Wild Poppy

by Victoria Johns

  He was my home.

  I’d got lost in my thoughts again, only this time they were good thoughts, great thoughts and then I heard him hum. “That’s it, ride me, baby.” I felt that burn he’d seen in my eyes catch fire somewhere deep in the pit of my stomach, and as it rolled up and through me, I found I couldn’t get close enough to him. Fraser’s teeth were clenched and his jaw was tight. For a brief second I was worried his shoulder was hurting but then I realized it wasn’t pain he was feeling. He was searching for restraint.

  My body told me to show him just what he did to me, and my mind let that happen. It shut down, and I rode him until the friction hit me everywhere. I felt a thumb touch where we joined, and it nearly happened. My eyes nearly rolled back into my skull and I very nearly came, but I wanted it.

  I wanted more.

  “Like that?”

  “Yes!”

  His thumb moved faster as I reached up and palmed my breasts, seeing the spark in his eyes ignite as he all but roared.

  I loved that. I did that to him.

  “That’s it, fuck me.” His voice was hoarse, that restraint nearing the point of no return. “Knew you’d got some wild buried deep inside you.”

  I had, but I didn’t know it until he helped me find it.

  I rolled my nipples between my thumb and finger, a direct hit sending a message to the sensitive part he was already teasing. As he began to breathe deeper every time I landed on his lap, I knew he was close; we both were. It was a test of wills and as my body caved first, I slowed the roll of my hips down only for his hands to clamp down on them and hold me there, encouraging me to continue until he’d found his blissful end, too. Fraser put his forehead to mine and grunted, his eyes wide open, showing me what I did to him, our breath mingling and lips touching as he guided us both down from the high. “Fuck. That was something else.”

  “Yeah,” I whispered.

  With his fingers still gripped tightly around my waist, his dick twitching inside me, he kept us locked there, demanding my full attention. “This here is our slice of heaven. We’ve earned this, Penny, and nothing is going to take it away from us. You and me, we face it all together. I can’t promise roses and sunshine every day, but I can promise I’ll help you hunt your happy down whenever you feel like it’s lost.”

  “Right now, I’m pretty darn close,” I whispered again, and I saw what that did to him. He didn’t have to get me fancy cars and diamonds; he hung the moon for me just by giving me this. Him. Us.

  The next day Bullet was roaming the house searching for something, desperate for freedom and definitely missing his big, adventurous hikes. It didn’t matter that he’d had the run of the land and was able to roam free whenever he chose; the crazy, four-legged protector wanted to do it with company.

  “I need to take him for a walk.” My hands were wrist deep in suds and dirty crockery. It had all built up while I was caring for my man.

  My man.

  It wasn’t that Fraser was too injured to look after himself; it was me trying to make amends but I could already tell he was starting to feel smothered.

  “Going to take the boy for a walk down to Vinnie’s.” The latch on the old barn bathroom door clunked and when I heard the running water, I knew he was in the shower. “Don’t get that dressing wet!”

  “Give me five. I’ll come with you.”

  “Are you—”

  “Yes, I’m up to it. I need some fresh air before I lose my fucking mind.” Maybe I was backing up on the nursemaid act just in time.

  Ten minutes later we were walking across the fields, my hand in his. “This feels nice.”

  “The cold, fresh air. Yes, it does.”

  I squeezed our joined hands. “No. This.”

  “Simple things, that all it takes? I should count my blessings.” He chuckled as Bullet raced back to us, ears flapping like he was trying to take off. The dog had sprinted off countless times, and then came racing back to us like he wasn’t sure we were going to Vinnie’s farm and just wanted to check.

  “The simple things are underrated, in my opinion.”

  “Tell me,” he began. “If you could go back and tell yourself one thing, what would it be?”

  That question buzzed around in my head, all but short-circuiting my brain “Too many to choose from.”

  “Try.”

  I thought for a bit, listening to the wind in the trees, watching the grass sway back and to as Bullet bolted everywhere picking up scents. “Don’t let people who mean nothing to you take everything from you.”

  “That’s some good, deep philosophy shit.”

  “My turn. What did you want to be when you grew up?” I was keen to learn everything about him.

  “A racing car driver, which meant a getaway driver was probably closer to where I’d end up. I considered going into the Army, but I didn’t need to leave home to shoot guns. Never really suspected I’d choose the church, though. Funny thing, for a long time I beat myself up over not sticking it out. Now, I look back and think it wasn’t the path I was meant to take. You?”

  “I just wanted out of home really. My dad worked and my mom kept the house. There was a meal on the table at the expected time, the laundry was done on set days and we vacationed at the same place during the same two weeks of the year. I remember looking at my mom when I was about fifteen and realizing how miserable she was. She’d gone to college, got a degree and did zero with it. I was just certain I wasn’t going to end up like that. Now, though, a version of that is total goals for the rest of my days.”

  “Not sure I can subscribe to that level of mundanity. Wandering flows through my veins.”

  “After our last trip, I think I could catch the bug.” I leaned against his arm and attempted a shoulder barge, only for him to wince. “Sorry.”

