Changed Man

by Roy Glenn

  I’m a gambler, a thief and a killer. Oh yeah, and I just recently became a pimp. I laughed to myself.

  Instead, I told her about running an after-hours spot and believe me, since I left out the more colorful details, her stories were much more interesting than mine. I have always been a sucker for a good conversation, but talking to Cortisha was different. She wasn’t like most of the women whose company I enjoyed. They were intelligent and street smart, so they could hold a conversation. Cortisha was smart.

  I liked that.

  I liked talking to her.

  Maybe I should have spent more time talking to her and less time fuckin’, I thought, but no. I think we did the right amount of talking and fucking to get us to this point.

  “Are you hungry?” Cortisha asked.

  “Yeah, I can eat. I haven’t eaten since breakfast,” I said.

  Cortisha stood up. “I’m going to go see what there is for us to eat. I’ll be right back.”

  “I’ll go with you,” I said and stood up quickly.

  And that was the moment I realized that I was fucked up.

  “Whoa,” I said and had to grab Cortisha’s arm to keep myself from falling.

  “Are you all right?”

  “No,” I said and started laughing. “I’m fucked up.”

  She laughed. “I did try to warn you.”

  “That you did.”

  “Can you walk?”

  “I think so.” I laughed. “This is not my first time being fucked up.” I took a step and stopped. “But this is my first time being fucked up on a boat in the middle of the ocean, so don’t get too far ahead of me,” I said and we both laughed. I was able to make it below without any assistance from Cortisha. But I wasn’t in the galley long before I knew that sleep was in my future.

  I slept for over an hour before Cortisha woke me up to eat. The combination of food and sleep made me feel a lot better. After that, we went back up on deck and spent the rest of the evening talking for I couldn’t tell you how long before we retired to our stateroom and fucked each other to sleep.

  As promised, when we woke up, we were docked in Freeport. After we thanked Oscar for his hospitality and for getting us there safely, we got off the boat.

  “Well, here we are,” Cortisha said with her arms opened wide. “Freeport.”

  I stepped into her arms. “So, what do you want to do?”

  “I don’t know. It was the experience of being out on the ocean that I wanted to share with you.” She laughed. “I didn’t have a plan beyond that.”

  “Well, let’s find someplace to stay and something to eat and we’ll take it from there.”

  “Sounds good.”

  We got in the first cab we found, and he took us to the Lucayan Beach Hotel. They didn’t have a room ready for us, so we had brunch in the hotel restaurant and hung out there until our room was ready.

  Now, since neither of us had a reason to be there, other than going to Port Lucaya to see the show and going to the beach every day, we stayed in the room, fucked, slept, ordered room service and talked. Cortisha and I stayed there for two more days before we flew back to Nassau.

  When I got back to the hotel, Felicia was mad that I was gone for three days.

  “It only take a day for me to hear that you sail off to Freeport with Cortisha Walker and this was she big surprise,” she said and here again, Felicia seemed to be cool with it, so I said nothing. She stepped out of her shoes. “You could have, at the very least, let me know that you were gone,” she said and came out of her dress.

  As for Cortisha, she was only there for another couple of days before her vacation was over and she had to fly back to England.

  “I would offer you my number, but I know you won’t call and I noticed that you haven’t offered me yours, so I guess this is goodbye,” Cortisha told me and then she kissed me on the cheek. “It was fun,” she said and shut the door.

  I stayed in Nassau for another week before I left, but I still wasn’t ready to go home. From there I flew to Martinique, St Lucia and then to Grenada. I stayed a few days on each of those islands and from there, I flew to Barbados.

  I really liked Barbados and probably would have stayed longer but on my first night there, I got into what I considered to be a simple misunderstanding over some money and a woman. My desire not to kill anybody, coupled with the fact that I had no gun, caused me to leave there and travel to Trinidad.

  Trini was nice too. I really liked it. The women were hot, and they were very friendly, so I stayed there for two weeks before something occurred to me. I was in the southern Caribbean and had been to just about every island except one. It was like I was avoiding it and I probably was. That next day, I caught a flight to Kingstown, Saint Vincent.

  Once my flight landed at E. T. Joshua Airport, I took a cab to the Grenadine House. Now that I was here, I needed to decide why I was there. Was I there just to visit the place I was born or was I there to look for, as Wanda called him, my long-lost daddy? At this point, I wasn’t sure, so I decided to get a drink and think about it.

  I left my room and went down to The West Indies Bar, and as luck would have it, I arrived in time for happy hour.

  “What can I get for you?” the cutie bartender asked.

  “Remy Martin, neat.”

  Her cutie smile turned to a frown. “I’m sorry sir, but we only have Hennessy.”

  Now it was me frowning. “If that’s all you have.”

  “Would you care for the VS, the VSOP or the XO?”

  “Since its Henny, make it the XO,” I said and was on my fourth round before I made a decision. I was there to meet my father and if that were the case, I needed to get a plan on how I was going to go about finding him. But I figured this would be as good a place as any to start.

  “Do you know a man named Fenton Laurent?”

  “No, sorry, I don’t.”

