by Sam Crescent
“Why are you telling me this?” he asked. “You don’t know me.”
“You won’t tell anyone, not even Lucius. I needed to tell someone, and you’re a newbie.”
“What about the other women?” Couldn’t she have picked anyone but him?
She shook her head. “We’re not close friends. We share one love, and that is the love of partying. I’ve got nothing else to share with them.” She stared up at the stars. “I take the pills because it helps to take the pain away. I could be in a hospital, hooked up to tubes, puking my guts up, and wishing for it to end, and I could spend my last days doing that. I wanted to be on the road, riding on the back of Lucius’s bike.”
“You need to tell him.”
“When I’m ready.”
“If you didn’t want him to know, why tell me? You don’t strike me as a woman who’ll open up to total strangers.”
“You’re a good guy. You will know what to do when the time is right. Lucius doesn’t love me like you love your woman. He cares about me a lot, but I think when I go, it will hit him hard. If you’re still around, will you keep an eye on him? Help him?”
He stared at her, really looked at her, and it was then that he saw how ill she was. “How long are we talking?”
“A couple of months. I may not even last that long.” Tears glistened in her eyes. “Life really is shitty.”
“Roxy.”
“Don’t. Please. Don’t change or be different with me. I couldn’t stand that.” She rested her head on his shoulder.
What the fuck had just happened?
Chapter Six
Piston County
“Dad, what’s a pussy?”
Devil paused on his bike and looked over to his son. A son that was growing up too fast and scaring him with each passing day. It was Sunday morning, and while Lexie was working on dinner, he was working on his bike. They were having Ripper and Judi over, along with their kids. Natalie had also been invited over, which would bring Butler and Slash. His house was turning into a fucking love next.
“Why do you want to know?” he asked.
“What is it?”
“It’s another word to call a cat,” he said. Ha, easy way out of that one.
“Why does Slash want to lick a cat?”
The wrench Devil was holding clattered to the ground, and he glanced up at his son. “Excuse me?”
“Can you lick cats? That’s gross. They lick themselves all the time.”
“Please tell me what you heard? Did Slash know you were there?”
Simon shook his head. “Nope. He didn’t. He was staring in the mirror, and he was repeating words.”
“Like what.”
“‘Natalie, why don’t we go and have some fun? Natalie, I want to lick your pussy,’” Simon deepened his voice, and Devil hung his head.
“How about we have this talk when you know what reproduction is?”
“Tell me what it is?” Simon asked.
“Son, do you want to have an hour on my cell phone to talk to Tabby?” he asked.
“Yes, yes. What do I have to do?”
“Not talk about pussy, or ask any questions about reproduction until you’re … fifteen?” Devil asked.
“Awesome. Total deal, Dad.” Simon ran over, shook his hand, and Devil couldn’t believe he was bribing chat time with his son.
Maybe Tabby wouldn’t be such a bad idea as a daughter-in-law.
“You’re just too funny,” Lexie said, drawing his attention behind him.
“You heard that?”
“Maybe I should warn Eva that you’re using her daughter to get out of tricky situations.”
“I’m going to kill Slash. I really am.”
“Come on, it’s cute. He’s like a teenage boy with his first crush.”
“He’s a thirty-year-old man, and he doesn’t need to practice asking a girl out.”
“Natalie is not like every other woman. You have to admit, practice is needed with her.”
“He has to be careful. Simon’s getting more curious every single day. I don’t want to get a call from social fucking services because he’s repeated what some of the guys have said.”
“We’ll handle everything, Devil. You worry way too much.” She wrapped her arms around, and he hugged her tight.
“You always make me feel better about shit.”
He saw the flash of sadness in her eyes, and he knew why. “Don’t talk about her, babe. You’re his mother. No one else.”
She sighed. “Kayla—”
“No, Lexie. We agreed. She gave him up to you, and even though she was killed … I’m not going to confuse him.”
“You know Simon hears stuff he’s not meant to. What are we going to do if he hears one too many things? Are you just going to constantly keep him in the dark?” Lexie asked.
He stroked her cheek. He loved this woman more than anything. She had stripped just to take care of Simon. Simon was not her son, and he was, in fact, her nephew. She was not his mother, and Devil hated that. It was his biggest mistake, even though he loved his son so much. He wished with all of his fucking heart, which was owned by Lexie, that Simon was hers. “You’re too good for me, Lexie.”
The moment he had seen her, Devil had known without a doubt that he was going to love her, forever, and for always.
“I love you, too, Devil. You know that is not going to change, even if you try to distract me.”
“You know me so well.”
“I know you better than you know yourself.” She pressed a kiss to his lips. “Think about it.” She pulled away, and he watched her walk in.
“Did I miss the fun?” Slash asked.
Devil turned toward the man that had pissed him off. “Next time you preen or try to figure out how to get in Natalie’s pussy, do it in the privacy of your bedroom, or far away from ears.”
Slash frowned. “What?”
