Season of Passion

by Steel, Danielle

  I found out just about all I can on the girl you had me check out. But first, let me tell you what else I found.

  Funnily enough, I didn't even remember the guy until we came across the clips from the show. I called the papers and the newsroom archives at the network after that. Tom Harper, he was a big football star about ten years back. We had him on the show three or four times, when Jasper still worked out of New York. Before your time, Nick. Anyway, he was a nice guy, I think. America's number one hero. I don't know why the name didn't click when you asked me this morning. He was a pro hero for eight or nine years until his career started to slide. I don't remember the details but he started getting into trouble, his career was on the rocks, he was getting too old for pro ball. Did some crazy thing like try to shoot the team owner, or manager or something, and wiped himself out instead.

  Killed himself? But now Nick was remembering the story too. He had even met Harper once or twice when he himself was starting out in pro football. How quickly they had all forgotten. Six, seven, maybe eight years before, it had been big news, and now it took a research office to jolt the name back into mind. Kate would have been pleased to know that.

  I don't think he died, not right off anyway. I couldn't get you all the details on that, but originally he was only critically wounded, paralyzed, something like that. Eventually they moved him down to some fancy sanatarium in Carmel, and I guess everyone forgot him after that. No one seems to know if he's still alive or not, and I couldn't find out the name of the sanatarium or I'd have called. But that's about all we got on him. One of the newsroom guys had a story that explained that Harper was paralyzed from the waist down, and permanently impaired mentally when they moved him to Carmel, but that's about it on Harper. As for the girl, she was his wife. There's not much on her. Some footage of her coming, and going from the hospital. They sent it over here and it made me sick to watch it. She has that godawful look of people living in a nightmare, and there was another clip of when they were loading him into the ambulance for the trip to Carmel. He looks like he doesn't know what's happening, kind of childlike and dumb. There's absolutely nothing on either of them after that. I got a little background on her, but damn little. She went to Stanford for a few months, went to live with Harper after her first year there, traveled everywhere with him, but stayed pretty much out of the limelight. She was a model or something for a while. Kind of a pretty girl, then at least, but that was quite a while ago. And the only bit of scandal about her was that apparently her parents disowned her or something for marrying him. They were your basic staunch upper-middle-class snobs, who couldn't stand the idea of their princess marrying a jock or something. Anyway they cut her off.

  That's all? know, Nick. What happened to him, if he's still alive, or what happened to her, I couldn't tell you. There's just no press record on any of that. If you can find the name of that sanatarium in Carmel they'll probably be able to tell you if he died, but the name of the place may have been kept out of the press. I don't know. Want me to work on that?

  No, I can do that myself. And listen, thanks a million. You got me everything I wanted to know. And more. He knew everything now. The rest he could figure out for himself. Obviously, Tom was alive, and still in Carmel. That was the mysterious school she went to. It had happened seven years before. And Tygue ' Tygue was six. Kate must have been pregnant when Tom Harper shot himself. What an incredibly long time for Kate to live the way she had. He felt subdued for the rest of the evening as he mused over what he'd heard, and thought about her. He wanted to talk to her about it, to air it out, to hold her in his arms and let her cry if she still needed to after all these years. But he knew he couldn't say a word. Not until she did. He wondered how long it would take.

  He looked at her now as she sat across from him, watching him, and he looked at the circles under her eyes. She was paying a price, too, for their happiness and her double life.

  How did it go in Carmel, Kate? Difficult today? He hated that look of pain in her eyes. It told him the rest of the story, the part the research office didn't know. He wondered just how bad off Tom Harper still was. He had gathered from the research material that the mental damage had been irreparable. That had to be an incredible strain. But he still couldn't imagine what it was really like, dealing with someone like that on a regular basis. Someone you had loved.

  Yeah, it was difficult today. She smiled and tried to shrug it off, but he wasn't letting her. Not just yet.

  Are they very demanding? He was asking her about Tom, not about them, but he hoped she'd tell him the truth anyway. Some kind of truth at least.