  And that is how I spent the next two days. I ate and drank and went to the beach and asked that same question; “Do you know a man named Fenton Laurent?”

  And I kept asking until on the second night, I was in a bar drinking when somebody said, “Yes, I know Fenton.”

  Now that I found somebody that knew him, what now?

  “I’d like to meet him.”

  “Why?” the man asked.

  “I was born here, and he is one of the few people that I remember my mother mentioning.”

  He nodded his head. “I understand.”

  “What’s your name, sir?”

  “Bunny Davies.”

  “Mike Black,” I said, and we shook hands. “Pleased to meet you.”

  “Same here. What’s your mother’s name?”

  “Emily Black.”

  “The name is not familiar to me,” Bunny said.

  “Not surprising. We left the island when I was very young. It would mean a lot to me if you could introduce us,” I said while reaching in my pocket to take out money. I counted off some bills and just placed the stack on the table where he could reach for it … if he wanted it.

  “I see.” He paused and sipped his drink. “Well, I can introduce you to Fenton.” He put his hand on the stack and pulled it closer to himself. “Where are you staying?”

  “Grenadine House.”

  Bunny picked up the money, eased it in his pocket and then he drained his glass and then he stood up with his hand out. “I’ll be in touch.”

  I stood up, shaking his hand. “I’ll look forward to hearing from you.”

  Now I had found somebody, and he agreed to introduce us, but I didn’t stop asking questions. I found some people that said that they knew him, but not personally like Bunny said he did. They told me that my father was a cop.

  That one made me laugh.

  My father, a cop.

  His son, a killer.

  One of life’s little ironies, I guess.

  It was two days later when I got a call from Bunny saying that he was having drinks at Vee Jay's Restaurant and Bar with Fenton arou
nd five that afternoon. “It’s on Bay Street. Come ’round and I will introduce you to him.”

  It was five fifteen when I arrived at Vee Jay's Restaurant and Bar and went inside. I didn’t see Bunny anywhere, so I went out on the balcony and there he was.

  My father.

  I stood there for I don’t know how long, just looking at him. There were so many things running through my mind at that moment that it wasn’t even funny. I had wanted this for as long as I could remember and here I was, standing ten feet from him and I am frozen in this spot.

  What do I say to him? Hey, mutha fucka, you’re my father. That wasn’t how I wanted this to go.

  It was then that Bunny saw me and waved me over to the table. I inhaled deeply and went to the table to join them.

  Bunny stood up and shook my hand. “Mike, good to see you again.” He turned to my father. “Fenton, this is Mike Black.”

  My father stood up and we faced each other. No doubt about it, I looked at this man, looked in his eyes and knew that he was my father.

  “Mike, good to meet you,” he said and shook my hand.

  His handshake was firm, and he looked me directly in the eyes. That told me that he was a confident man, and I hoped he was a man that commanded respect. I mean, after all, he is my father.

  “Come,” he said and extended his hand. “Sit and join us for a drink.”

  “Thank you,” I said to my father and sat down at the table across from him. I sat there with them, listening to the tail end of the conversation they were having until the server came to see what I was drinking.

  “Hennessy XO, neat,” I said since I hadn’t found anyplace that carried Remy. But since it was twenty U.S. dollars a glass, it raised an eyebrow on Bunny and my father, but it did get him to talk to me.

  “So, Mike, Bunny tells me that you are visiting from New York, but you were born here.”

  “Yes, sir, I was born here, but my mother moved us to New York when I was very young.”

  “What’s your mother’s name, Mike?” He had asked the question I wanted, and I swallowed hard before answering.

  “Emily Black,” I said, and I looked him directly in his eyes and waited for a response.

  “The name doesn’t sound familiar.” He looked at Bunny. “You know that name?”

  “No. The name was not a familiar one, as I told him when we first met,” Bunny said.

  “What about your father?”

  “I never met him,” I said, but I wanted to scream, you my father, nigga. “And as far as I know, I don’t have any other family here.”

  “I can’t say that I know of any Black’s on the island now,” Fenton said.

  “How’s your family, Fenton?” Bunny asked.

  “They’re fine,” he said and reached for his wallet. He pulled out a picture of his wife and children. “The boys are growing into men and Scarlett,” he laughed. “She is just into everything. Follows me everywhere,” he said and handed me the picture and I got to see my two brothers and adorable little sister. “She wanted to come here with me.”

  “That’s a beautiful family you have, sir,” I said and handed him back the picture.

  “You married, Mike; any kids?”

  “No, sir. Not married and no kids.”

  So, no, nigga, you don’t have a daughter-in-law and you don’t have any grandchildren, I thought, but thought better of saying.

  I drained my glass and stood up.

  “It was a pleasure meeting you, Fenton.”

  He stood up, shook my hand and looked me in the eyes.

  “I can’t help but think I know you from someplace.”

  “I got that feeling as well,” Bunny said.

  “Anyway, it was good to meet you too, Mike,” he said to me and I left.

  Now I’m ready to go back to New York.

