Memories

by Sletten, Deanna Lynn

  Michael gently eased Dani onto the bed and quickly undid the rest of the buttons on his jeans, eased out of them, then joined her. Together they caressed and fondled, kissed, nipped and held each other until both needed to end the torture of wanting.

  As Michael slid his full length above Dani, he stopped a moment and studied her face. She smiled and brought her hands up to his face, tracing the outline of his jaw with her fingers through the silkiness of his beard. The gesture was so simple, yet it melted his heart as her fingers slowly made their way across his jaw line and down his neck, her own eyes smiling up at him.

  He bent his head low. "Do you have protection?" he whispered into her ear.

  Dani had to clear the fog from her head a moment before she realized what he meant. She smiled and pointed to the nightstand draw. Michael leaned over and opened it, pulling out a small blue packet from a box inside the drawer. His eyes sparkled with amusement as he looked from the packet, then back to her.

  "Left over from the Stallone boyfriend?" he asked teasingly.

  Dani chuckled warmly. "Jealous?"

  Michael leaned over her and softly kissed the hollow of her throat. "No, because I'm with you now."

  Dani reached up her arms. "Here," she told him taking the packet from his hands. Quickly she opened it and ever-so-slowly rolled it over him.

  Michael reached out and ran his fingers through her hair, a moan escaping his lips as she did it. Then, finally, both joined together in the pleasant release of body and spirit.

  Later, they both lay in the quiet room, curled under the cotton quilt. Michael had turned out the light on his way back from the bathroom and lay beside Dani, his left leg lying possessively over her. Strands of city lights from below filtered through the edges of the curtains, illuminating the room just enough so Michael could study Dani's face as they lay facing each other.

  Dani seemed unaware of his searching eyes as she unconsciously followed the trail of the scar that ran up and down Michael's leg. She knew its winding path perfectly, like a river beginning at the knee and zigzagging down to the ankle where it ended in a large expanse of scarred skin like a river flows into the wide ocean. This was his legacy of Vietnam, the scar that held together the leg that he had almost lost. It was proof that his nightmares were real, proof that would never let him forget his tour in hell.

  Michael continued watching Dani's face, savoring the way her hair framed it and the smoothness of her skin in the semi-darkness. Her expression was tender and caring, reflecting the way she was touching his leg now, as she had so many times in the past. She had accepted his pain without flinching or being horrified by it, so unlike any other woman he'd known. Even though she had been so young, she'd been more woman than any other who'd passed through his life.

  He reached over and brushed the hair away from her face, tracing it behind her ear, making her turn her soft eyes toward his. "What are you thinking?" he asked quietly.

  She continued to trace her finger up and down his leg as she answered him. "I'm two-thousand miles away, nineteen years in the past, lying in a bed in a small apartment where I spent the happiest time of my life." Her eyes reflected her trip into the past, all hazy and misty.

  "Those were happy times," he told her, running his hand down her bare arm and stopping to hold the hand that was touching his leg. Together they made the slow trip up and down the river.

  "Do you really remember much about our time together, or are your memories just a haze of me and all the other women who passed through your life?" She wasn't angry or accusing, only searching for the truth.

  Michael rolled over onto his back and Dani's hand trailed and stopped to rest on the inside of his thigh. She cocked her elbow and rested her head in her hand, staring down at Miguel as he studied the ceiling. But his expression was not as she had expected. His lips had a touch of a smile on them and his eyes sparkled in the dim light.

  "I remember the first time I saw you in regular clothes, not that silly green uniform you wore at work," he said. "You were heading out the diner door into the May sunshine wearing tight bell-bottomed jeans, platform sandals and the tiniest yellow tank top with ties going up the front. And I remember thinking how much I'd like to see it untied."

  "Which you did," she commented slyly.

  He turned his head a little towards her and continued. "I remember the first time I took you to the beach alone, without Vanessa. It was windy and cold and you borrowed my sweatshirt as we walked along the shoreline. All I could do was look at you with your golden hair blowing back, the sweatshirt billowing around you and I wished I was that sweatshirt, encircling you."

  "I remember the first time we made love," he continued softly. "And how sweet you looked yet so inviting and how scared I was that I might hurt you. How for the first time in my life I wanted to protect someone; thought of someone else's feelings over my own. Like the way I felt tonight. That I wanted you, yet I wanted to protect you from any harm that might come your way."

  Touched by what he said, tears stung Dani's eyes and spilled uncensored down her cheeks. Never had she known how deeply he'd felt for her. Never had she dared dream he had feelings for her at all.

  "You really do remember," she whispered and Michael reached up and brushed away a tear that rolled down her cheek.

  "Yes," he said. "And I always will." Then, slowly he took her back into his arms as together they found the passion between them again. The passion that had never really died even in the disguise of hate. The passion that only two people who knew each other completely could share.

  Chapter Fifteen

  The morning sun peeked through the edges of the curtains and spread its warm long fingers across Dani's back as she lay half under the quilt. She opened one eye slightly, then turned her head in the other direction, snuggling deeper under the blankets, wanting to return to the dream that had drifted through her sleep.

