by Desiree Day
There were snickers as Jessica squeezed between the too close tables. She felt like an elephant in a glass factory. With her head bowed and her face scrunched with determination she made her way across the restaurant. She was almost to her table when she heard a loud thump behind her. Just ignore it. Somebody probably dropped something. But curiosity got the best of her. She turned around to find all eyes glued on her and she immediately saw why. On the floor was a book the size of twenty Glamour magazines glue together. Oh no, I knocked that down?
“I’m so sorry,” she babbled as her face flushed to the color of a stop sign. “I didn’t see it.” She reached down to pick it up.
“That’s okay, don’t worry I got it.” The girl, a size zero, reached down and plucked up the book.
“Thanks,” Jessica stuttered as she hurried to her seat.
A couple minutes later Jessica watched as her mother balanced their order and effortlessly threaded her way through the maze of tables. “How do you do it?” Jessica blurted out as soon as her mother sat down.
“Do what?” Her mother asked before taking a sip of her hot chocolate.
“How come you’re so comfortable with your body?” She had never noticed her mother’s grace before now.
Her mother’s brow raised with amazement. “I won’t say I’m comfortable, but I just accept it.”
Jessica wrinkled her brow. “Isn’t that bad…to accept something is almost like saying you’re settling for it.”
Her mother laughed and her grey eyes sparkled. “You were always so smart, so logical, just like your father. You’re right, accepting something is sometimes thought of as settling.”
“So is that what you meant?”
Her mother considered her question. “I did,” she finally answered.
“Don’t you ever have the urge to lose weight? To be thin?” Jessica asked.
“Sometimes, but I’m too old. I can’t loose this stuff.” She sipped her drink then said softly, “I saw what happened when you walked in.” Jessica’s mouth opened with surprise then her face reddened with embarrassment. Her mother reached over and caressed her daughter’s face. “It wasn’t your fault. It could’ve happened to anybody,” she said lovingly.
“But it didn’t, it happened to the cow.”
“I don’t want to hear you talking about yourself like that again. You’re still carrying around some baby fat, it’ll melt away when you get taller.”
“It’s not baby fat Mom,” Jessica said softly. “It’s just plain old fat. Fat is fat no matter how you want to label it.”
“But you’re beautiful no matter what size you are.”
“In theory that’s nice, in fantasy land it’s a definite truth, but not in the real world Mom. And my world is high school and it ain’t pretty.”
“I’m sorry,” her mom said.
“It’s not your fault.”
“It is. Your father and I was never home, we were always traveling for his business.”
“But you didn’t stuff the food down my throat. You never force fed me.” Her mother stared pointedly at Jessica’s plate. “I could’ve said no.”
“I feel like I’ve given you the gun and now you’re shooting yourself.”
“You’re not to blame,” Jessica said trying to soothe her mother. “I’m responsible for what I put in my mouth. And you know what? I don’t want this,” Jessica decided and pushed her plate away.
“Honey, how do you really feel about your body?”
“I-I-,” Jessica stuttered. Her response was stuck in her throat as she watched Marco and Chloe step into the shop. They were headed in her direction.
Chapter 11
“How could you let this happen?” Samantha said then punched Matt in the arm.
“Ouch! I didn’t have anything to do with it.”
They were sitting in the cafeteria in the corner table.
“You could’ve told him that Jessica was crushing on him.”
“Men don’t talk about that stuff,” Matt huffed.
“Well, you ain’t no man. You should’ve said something, especially since you’re crushing on Chloe,” Samantha said slyly.
Matt watched the activity around him. The whole room was chaotic, but the normal peace at his table had evaporated. “I’m not,” he said finally. “Chloe isn’t my type but she was fun to talk to.”
“Yeah right! I think you want to do more than just talk.”
“She’s cute and she’s a good time waster.”
“Time waster?” Jessica asked.
“Yeah, that something or somebody who just fills the time until something better comes along,” Matt explained.
“So you’re not trying to find out what color her thongs are?” Samantha asked. Matt shook his head. “Do you even like girls?”
