For the Love of Logan

by Chase Connor

  “I thought maybe you might need some company.” He shrugged.

  I gave him a disbelieving look.

  “Okay.” He rolled his eyes. “I mean, I did think that, but Coop did kind of hint the other day that you were probably lonely over here.”

  I frowned.

  “I was planning to come over here anyway, though, douchebag.” He laughed. “But, when Coop said that…well, I realized that I was right. I’m not usually right, so it was kinda awesome when Einstein confirmed it.”

  I stopped frowning and laughed.

  “So,” A.J. took a huge bite of a taco, “I figure that you and Alex are having a bitch fight or something. True or false?”

  “Are you going to run your fat mouth if I answer?”

  “I don’t get enough credit around here.” He spoke around the mouthful of taco. “People act like I spread rumors and shit. The rumors are always spread about me. I keep my fucking mouth shut, man.”

  I thought about that. He was right.

  “True.” I relented.

  “I thought so.” A.J. nodded. “Coop and Alex are tied at the damn hip, so if you weren’t eating with us, and Coop was upset about that, logic dictated that Alex was mad at you or vice versa.”

  “You actually sounded smart for a second there.” I snorted, pulling a samosa out of my box of food.

  “Told you.” A.J. snorted. “I get no credit around here, man. I’m actually an A minus student, ya’ know.”

  I laughed.

  “Whatever it is, man, Coop will make Alex see the light.” His mouth seemed to stay full of taco mush. “Coop always keeps Alex in line one way or another.”

  “How do you know it’s not my fault?”

  “’Cause you’re a nice guy.” A.J. looked embarrassed to pay another guy a compliment. “Other than Coop, you seem to have your head on your shoulders the tightest.”

  I couldn’t help it, I blushed.

  “Don’t be such a queer.” A.J. rolled his eyes. “I just meant that…”

  Then…something happened to me. Something that was happening a lot lately. I was tired of being sad and depressed and lonely and just…not me.

  “I’m gay, A.J.” I gave him a fiercely offended look.

  A.J. didn’t even look shocked. His neck extended and his head went up like a meerkat as he looked around for a second. It looked like he was making sure no one was listening.

  “Is that why you, Alex, and Coop hang out so much?” He bit into his taco again. “Power in numbers and everything? So you can commiserate?”

  “What?”

  A.J. leaned in. “Well, I mean, I know I said I don’t spread rumors just a minute ago—but you know they’re a couple, right?”

  I blinked rapidly at A.J.

  “I knew that. You’ve kept that to yourself all this time?”

  “Of course.” A.J. scoffed. “Why would I be a dick and screw some of my best friends over? I wouldn’t go around this place telling people stuff like that. Alex and Coop are awesome, man. I don’t want people to fuck with them.”

  I just stared at A.J.

  “Besides, I mean, guys who are bisexual shouldn’t throw stones or something like that.” He shrugged, then looked up at me, blushing.

  “Can I tell you something?”

  “Sure.” He shrugged.

  “This has been the strangest fucking week of my life.” I chuckled.

  “Dextrus Academy, man.” He picked up his soda and tipped it at me in a mock-toast. “This place is always fucking strange.”

  We laughed together and I shoved the rest of my first samosa in my mouth.

  “Did you, Caden, and Martin really streak through Manning Hall the other day?” I cocked an eyebrow at him.

  “Of course, not.” He rolled his eyes.

  “Something Cooper was wrong about for once.” I snorted, amused.

  “We still had our underwear on.” He added with a grin.

  I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help and laugh.

  “Ya’ know, it’s not really streaking if you aren’t actually naked.” I teased him as I dug out another samosa.

  “You got me there.” He nodded. “But I didn’t want anyone to be jealous of the size of my dick.”

  “You wish.” I laughed.

  He just shrugged.

  “I’m in a medical journal somewhere I think.”

  I laughed loudly.

  “Guinness has been calling, but I just haven’t had the time to go get measured, have pictures taken…you know how it is.”

  “You need to stop, dude.” I laughed.