  In her hazy, half-asleep state, she wondered if last night had been a dream. At some point during the night, she thought she'd awakened to see Miguel staring down at her, gently stroking the side of her cheek. "I love you," the words had come softly from his lips, then he'd curled up beside her and fallen to sleep as she, too, drifted off. Had it been a dream?

  Eyes still closed, she reached over toward the other side of the bed but found it empty, the spot no longer warm. The faint smell of toast drifted into the bedroom, along with coffee and another aroma she couldn't quite identify. Dani sighed and smiled, knowing immediately where Miguel had gone to and once again drifted toward sleep.

  Michael padded into the bedroom and tucked one window curtain behind the window's turnstile handle, allowing the room to fill with warm, golden rays. Standing as he had the night before in jeans only with the top button undone, he crossed his arms over his broad chest and smiled. "Hey, wake up sleepyhead."

  Dani turned her head toward him, opened her eyes and let them adjust to the light that spilled in from the window. She saw Miguel standing there, the sunlight outlining his body and glistening through the silky darkness of his rumpled hair. "Good morning," she managed through half-closed eyes.

  "Good morning yourself. Breakfast is almost ready, so don't move out of that bed, I'm bringing it to you."

  "Can I pee?"

  Michael rubbed his hand through his beard as he pretended to ponder that for a moment. "Okay," he said in mock stern voice. "But then you get right back into that bed, you hear?" He turned and left the room as Dani watched him, admiring the slight ripple that appeared along the expanse of his back as he walked away.

  Once he was gone, she reached over the side of the bed and retrieved the nightie that lay rumpled on the floor, then headed to the bathroom while slipping it over her head.

  Looking into the mirror, she grimaced at what stared back at her and picked up her brush to try and mend the damage as best she could. After doing what she had intended, she re-entered the bedroom and smoothed the sheets and blankets into place, propped her pillows up and crawled in und
er the quilt, smoothing it as she sat there, waiting.

  Michael entered balancing a tray that held one large plate, a smaller plate with a pile of toast, two steaming mugs of coffee and two glasses of orange juice.

  "Here," he said, handing her the tray. "Hold on tight," then he walked to the other side of the bed and in one smooth motion planted himself next to her, crossing his legs at the ankles, a pleased expression on his face.

  Dani liked the way his eyes sparkled at her as he took the tray from her lap and placed it in the small space between them. When he smiled like that, he looked no different from the man she knew years ago. It was an incredible, youthful smile.

  "Smells good," she told him as she assessed the meal. "But only one omelet?"

  "There was only enough cheese for one," he told her, handing her a fork. "Besides, it's big. I figured we could share."

  Dani took her fork, cut off an end piece and placed it in her mouth. The eggs were so fluffy they melted away along with the cheese. "Hmm, this is great," she said after savoring it thoroughly.

  "Of course it's great," Michael said, putting an extra large slice into his own mouth. "I made it."

  "Oh, modest aren't we?"

  Michael shrugged. "When you're good, you're good."

  Rolling her eyes, Dani continued eating, enjoying every mouthful and watching Miguel enjoy his own. It felt comfortable being together like this, sharing breakfast and a few stolen smiles. Dani couldn't remember ever feeling this good with anyone else she'd been with. Never had there been the easy silences or carefree banter. She wondered briefly why it was like this with only Miguel.

  "So," she finally said after taking a small bite of toast. "What's the game plan for today?"

  "Whatever you'd like. Just so we're back here by three o'clock."

  Dani cocked an eyebrow. "Why, what happens at three? You turn into a pumpkin?"

  "If I keep eating like this, I probably will," Michael teased. "No, I made a plane reservation for five, so I have to get my stuff and to the airport in time to catch it."

  "Oh," Dani tried to hide her disappointment and reached for her glass of juice to keep her hands busy. But Michael saw her expression drop and clasped her hand before it reached the glass.

  "That doesn't mean it's the end, you know. This isn't like before, I promise. It's just that I've been away for three days and I have to get back to the office."

  "Yeah, I understand. I have to be to work early tomorrow, too." Dani hesitated, her hand still held tightly in his. She wanted to believe this wasn't going to be the end but she couldn't bring herself to completely believe it. She'd known what she was doing when she started this last night, so she'd better handle it like the adult that she thought she was.

  It was as if Michael could read her thoughts. While still holding her hand, he peeked at her downturned face, making her look up into his eyes.

  "How about next weekend? Maybe you could fly over to Chicago and I could return the hospitality." He smiled at her and it eased the tension of the moment.

  Dani took her hand back and shifted a bit in the bed to get comfortable again, but her hand touched something under the covers and she pulled it out into the open. Recognizing the empty blue packet, she blushed a bit. "Seems we missed the trash can with this one," she said, staring at it a moment.

  Michael only chuckled, but Dani continued studying the crumpled packet seriously. Finally, she looked from it to him.

  "Do you worry about that?" she asked. "I mean, well, you know, about AIDS? After all those women you were with years ago. Do you ever think about that?"

  "I did worry about it a few years ago when AIDS came into the open," he said honestly. "That's why I had myself tested. I'm one of the lucky ones, it came back negative." He tried to read her face but couldn't. "What about you?"