  Sometimes. People like that can be very sweet, and very childlike, or very difficult, like children too in that respect. Anyway, never mind that, tell me about the show. The subject was definitely closed. He saw it in her face.

  The people on the show can be very sweet and very childlike' too, or total shits and equally childlike. Maybe most actors and celebrities are retarded too. He smiled at her and sighed.

  Did you get the house for this weekend, by the way? She was happily unbuttoning his shirt and he nodded.

  Yes. And you know, I was thinking. How about if all three of us stayed there this time?

  She thought about it for a long moment and then looked up at him. Why not here?

  He shook his head carefully. Not yet. This is Tygue's turf. I don't want to crowd him. He thought of everything, and he cared about everything. Just as she cared about him. Enough to worry about the way he looked. Exhausted.

  Nick?

  What, love? He lay back against the couch, his eyes closed, holding her hand. He was trying not to feel hurt that she wouldn't tell him about Tom. But he knew he'd just have to wait until she was ready.

  What are we going to do?

  About what? But he knew. He was wondering the same thing. Neither of them had had a full night of sleep in three weeks.

  You can't go on running around like this forever.

  Are you telling me I'm over the hill? He opened an eye and she grinned.

  No. I'm telling you I am. And if it's killing me, I can imagine what it's doing to you. I'm not driving to Los Angeles every day.

  Never mind. Why don't we just ride out the summer? And then well see.

  But then what? She had worried about it all the way back from Carmel. The drive gave her an idea of what Nick was doing every morning and every night. The distance was the same. What the hell are we going to do after the summer?

  I could buy a plane. A helicopter maybe. He was only half teasing and she kissed him softly on the cheek. It was all her fault too. But there was Tygue, and she couldn't just ' Hang in there, darling. And then we'll see. I'm waiting to find out what Jasper wants to do about the show. That might change everything. And he has to make up his mind in the next two weeks.

  What do you mean, it'll change everything? She looked even more worried.

  Never mind. Now stop worrying about it, Kate. And that's an order.

  But'

  Shh! He pressed his mouth against hers, and met every objection with a kiss until at last she was laughing, and they fell into bed. But tonight they didn't even make love. They just slept, wrapped around each other, exhausted. And Nick was already gone when Kate woke up the next morning.

  Where'd you get this? Tygue picked up a huge white tee-shirt and held it in the air with a look of suspicion, as his mother covered herself with the sheet. This was the first time Tygue had appeared in her bedroom before she'd wakened to put on a nightgown, and she felt oddly defensive. And they had been so tired that Nick had forgotten his undershirt under the bed.

  I used that yesterday to do some gardening in.

  It smells like Nick. He eyed her fiercely. Jealousy was beginning to set in. Nick had been right. The initial glow had been too good to be true, or to last.

  Nick gave it to me. What do you want for breakfast, cereal or eggs? And why was she making explanations to him, dammit? She had a right to have anyone's undershirt und
er her bed. Jesus.

  I want French toast or pancakes. He said it in a tone of argumentative accusation.

  That's not on the menu. She looked at him sternly.

  Oh all right. Eggs. When's Nick coming up to see

  Brownie again? The funny thing was that he sounded anxious to see Nick, and yet angry too, and as though he was looking for a fight with his mother.

  He said he'd be up this weekend. In fact she held her breath he invited us both to stay at his house in Santa Barbara. How does that sound?

  Okay. Maybe. You coming too?

  Sure. Any objection?

  Nick doesn't like to talk about horses when you're around. When we're alone he talks about better stuff.

  Well, maybe you two could go off to the stables alone, or for a walk on the beach or something. How about that?

  Okay. There was the first glimmer of a smile. Can I bring Joey? She hadn't even thought of it, but it wasn't a bad idea. It would keep him busy, and give her and Nick more time alone.