  “Why?” He grinned evilly. “Am I getting you all moist?”

  “Gross.” I couldn’t help but smile. “But no.”

  “Damnit.” He sighed. “Thought for sure you’d be intrigued enough to at least ask me to the movies or something. But if you want to be an asshole…”

  This sudden, roundabout way of being asked out by a guy I’d been friends with for months, and hadn’t even known was bisexual until moments ago, made me choke on my samosa.

  “Sorry.” A.J. blushed deeply. “I mean, I was just…well, just forget about it. I’m sorry if I upset you, man.”

  “N-no.” I sputtered as I reached for my tea and took a long drink. “You didn’t upset me. I was just surprised.”

  I took a long look at A.J. He was actually a nice-looking guy. He was funny—though abrasive at times. But, obviously, under that façade of “randy eighteen-year-old pervert”, there was a guy who saw a lot of things and kept them to himself. And…he was actually pretty kind in a strange way. I mean, yeah, he was kind of short. He wasn’t built like a Greek God or anything—but he was still very attractive. Did I want to go on a date with him?

  How did I one day almost ruin a friendship by worrying myself to death about not having any guys interested in me, then have two different guys ask me out in the same week?

  “I mean…I wouldn’t be against going to the movies with you.” I blushed.

  “I know I’m not like…” He motioned vaguely at me.

  I frowned.

  “Super hot or anything like you.” He blushed again. “But…I’m actually a really nice guy. I swear.”

  “You’re very good looking, A.J.” I frowned at him. “Don’t be like that.”

  He smiled and looked down, embarrassed.

  “Well, we could go see a movie tonight?” He shrugged.

  I grimaced.

  “I have plans tonight.” I sighed.

  “Oh. It’s cool, just ya’ know, whenever or…”

  “How about tomorrow night?” I suggested with a smile.

  He grinned widely.

  “Fuck yeah. I’d love to.”

  “Then,” I looked around again, “it’s a date.”

  “It’s a date.” He nodded.

  We both dug into our lunches again, grinning and blushing, suddenly very aware that we had moved from casual friends to something more. No matter what happened on our date, we’d never just be “casual” again.

  “So, you never gave me a straight answer. Do you stroke it back here or what?” A.J. teased.

  “Don’t ruin this nice moment.” I rolled my eyes with a smile.

  A.J. laughed loudly.

  “Well, then.” He feigned haughtiness. “I am also looking for a partner for our poli-sci project. If you’re interested. Professor Abrams will start assigning partners if we don’t all find our own soon…and I’d really like to work with you more than anybody else in that class.”

  “You don’t want to work with your buddy Caden?” I teased.

  He rolled his eyes.

  “Between you and me, I have to carry that fucker’s weight every time we partner up. I’d like to have one project partner in my high school career who isn’t totally lazy.”

  I chewed at my lip. “I’m only getting a B in Abrams’ class.”

  “You’re a hard fucking worker, though.” He waved me off. “I’ve seen you and Coop studying and how hard you work
in class. So, with my A minus and your solid B, we can easily get a B plus at the very least.”

  “Okay.” I agreed. “But if I bring your GPA down, don’t come crying to me.”

  “Doubtful.” He waved me off. “Besides, if I blow it on our date, you’ll be forced to hang out with me anyway. I’ll win you over one way or another.”

  I stared at A.J.

  “Why are you just now acting like this?” I frowned. “To me?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Admitting to me that you’re bi. Being nice. Not acting like a total idiot like usual.”

  I was desperately hoping he wasn’t pitying me over the Cooper and Alex debacle.

  “Honest answer?”

  “Preferably.”

  “I was kind of, um, enamored with you the first day you got transferred in—but I’ve never really told anyone about…me.” He replied. “Not even Coop and Alex, even though I knew that they were, ya’ know. Because I knew they were going to end up together, so why fuck with their thing, ya’ know? And between you and me—how fucking dumb is it that it took them so long to figure out they were in love? And I’m not sure how Caden and Martin would handle any of this. Not to mention all the guys on the team. And I didn’t know you were gay…so I didn’t tell you before. But, then you stopped eating lunch with us. Alex was acting pissy, Coop was upset…I kind of figured there was a little jealousy going on…and, well…here we are.”