  "I was worried, too, after knowing you'd been with so many others and also after that botched abortion. I was tested. Negative."

  "Well," Michael brightened a bit. "Now we know we don't have to worry about these, right?" He took the packet from her and tossed it into the trash can beside the bed.

  "Why did you, last night, if you knew you were HIV negative?" Dani looked puzzled.

  "Because I didn't want you to think I was taking anything for granted. I'm not, not one minute of the time we spend together. You know that, don't you?" He leaned over the tray of dirty dishes and bread crumbs and lightly kissed her lips.

  When the kiss ended Dani only studied his face a moment, leaving the question unanswered. Michael took that for a yes.

  "Well, why don't you go shower and I'll do these dishes quick. Maybe we could go down to that lake I saw near here yesterday and feed the ducks or something."

  "Sounds good to me."

  But the dishes never did get washed because no sooner had the water begun to run over Dani's body then Miguel joined her. Not that she minded, because she didn't at all.

  They spent a lazy afternoon sitting on the shore of Lake Harriet throwing bread crumbs to the ducks and Canadian Geese that still littered the waters, fattening up for their upcoming trip south. The sun shone brightly across the water and on the sand, but the air held the crisp beginnings of fall in its breeze which made little difference to the couple as they walked the shore hand in hand.

  Michael bought ice-cream cones from a bicycle vender and they enjoyed their treat while giving each other sideways glances and smiles. They felt young and carefree and happy without a problem in the world between them and neither wanted the afternoon to end.

  But the day did end as they entered through Dani's apartment door once more. Michael silently put his few belongings into his small suitcase while Dani busied herself with the few dishes left over from breakfast. The clock ticked away their time together until they could no longer put off the goodbyes that had to be said.

  Dani placed the dish towel on the counter and walked up to where Michael stood over his suitcase, not knowing what to do next.

  "Do you want me to drive you to the airport?" she asked hopefully. It would give them a little more time together.

  "No, I have the rented car, remember?"

  "Oh, that's right." Together they stood, only inches from each other, neither touching nor speaking. Finally, Michael reached both hands up and cupped her face in them. His eyes reached out to hers, wanting to tell her all the feelings inside him as words could not. Dani could feel the intensity of his stare, returning it, cupping her own hand over his and caressing it lightly. She wanted to believe he was feeling everything she felt. She truly wanted to. Yet, a small shadow of doubt crept up on her that this could be the last goodbye.

  "I'll see you soon, Dani-girl," he said quietly, using the endearment of long ago that nearly melted her heart. "I'll call you as soon as I get to my place, okay?"

  Dani could only nod in reply, and ever so slowly, Michael drew her to him and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

  "I'll call," he whispered, lips still touching. "I promise." Then, pulling away, he picked up his bag, slung his coat over his arm and headed to the door.

  Dani watched him open the door from where he had left her and turn once more in the door frame flashing her one of those boyish smiles.

  "Goodbye."

  "Goodbye."

  The door closed and he was gone.

  Still standing in the spot where he had kissed her, Dani stared at the door for a full minute before turning slowly and aimlessly walking toward her bedroom. She didn't try looking out the window to catch a glimpse of him driving away. She no longer felt happy and carefree as she had just an hour ago. She only felt empty, and alone.

  But when she entered the bedroom she was surprised to see a small, wrapped box lying on the nightstand. She approached it gingerly, then lifted it and turned it over in her hands. Finally, she unwrapped the paper and opened the lid and there, staring back at her, was the enamel art deco pin of the blond lady in the red coat. Dani let out a small laugh that eased the tension within her as feelings of elation bega
n to take over the ones of emptiness only moments before.

  Inside the box was also a note, which she opened and read.

  I still think the red coat would look great on you. Love, Miguel.

  Nothing else could have brought such sheer joy to her as this small gift and note. Dani hugged the pin to her heart and twirled three times, laughing and smiling to herself before falling back onto her bed. All her doubts were cast aside and she knew right then and there the first thing she was going to do the minute she got to work tomorrow.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Michael reached Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport without a hitch and deposited his rental car before going through the usual procedures to board his flight. Once on the commuter plane to Chicago, he settled in for the one-hour flight.

  The plane was mostly filled with business men and women dressed in black, gray or navy suits and Michael looked out of place in his jeans and sweater. When a man in a navy suit sat beside him and looked him over once then turned his attention to his laptop computer, Michael smiled. At least he didn't have to worry about having a talker beside him, and he watched out the window as the plane took flight.

  He wondered if Dani had found the surprise he'd left for her and what her reaction had been. He would have loved to see her face when she opened it, but he had to be satisfied with hearing about it on the phone when he got home to his apartment.

  He still couldn't believe how the weekend had turned around for them. Never in his wildest dreams would he have thought they'd have come this far, this fast, but he was so happy they did. Already he was making mental notes about what they would do when she visited him next weekend, the places he would take her and the time they'd spend alone. For the first time in years he felt excited about this new relationship, everything felt so right this time. No one had ever made him feel this good before. At least not for nineteen years.