by Leslie North
“Simple. We let the lady of the hour decide.”
She nodded toward Jade, several feet in front of them, whose childish impatience was growing with every passing second. Trevor raised an eyebrow, and Lacey shrugged her shoulders in a "what are you going to do?" gesture. Trevor mirrored the gesture, adding a heavy sigh as if he'd been charged with an unpleasant task to complete. Truth be told, though, he was thrilled by the idea. Anything that could make her face light up in that special way—he was all for it. He raised his voice to call after Jade, keeping his face as serious as he could, “Hey, little lady, come on over here for a minute!”
Jade turned to look at him, her eyebrow arched in a perfect imitation of his own often-used expression. Seeing that, he busted out laughing so hard that he had to bend forward and put his hands on his knees. Jade watched for a minute before trotting back to him, her head cocked in a question.
“What is it?” she asked, her voice teeming with curiosity.
"We've got a very important task for you. We need you to decide where we’re gonna set our blanket out, and if we don't get it right, we won't get the best spot to see you kiddos on the hunt. You can see my predicament, can't you?"
“Yup!” Jade said, nodding her head vigorously and looking over her shoulder as if all the best spots were being taken up even as they spoke. “I can do it!”
She took off running again, and Trevor held out an arm to indicate that Lacey should precede him. The two adults followed Jade as she darted from one place to another, running nimbly around the people in front of them and scanning the lay of the land, one hand shading her eyes. At last finding the perfect spot, she stopped abruptly, jumping up and down with her hands high in the air.
“This one!” she yelled happily. “This is the best place!”
Trevor spread the blanket, and Lacey got down on her knees to smooth it out. Trevor paused almost without thinking to feast on the sight of her. She was wearing a snug little sweater, the lilac color making her blue eyes pop in the morning sun. Her hair was pulled up into a messy knot on top of her head, but wisps of it had come loose, neatly framing her face. From where he was standing, she almost seemed to be wreathed in a halo. When she looked up and smiled at him, it felt like his heart stuttered.
“Aren’t you going to sit down?” she asked, her smile turning faintly quizzical.
“Sure am,” he answered, plopping down beside her, maybe a little closer than was precisely proper. He knew he shouldn’t, not after what had almost happened between them, but he couldn’t quite help himself. “Just please, tell me you’ve got some beer somewhere on your person.”
“Nope, too early for that,” Lacey said primly, biting her lower lip and trying not to laugh. “We’ve got pancakes coming after this, and something tells me the folks in the community center wouldn’t be too impressed with smelling beer on your breath.”
“What are you trying to do to me?” he groaned, rolling his eyes. He removed his cowboy hat and tossed it at her in mock disgust.
Laughing, she dodged easily, then shrugged her shoulders. “Pancakes can be fun, right? And I’ve got a thermos of coffee with your name written all over it.” He mock growled but took the offered drink, and when she let her fingers brush his for just the briefest of moments, he gladly took that, too.
“Can I go look now?” Jade demanded about a minute after they had gotten themselves settled. Trevor’s attention shifted immediately from Lacey to Jade. The idea of her running off, if only a few feet away, made him feel vaguely queasy. In an alarmingly short amount of time, he felt fiercely protective of her; protective enough that he would have gladly refused to let her leave his immediate vicinity until she was at least eighteen.
“Shoot, I don’t know—” he started to say, glancing nervously at Lacey. She smiled at him sweetly, but the look she gave him made it pretty darn clear where she stood. Trevor sighed and held his arms out to Jade, who came to him happily, throwing her own small arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.
“Okay, sweet girl, you can go play, but you make sure you stay where I can see you, you hear? If I look up and can’t see you, I’m gonna get scared.”
“You get scared?” Jade asked, pulling away to stare into his face. Her eyes were so wide, her mouth such a perfect O of shock, that he couldn’t help a chuckle.
“Not often, but sure, I get scared. So, how’s about you save me some trouble and stay close? What do you say?”