  “Need to start moving it more, otherwise it will seize and then riding will be hell, rather than heaven.”

  I heard Bullet’s body whipping the long grass to one side as he came closer on his lap around us. “Can we get more dogs?”

  “Sure. We’ve got the room and it’s one helluva backyard we have here. But…” He hesitated, and I waited for him to finish. “Do you see yourself with kids?”

  This was another one of those opportunities to spill the beans and I took it. “Not sure I can have them. The contraception they gave me when I went out there was experimental. The agency did not want second-generation insurgents coming home to roost with their operative mommas. There’s also...”

  Fraser stopped for a second. He looked out over the great expanse before reaching down and grabbing a stick and then hurling it in the general direction of Bullet.

  “My body suffered a lot of trauma out there. I’m not sure about the damage done.”

  “Rough.” Fraser didn’t look at me; he just grumbled the word and I knew he was trying to keep on lid on his rage.

  “Is it a deal breaker for you?”

  “Babe…” He smiled. “I was gonna be a priest. So, no. I suppose everyone has this ingrained view of what the end picture should look like. Job, wife, kids, mortgage. I’d already opted out of the kids thing when I signed up with the church. Being back in the land of the living didn’t really change that. I never saw myself in a place where it’d be on the table. Guess I’m saying I’m okay with seeing how things go. If they happen, I’d move heaven and earth to keep them safe and make a good life for them. If they don’t... they don’t.”

  Fate.

  That’s exactly what this man was to me. He was my fated ending. He wasn’t badgering me to reconsider or have tests and try. He was just going with the flow and letting life decide what would come our way.

  “So, you’d be happy with this existence?” I tipped my head at the vast landscape of nothingness in front of us.

  “I saw myself retiring here someday, although I’m probably not ready to sit in a chair on the porch permanently.” That scared me. What he if he got bored and regretted choosing the sedate life with me. I’d
had enough excitement and drama to last me a lifetime. “I see that worries you. Don’t let it. Just saying I’ve been restless for years, so I need to figure out how not to be. I have a bike and if I need space, I’ll just get on it and ride.”

  “Away from me?” My voice was small.

  “Yeah, but only to remind me what I’ve got.” Fraser stopped again and bent down to pick up the stick that Bullet had decided belonged to him now. “I need to learn to stop searching.”

  “Like I need to trust others.”

  My hair blew around in the wind, but I hadn’t noticed. It was as if the wind was constantly pounding the atmosphere around us, but all I could focus on was him. He reached up and pointlessly attempted to tuck the hair behind my ear. The minute his fingers released it, it snapped across my cheek again. “Nine times out of ten, you’ll be on that bike with me. I’m just asking for some understanding for that one time I need space. My past may not have been as ugly as yours, but it was mine and I lived it. If I can’t talk about it, riding it out of me is the only other way I know how to deal with it.”

  “Maybe that will get easier if I work on that trust thing and you feel like you can trust me.”

  Fraser bent down and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. “Baby, I do. It’s just you’ve got enough of your own shit to deal with. If I can ride mine out of me then I’ve got room to help carry a bit more of yours.”

  I understood completely. I had to. Everyone had their own ways of dealing with shit in this world and I couldn’t expect him to get how I did it if I wasn’t prepared to accept how he did. I fell in love with the man I met and changing him wouldn’t work. I wanted him as he came. I wrapped my arms around his middle, the two of us taking in the silence that spoke more than words ever could as the wind rose again. “Thank you for coming into my life, Fraser McPhee.”

  “I think it’s the other way around,” he smiled and bent down, touching his lips to mine.

  “Then we’ll agree to disagree.” “I want to travel with you on the bike. I want to see more of Europe.”

  “We can do that. First we’ll start across there.” Fraser pointed in the distance, north east of us. “We’ll take the bike on the boat across to Norway, head down into Sweden, Denmark, then into Germany and head back to England that way, and up towards home.”

  Home.

  This place felt like my home, too.

  My excitement fizzed at the thought. “Would it be another history lesson?” I giggled, trying to joke.

  He fake huffed. “I’ll get right on with my studies. I’d hate to disappoint.”

  “Seriously, it sounds amazing, but won’t that take a while?”

  “We in a rush to be somewhere?” Vinnie’s farm came into view, and now Bullet knew for sure that’s where we were heading, he raced off to greet his foster dad. Maybe as the dog was used to his owner disappearing and taking off on the bike then there was hope for me, too.

  “I don’t suppose we are.”

  Fraser reached for my hand and pulled me to follow Bullet. “Welcome to the life of a nomad, baby.”

  We stayed at Vinnie’s for an hour, and after two cups of coffee that could probably have been classed as a suitable substitute for tractor oil, we made our goodbyes and left. All the way back across the fields and tracks, Fraser talked about the things that he wanted to do to the houses, and I couldn’t wait to help him. There were so many plans I figured we’d be busy for the next ten years, but it was exciting to be making plans for the future. By the time he’d mentioned a full wrap around deck on the ground floor, with room for our hot tub, a balcony off the bedroom, an extension to the kitchen area and building a stables, I felt like I was floating on cloud nine. All of that sounded permanent and in order to do it, it he’d need to stay here with me, not go off traveling alone.