Matt looked frantically around to see if anybody overheard Samantha. “Of course I do. But I don’t have to like every thing that has two bumps sticking out.”
“Why are you bothering him,” Jessica asked. “He likes girls. Remember at football practice, he could barely keep his eyes off the cheerleaders.”
“Just checking,” Samantha murmured.
Tamia sauntered up to their table wearing a cashmere sweater layered over a white tee, paired with jeans and her favorite boots.
“Wow look at this! She can walk own her own, I thought she had strings coming out of her butt that Chloe controlled,” Samantha drawled.
“LOL, I’m ROTFLMAO,” Tamia said sarcastically.
“Whatever.”
Tamia rolled her eyes. “Besides I’m not here to talk to you.” She motioned to Jessica.
Jessica hesitated, the last time she had seen Tamia they both were so drunk that if they had taken a sobriety test they would’ve been thrown twenty feet under the jail.
“Hi Tamia,” she said shooting her a tentative smile.
“Come on,” she said, nudging Jessica forward. Tamia shot a furtive look over her shoulder. “Just come with me,” she insisted. “I need your help,” she said when Jessica refused to move.
“With what?”
“Just trust me, you’re my friend.”
“Oh so now I’m your friend,” Jessica said derisively.
“You’ll always be my BFFTTE.”
“Only when it’s convenient.”
“Pluleazze.”
“Okay! Okay! Lead the way.” Jessica followed Tamia as she pushed through the door and made her way outside. The cool air hit them. “Hey! I’m not dressed for this weather. I’ma need my coat!”
“It’ll be okay. We’re not going to be out here that long,” Tamia promised. She darted toward the parking lot and halted between a Camry and Saturn.
“Why all the secrecy?” Jessica asked while hugging herself. It was cold.
“I don’t want anybody to hear,” Tamia answered and peeked around.
“To hear what? Would you finally tell me for Pete’s sake!”
“Okay,” Tamia answered. She breathed deeply, and said, “I want you to break up Chloe and Marco.”
“You want me to do what?”
“I like Marco and I want him.”
“So you want me to break them up?” Jessica asked slowly. Tamia nodded. “I thought Chloe was your girl?”
“She is. That’s why I can’t interfere. It would be wrong.”
“So it’s better for you to break them up via one degree of separation?”
Tamia jutted out her chin. “Yep. Can you do it? Will you break up Chloe and Marco for me?”
“She wants you to do what?” Samantha practically screamed.
“She wants me to break up Chloe and Marco,” she repeated for the third time.
“Isn’t this bananas?” Samantha laughed. “You want Marco and Tamia wants Marco, this is definitely an episode of The Young and The Restless. I have to give that Italian boy a second look,” she said.
“He’s gorgeous!” Jessica exclaimed.
“How weird, you like Marco and you’ve been given a chan
ce to break them up and he might run to you.”
“I’m not going to do it. It’s just wrong. I’ll let Tamia do her own dirt.”
“Sometimes you have to play dirty to get your guy.”
“This is the real world not some reality show. And I don’t play dirty.”
“Tell me you don’t want that fine boy.”
“Oh I do, but like I said, I won’t do anything like that. Like Martin Luther King said, ‘Let no man pull you low enough to hate him’. And I’m not going to be that hateful.”
“Check this out. The sister who sleeps on a man sleeps alone.”
“I’ve never heard that before. Who’s that?”
“A smart hot sister named Samantha.”
“You’re crazy,” Jessica frowned, but laughed.
Chapter 12
Jessica stared at the computer screen. The words put more fear in her than trying on a swim suit. Freshman dance, November 10. Jessica eyes bopped over to her calendar. Four weeks away.
“So are you going?”
The voice startled Jessica so much that she almost dropped her cup of green tea. She turned around to find Samantha grinning at her. “Don’t do that again,” she croaked.
“Are you going to the dance?”
Jessica shyly shook her head. “I don’t have anyone to go with.”