“I say yes,” she answered happily. She kissed him on the tip of his nose and then promptly turned and skipped off in the direction of a cluster of girls all approximately her age.
“Man,” Trevor laughed shakily. “That kid’s got a way about her, doesn’t she?”
“She really does,” Lacey agreed, her eyes full of tenderness as she watched Jade laughing with her new companions.
“You know,” Trevor continued, clearing his throat again and shifting restlessly on the blanket. “I’ve actually been thinking about talking to you about something. If that’s all right by you.”
“Oh,” she said quickly, her face flushing as she took a big sip of her coffee. After swallowing, she added, “I don’t know if that’s a good—”
“About Jade, I mean,” he interrupted. The last thing he wanted was Lacey thinking he was trying to get into whatever had almost happened between them. He had enough on his mind without going there.
“Oh! Well, sure, what’s up?” she asked, angling her body toward him. A look passed over her face so quickly he couldn’t put his finger on what exactly it was. He thought it might be disappointment, but then again it could have been relief. He’d never been good at reading people, especially not when it came to feelings.
“I’ve been turning it over in my mind, you know?” he said, leaning forward and watching Jade intently while he spoke. “I mean, about what’s going to happen to her.”
“To Jade?” Lacey asked quietly.
“Exactly. I’ve been thinking about what if Penny doesn’t come around again.”
“Yes, I’ve been thinking about that, too,” Lacey said with a sad smile. She hadn’t looked at him as they spoke, not even once, but kept her eyes glued on Jade. It didn’t take a genius to see that Lacey was genuinely concerned about Jade’s well-being, seeming to love the little girl every bit as much as he did. Seeing that, any doubt that she was the right one to talk to went out the window, where it had probably belonged all along.
“I hired a private investigator, you know,” he said, shifting uncomfortably again. He hadn’t had bad intentions, hiring the guy, but he felt guilty saying it now.
“Did you?” she asked, finally looking at him. Her eyebrows were lifted in surprise, but if she was judging him, she was doing a fine job of hiding it.
He nodded briskly and took another sip of his drink. “Yup, the day after Penny left Jade on my doorstep. I figured the guy could track Penny down, and we’d work out whatever made her drop her kid on my doorstep in the first place.”
“Have you had any luck?” Lacey asked. He thought he heard trepidation in her voice.
“None at all,” Trevor said. “It’s like she’s gone totally off the grid. Either something happened to her, or she really, really doesn’t want to be found.”
“I’m sorry,” Lacey said, although she looked uncertain as to whether it was the right thing to say.
Trevor shrugged his shoulders and grinned sheepishly. “That’s the thing, Lacey; I’m not so sure that I am. I’ve been thinking that if Penny can’t take care of her, I might like to take Jade on for good. Like, I was sort of mulling over the idea of trying to adopt her or something.”
It was the first time he’d said it out loud, even to himself, and the weight of the words left him dizzy. Never in a million years had he thought he would be considering a thing like adoption. He hadn’t wanted to be a father at all, hadn’t wanted to be anything to another person, didn’t want to take on the responsibility that came along with caring.
Jade, though, was differen
t. For the first time since finding out the truth about his parents, Trevor felt like he was forming a little family, and he wasn’t interested in letting it slip through his fingers.
“Oh my gosh, seriously?” Lacey asked, her eyes widening.
“Um, yeah, I mean, I thought—” he began, his insecurities growing with each passing second. Before he could get the whole thought out, though, Lacey practically launched herself at him, flinging her arms around his neck and hugging him tight enough to make breathing tricky. At least for the moment, any lingering awkwardness between them was gone. After the slightest hesitation, he hugged her back, inhaling deeply, closing his eyes as the scent of honeysuckle washed over him. When she finally began to pull away, he wasn’t sure he wanted to let her go.
“That’s so wonderful, Trevor,” she gushed, her eyes shiny with tears. “I mean, really and truly. Lord knows she must need some stability in her life.”
“You sure I’m the right one for that job?” he laughed uncertainly.