  “You really are smart.”

  He held his hands up in a “told you so” type way.

  “I wish you had said something sooner.”

  “Well, even if I knew you’d be nice about it, I mean, you’re kind of, well, fucking hot, and I’m not that good looking. I’m short and a little dumpy.” He shrugged. “I thought you’d laugh at me. And since you’ve been upset lately, I thought maybe you’d take pity on me today so even if you weren’t interested, you’d be more inclined to kindness.”

  “Don’t say that about yourself again.” I frowned at him.

  “Okay.” He shrugged. “But facts are facts. I’m not fishing for compliments here or anything.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Well, just don’t.”

  “Okay.”

  “I like this A.J. here.” I gestured at him. “If I had known your little secret, and you acted like this more often, I would have asked you out, ya’ know.”

  He smiled.

  “Liar.”

  “You can think what you want, but I know myself pretty well.” I chuckled. “So, believe whatever you want, buttface, but I think you’re good-looking.”

  “Good-looking enough to get a kiss on the first date?” He waggled his eyebrows at me.

  “As long as you don’t ruin it by opening your mouth too much.” I teased.

  A.J. brayed loudly and set his food to the side in the grass. I mimicked his movements and picked up my Chai tea. For the rest of our lunch we sat there and talked. Really talked. Not about disgusting things. We didn’t make useless blasé jokes that didn’t mean anything. We didn’t pretend we were anybody but who we were. And it was the first time that I felt absolutely at home at Dextrus Academy. When lunch was over, I didn’t walk with Cooper to AP Psychology. I walked with A.J.

  Chapter 6

  Finding the MCFA main entrance isn’t that difficult once you get into Montpelier. It’s literally right on Main Street, just a few blocks from the Winooski River. Montpelier, for a capital city, is really not all that big and the population is less than eight-thousand. But there’s plenty to do for such a small town. One of my favorite Italian restaurants, except those in Burlington, was in Montpelier. And since Jay liked Italian food, that worked out well. In fact, Trattoria was just down Main Street, along the Winooski River, just a few blocks from Montpelier College of Fine Arts. Jay and I wouldn’t have to go far before we could dig into troughs of pasta.

  When I finally located the west entrance to the MCFA, I immediately spotted Jay, standing by the entrance sign, one knee bent, his foot braced against the concrete plinth. I smiled when he spotted me and waved goofily as my car approached him. I pulled up next to him and Jay slid into the passenger seat, a wide smile on his face. He blushed, as if he wasn’t sure how to proceed, then buckled his seat belt.

  “Is it weird that I was sure you weren’t going to actually show up?” His blush deepened.

  “Not weird, but…yeah, it’s weird.” I laughed as we sat there.

  “I just figured you were being nice.” He said. “But, here you are.”

  “Being nice?”

  “Well…it’s not often really hot guys show an interest in me.”

  “A lot of people today have implied that they assumed I’m shallow.” I frowned slightly.

  “Not shallow.” He replied quickly. “Just that you had a lot more options besides me I guess.”

  I shrugged. “Well, I’m here with you, so I guess my options are pretty good, actually.”

  He smiled widely.

  “Do I look freaking handsome or what?” He teased.

  Jay had worn dark blue jeans that were well-fitted, but not skinny jeans—thank God—a black crew neck t-shirt that was casual but high quality, and black shoes. His hair was coiffed within an inch of its life. And, well, Jay was good-looking, so this simple outfit made how handsome he was stand out. He was effortlessly attractive.

  “The handsomest, Jay.” I smiled back.

  We stared at each other for a moment before I cleared my throat and laughed nervously.

  “So, do you like Trattoria?” I asked, putting the car back into gear.

  “Never been.”