  I'll ask, but I suspect Nick will say yes. Nick said yes to everything Tgyue wanted. Sometimes that bugged her. He had kept his promise about not spoiling Tygue too much, but still he indulged the boy, and it irritated her. It made it harder for her to control Tygue. It made Nick look like the good guy, and made her look like a louse when she disciplined him. Besides, it was new to her to have someone else become the source of special treats for Tygue. Tygue had looked to her for everything for so long that it was a little hard to share the glory. She didn't like to admit it, but she knew it was true. There had been Felicia of course, but Felicia's trips were a rare event, Nick was becoming part of every day, and with familiarity came a certain assumption of authority that was also a little hard to take. Tygue wasn't the only one with some adjusting to do. Kate had some new things in her life to accept too, but the lessons were worth learning, for Nick.

  Don't forget to ask Nick about Joey. Tygue muttered the reminder over his shoulder as he left the room.

  I won't. Now go get dressed for school. He vanished into his room and she scooped the large white undershirt into a drawer, but she sniffed it first. It smelled just like him, lemons and spice. Just holding the shirt made her want him.

  But that morning, he didn't call. Stu Weinberg did.

  I have a surprise for you, Kate. He sounded immensely pleased with himself.

  Good or bad?

  I only have good surprises. He tried to sound insulted but couldn't.

  Okay, tell me

  Well, m'dear, we have just been asked to invite you to spend eight days at the Regency Hotel in New York, three days in Washington, two days in Boston, and a day in Chicago on the way back. It's a tour for your book, and you're on the best possible shows in all four cities. You're being offered first-class accommodations everywhere, and strictly four-star treatment Miss Harper, you've made, it

  Oh God. Another mountain to climb. And she was so happy at the plateau she had just reached. Why did she have to move up now? Do I have to?

  Are you kidding? He sounded horrified. Look, Kate, to put it bluntly, do you want a best seller or a bomb? Baby, if you like your royalties, you have to do some of this too.

  In other words, sing for my supper. She didn't sound pleased. How many days does that make altogether?

  Exactly two weeks. Now that's not so bad, is it?

  She sighed deeply. I guess not. Can I let you know though? I have to see if I can get someone to stay with Tygue.

  Sure, love. That's fine. I'll call you back later.

  How soon would I have to go?

  Monday. He didn't even apologize.

  In four days? It was already Thursday.

  He didn't give me much notice for chrissake. And then he stopped. Dammit

  Who didn't?

  The guy in the publicity department at your publisher.

  Oh. Well, I'll call you later. She wanted to call Nick, and at his end, Stu let out his breath softly. Jesus. He'd almost blown it And he had promised Nick he wouldn't. It must have been going great guns for Nick to call and make a request like that. Why couldn't he just ask her himself? But Stu knew why. If Nick had asked her, she wouldn't have gone. This just might get her going.

  She got Nick at his apartment, and he sounded sleepy. Did I wake you up?

  No, just daydreaming. What's up, love? She could hear him yawn, and imagined him stretching.

  You forgot your undershirt.

  No place outrageous, I hope. He smiled to him self as he remembered how she had looked that morning sound asleep when he left.

  It was under the bed. Tygue found it.

  Oops. Any problem?

  Not with Tygue.

  And then he noticed that she sounded worried. He sat up in bed with a frown.

  Stu just called me. The frown deepened. And he waited.

  He has a two-week tour for me. New York, Boston, D.C., and Chicago. Eight days of it in New York. Oh Jesus, Nick, I don't know what to do. I'm scared to death. She sounded near tears, and he wondered if he'd done the right thing. Maybe he had no right to meddle.

  Don't get excited, darling. We'll talk about it What's he booked you on?

  I don't know. I forgot to ask. And it's for Monday. And ' oh Nick, what'll I do?

  I have an idea. He forced his voice to sound cheery as he closed his eyes, feeling as if he were pushing her off a cliff.

  What?

  Why don't you go on the show with Jasper again?

  I can't for chrissake. I just told you. Stu wants me to go to New York, She sounded nervous and exasperated.