She frowned at him and put a hand on his upper arm. “Don’t do that, okay? Don’t do the whole self-deprecating thing.”
“I’m not sure what else I have,” he said, shrugging uncomfortably.
“Well, I am,” she insisted. “I’ve seen you with Jade every step of the way. I’ve seen how hard you’ve worked to get her to trust you. She loves you, Trevor, and it’s clear as day that you love her right back. You would make a wonderful father to her. I can’t think of anyone better.”
She removed her hand and took another sip of her coffee, humming happily to herself, her smile lighting up her face. As she watched Jade, Trevor watched her. For whatever reason, Lacey seemed to believe in him, really and truly. She was a smart woman, too, and her faith made him want to try a little harder to believe in himself the way she did.
As he watched her, though, he realized that he could think of something better. As much as he wanted to make Jade a permanent part of his life, even if everything went the way he wanted on that front, Lacey’s time at Winding Creek still had an expiration date. The closer the time came for her to leave, the more convinced he was that it would be better if she stayed.
“What is it?” she asked when she glanced in his direction and caught him staring. It was the perfect time to tell her that maybe he’d been a little too hasty when he’d pumped the brakes with them.
Instead, he grunted and looked away. “Nothing,” he said, a little more gruffly than strictly necessary. “Nothing at all.”
11
“Hey, Trevor! I know you’ve got all kinds of important manly tasks to take care of, but come up here and check out what I’ve done. I think you might be a little impressed!” Lacey was practically shouting as she bounded down the stairs in search of Trevor. It was late, long past dark, and she'd had plenty of caffeine to get her through the long day. It left her almost giddy with the adrenaline pumping through her body, making her feel excited without any real reason why.
Sure, the annoyingly practical voice in the back of her head said sarcastically. I’m so sure it’s got nothing to do with Trevor himself. Not like you’re falling in love with him or anything.
“It doesn’t,” she hissed to herself. “And I’m not. That’s quite enough of that.”
It was a lie, of course, and the worst—the kind you told yourself for the sake of self-preservation. A part of her knew that she was growing dangerously attached to Trevor McCall. That part always spoke to her in her mother’s voice, cautioning her that the only good scenario here was the one where she walked away and never looked back: a clean break. Lacey was getting pretty darned good at ignoring that voice, though, for the first time in her life. Her pleasure in being near Trevor, even if he didn’t want her the way she wanted him, helped to drown it out, and lately, she almost never heard it at all.
“Trevor?” she called again, smiling to herself. If she was lucky, he would be working on a particularly sweaty job. The type he took his shirt off for. Those were always the best days, in her humble opinion.
“I’m in here,” he called quietly. “You may want to hold it down some, though. Our little helper is totally zonked.”
Lacey rounded the corner to find two things. The first was that, unfortunately, Trevor still had his shirt on, a black mark against the day, to be sure. The second was that Jade was sprawled out like a starfish on the bed and breakfast’s couch, snoring lightly and completely dead to the world.
“Oops!” Lacey whispered, clapping her hand over her mouth. She studied Jade closely, waiting for the little girl to stir. Lacey had certainly been yelling loudly enough to wake the dead. But Jade only sighed, turned onto her side, and popped her thumb into her mouth. The achingly simple, childish gesture made Lacey’s heart hurt with stark love.
“Doesn’t look like it did any harm,” Trevor said, smiling fondly down at Jade. His own affection positively radiated off of him and sent a shiver of longing through Lacey. Whether or not he saw the change in himself, Lacey could tell that he was a different man than he had been at the start of all of this. He was more than the guy she’d always had a crush on growing up. Now, he was a man she could really love.
“What should we do?” she asked quietly. A quick glance out the window told her that it was even later than she’d thought. While she felt a pang of guilt for keeping Jade at the bed and breakfast so far past her bedtime, she was also relieved to see that it didn’t appear to bother Trevor in the slightest.
"Shoot, it's no big deal. She's already had her supper, and there's a room all made up and ready to go at the top of the stairs. We could just bunk here for the night, if it's all right by you."
