Insatiable

by Daniele Lanzarotta

  “Will the bond be broken if we stay apart?” I asked.

  “Doubtful.”

  I started to worry about what would happen and Owen could see that.

  “Look, worst case scenario, you will probably have a little heartache.”

  Tears sprang to my eyes as I thought about the consequences of us being apart; of him feeling the heartache that I was feeling now.

  “Can you try to break the bond anyway?”

  Owen relaxed and actually laughed.

  “Of course not. I still need you. Besides, bond or no bond, the two of you are already way over your heads in this. Breaking the bond wouldn’t change how he feels. I can see it. He’s never been like this with anyone.”

  Owen started to get his things together.

  “I need to get going. I’ll be back in a few days. I know that my brother gave you a phone. It won’t work at all times, but if you need anything, try it.”

  “I—How do I use it?”

  He rolled his eyes and told me to grab the phone. He sat next to me on the couch and showed me how to use it to reach him. He gave strict orders not to call the number that Blake had programmed as his, and then, he left.

  I was so exhausted. After he left, I went to my room and reached for the zipper to take my dress off. A shiver passed through me as I remembered how it felt having his fingers toying with the zipper, his hands on my skin. I knew I had to stop doing this to myself, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I took a deep breath and finished taking my dress off. I put the dress in the back of the closet. The last thing I needed was a reminder of the night before. I took a shower, put on a tank top and shorts, and went to bed.

  I slept most of the day. When I woke up at night, I spent a few hours doing practically nothing. I tried to read but couldn’t focus. Eventually, I started to feel suffocated in the house and decided to step outside.

  It was warm outside and the warm sand felt good against my skin. I stood there, watching the sea, and suddenly, I felt drawn to it. I looked around for any signs of anyone I might have known. I figured by now, most were probably sleeping.

  I kept thinking about Blake, thinking about how he was with Brooke, even if their business deal was already done. A part of me hoped that he would have signed those papers, dropped everything, and rushed to see me.

  I was so distracted by those thoughts that I didn’t realize how close I got to the water. A wave came crashing; the cold water embraced me and made me want to jump in. During that moment, I missed who I used to be. I missed my tail and how fast it allowed me to swim.

  “Arianna!” I heard Lyra’s familiar voice.

  She was a couple of feet away from me. I knew that she couldn’t come any closer without getting stuck in the sand and I wouldn’t go any further.

  I started to turn around to rush back into the house.

  “Please, don’t” she said. “I just want to talk. I want to understand what happened to you. How did this happen to you anyway?” she asked.

  I shrugged. “I don’t know how to explain.” I paused. “How is my father?”

  “How do you think he is? He’s devastated and angry, obviously. Others are doubting his ability to lead, but he won’t give up his right.”

  “Bram saw me,” I said.

  “Oh, I know—we all know. Bram has changed a lot.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “He’s bitter. He keeps saying that this happened because he was too nice.”

  I shook my head.

  “Does my father know where I am and what’s happened to me?”

  “Of course he does, but everyone has been forbidden to come close to you for as long as you… well, for as long as you have legs. They are afraid it’s a curse and it will pass on to them.”

  “And you are not afraid?”

  She shook her head. “If I’m right, this is a curse alright. But it is your curse to carry. Whatever is happening to you is your fault.”

  “How do you know?”

  “I know because this has black magic written all over it.”

  “Black magic?”

  She nodded. I have to go before I get caught. I may not be afraid of you, but the consequences of my being caught talking to you are not pretty.”

  She started to turn to leave, but turned back around. “And Arianna?” she said. “If I were you, I would stay on that island. Bram has plans to get you back, and I’m afraid of what he will do if you try to get away.”

  I nodded.

  “I have to ask you something,” she said.

  “What is it?” I asked her.

  “The one who Bram saw you with… he’s the one you’ve been watching over those years, isn’t he?”

  I nodded.

  She gave me a weak smile. “Well, I hope he’s worth it.”

  And he was. I just had a feeling that was not how he felt.

  She turned around and dove into the water, her green tail coming up and out of the water in a fast movement, before she disappeared into the sea, which made me miss that feeling even more.

  I sat on the sand, where the water could reach me, and just watched the stars for hours before I went back to the house.

  Once inside, I went to my room but I couldn’t sleep. I walked to the bookshelves and scanned through the books. One in particular got my attention. The book gave the appearance that it had been read several times and I wondered if that was Blake’s favorite. I hugged it to my chest before putting it back and I went to his room. I wish the room didn’t make me think of Brooke, but it did. I went to his closet and grabbed one of his shirts. It was my weird way of feeling closer to him. I went back to my room and fell asleep wishing he was with me.

  I slept… a lot. All I did was sleep over the next two days. I didn’t hear from him, or from Owen, and then when I woke up on the third morning, I couldn’t get out of bed. I felt sick and weak. And I felt hot. I remembered the phone ringing several times, but I couldn’t make myself move. All I could do was lay there and wish I was taken out of my misery, because that was how bad I felt, both physically and emotionally. Eventually, I fell asleep again.