“Simon heard you. I don’t want to talk about trying to explain why you want to lick a pussy to my son. He thinks you like cats, Slash.” Devil watched as Slash paled. “Just so you know, women don’t want to hear you talking about licking their pussy until you get past the first date.”
“This is embarrassing.”
“You like Natalie?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Then figure out a way to tell her. She’s a smart woman. Ask, and she may surprise you.” Devil held his hands out. “You know what, I’m done. I don’t know when I became the advice giver, but I’m done.”
“Wait, Devil.”
When had he become the man they all turned to for relationship advice?” Duh, you’re married with five kids. You’re a success.
Turning back to Slash, he smiled. “Yes.”
“What about Butler? I think he likes her as well.”
“The thing about Butler, he likes people who are not complicated. Natalie is a pure soul. She doesn’t challenge his other needs. He finds peace with her. Advice is now done.” He held his hands up, and left.
****
“These are awesome,” Butler said.
Natalie smiled, tucking some hair behind her ear. They were her latest clothing sketches. She had been working on different fabrics and was hoping to have some new ideas for the next year. Working for Lexie with their clothing shop was a dream come true. She didn’t have to give up her dream. The problem was the ranch.
Her family was dead, and all that remained was herself. The ranch was hard work, and there were days that she woke up hating life.
“Thanks.”
They were not her best work. She knew it.
Taking the folder from him, she watched the children in Lexie and Devil’s backyard. She loved coming here. The love was so clear to see, and she loved being part of it.
“Something is bothering you. What is it?”
“It’s nothing. Not really. I’m just—”
“Don’t lie to me. That’s what you have Slash for.”
She held onto her art book, and for a spl
it second, she hated Butler. He always saw through her.
“You’re a pain. You know that, right?”
He rolled his eyes. “You’re not the first person to tell me that. You won’t be the last. Just a word of warning. I’ve learned how to be a hard ass. It’s part of my charm. Talk to me.”
“I want to move away from the ranch. I know my dad sold it to Devil, and you guys have been helping me out, but I can’t do this anymore.” She refused to cry. She had cried enough and wouldn’t be doing it again any time soon. “You could have kicked me out long ago.”
“That’s not what we wanted, Natalie.”
“Tomorrow, I’m going to go to Devil. He can do what he wants with the land. Sell it off, use it. I don’t care. I want out.”
“You’re sure.”
“Today I woke up, and if I hadn’t thought about coming here, I didn’t want to wake up. I didn’t want to deal with life. I don’t like waking up, and wishing I wasn’t here, Butler.”
“What does Slash say?”
“He tells me to keep my chin up. That my worries are not there, and that I can do anything. I believe him, but … ranching was never my dream. I like creating stuff. I’ve not been able to finish a single project in months.”
“You don’t need to rush,” Butler said.
“The point is, this is what I want to do. I’m not leaving, or going anywhere else. I want to create, and have new lines every year for Lexie, and the store. The online market is flourishing. We have a huge market right now, and I don’t want to lose that.”
Butler took her hand, and she saw the scars on the back of his. He was such a good friend. “I’m here, Natalie. Do what you want, and I will help you anyway that I can.”
She smiled. “Thank you, Butler.”
“Hey, Natalie,” Slash said.
Turning her smile to Slash, she saw him glance down at Butler’s hand.
She didn’t want to let Butler go, and she gripped his hand even tighter.
****
Lola logged onto her computer and put a search in for the local sex shop. When she found one that was open, she couldn’t stop smiling. It was the strangest feeling in the world. Bag in hand, she ventured out on a Sunday morning, which was strange for her. She usually preferred staying in and being a slob watching television.
Leaving her apartment into the crisp air was a welcome relief. She felt invigorated. Last night felt like a step in the right direction.
The walk to the sex shop only took twenty minutes, and she was a little embarrassed to go inside. She went for a coffee, and played around with her phone for a little bit.
Lola: Do I need to go?
Sinner: Sex shop?
Lola: Yeah.
Sinner: Do you want to have some fun tonight?
She giggled. Glancing around, she waited to see if someone was watching her. No one was interested.
Lola: Give me a little taste of what is to come?
Sinner: … No. trust me.
Lola: hate you.
Sinner: tonight you won’t be.
Pocketing her cell phone, she finished her coffee, paid the bill, and finally filled with courage to finally go into the sex shop.
The door closed, and she didn’t even realize that she had closed her eyes.
“Are you okay?”
She opened her eyes to see a woman there. She was young, perhaps in college.
“Hey,” she said, her cheeks heating as she moved away from the door.
“You’re a virgin.”
“Excuse me?”
“You’re a virgin to the world of sex shops. It’s okay. Nothing here will bite unless you want it to,” the woman said. “Have a look around, and if you need anything, don’t be afraid to shout.”
Lola nodded, and holding her bag close to her, she started to look at the many array of different devices.
What the hell?
Lola was completely out of her depth. When she saw some rings that were labelled cock rings, she couldn’t resist. Snapping them on her cell phone, she sent the picture to Sinner asking if he’d like them as a present.
She had a second to wait before he replied.
Sinner: Very funny.