  “What?!” I pretended to be shocked. “You’ve gone to college here for more than a semester and never wandered down to the end of the street?”

  He laughed.

  “Sometimes I go with other students into Burlington—but only a few of us have cars, so we don’t get out much. We usually just go over to the brewery for dinner or something.” He indicated the tap house a few blocks away. “Every now and then we go over to Dog River Park and take the Megabus down to Boston or Providence on the weekends. Next month we’re going to fly down to NYC from Burlington for the weekend.”

  “That sounds awesome.” I grinned at him as I steered the car.

  “Yeah.” Jay agreed. “I’m kind of dying to see Christopher Street in New York. It’s the gayborhood after all.”

  “The…gayborhood?” I laughed.

  “Yeah. The gay neighborhood.” He smiled. “It’s one of the Meccas for us homosexuals.”

  “I guess I’m not up on all of my gay history.”

  “You should come with us.” Jay bounced excitedly in his seat. “The flight isn’t that expensive and we’ve already established that you’re one of those rich, white assholes, so…come with us.”

  “I’ve impressed you enough that you already want a second date?” I teased.

  “That’s putting the horse before the cart.” He quipped. “I just said you should come with us, not that it would be a date. I didn’t even say I’d hang out with you while we were there, Mr. Conceited.”

  “Well, I wouldn’t want to go unless you hung out with me.” I said. “What would be the point otherwise?”

  Jay blushed.

  “Are you always this nice of a guy?”

  “I’ve been accused.” I chuckled as I pulled up in front of the restaurant.

  “I can already tell that I’ve had a great time tonight.” Jay blushed. “And I hope you don’t play those bullshit games where you wait three days to text or call after.”

  “People do that?” I asked, unbuckling my seatbelt. “I thought that was just some urban legend.”

  “Guys do that.” He shrugged.

  I frowned at him, wondering how many guys had been that unkind to Jay in the past.

  “Well, as long as you don’t turn into a total asshole before this date is over, you’ll have a goodnight text from me later.” I teased him.

  “Then, I’ll try to stay
on my best behavior.” He laughed.

  We got out of my car and I used the key fob to lock it up and we walked into Trattoria together. When we got into the restaurant, we asked the hostess for a booth and, since they weren’t incredibly busy yet, we were shown to a booth in the back of the restaurant, out of the way. People complain about tables by the kitchen in the very back—but I love those tables. They’re usually away from other people and you can actually have a conversation with the people you are eating with. Sure, sometimes you get a little noise from the kitchen, but you’re also isolated where people aren’t listening in on your conversations. I waited for Jay to slide into his side of the booth and then I slid in across from him.

  As soon as the hostess had given us our menus and vacated the area, our waitress popped up out of nowhere. We both asked for waters and I asked her if she’d bring us an order of bruschetta—which is one of my favorite appetizers ever. Then the waitress was gone and we were left with our menus and only each other’s company. I looked across the table at Jay, wondering how to start a conversation with a virtual stranger. Sure, we’d talked plenty—but this wasn’t Cooper. Conversation didn’t come as naturally.

  “So…I don’t know what to say.” I just told the truth.

  “Well,” Jay sat back and smiled, “you are eighteen, right?”

  “Yes.” I nodded.

  “I realized right before you picked me up that I should have asked that already.” He laughed. “Just in case.”

  I chuckled nervously.

  “Nineteen.” He jabbed his thumb into his chest comically. “Born and raised in Costa Mesa. No brothers or sisters. So…oldest in my family. My dad works construction, my mom’s a teacher. Neither of them went to college. Always poor. So, when it became clear that I was college material, they were pissed that I wanted to go to an art school. Highly scandalous. They wanted a doctor or lawyer or…well, a son to brag about. Imagine the disappointment of having a gay son and then, once you adjusted to that, he told you he wanted to go to art school. They’re not super happy with me…but, they’re letting me live my life. That’s me in a nutshell.”

  I just blinked at him, overwhelmed with this sudden sharing of deeply personal information. And a lot of it.

  “Too much?”