Wild Poppy

by Victoria Johns

  ‘Shadow Calling.’

  It continued to ring and taunt me. Everything about it—the display, the ring tone, the vibration sending it across the wooden surface in short bursts—I took like a physical blow.

  This had to be a coincidence, and just to confirm it, I looked at the cell again, trying to see if I’d misread it, and blinked like my eyes were devoid of water until they focused. My heart fell when I realized I hadn’t misread anything.

  The last time I’d heard that word, that name, it was related to a man who should have killed me. Instead, he gave me life, a second chance. For all the inner chanting my brain was doing, I couldn’t write this off as a coincidence, if only for the fact that I was standing in a house he’d given me the address to.

  No.

  I wouldn’t believe it.

  I couldn’t believe it until I knew for sure.

  The phone rang and rang, and I let it, knowing he had to give up some time, but praying that would be before Fraser came home with Bullet. Six missed calls later and the lodge finally fell silent, apart from the sound of my breathing caused by the crashing and impending doom of my own thoughts. My hands shook and I knew they were clammy. I reached for the phone and pressed a button only to be presented with a request for a PIN. “Godammit!”

  As if the mystery Shadow knew my plan was failing, it began to buzz and ring again, this time I answered it. Holding my breath, I waited and listened, a tactic I’d been taught, knowing eventually the person on the other end would reveal themselves.

  The other end of the call did the same, and it became this intense game of chicken. Who would reveal themselves first?

  Suddenly, a baby’s squeal broke the tension and nearly made me drop the cell. “Babe!” the gruff voice shouted to someone in the background. I stayed stock still. “One-minute, Mac, Kid’s gonna pull the fuckin’ drapes down.”

  As long as I lived, I’d never forget the voice of the man who’d rescued me from hell. My knees buckled as I figured out that my old life had caught up with me and I struggled to keep the cell at my ear. Shuffling backwards became instinctual, looking for cover and safety at my six was the first rule of situational assessment, but unlike Agent Poppy of old, when I felt the wall against my back, I crumpled against it. As tears threatened to fall, my savior came back to the call. “Why the fuck are you still there? You should have sorted her by now.”

  There was a very real chance I might puke.

  My chance relationship with Fraser had been no chance at all.

  “Mac? Mac?” I finally slid down the wall, struggling for breath as the man from my past figured out who was on the other end of the call. “Fuck!” Shadow shouted and with a wobbly finger, I pressed a button to end the call.

  Of everything I’d suffered, this was it, the one thing that would break me.

  Everything I’d been taught centered around one thing: don’t let your emotions get in the way, don’t let them make your decisions and always stay smart.

  It would seem that I’d fucked that up well and truly.

  All that time in Afghanistan I’d thought my heart hadn’t worked right to put up with so much and still be beating, but judging by how it was feeling now, how broken it felt, I was wrong. Now, it felt broken because this was something worth breaking over.

  I clenched the little plastic cell phone in my hand so hard it was a wonder it hadn’t fused into me and become part of my DNA.

  My brain focused on the heartache I felt for a few brief seconds until the picture became so much clearer.

  Did Fraser have a job to do, like Shadow, that he’d also fucked up?

  “Oh fuck.” I lurched forward, the cell falling from my hand as my palm hit the floor and my stomach rolled.

  It all became crystal clear in my mind; Shadow had sent him to kill me. To do what he should have done the first time he was ordered to. It all clicked into place, why he’d been so distant at random times during the ride. His references to death and loss. The vagueness of just about everything. After all, I operated the same and displayed exactly the same characteristics because it was how we were trained to survive.

  All three of us, me, Shadow and Fraser.

  And that was what I would do this time.

  I would survive.

  I would send them all to hell.

  I’d trusted Shadow’s honor to see his promise through and let me disappear. I wouldn’t be so trusting again. Knowing what I was going to have to do to Fraser made my heart ache for a different reason. He’d given me hope, fake hope as it turned out, but still it burned all the same and he was going to pay for that.

  Pulling myself together, I grabbed the cell and stood up, renewed with purpose and vigor, motivation and a mission. I threw it at the table as I walked past it, before heading upstairs to get my gun.

  Fraser was going to pay for his betrayal, and he was going to pay with his life.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Mac

  “Come on, boy!” Bullet looked at me, his head tilted to the side in a total question pose. “Don’t look at me like that.” I bent down to scratch behind his ears.

  Vinnie appeared at the sound of my voice. “Don’t take it personally. You’re not the one he’s been missing.” I could understand that. I’d only gone a couple of miles down the lane and it felt like I’d lost my left arm. “I’d say it’s like pining,” he continued.

  Okay.

  So, I was pining for her, too.

  “Penny’s gone to get you treats, boy.” Mentioning her name and treats in the same sentence sent him nuts. He barked, shook his tail and jumped around like he was trying to levitate. “Thanks again, Vinnie.”

  “He’s no bother, are you, boy?” Vinnie patted Bullet on the head, but the dog just looked at me. He didn’t have time for this, and it wasn’t the old man’s affection he wanted.