“What about Marco? This would be a good time for you to start some trouble between him and Chloe.”
“I told you I’m not into that Jerry Springer stuff. Chloe can have Marco. I’m done with that crap.”
“There’s Matt.”
Jessica scrunched her face up like she had just smelled a fart. “Ew! He’s not a boy…he’s my brother.”
“Do you want to go to the dance?” Samantha asked her friend.
“I guess…but not with Matt!”
“Go with him.” Jessica made a face. “What’s wrong now?”
“I can’t go with Matt!”
“What’s wrong?” All of a sudden her eyes widened. “Ooh you’re ashamed of him! That’s it you’re embarrassed to go out with someone bigger than you.”
Jessica looked around to see if anyone was listening to them, she got a couple glances thrown in her direction, but the majority of people stayed glued to their computers. “Would you stop talking so loud? I swear you’re going to have half the school up in here knowing my business,” she hissed.
“Up in here?” Samantha smirked. “Okay, you’ve been hanging around Matt and me for too long.” Her tone softened. “But you’re wrong for being ashamed of Matt, yeah he’s big, but he’s good people. Discriminating against your own kind, I wonder if there’s a name for that?” She tapped her finger against her forehead and pretended to be in deep thought. “Oh I got it, jerk! And you’re a wrong jerk!”
“But can you just imagine us together? two whales. And I can just imagine what people will say when we walk in together.”
“They’ll say, ‘look who’s here together, Matt and Jessica’”
“Yeah, humongous Matt and Jessica.”
“So what,” Samantha shrugged. “Can you imagine what people say about me and Sean whenever they see us together? You know, he’s about half of me. How many times do you think I’ve heard, ‘Is she your snow blocker?’ or ‘Aren’t you afraid she’ll crush you?’ You just suck it up and deal with it. You can’t let yourself be judged by other people standards.”
“I don’t know,” Jessica hedged, thawing a little.
“Come on, please go! Sean and I are going,” Samantha admitted.
Jessica’s eyes widened. “You’re going with Sean? You weren’t going to tell me?”
“I was!” Samantha protested. “But we got started on your situation and we got locked in on that so I didn’t get a chance. But yes, Sean and I are going together. He asked me this morning,” she said and grinned broadly.
“You’ll go without me?” Jessica asked.
Samantha put her hand on her hips and cocked her head at her friend. “Oh hellz yeah. You’re my BFF,” she said with a chuckle. “But Sean’s my man and he can make me feel things that you can’t. So yes I will go without your trifling behind. But, you know you can go, all you have to do is ask Matt.”
“Maybe I’ll wait for him to ask me.”
Samantha rolled her eyes. “Don’t make me slap you girl. Call that boy up and ask him to the dance.” She turned on her heel. “I got to go. But the next time I talk to you, I want you to have a date to the dance. Bye.” She flounced off.
“Bye! See you at lunch,” Jessica called after her. She watched how gracefully her friend moved. “She didn’t say that the date had to be with Matt.”
Later that day, Jessica and Samantha saw Matt in the lunchroom. They joined him at their table. In front of him sat a lunch tray filled with roasted chicken, asparagus, rice and a container of apple sauce. All approved foods Jessica noted. She tried to ignore her tray with a bag of Doritos, a fudge brownie and chicken Caesar salad.
“Have you asked him yet?” Samantha whispered in Jessica’s ear.
“No!” she hissed back. “I’ll do it when I’m ready.”
“Are you going to the dance?” Samantha asked Matt. Jessica almost choked on a piece of chicken. Snatching up her glass of water she glared at Samantha.
“I haven’t decided yet,” Matt answered.
“What about if a cutie asks you, will you go with her?”
Matt snorted. “Who’s going to ask me? I’m sure they all think that I’ll either crush them or eat all their food.”
“I know someone who might be interested.”
“Saman—”
“Who?”
Samantha cut her eyes at Jessica. “I guess she’s talking about me.”
Matt put down his fork. “You?”
“Yeah. I was just thinking…”
“What?”