  That's where Jasper is doing the show for the next two weeks. And then he opened his eyes wide and waited for a moment. There was no sound. Would you go to New York with me, Kate? I know it's hard for you, darling, but I'll be there. I promise. I'll be right there with you.

  Did you tell Stu to do this? She sounded incredulous.

  I ' Crap. He had blown it. But there was no point lying to her. He would swear never to meddle again. I did. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have, I' But suddenly she was laughing. Kate?

  You jerk. You did that? I thought it was for real. I thought my publisher had a tour for me that I had to do, or else. I thought '

  He does. Only they didn't line it up until I told Stu I thought you'd do it. You can fly in and out of Boston and D.C., and keep on staying with me in New York.

  What about Chicago? She was still laughing. Thank God.

  Did they do that too? Nick sounded amazed.

  Oh yes

  Zealous, aren't they?

  You know something? You're crazy, that's what you are. Totally crazy. Did you know about all this when you got home last night? Her house was home now to both of them.

  Okay, I confess.

  How long have you known?

  Since Monday. Jasper sprang it on us.

  Terrific.

  So what are you going to do now? He was more than a little curious. I mean, other than give me a black eye when I come home tonight.

  Are you sure you want me to tell you over the phone? The voice was pure Mata Hari, and he started laughing too.

  Never mind that. Will you go with me?

  Do I have a choice?

  He waited for a long moment, wondering what he should say, but he decided to take a chance. No. You don't have a choice. I need you too much. Get Tillie to stay with Tygue, and we'll buy out F.A.O. Schwarz for him.

  He accepted your invitation for the weekend, by the way, and he wants to bring Joey.

  Wonderful. I don't care if he brings King Kong. I want to know if you're coming to New York with me.

  Yes, dammit, yes! Okay? Are you happy?

  Very! They were both smiling.

  Do I still have to do all that publicity bullshit?

  Of course. Nick sounded shocked. And I meant what I said. I'll put you back on the show with Jasper.

  Do I gotta? She was lying in bed grinning at the phone.

  Yes. You gotta.

  Hey, Nick?
r />   What, sweetheart? The voice was suddenly soft in answer to hers.

  Any chance you could come home?

  You mean now?

  Uh huh.

  He had a mountain of work to do, a thousand things to arrange ' and a woman he adored.

  I'll be there.

  And he was.

  Chapter 23

  Kate?

  Mm? She was asleep next to him on the plane. It had been a hectic few days. She had insisted on teaching on Friday, but the trip to Carmel had given her a chance to shop. They had all spent the weekend at the house in Santa Barbara, Joey included, and on Sunday night Nick had driven her down to L.A. with him, so that they could leave together Monday morning. This was the first time he hadn't flown with Jasper. He wanted to be alone with her. A glance at his watch told him they would land in New York in an hour. He kissed her softly on the top of her head and folded her hand into his.

  Miss Harper, I love you. He said it more to himself than to her but she surprised him by opening one eye, and looking up with a yawn that crept into a smile.

  I love you too. What time is it?

  Two o'clock our time. It's five o'clock there. We'll get in at six.

  And then what? She hadn't even thought to ask him. She stretched her long legs out ahead of her and looked down at the now familiar cream-colored suit. She was getting more wear out of it than she'd ever expected to when she'd bought it. Oh my God.

  What?

  She was looking up at him with horror in the big green eyes he loved.

  Is it Tygue? Did you forget something?

  No. Licia. I forgot to tell her I was going. If she calls and Tillie tells her I've gone to New York, she'll have a stroke.'

  Will she disapprove? He was curious to meet this character who was the only important person in Kate's life besides Tygue. Maybe she'd hate him, be jealous of his role in Kate's life. He looked at Kate curiously.

  licia? Disapprove? Kate snuggled in next to him with a soft laugh. She'd give you the Legion of Honor for dragging me out of my cave.

  Have you told her about me yet?