  “Open your eyes, Arianna.”

  The bright light and me being so weak made it practically impossible to do so.

  I opened them enough to see that Owen was in my room, and then I closed them again.

  “Fuck!” I heard him say, then he picked up the phone and said, “I need another favor.”

  I passed out before I could hear anything else.

  When I opened my eyes again, it was because I felt cold. This time I could see stars and Owen was carrying me toward the sea.

  “You can’t take me back,” I managed to say.

  “Don’t worry. I’m not. I just want to try something.”

  I passed out in his arms once again.

  Water… I felt the sea embrace me, inviting me back home, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t face my father after this. I couldn’t face Bram after what I had done and I certainly couldn’t go back to a life with him when all I ever wanted was Blake. I could feel arms around me. I knew that it was Owen and I clenched to his arms so he wouldn’t let me go.

  “I’m not letting you go. I got you,” he kept saying.

  Then I felt my leg being pulled down toward the bottom of the sea. I was still hanging on to Owen, but the one pulling me managed to get me underwater. My eyes flew open and I was face to face with Bram. Owen got closer, wrapping his arm around my waist, and he kicked Bram on the center of his chest. Bram let go of my leg and Owen swam back up, still holding on to me.

  We both lay down on the sand. He gasped for air and I cried.

  “So, that was interesting,” he finally said.

  When I didn’t say anything, he said, “Are you feeling any better?”

  “I miss him,” I said. “I miss him so much it hurts.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Are you feeling physically better?”

  I didn’t even know if I was or not. I coul
d talk and I was awake. That was something.

  He sighed. “I’m going to have to tweak our deal,” he said.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Your ability to have legs is tied to my brother and you being together. Without him here you’ll get worse and worse, unless, I give you the ability to be yourself. If you feel sick, you can recharge yourself that way.”

  I was still feeling weak, but I slowly sat up. “By using black magic?” I said.

  He gave me a shocked look, which told me that Lyra was right.

  “Pretty much,” he said with an evil grin.

  “Will I be able to control when?” I asked.

  He nodded. “I will teach you how. But you can’t go deep in the water, or, well… they are going to try and get you back.”

  I nodded.

  “He’s not coming back anytime soon, is he?” I knew that if Owen had come up with this elaborate plan, the answer was likely no.

  Owen shook his head. Brooke’s dad postponed the merger. He wants to wait until it’s closer to or after the wedding. Let’s just say that he has a hunch there is something going on.

  I nodded.

  “Is this the only way to keep me from getting sick?”

  He nodded.

  “So how do I do this?” I asked

  “Lie back down and close your eyes.”

  I did and as familiar I was with languages, I didn’t understand the words he was saying.

  When he finished, he told me to open my eyes. I didn’t feel any different.

  He said we needed to sit by the water. I tried to get up but felt dizzy so he picked me up and carried me to the water.

  “You cannot wait until you get sick to do this. If I’m not here, you won’t be able to get to the water. Maybe you should just come out here once a day or something until things get better.“

  I nodded.

  I sat in the water, still not feeling any different.

  “You should probably take off whatever is under your skirt.”

  I gave him a look.

  “What?” he said. The skirt will cover your tail, but I don’t think that panties will work out with the schematic of things.”

  “I’m not wearing any,” I said.

  He gave me a crooked smile.

  I rolled my eyes at him. “You didn’t buy me any!” I said

  He smiled and shook his head.

  Then he turned serious again. “Keep in mind that I can take this option away from you at any time. Now say, ‘reserassem animas nostras et revertetur mea ad essentiam eius’ which I knew was Latin for ‘unbind our souls and return mine to its essence’.

  I stared at my legs as I watched them being covered by the blue silky skin of my tail. It felt so natural. My first instinct was to move deeper in the water and swim as fast as I could. Owen put a hand against my shoulder reminding me that I couldn’t do that. I moved around at the low end of the water, lying down so I was completely underwater whenever the waves crashed. It felt invigorating, but there was still one thing that felt better than this and that was being with Blake.

  “Feeling better?” he asked.

  I nodded. “What if they come this close?”

  “You’ll be able to see them and get away.”

  “How do I make it go away?”

  “Are you ready for that?”

  I ran my fingers over my slick skin, closing my eyes and memorizing that feeling.

  “I’m ready,” I said as I opened my eyes.

  Say, ‘quem diligit anima mea ad alligandos’, which means ‘bind my soul to the one I love’.

  I watched as my tail faded away, and my legs were visible as if they had always been a part of me, just hidden behind a mask.

  Owen took a deep breath. “Well, I’m glad that worked, even though it’s going to cost me.”

  I gave him a puzzled look, but he didn’t explain himself.

  I was feeling better but I was now distracted, worried about whether Bram was hurt.

  Owen helped me back to the house.

  Once inside, I got the courage to ask him about Blake.

  “How is he doing?”

  He met my gaze. “Not well, but he’ll get over it.”

  “And your dad?”

  “Well, he’s even more furious than before with the whole business thing.”

  “Why don’t you use black magic to close the deal and take all the credit for it?”