It was like she could hear his laughter, and it calmed her. There was whips and chains. She posed, took a quick snap, and sent it to him.
Her first picture for him in months. Her heart was racing as she waited.
Sinner: You’re beautiful. Get a crop if you want it used on your ass.
She moved away from the crops. There was no way anything like that was being used on her skin.
Through the shop, she went around, snapping random pictures, and as she did, she forgot about the woman in the shop, or the other customers that had filtered through. When her cell phone began to ring, she jumped.
Sinner was calling.
“Hey, honey,” she said, answering.
“Are you still in the shop?”
“Of course. I’m still trying to decide. It’s hard to do.” She hummed. “Should I get a vibrator, nipple clamps? This is like a treasure trove of pleasure. Why have I not been here before?”
Sinner growled. “If I was there right now, I’d be doing nothing but naughty things to you.”
“I wish you were here.” She licked her lips and told him her address. “I just thought you’d like to know in case you were ever close to me, you know?”
“I’ve already got your address, babe. Lexie gave it to me, and now that I know I’m invited, I’ll certainly think about it.”
She smiled. “So, what do you think? Vibrator, dildo.”
“Get all three.”
“Three?”
“Get the nipple clamps. When you’re confident enough you could send me a picture. I would love to see you in them.”
She grew wet thinking of taking pictures of herself for him to see.
“Can I ask you something?” he said.
“Of course.”
“If you know someone was sick, and they were keeping that sickness to themselves, what would you do?”
“Wow, talk about a biggie. I don’t know. Are you sick?”
“No. A friend of a friend. She told me but won’t let me tell another friend.”
“It’s a she?” She couldn’t help the strike of jealousy that rushed through her. Your fault. You could be at Piston County without any of this.
“Yeah. I met her yesterday. She’s sick, and I know her friend. Anyway, it’s complicated. Forget I asked.”
Feeling like the worst girlfriend in the world, if that was even what she was anymore, she offered her advice. “There’s a reason she told you, and not her friend. It’s not your secret, Sinner. Would you want someone to tell that secret if it was you?”
“No. You’re right.” There was some commotion, and she knew what he was going to say next. “I’ve got to go. Chat soon, babe.”
He was gone, and she stared at her phone once again. “Have a nice day, Sinner.”
What did you expect? Huh, you left Piston County on this bright idea of finding yourself, of being whole. What is whole? Is it being able to go to a sex shop without fear?
Forcing her head back to the now, she picked up the vibrator, the dildo, and nipple clamps.
She purchased them, and was still able to smile at the woman serving her. Points for not completely losing it. She felt better at least.
Taking her prizes back to her apartment, she sat down on her sofa with them on the table in front of her. Any arousal she had was completely gone.
This wasn’t about Sinner’s predicament with the other woman either. No, this was about her own problems. Master. The guy who had taken her. He’d ordered her to call him Master, but the truth was, his name was Andrew.
He was dead.
There was no danger of him ever coming back.
Rubbing at her temples, she tried to clear her head.
Sitting alone in her apartment wasn’t helping her. Without grabbing anything, she left her comfort
able place on the sofa, to go for a walk. She didn’t watch where she was going, or even take stock of what she was doing. She just kept on going.
“Lola, please talk to us.”
“Mom, I’ve got nothing to talk about.”
“You’ve got to talk to someone about what happened. You won’t go near a computer, and you won’t even help in the kitchen. We’re worried about you, honey, and we’re allowed to be worried.”
“You don’t need to be worried about me. I’m fine.”
She hadn’t stayed with her parents for that long after her recovery. Every second she had stayed with them, she couldn’t help but wonder what they were thinking. She would catch her father staring at her, the pity in his eyes, making her sick to her stomach. It had been the final straw for her, which was why she ended up going to Piston County.
She found a bench in the center of the city, and she took a seat. Even for a Sunday it was busy, and she watched people, wondering not for the first time what they were all thinking or feeling. Did they even care what was going on in everyone’s life? Or maybe they had their own troubles and it didn’t matter.
There was a couple coming out of a clothing store. They looked wealthy, and she watched as the guy held the woman. He cupped her cheek and tilted her head back. It was as if everyone else faded as they looked at each other.
There was a mother with a child, and they were rushing past.
A guy walked past on his cell phone. “Yeah, yeah, I’ve told her I’m working late. When can I see you?”
She didn’t even know what that was about. On and on life passed her by, and she stayed still on the bench, wondering what she was going to do with her life. Time passed, and it was only when she noticed that it was dark, that she had a start.
Getting to her feet, she made her way back to her apartment, and before she could stop herself, she dialed Whizz’s number.
“Does it ever end?” Lola asked, trying to contain her sobs. “Does this feeling of being completely disconnected ever stop? Is there a way back, or do you just put on a good show?”
“Lola.”
“No, please don’t pity me. I don’t want pity. I want the truth.”
“It … gets better. That’s all I can really say. I’m not waiting for bad shit to happen anymore. You don’t have to keep looking for him, Lola. You’re free.”