ll call him and ask him to come over here.”

  Elyse suddenly found her voice. “I won’t do it.”

  Zeke’s maniacal laugh filled the room. “I think you will.” He pointed the gun at Pal’s heart. “Unless you want to see the dog die in front of you.”

  She glared at him, but she had no doubt he’d do it. “Where’s Maxine?”

  “Asleep,” Zeke said.

  “Doug?” Elyse asked the obviously nervous young man. “Where’s your aunt?”

  “After she called you, I gave her a sleeping pill mixed in with her vitamins. She doesn’t know anything about this.”

  “So she’s okay?”

  “For now,” Zeke growled. “But if shooting the dog doesn’t get you to call, she’ll be next.”

  “Wait a minute,” Doug protested, his voice high-pitched with stress.

  “You shut up and do what you’re told, boy. Get her phone.”

  Doug walked over to Elyse. “I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I need your phone.”

  Elyse looked up at him. “Your aunt was so proud of you. She said you’d turned your life around.”

  “You don’t understand.”

  “Shut up,” Zeke yelled.

  Elyse handed Doug her phone.

  “See if Stone’s in her address book.”

  Doug obediently mashed the button to access her address book. “He’s in here.”

  “Aww, isn’t that sweet she didn’t delete him? True love never dies, I guess.” Zeke walked over to her and put the gun right next to her head.

  Elyse’s face grew hot, and she felt dizzy. This was what Andrew had tried to protect her from. And she’d thrown away what they’d had out of anger at him for not telling her.

  “Here’s what you’re goin’ to do,” Zeke said in a soothing voice that was more terrifying than his ranting and raving. “You’re goin’ to call your boyfriend and tell him you’ve had a change of heart. Ask him to meet you at Maxine’s.”

  “For what?” Elyse choked out.

  Zeke shrugged. “I don’t know. Tell him you’re fixing some sandwiches and would love for him to be here, too, to share in the joyous reunion between dog and master.” He grinned. “That right there about brings me to tears.” His grin disappeared as quickly as it came. “But I promise you one thing. If you say anything ... anything at all ... that makes him suspicious or sounds nervous or scared”—he moved the gun to Pal’s head, ignoring his growling—“then it’s bye-bye, doggie.”

  Elyse nodded. “What are you going to do when Andrew gets here?”

  “I just want to talk to him. Tell him I didn’t kill his wife. Get him to explain it to the sheriff.”

  “That won’t work.”

  “You let me worry about that. If my plan don’t work, then I guess I’ll turn myself in.” He motioned for Doug to hand her the phone.

  Elyse knew he was lying. But she couldn’t see what he had to gain by getting Andrew over here. Andrew had disarmed him easily that first day. What was to keep him from doing it again? Unless Zeke shot him the second he walked in the door.

  Her stomach churned. She’d always prided herself on being forgiving. Yet she hadn’t forgiven Luis, even when faced with evidence that he’d really changed. And then when Andrew had shown her how sorry he was for what he’d done, she hadn’t forgiven him either. Yet she’d accused him of having major trust issues. Something about staring into the beady eyes of death made her see life so much more clearly.

  Doug put the phone in her hand, and she started to shake. “I can’t do it.”

  Zeke pointed the gun at Pal again. “Really?”

  “Wait,” she stammered. “I’ll try.” She closed her eyes and silently begged God to help her.

  “You’ll do more than try if you want the dog to live.”

  When she opened her eyes, she relaxed more than she had since she heard Zeke’s voice. This wasn’t in her hands. It was in God’s. He would handle it. She scrolled to Andrew’s name and made the call.

  Zeke sank down on the couch beside her and leaned close to hear the ringing.

  She nearly gagged from the stench of him, but she forced herself not to react. She had more important things to think about. Like hoping that Andrew wouldn’t answer.

  He answered on the second ring.

  ***

  Andrew had just decided that if she didn’t come out in two more minutes, he was going to the door. He knew that tailing Elyse after she’d ordered him to leave her alone would probably be the final nail in the coffin of their relationship. But Jack had called him this morning and told him Zeke had been spotted in Hardy but got away. Andrew had been on the way over to tell Elyse when he saw her pull out of her lane. Naturally he’d followed. He’d vowed to protect her, and he was going to do it.

  His phone vibrated. He jumped. The caller ID said Elyse. Frowning, he flipped it open. “Hello?”

  “Andrew, it’s Elyse.”

  “Hi.”

  “Listen, I’m over at Maxine’s bringing Pal home.”

  He stared at her Jeep in front of him in Maxine’s driveway but still didn’t step out from behind the tree.

  “We thought you might like to come over and eat some tuna sandwiches with us ... celebrate Pal’s homecoming.”

  The adrenaline rushed through his body before his mind fully reacted to her words. “Tuna sandwiches ... sounds perfect.”

  “Oh, good.” He could hear the relief in her voice. “So you’ll come?”

  “Sure.” He studied the yard. “It’ll take me awhile to get there though. Maybe half an hour. Is that okay?”

  She h
esitated. “Thirty minutes will be fine, but don’t be longer or the food might go bad, okay?” Her voice was considerably shakier.

  He forced a laugh even though his throat ached with the effort. “No problem. I’ll hurry. I can’t wait for those tuna sandwiches.”

  “Okay.”

  The connection was broken.