  Chapter Twelve

  I caught a cab back to my hotel and asked the concierge to find out when the next flight to New York was leaving the island. I had done what I came here to do, so it was time to go. Okay, I admit, it damn sure didn’t go like I thought it would. I thought he would have at least remembered who my mother was, but he didn’t.

  Over the years, I’ve looked enough men in the eyes and known when they were lying, and he wasn’t lying to me.

  He didn’t remember my mother at all.

  I mean, what reason would he have to lie about it?

  He didn’t remember my mother at all.

  I sat down on the bed and thought about how fucked up that shit is.

  My father doesn’t remember my mother.

  And if that was the case, what was the point in telling him that he was my father?

  None!

  That’s what point, none!

  There was no point telling that man that I was his son by a woman he doesn’t even remember and then try to convince him that he really is my father. I didn’t come here for that. If he had remembered her, cool, then I would at least have a place to start the conversation. But he didn’t.

  He didn’t remember my mother at all.

  When the concierge called he said that he could get me booked on a flight to Trinidad that was leaving at seven fifteen. I told him to book it and then he told me that I would have to lay over there for the night and leave at six in the morning.

  “Book it anyway,” I said and hung up, thinking that I could call Fe and tell her to come pick me up and I would catch a flight to New York later that day, but I had to get off that island, now.

  Well, Fe picked me up, but I didn’t catch a flight to New York later that day. I ended up staying there with her for three days before I caught a flight to Oranjestad, Aruba. While I was in Nassau with Felicia, she told me about her grandmother that lives in Cas Ariba. It’s a village in the hinterland of the island, as she called it, that she hadn’t seen since she was seven. Felicia met me there and we stayed there for four days before she flew back to Nassau and I went home.

  On the way, I had a lot of time to think and I had a lot to think about. I had been gone a long time, a lot longer than I had planned. I thought I’d stay in Nassau for a week and come back. But I had been gone for almost two months. I think that a large part of that is because of Felicia and Cortisha, but it’s more than that. I learned a lot about myself and who I am. And I learned some of it from them.

  Talking with Cortisha allowed me to explore thoughts, concepts and ideas through her sexy conversation that expanded my mind. And I liked that; I like a smart woman.

  Which leads me to, quiet, shy, Felicia.

  She didn’t talk anywhere near as much as Cortisha, but Felicia looked right through me. Cortisha didn’t see me at all. Had she, I have no doubt that she would have gone and spoiled it all by saying something stupid like, “I know you’re in pain, let’s talk about it.”

  But not Felicia.

  She saw the pain that I thought I was doing a good job of hiding, and even though she seemed to understand and even had insight into where my head was, she allowed me the space to work through it.

  Or maybe it was just that any talk about my feelings would have cut into her fucking time, and trust me, Felicia Brown took fucking time very seriously.

  I learned a few other things about myself. I learned that I love the beach, I love the ocean. I love women in bikinis … but who doesn’t. I learned that I loved to travel and go new places and explore the culture.

  I learned that there are times when my facial expression and mannerisms gave me away, and that can’t happen. I figured if Felicia could do it, she wouldn’t be the only one, so that was something that I had to work on.

  I can no longer be prone to fits of rage and anger. I had to be smart. I had to be the source of fuckin’ wisdom, not the cause of the chaos. I was the boss of my own small, but growing family. There were people that I was responsible to and for, so I couldn’t let my anger influence my judgment any more.

  I thought about something Don Corleone said in The Godfather. It was something that I needed to embra
ce. He said, ‘I spent my whole life trying not to be careless. Women and children can be careless. But not men.’

  I had been careless.

  What I had done because I was mad about killing Vickie, not to mention killing Silky for no other reason than that I wanted to and he fuckin’ deserved it, was reckless and careless and brought this mutha fucka Kirk into my world and more importantly, I had brought him into Andre’s world.

  Careless, reckless and stupid, so it had to stop.

  I needed to be like the ocean. The perfect blend of strength, power and calm. A quiet, peaceful man, but have the potential to be destructive as fuck.

  That’s the new Mike Black.

  Now, I really had been gone a long time. Even though I talked to Bobby and Wanda, I got the feeling that they both thought that I was where I needed to be and told me whatever they thought they needed to, to keep me from running back up there.

  But I was back now, and I planned on getting up to speed as soon as Bobby started the car. But much to my surprise, when I got to baggage claim, it wasn’t Bobby or Wanda that was there to pick me up, it was Michaella.

  “Surprised to see me?” she asked after she kissed me.

  “Yes. But I shouldn’t be, should I?”

  “No, you know that I missed you and I wanted to see you, so I begged Bobby to let me come pick you up.” Michaella laughed. “He said that him and Wanda had important business to talk to you about, but I said that he should at least let you get settled and enjoy me and a good night’s sleep before the two of them bombarded you with business.”

  I laughed. “What did he say to that?”

  “He said that he couldn’t argue with my logic.”

  “I can’t either.” I put my arms around Michaella and kissed her forehead.

  “So here I am with his blessing,” Michaella said.

  “It’s good to see you.”

  She got on her toes and kissed my lips. “It’s good to see you.” She kissed me again. “You know I missed you.”