  I opened the door for Bullet, and he bombed off. There was no chance I’d catch him or keep up with him if I even tried. He knew what was waiting back at my place, and waiting for me wasn’t part of his game plan.

  “You have a nice trip?” Vinnie’s voice halted my already too slow progress before I’d got both my feet through the doorway. I turned to look at him and waited. He clearly had something he wanted to get off his chest. “When Penny first got here, she was just about hanging on. Almost empty. Bullet used to give me an excuse to check up on her, but you know what?”

  I waited.

  “Haven’t felt the need to since she decided to let you in.”

  “Spit it out, Vin.”

  “Also haven’t felt the need to check on you either.”

  My gut told me to move, get away from someone who was trying to connect with me, get me to open up by telling me that they’d seen who I really was deep down, but my heart and my head told me to stick it out. If I was going to open up to her then I needed to get used to this feeling and not fucking run at the first words of conversations like this. I couldn’t be awkward or avoid them; I had to be open and accepting to the truth of who and what I was. “And I appreciate it, and I don’t just mean you looking after Bullet when I cut and run.”

  He nodded. “Been good to have you around.”

  “Been good to be home.”

  “Be good if you stayed,” he suggested.

  “Working on it.” I nodded back and finally walked off, leaving him to it, and facing the notion that I needed to do this if we were to have any real chance.

  The lodge was deathly silent when I finally got there. It was only my breathing from the light jog I’d made for the last mile that that could be heard. I expected to find both my woman and dog in some kind of cute reunion wrestle over treats, and was a little worried when I didn’t. I felt certain she’d be speed feeding him goodies until he exploded, and felt uneasy when I couldn’t hear the dog either.

  “Penny?”

  Nothing.

  “Pen?” I shouted louder. “Where are you?”

  I listened, spinning my head past the open window, p
ast the door I’d just come through in case I’d missed them, and then past the stairs, hearing not a sound in reply.

  “Bullet!” I bellowed, and the dog responded, barking from the bedroom above me. I took the stairs two at a time, panicking that Penny wasn’t here. Worse than that, I thought she was having some kind of PTSD episode again, but was relieved to see my dog sat beside her as she stood by the open window, facing it and not me, not even turning to acknowledge that I’d come into the room.

  Something was wrong and I naturally felt inclined to give her space. Lots of it. But I knew I couldn’t. “Penny?”

  “You left your cell.” Her voice was different. Measured, monotone and devoid of real emotion.

  “Okay,” I replied warily, as she still hadn’t turned to face me.

  “You missed a call.”

  “Turn around. What’s wrong?” I finally took a step towards her and she pivoted on a heel so I could see her face.

  “You missed a call from Shadow.”

  The progress I’d made towards her was only two paces, but it suddenly felt like miles apart and I immediately halted. It was then that I noticed she was cradling a gun in the hand resting against her chest. Everything about her was off, wrong. Her eyes were cold, her body taut and braced for action. Then I processed what she’d told me. “Fuck.”

  “Is that it?” Her finger flexed close to the trigger and I wanted to dive at her, stop her from harming herself.

  “Put the gun down, babe.” Penny’s eyes flashed. Finally she gave me something, some form of emotion. “I can explain. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

  Slowly a smile spread across her face before she let her head fall back as she barked with laughter. I stepped towards her and she stopped laughing instantly. The callous look returned to her face as she pointed the gun at me. “I wasn’t planning on hurting me. I was going to end this nightmare once and for all. “

  Ouch. That burned. “We’re a nightmare?”

  “No. You’re the nightmare. You’ve turned my life into a nightmare. I was living, finally breathing and enjoying my life for the first time in a long time.” She swallowed. “And now I know you were living a lie.”

  “I was never living a lie,” I spat back. I wanted to be clear on that. “Not with you. Everything about us was the fucking purest truth I’ve lived in years.”

  “Don’t lie!” she screamed, and moved the gun more directly in line with my head. There was no fear in her eyes. She was as calm as I’d ever seen her. This was a course of action she was comfortable with and it was that that finally scared me. “He sent you to kill me.”

  I finally put my hands up in surrender to her and took a step, every part of me knowing that if I could just get my hands on her, I could talk her around and win her over. I saw the muzzle flash a split second before I felt a stinging in my shoulder. The shock that she’d actually pulled the trigger and shot me only momentarily dulled the pain.

  Staggering back, I grabbed my shoulder. “Fuck!” Realization of it all kicked in when I felt the warmth of my blood coat my own fucking hand causing me to stagger back a step. “You fucking shot me!” Bullet growled and snarled at her, and I knew he was going to attack. “Bullet! No! Here, boy. Now!” My loyal friend pondered whether I was insane for a second and considered ignoring my command before he raced to me, leaving her side for the first time since he’d come home. He didn’t sit down, though. He stayed alert, ready to dive at her if things got crazy again.

  “I nicked you. Just to remind you what’s at stake here. Your life not mine.”

  Bravely, I glanced down and saw that the blood flowed relentlessly but she was right. She’d expertly scored the bullet across the top of my shoulder, removing a decent chunk of skin rather than sinking it in deeper and lower where lasting damage could be done. A bath towel that had been draped over the radiator beside her hit me as I was inspecting my wound.

