Light Shadows

by S. L. Jennings

  I hear his words, but I can’t digest them. I refuse to let them be real.

  Dorian has reversed Jared’s memories of me.

  Every sweet smile, every tender brush of his hand, every warm hug that somehow engulfed my entire frame into the hardness of his body. Gone. Wiped away clean at the hands of the man I chose over the guy I once thought I loved. The guy I thought I would spend the rest of my life with.

  “How could you?” My lower lip trembles, but I capture it with my teeth, refusing to show weakness. “Fuck this. I’m going to the airport. Jared is my friend. If he doesn’t remember me, I’ll make him.” I grab some mouthwash and swish it around in my mouth for a few seconds to dispel the taste of vomit, then throw my hair into a sloppy bun.

  “Gabriella, I can’t let you do that.” Dorian is behind me, watching me as I whip out an old pair of worn jeans and a t-shirt that says Spring Break 2009.

  “Oh yeah? Try to stop me.”

  I finish dressing, refusing to acknowledge his penetrating stare. Dorian knew what he was doing by not at least informing me of his intentions. I appreciate him for saving Jared’s life, but his plans to reverse Jared’s memory was premeditated. That’s why he left me. It wasn’t to make sure my friend was safe; he knew he was stealing him away from me when he tore himself from my bed. He loved me so thoroughly and so tenderly just so he could rip another piece of my heart out.

  I whip through the house like a tornado, calling out for Morgan, who I find sitting on the couch with Alexander. They’re being…normal. Watching TV and sipping from mugs of hot coffee. She looks better—rested—save for the tiny worried lines in her forehead.

  “What’s wrong, Gabs?” She pushes Dolce off her lap, who quickly scampers out of sight. A smaller, weaker beast can always sense when a more vicious predator is near.

  “Come on, we gotta go get Jared from the airport.”

  “Airport? What are you talking about, Gabs?” She narrows her eyes, trying to figure out if I’m serious or delusional. “When did you speak to him? I thought you two weren’t—”

  “I’ll explain on the way.” I toss her the keys to her car and her purse. Still, she doesn’t move. “Morgan. We have to go now!”

  She casts a glance at Alexander then Dorian before giving me a nervous smile, confusion tightening her lips. Her reluctance infuriates me. I’m her friend. She should trust me. Two days ago, she was scared shitless of these men, and now she’s looking to them for guidance? Have I become that much of a liability? Or do they all pity me—the poor, little, almost-orphaned girl who doesn’t even know what the fuck she is?

  “Fuck it,” I spit out, snatching her keys from the where they landed on the couch. If she won’t come, I’ll save Jared my damned self.

  I’m outside, at the candy-red Mustang when I hear her approach. Morgan gingerly plucks the keys from my fingers and gives my shoulder a bump with hers. “You talk, I’ll drive.”

  “SO DORIAN REALLY thinks all your loved ones are being targeted?” Morgan speeds down Powers Blvd. towards the Colorado Springs airport, like the car is on fire. Luckily, we don’t hit a single red light. I don’t question the hows and whys. I just fixate on the road, praying that Morgan doesn’t get us killed. Well…get herself killed. I’d probably walk away without a scratch.

  “Apparently so. But he obviously can’t save them all, you know. What about James and Tammy? Or Carmen and Miguel?”

  At the mention of her Latin beau’s name, she swerves, narrowly missing a passerby. “Oh my God.”

  “When was the last time you spoke to him?”

  “I don’t know.” Her voice is far away, as if thinking about him propels her into another place and time. Where shit wasn’t so complicated, and there were no Warlocks or magic or Haitian Vodou priestesses haunting her dreams. Where we had loving parents and amazing friends, and our biggest worry was what outfit we’d wear to the club on Saturday night.

  I wish I could take her back there. Hell, I wish I could go back there. But everything’s different now. We can’t feign ignorance or chalk it all up to immaturity. This is it for us. There’s no going back to the life we once had.

  We pull up to the airport in record time, and Morgan slows to let me out in front of the departure gates. “You go. I’ll park and find you!” she yells as I jump out. I nod, grateful that the entire airport is only slightly larger than a shoebox. Finding Jared should be a piece of cake. Right?