  “We should just knock the two houses down and build a ranch,” I joked.

  Fraser stilled. “You really wanna do that?”

  “I was joking!”

  “Hey, hang on.” He’d stopped again. Although I loved all the stop starting, if we did this every time we went for a walk, it would take us an age to get anywhere. “I own acres and acres of this land, just bought some more. We could actually build us a home, a new home. Do up the cottages or knock them down, whichever, and have us a fresh start.”

  He’d bought more? Much more than he had now and he’d have his own private wilderness, although, if that’s what he was going for, I was totally up for it.

  “You’re not serious!”

  “Totally.”

  “Who’d do the work?”

  The more he answered the more I could see the idea taking root and forming into something real. “We would.”

  “We can’t knock the houses down. It’s...”

  “It’s what?” he urged.

  “Well, for starters, I own one of them.”

  “Only because I sold it to a friend who gave it to you.”

  “Doesn’t change the fact,” I shouted back.

  We were on the dirt track now, not far from the houses he was suggesting we demolish. “But it’s where we began. Do we really need anything bigger?” I didn’t want to say it, but I had a feeling he was going to force me to. I didn’t want to remind him that it could just end up being the two of us out here. What we had now was plenty big enough.

  “A home isn’t the wood it’s built with. It’s the people in it.”

  “Exactly! So why do we need something huge?” I could see the tops of the trees that surrounded our little slice of heaven and the closer we got, the more I panicked that he wanted to knock them down. This had been my fresh start, our beginning. It may have happened really quickly, but if I let him do this did it mean that he felt the same about us? That he could overwrite us and forget about me so quickly. “Can we talk about this?”

  “Compromise. We knock down the one we don’t currently live in and extend.”

  That didn’t sound too tragic. “Deal.”

  As we pushed through the tree line, we approached the property from a different direction and came from the back of the shed where the little car and his motorcycle were stored. “Who’s fucking car is that?”

  My training kicked in and I immediately pulled him back behind me, dragging us until we were both behind the wooden building. The fear coursing through me was real.

  Someone had found me. My body wanted to shake, but my brain told me to suit up and get ready for a fight, and Fraser sensed it. “Calm down,” he urged.

  “No. No one visits here. No one has ever visited here. I need my gun. Dammit!”

  “You don’t need your gun.” He went to step around me and I climbed on his back and put my arm around his neck. I couldn’t let him walk into my danger. “What the fuck? Get off me!” He tried to pull my arms from tightening, and I knew the minute it was working. His movements became more uncoordinated and less assured as the oxygen slowed down on route to his brain. The sleeper was a very dangerous move, unless you’d been trained properly. It was all about defense and giving you some time to get away or hog tie them so you could interrogate them. Fraser’s knees buckled, but he fought like mad to hold onto his conscious state.

  “Stop... for fu—”

  He didn’t finish that sentence before I climbed off his back, took his weight momentarily and laid him gently on the floor, his back up against the shed. “Sorry, baby, but I need to see what we’re dealing with here.”

  I looked back around the shed and saw the gleaming estate car parked up. I glanced at all the windows of the house and saw no movement. With feet so light I could have been walking on air, I headed into the car shed and looked for a weapon, cursing myself for leaving my gun under the sink in that damn tin box. Grabbing the small axe—the only thing that I could see that would give me a bit of time to avoid a hand to hand combat situation—I edged around the property until I came to a window. Peering up, there was no sign of anyone straight away. My best hope right now was that I could give myself enough time t
o throw the axe at the intruder and split his skull before he got to me.

  I made my first rookie mistake when I forgot about the creaky wood on the stoop outside the front door, which meant there was nothing left for it. I burst through the door, saw the outline of a man move in my direction and without thinking, I lifted my arm and hurled the axe at the shape as he stepped around the dividing wall.

  What I wasn’t expecting was the man to sidestep the axe and it embed itself in the wall behind him.

  “Are you fucking crazy?” roared the voice—a voice that belonged to Shadow.

  My savior, who was clearly here to finish the job.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Mac

  I shivered.

  And I didn’t understand why.

  When I blinked it felt like hard work just to open my eyes and then a real struggle to keep them open.

  Hang the fuck on... Why was I sat on the floor and where the hell was Penny? I stumbled up off the ground, my back freezing from being slumped against the cold wood of the car garage.

  It all came back to me and there was a distinct possibility that I might actually kill her when I caught up with her. The last thing I remembered was her arm around my fucking neck, choking me. Then I remembered the car, and her panic about needing her gun. Part of me hoped it was a stranger and that she’d already taken them out. If it was someone who had come looking for her, and they’d harmed her, I was going to need to dig a deep fucking hole to bury their body in.

  I walked calmly—even though I felt anything but calm—to the front door and stepped up both steps without touching the creaky plank that I’d never gotten around to replacing. It was then that I heard voices.

  “You should have put a bullet in me when you had the chance.” Hearing those words come from Penny made me wish I’d gone via the shed and picked up the fucking chainsaw in preparation.