  “You only get one chance at this, Fraser. Talk.” I looked back at her and she was like a different person, a stranger. No less attractive or formidable, but it was like a switch had been flicked. Some of the traits this person displayed I recognized instantly, though; she was the female version of my brother Shadow. “Are you here to kill me?” she asked, clearly bored of waiting for me to begin.

  “Fuck, no!”

  Penny raised the gun again. “I said don’t lie to me!”

  “You shoot me again, you’d best make it a good shot ‘cus you won’t get another chance.” My anger kicked and rumbled under the surface and I was struggling to hold it back. This wouldn’t end well if we were both fighting off a rageful response.

  “You aren’t in a position to make threats.”

  Bullet barked at me, sensing the tension. “Get my phone. We’ll call the asshole and he can tell you himself.” I pressed the towel against my shoulder, not liking the smell of my own blood, the wound starting to sting.

  “Downstairs. Go.” She waved the gun at me like we were in a Hollywood blockbuster. I turned and she followed, with Bullet nearly tripping us both up on the way down. At the table, I sat down, not wanting to admit I was feeling a little woozy. The pain I could handle; it was the situation spiraling out of control that was affecting me. Her anger was escalating as I prayed she’d take a seat, too, and pull some control back herself. If we were face to face, we wouldn’t be in such a threatening position and hopefully she’d stop waving that fucking gun around.

  “Speaker,” she barked, and with blood stained fingers I pressed the pin number on the screen and dialed his number.

  “Brother,” he answered immediately. “I think she knows.”

  Her face registered mild confusion when she heard him call me brother. “Looking at the gunshot wound I’m sporting I’m inclined to agree.”

  Shadow went quiet. “Did you just say—”

  I looked her straight in the eye. “I did. Crazy bitch just drove a channel through the top of my shoulder.”

  Shadow started to mumble and curse. It was obvious he was walking around his house. Doors were opening and closing, and then he was surrounded by wind. “You good? Need help?”

  “What I need is for you to tell Penny that I’m not here to kill her.”

  Silence greeted me before his steely voice came back to us. “Not a good idea to be talking about this on an open line.”

  Penny had heard enough, but none of it was what she wanted to hear. “Your brother won’t be talking again unless you start,” she called out to him.

  “Calm the fuck down.”

  Penny raised the gun again.

  “Fucking talk, brother. Her piece is about a foot from my head.”

  “Alright! Alright! He’s not there for anything like that.”

  I don’t think she intended to release a lungful of pent up air, but she did and I heard it. “How do I know that?”

  “You’d be dead already,” I answered for the both of them, and Penny looked at me.

  “So, you are part of the agen—” she began.

  “Do not fucking finish that sentence. This line is not secure. He is not part of anything. I sent him to make sure you were okay.” Another bunch of words that took a little bit more wind out of her sails. “I’m really hoping you can read between the lines here, because we are here by the grace of God, Penny. I was worried when the…,” he paused, seemingly searching for words, “sad news about a colleague passing made the headlines and I wanted to make sure you weren’t unsettled.”

  She said nothing.

  “Did you fucking hear me?”

  “How do I trust you? Him?”

  My brother breathed in, and I knew he was reining in his temper.

  “If you need to ask that shit then I misjudged the action I took a while ago.” Penny flinched at his words. “Mac is a man I trust my life with, my family’s life with, and if you put another hole in him, you’ll wish things ended how they were intended last time we met, you get me?”

  Finally, she spoke. “This conversation isn’t
over between us.” At the same speed with which she’d decided to shoot me, she leaned forward, pressed the end button on the phone and held it until it powered down. The silence stretched between us for a little while before she filled it. “Just in case you were wondering, I’m okay with ending you if it means I get to live. So, bear that in mind when you’re considering lying to me.”

  “Can I have a fresh towel?”

  Penny hesitated, went to the kitchen and came back with a tea towel that she expertly tied under my arm pit and across the top. When her fingers touched me, I wanted more. The longer she was this stranger, this hostile person that I didn’t know, the harder it would be for me to get her back. “Time to start talking, Fraser…”

  “What do you want to know?”

  “Who you are? How do you know Shadow? And why did you lie to me?”

  I looked down at my dog. He’d been by my side since she’d shot me and if I could speak dog or hear his thoughts, I’d swear he was disappointed in her and it would take an extraordinary amount of treats to get him back on side.

  “I met Shadow when I was riding around California. It was the first place that felt like home after I left Scotland, and trust me, I was fucking lost and needed him and the rest of my brothers. I became a nomad in the Black Sentinels MC. So, he’s not my blood, but he’s so much more.”

  “Okay, so you know him. What did he tell you about me?”

  “A little. I know he helped you get out of a tough situation.” It was beyond risky to lie to her, but telling her that I knew a lot of how he’d found her, what she’d been through, felt like the wrong move. Taunting someone wielding a gun with something so deep and dark about their past was never a smart move. My time as a priest had taught me that sometimes lies of omission were necessary to keep the balance of a conversation healthy. “But when we talked, you never went into detail, so I was happy if you were happy.”