  Wrong.

  I zip through hordes of travelers before I find a cluster of screens displaying the endless lists of outbound and inbound flights.

  Ok…Departures. Got it.

  Destination: Notre Dame? That’s not right.

  I look up flights to Indianapolis, thinking that would be my safest bet.

  “South Bend,” a voice whispers, slipping into my ears and echoing inside my head. I whip around, looking for the source, but no one is there. It’s as if I didn’t even hear it all, that I just imagined the familiar voice. At least, that’s what I want to believe.

  “Get out of my fucking head,” I mumble, turning my attention back to the screens. I find a flight to South Bend, IN scheduled to leave in the next thirty minutes. Shit! How am I supposed to catch him before then? I look towards the line of disgruntled people waiting to go through security and shake my head. There’s no way I’ll make it in time, but I’ll hate myself if I don’t at least try.

  Luckily, the ticketing counter is shorter than I expected, and I reach an attendant within minutes.

  “Ma’am, I need the cheapest flight you have. And I don’t care where it’s going.”

  The blonde behind the counter tips her head to one side, as if she didn’t hear me correctly. “You don’t care where it’s going?”

  I shake my head. “Just whatever you have. And hurry please.”

  She smiles, looking down at her screen as she taps on the keys. “Going to stop the one that got away from getting away, I presume.”

  “Something like that.”

  She hits a key, causing a printer to spit out a strip of paper. Then she hands me a boarding pass. “In that case, it’s on me,” she grins, her eyes warming until they look almost…golden. It’s only for a second, but I swear I see the bright flash of light in her those shimmering irises. She’s Light. Oh my God. There’s so much I want to know, so much I want to ask her. But if I don’t run now, I won’t catch Jared.

  “This should get you through security faster as well,” she says pointing at an emblem on the boarding pass. “Life is too hard to spend it without the people you love. Don’t let him get away.”

  I swallow the sudden burst of emotion in my throat and nod. “Thank you,” I reply in a raspy whisper.

  The attendant smiles and nods once. Her nametag says “Analiese.” I commit it to memory, mentally promising that I’ll come back and find her. Maybe that’s insane of me considering that a Light Enchanter was responsible for capturing and nearly killing me, but I don’t feel anything but goodness in Analiese’s eyes. That has to count for something.

  I whiz through security just like she said, not even having to stop to take off my shoes. Then I book it to Jared’s gate, hoping, praying that he hasn’t already boarded.

  When I see a flash of chestnut hair and a set of broad shoulders stretched under a fitted polo shirt, I slow to a crawl. Jared. The beautiful boy I watched grow into a gorgeous man. The guy that was good for me—right for me. I always imagined that if Chris had had his way, he would’ve chosen Jared for me. A part of me thinks my parents always encouraged a potential relationship. They never bickered about me staying out late with him. They constantly asked about him. And whenever there were family functions, Chris and Donna always made sure that Jared was in attendance.

  In a different place and time, Jared would have been my soul mate. Maybe he is even now. But looking at him—so carefree and excited to embark on his new journey—I see why Dorian did what he did. How could I ever think Jared would be happy with me, complacent in a l
ife that wasn’t designed for him? Cursed to live among monsters and murderers? He’s too good for me—he always has been. And as much as I want to be selfish and keep him for the rest of his days, I can’t. I can’t take away his life like that. I love him too much.

  “Jared?”

  He turns around, light russet hair falling into his eyes. He brushes it away and gives me a friendly smile. “Yes?”

  “It’s me. Gabs.”

  A small frown pinches his forehead and he rubs the back of his neck. It’s a nervous gesture. Of course, I know his body language like my own. “I’m sorry. Do I know you?”

  That bloody knot hits my throat with a vengeance, generating a gasp to slip between trembling lips. I can’t help the tears that automatically rim my eyes. Shit. I cannot cry right now. Why does it feel like I’m always fucking crying lately?