“I was just wondering…”
“What?” Matt asked getting impatient.
“Well, I think that I’m going to the dance.”
“What she’s trying to say,” Samantha interrupted. “Is would you like to go to the dance with her.”
Matt’s eyebrows shot up to the moon while he continued chewing. Jessica wasn’t sure if he was doing the twenty chews per mouthful or just stalling for time.
“With you?” he finally asked, looking at Jessica.
“Yes with me,” Jessica mumbled. “I just thought it would be kinda nice for us to go to—”
Seeing her friend in distress, Samantha jumped in. “It will be nice. Sean and I are going, so we can all go together. Doesn’t that sound nice?”
“I guess,” Matt mumbled.
“Well, let a sister know what you plan on doing. Come on!” Samantha grabbed Jessica’s hand.
“Where are we going? I didn’t even finish my lunch.”
“We’re giving him time to think. I don’t want him to think we’re sweating him.”
“Oh.” Jessica was silent for a second then asked, “May I go back for my brownie?”
Samantha stopped walking and cut her eyes at her friend. “Is it on the approved food listing?” she mocked.
“You beeatch! Come on, I guess I don’t need it. Let’s sneak into the life transitions class room to see what they’re cooking today.”
“Cool, but be on the lookout for The Mack. She’ll be all on our butts if she sees us in that room.”
Today was their lucky day, the class had been studying the foods of Italy for the week and just finished cooking an authentic Italian dinner. Lasagna, Italian bread, fresh parmesan cheese covered the table.
“Perfect timing,” Ms. Berry said. “You can be our tasters.”
“How do you know her?” Jessica asked in an undertone as she and Samantha stood in line at the buffet.
“She’s my uncle’s girlfriend. She’s cool.”
“Sweet!”
When it was their turn at the food Jessica self-consciously peeked around to see if anybody was monitoring how much food sh
e was putting on her plate. It was then that she noticed that there were quite a few students from The Mack’s class sitting in the group. She immediately noticed that their plate was overfilling with lasagna and she knew that that wasn’t on the approved food list. “Well, when in Rome.” She loaded her plate with the goodies and joined the crowd.
Several days later, Jessica was sitting home and she received a text message. “Ill go w/u. M.”
“OMIGOD!” she immediately called Samantha. “He wants to go with me!” She shouted as soon as her friend picked up the phone. “He wants to go with me!”
“Who wants to go where?”
Jessica took a deep breath and said, “Matt, he’ll go to the dance with me.”
“Cool. Now don’t you feel bad? Look how excited you are. I’m so glad you asked him. You’re going to have a good time.”
“I know,” Jessica sheepishly admitted. Sticking the phone between her neck and ear, she picked up some Doritos and wrapped them in a strip of bacon. A second later it was in her mouth.
“What are you eating?” Samantha asked.
Dang! “Nothing,” Jessica lied.
“Doritos and bacon,” Samantha correctly guessed. “I can smell it through the phone.”
Jessica burst out laughing. “You’re crazy girl. I’m just so happy to be going.”
“Yeah, I’m geeked too. What are you wearing? How are you going to wear your hair? Are you wearing pumps or boots?” Samantha hurled the questions at her so fast that she went blank.
“I don’t know,” Jessica stuttered. “I hadn’t thought that far,” she admitted. “I was focusing on the date part.”
“We have to go shopping, we have too.”
Jessica didn’t want to tell her that all her mom had to do was make one phone call and Bridgette their personal shopper would be at the house with tons of clothes for her to try on. But shopping with Samantha would be hella fun. “Yeah, let’s go shopping. What about this Saturday?”
“’kay.”
“I’ve never been in a limo before,” Samantha gushed as she bounced around from seat to seat as though she needed a dose of Ritalin. Jessica smiled, Samantha had nearly passed out when she stepped out her house to find a black stretch limo sitting at the curb. Unfortunately, her father had to go out of town on business and her mother accompanied him, otherwise, she would have had her mother drive the Mercedes. And Nora had the day off.