"Sure," Lacey agreed, her stomach flip-flopping with excitement. "That's totally fine by me."
“Good. I’ll carry her up the stairs if you’ll grab her bunny. Don’t want to see what would happen if she woke up and found she didn’t have it there with her.”
Trevor scooped Jade into his arms, and she curled toward him, nuzzling her face into his chest and sighing dreamily. They moved up the stairs together, Trevor going first with Jade, and Lacey following close behind. She had a feeling that an outsider looking in would have thought them a little family just starting out together. Truth be told, she was having a harder and harder time not looking at it that way herself.
“Good night, sweet girl,” she heard Trevor whisper as he tucked the child into bed with her bunny. He leaned forward and kissed Jade on the forehead before tiptoeing back to the door where Lacey stood watching the scene unfold.
He turned for a last glance, shut the door softly behind them, and started down the hall.
“Oh, hey, what did you want to tell me before?” he asked when they were a safe distance from where Jade was sleeping.
“Oh, it’s nothing. Just silly,” she answered, feeling suddenly shy. She wasn’t sure what had made her go gallivanting through the bed and breakfast in the first place, insisting that he come and praise her accomplishments. Whether it was the caffeine alone or something else at work along with it, the feeling seemed to have largely worn off. Suddenly, she was acutely aware of the fact that they were now alone, save for a sleeping child, in a house designed to have a whole host of beds to choose from. The room she had been so excited to show him was a bedroom, for God’s sake. Not her most well-thought-out plan.
“Come on, don’t go shy on me now, Lacey,” he laughed, clucking his tongue at her in disapproval. "You sure sounded excited, and I'd like to see why. Nothing wrong with showing off a little every once in a while, is there?"
"No," she said hesitantly. She realized she was twirling her hair furiously around one finger, and pulled her hand down, anchoring it firmly in her pocket. "I guess there isn't. It's the room at the end of the hall, if you want to see it."
“I do indeed,” he said matter-of-factly. “So lead the way.”
Lacey did so, sure that he could hear her heart hammering away inside her chest. She opened the door to the bedroom in question and stepped inside,
not hearing so much as feeling him follow her and shut the door behind them. She told herself that he’d only done that last part to keep any conversation they might have from waking up Jade. That didn’t stop the wistful part of her from thinking he might have something else in mind as well.
“Wow, Lacey,” he said, adding a low, appreciative whistle. “This is really something. You’ve got a knack for this, haven’t you?”
"You think?" she asked breathlessly, looking around the room. At the risk of being vain, she had to agree with him on this one. The room struck the perfect balance between farmhouse comfort and industrial chic. It was full of little details she had agonized over, wanting to get every piece just right. At the moment, though, the only thing she could seem to look at was the bed: a large, inviting king-sized bed, ensuring that she could think of nothing other than what it would feel like to have Trevor’s hands on her skin.
"I do," he said softly, his voice strangely thick. He was closer now, too, so close that when she turned to look at him, she was startled by his proximity. His rich, chocolate eyes were bright and trained exclusively on her. The whole room seemed perfumed with the mingled scent of cedar and his sweat, a sweet, spicy smell that made her head spin. It was almost impossible to hear anything beside her heartbeat and the blood thudding in her temples. Any hint of her little voice of reason was drowned out, leaving her helpless to stop herself from doing something so completely unlike her, she felt like a different person.
“Lacey?” he said, his voice husky. It might have been her imagination, perhaps a trick of the light, but she thought he was trembling. She was well aware that she was about to open herself up to being summarily rejected yet again. Somehow, it didn’t seem to matter. All she cared about was tasting his lips on hers, even if for the last time.
"I know," she whispered, shaking her head as if helpless to do anything but move closer. Some of her hair fell into her face, but for once, she had no desire to twist it with nervous fingers. For the moment, she could think of only one thing she wanted to do, and the consequences be damned. He might reject her now, yet again, and it would hurt as much this time as it had the last.