  “You do. You did.” I swallow, praying for strength to make it through my next words. “You’re my best friend. And you used to be…”

  God. I can’t do this. I’m just torturing myself. Jared doesn’t know me anymore. I’m just some crazy, braless girl in ripped jeans accosting him in the airport. And even with every reason to walk away and escape the awkwardness, he’s still smiling down at me, giving me his attention. Because he is just that damn good.

  “Yes?” I can see the confusion on his face as he tries to look for signs of recognition.

  “You used to be more. We used to be…together.”

  He laughs, not to be condescending, but more to break the ice. “I don’t think so. I’d definitely remember a pretty girl like you.”

  “Final boarding for all passengers on flight 2306 to South Bend, Indianapolis. Please make your way to gate B3 immediately,” says a crackly voice over the airport’s intercom. Jared looks toward his gate before shrugging.

  “Well, I better get going before the plane takes off without me. It was good meeting you…Gabs, right?” He extends his hand, and it takes everything within me not to grab it and drag him out of this airport, kicking and screaming.

  “Yeah. Gabs. Good luck, Jared. You’ll do great at Notre Dame. I know you will.” The second I put my hand in his, a surge of energy passes through my body and transfers to his. Like a little jolt of electricity. He pulls back with a wince and stuffs his hand in his pocket.

  “How did you know…? Sorry, never mind,” he mumbles, a soft blush warming his face. “See ya around, Gabs.”

  I watch my best friend—my rock—turn around and walk into his future. One that is painted with hopes and dreams. With love and happiness. A future without me. When he reaches the flight attendant and hands her his boarding pass, I force myself to walk away, tears streaming down my cheeks. I’m letting him go for good. I’m setting him free.

  I make it a few yards before I see Dorian, standing against a wall, so still and expressionless that human eyes would have mistaken him for a marble statue. When my gaze meets his, he grimaces, feeling the full-brunt of my pain. He holds his hand out, offering me solace and comfort, and as much as I want to take it—as much as I want to fall into his arms and cry—I shake my head and keep walking.

  He can’t fix this. He caused this. We all did. Maybe me more than anyone else.

  “ALL THE ARRANGEMENTS have been made for our trip down south. We leave tonight, so tie up any loose ends you may have. However, it’s best that you tell no one of our departure, friends and family included.”

  A weary Niko looks at all of us stationed around the living room, pinning us with a dusky blue gaze. His eyes aren’t as bright, and dark circles surround them. He’s trying hard to maintain the façade of immaculate beauty and control, but the mask keeps slipping. He’s used a lot within the past few days, and he needs to rest and replenish. The question is when…and with whom.

  “Listen to me,” he says, his dark stare darting between Morgan and me. “You can’t trust anyone. Even people you’ve known your entire life. We don’t know who has been compromised.”

  “Wait a minute…what does this have to do with me?” Morgan scoffs.

  Niko raises a mocking brow. “You’re coming with us. It has everything to do with you.”

  “What? I didn’t sign on to go anywhere. Especially not with Harry Pothead and the Hogwarts gang. Oh hell no. I’m staying here.”

  I see Niko flinch for a fraction of a second before his face falls into an impassive guise. “Suit yourself. But considering that you’re completely defenseless and your sight has caused you so much turmoil that you tried to dig your veins out with a steak knife, I give you all of 24 hours before someone comes a-knocking and kills you, or you attempt to do the deed yourself.” Before her very eyes, he flashes in front of her on the couch, leaving a trail of charcoal grey smoke. He’s so close to her face—nearly nose to nose—that I can hardly make out the terror in her eyes. “But Morgan, do us all a favor and get it right this time, love. Because if we have to come back here—if you cause just one more ounce of distress—I swear, I will finish you myself. Got it?”

  Morgan is stunned speechless—something I’ve rarely witnessed in all the years we’ve been friends. She nods once before scooting to the far end of the couch and wrapping her arms around her knees. Niko stands casually from his squatting position and retakes the floor. I open my mouth to chastise him, but Dorian beats me to it with a single mumbled word. It’s not English or even the Dark tongue. It sounds Greek, and whatever he said sounds like a reprimand.