  He gave me a look of amusement. “I wish it was that easy. Certain things have to work in their own way. All of this is a part of a much bigger plan. Not just one business deal.”

  “But you said—”

  “Don’t worry about what I said. It’s my business.”

  Owen walked away and I stayed in the living room, once again trapped in the house with nothing to do.

  Hours later he came back. “God, could you look any more miserable?”

  “If I’m miserable it’s because of you!” I snapped.

  “No, it’s because the two of you got caught before it was time.” His tone was full of anger and I flinched as he said that.

  He took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair.

  “Do you want to talk to him?” he asked.

  I gave him a puzzled look. He grabbed his phone and dialed a number.

  “Hey Blake. Call me back. It’s important.”

  He’ll call back. Just hope we have signal when he does.

  I stayed where I was, closing my eyes and resting. Somehow, I was still exhausted. I don’t know how long it passed, but I heard the phone ring and Owen answered it. I kept my eyes closed.

  “Is Brooke or anyone else around you?... Good. I’m with Arianna now, so I thought I would call from my phone and let you two talk… Man, relax. It’s fine… Oh, now you don’t want her to get hurt? Wouldn’t you say it’s too late for that?”

  I opened my eyes, sat up and gave Owen a look to just drop it, but he didn’t.

  “Just talk to her okay? She’s been sick. I have a feeling that will make her feel better…. Probably something she ate…”

  I got up and walked away, locking myself in my room. If Blake was trying to distance himself from me, let him. We had already done enough damage, and I didn’t blame him. He was just protecting himself.

  Owen knocked on the door.

  “Leave me alone!” I yelled.

  “Blake wants to talk to you,” he said.

  I opened the door, grabbed the phone, and closed the door on his face, locking it.

  “Hello?” I could hear Blake’s voice from the other side and I knew I couldn’t talk to him. I already had this unbearable desire to see him and I was afraid that listening to his voice would make me miss him even more. I turned the phone off and opened the door.

  “Here. You lost signal.” I handed the phone to Owen and closed the door on him again before he could say anything else.

  Chapter Twenty

  BLAKE

  Breakfast with the family is hell. My dad watches my interaction with Brooke, and I try my best to listen to her and be as affectionate as possible, but my mind is elsewhere. All I can think about is how Arianna is doing. Every once in a while I check my phone to see if there is anything from Owen, but there is nothing.

  When my dad excuses himself to take a phone call, I know I have a break from pretending to suck-up to Brooke, so I focus my attention on Molly instead. He doesn’t take long. He comes back, sits down, and tells us that it was Owen and that he’s just going to meet us later.

  I can’t help but to feel that something must be wrong. I wait a few minutes then excuse myself to go to the restroom, where I try to call Owen. He doesn’t answer so I text him. ‘Is everything okay?’

  He replies right away, ‘We’ll talk later.’

  I clench my fists and punch the wall. I think about calling Arianna but decide it’s not fair to her. If I’m going to stop this, I need to cut all contact with her.

  When I get back to the table, my dad is already payin
g the bill. Brooke is in a good mood and trying to get me to go shopping for wedding stuff. That’s the last thing I want to do.

  Luckily, my mom saves the day. “Actually, Brooke, I was thinking we could get some things out of the way without Blake around. The last thing you’d want is for him to see you shopping for the wedding dress. You know, it’s bad luck.”

  I try not to laugh. This wedding is already doomed.

  But I’m thankful for my mom, and Brooke agrees to the idea. They decide to go to a few stores from here. I take that moment as my opportunity to get rid of everyone.

  Before I leave, my dad reminds me that they decided to meet at nine the next morning to sign the merger papers.

  I kiss Brooke goodbye.

  “Are you going to be at your apartment all day?” she asks.

  I nod.

  “Good. I’ll head over there when we’re done. I’m spending the night with you tonight,” she informs me.

  I want to make up an excuse but my dad is watching carefully. I smile and tell her that I’ll see her then.

  As soon as I’m in my car, I call Owen, but he doesn’t answer. I text him asking to meet me at my apartment and he replies saying that he’ll be there soon.

  I rush to my apartment to find Owen already waiting on me. I can’t even read the expression on his face. I open the door and as soon as we step inside I ask him to tell me what happened.

  He sighs. “Well, Dad gave her this big spill about knowing girls like her and how she’s out to get your money, and all that crap. He pretty much accused her of planning to do everything that Molly’s mom did to him.”

  I shake my head.

  “I couldn’t stop him, man. All I could do was make sure she didn’t get kicked out of the house. Even then, he told her she had to stay away until you left the island, so we just stayed at the tree house.”

  I nod. “Thanks for staying with her.” I hate that he was there for her when I wasn’t, but at least she wasn’t alone. “How was she after he left?”

  Owen shakes his head. “She’s a sweet girl, Blake. She cried, A LOT. And she asked some things about our childhood.”

  I give him a puzzled look. “She wants to understand Dad.” He laughs. “She’s smart, too. She doesn’t blame you for a thing.”

  “But she should.”

  He shrugs. “So what are you going to do now?”