  Niko shrugs it off and looks back at Morgan and me. “Well now that’s settled…get packing. And find something to do with that little rodent you call a dog. It’s not coming with us.”

  I cast a glance across the room to Dorian, whose usual cool expression is marked with a hint of dejection. The moment his cold eyes touch mine, they soften and warm, inviting me to walk the ten steps into his arms. It would be so easy to let him in, to let him erase all the hurt. But then what? Will I be accepting him in an act of forgiveness? Or just covering the gaping, festering wound with a band-aid?

  I turn around and retreat to my bedroom before it gets too hard to deny my heart and body any more. Just as I pass the threshold and close the door, a blur of movement catches my eye, and Niko manifests on my chaise stationed in the corner of the room. Legs crossed at the ankles and hands folded behind his head, he leisurely lounges as if he didn’t just trespass into my private space.

  “Nice of you to knock,” I mumble, stalking to my closet to retrieve my suitcase.

  “Well, someone is just a ray of golden sunshine,” he replies, a playful smirk on his lips. He turns his head just as I wrestle my bag from the endless pit of my walk-in closet, and his expression changes to something more solemn. “Thought you’d like to know that Chris is safe. His job is transferring him to Hawaii. Warm climate, lots of sun. It’ll be like a permanent vacay.”

  I swallow down the knot that instantly forms in my throat just at the mention of my adopted father. “And he’ll be safe?”

  Niko tips his head. “Along with having no memory of you, he no longer has a trace of your scent. To the Dark, all humans look the same. They’re like cattle—we can’t distinguish one from the other unless they are marked or have a trace of magic. Chris has neither. Someone could scan his memory and they would find nothing.”

  I nod, despite my true feelings, and busy myself with the task of stuffing clothing into my suitcase. “Good.”

  “I heard your human boy toy got the same treatment.”

  Anger flares behind my eyes, tingling with frostbite. My neck twists so quickly that my body contorts unnaturally before catching up with the movement. Niko visibly flinches before a slow, sinister smile slithers across his lips.

  “Aren’t you a vicious, little creature. I thought this was what you wanted, Gabs. For your loved ones to be safe.”

  I close my eyes, taking a beat to bite back my temper. “It is what I want. But you don’t have to take such joy in it. You’re acting as if this is fun for you. Hell, look how you just treated Morgan
, after all she’s been through.”

  “Morgan is naïve and spoiled, and needs a hefty dose of tough love if she has any chance of survival. She doesn’t have a year to adapt like you did. So the quicker she gets that this is her life now, the better off she’ll be. So yeah…if I have to play the villain just to wake her ass up to reality, I’ll do that. Better to hurt her feelings now, than cause her more unbearable pain later.”

  I give up on trying to pack and sink down to the floor, rubbing my temples. “I know, Niko. And I’m grateful for all your help. It’s just…I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve got all these questions—all these feelings. And these thoughts…thoughts I’ve never had before.”

  “What kinds of thoughts?”

  Violence. Rage. Murder. Sex.

  I shake the voice from my head. “Do you remember your ascension? Did it…change you?”

  Niko sits up in a flash of motion. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, did you find yourself thinking about things you didn’t think about before? Or wanting things you knew were bad?”

  A soft smile twitches the corner of his mouth. “Ah, yes. The Dark elements are stronger than you anticipated. It’s normal, seeing as you are in the present company of so many of us. You absorb our essence—we feed off each other. You’ll find it may be the same when in the present of Light.”

  His words spark my remembrance and I sit up on my knees, excitement running through me. “I saw a Light Enchanter today at the airport. She helped me get to Jared. Do you think she knew who or what I am?”

  Niko narrows his eyes and purses his lips, natural distaste for his brother race souring his tongue. “Doubtful. If we can’t detect you, I highly doubt their senses are superior. What did she say to you?”

  “Nothing,” I shrug. “I mean, she gave me a boarding pass to get to Jared, saying something about not letting love get away, but nothing that would allude to what she is. I tried to go back to talk to her, but she was gone. And an airline attendant said that no one worked there matching her description or name. If I hadn’t seen the flash of Light in her eyes, I wouldn’t have known.”