A Broken Fate

by Cat Mann

Chapter 11

  Secrets

  I wanted to be selfish after dinner and have Ari at home all to myself, but the back deck was filling up with friends from school who still lived in the area. Emily, Sophie and Viola, our 12th floor dorm mates from DPI, shared a flat in L.A. and had driven down to hang out. So had Collin, Misha, Rachel and Nigel, friends of Nick’s that I had met on a few occasions. I began to relax a little bit. Some of the girls from Lauren's floor were there and her new boyfriend, Luke, made a first appearance at the family home. I got a kick out of watching him fidget every time Ari, Rory or Nick asked him a question. I also felt a twinge of pity for him, knowing how it is to be overwhelmed by such a large, close group of people. He seemed to be doing okay, though, and Lauren had a goofy, love-struck smile spread across her face the whole evening.

  I was talking quietly with August when I felt someone grab my shoulders from behind. I let out a scream and everyone fell silent. Whirling around, ready to fight, I found Andy standing there with his hands up in surrender.

  “Oh, Ava, I’m sorry … I didn’t mean to frighten you. I just wanted to see if you might have a chat with me inside.”

  Letting out a shaky breath, I tried to calm back down.

  “It’s okay, Andy, no worries. You just startled me, that’s all … um, maybe another time for the chat? I don’t feel up to talking.”

  “I am here for you, Ava, if you need to talk. Ari tells me you're having a difficult time right now.”

  “I’m fine, totally fine. Another time, though; you don’t need to worry about me when all your friends are here.”

  He looked at me for a long moment with a concerned stare. I forced a smile.

  “If you’re sure, Ava.”

  I nodded my head reassuringly.

  Ari came up to make sure everything was all right.

  “I’m fine, really. Your dad just startled me,” I told him.

  He brushed my cheek with his thumb and cocked his head to the side with a worried expression.

  “We can leave if you want. Head home.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous, Ari. Your friends just showed up, they haven’t seen you since … ”

  … Since the vigil they held when I was missing.

  I heard one of the girls from our old school, Keri, mumble, “She’s such a freak,” to her friend, Skylar, and they both giggled. The two lived on the same floor as Ari and I did, floor number twelve at the dorm. They had never much cared for me, and I had never been sure why. I pretended not to hear them, but a tear slid stubbornly down my cheek, giving away my emotions. Ari clenched his jaw and started to turn towards them. I grabbed his shoulder, “Ari, stop, don’t worry about them.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous, Ava,” was his only response as he walked away from me. He didn't get too far before we heard Julia's voice, draped in ice.

  “You clearly have little regard for Ava, the question is, what brings you here into the midst of my family, her family? If you are here to gawk and sneer, Keri, you have made a serious mistake. You are a sad and tragic excuse for a human, and Skylar is just your pathetic little minion. Time for you to leave. And I’m sorry I invited you to begin with.”

  I mouthed Julia a small “thank you” and she gave me a wink. She might make wild comments that get under my skin, but we are family and the two of us share a bond. I love her like a sister.

  August walked back up and draped an arm over my shoulder. I was happy to see him. One of the best things about having August around was that I could pour my heart out and no one else had any idea about what we were saying.

  “Je me sens stupide,” I said wiping the rest of the tears away with the back of my hand.

  He pulled me in for a one-armed hug, “Non, elles étaient stupides.”

  As I continued to talk quietly with August in French, I filled him in on my anxiety and constant feeling of uneasiness. I knew I should have been talking to Ari about my feelings, but I also knew Ari would overreact and want to leave and I could tell he was having a nice time. He was smiling and the little crease in his forehead was nowhere in sight.

  I tried to be careful, though. Ari gets a little annoyed when August and I talk together in French, and August tends to use Ari’s lack of French to his own advantage. Ari especially dislikes hearing his own name in a mix of other words he does not understand. Often, back when we were in Montréal, August and I teased Ari by saying his name in the middle of conversations that had nothing to do with him. August started to pull that very trick, using Ari’s name, rolling his eyes and moving his hands dramatically, and a giggle burst from my lips for the first time since before my last flashback.

  I knew August was teasing Ari more to make me forget about my worries, but he was also doing a great job of getting under Ari’s skin. In between my laughter, I explained to Ari that August was just being playful and that the story he was telling had nothing to do with Ari but, instead, was about a foolish ex-boyfriend. Ari looked at me skeptically.

  “He was just trying to make me feel better at your expense,” I reassured him with a small smile.

  “If that’s the case, then I’ll willingly be the butt of all his jokes. I miss that giggle; it makes my heart smile.” Ari wrapped his arms tight around me in a hug and kissed my forehead.

  Ari stayed by my side the rest of the evening and when Aggie kicked people out on account of the noise and late hour, Ari, Rory, Nick and August brought the late-night party goers over to our house.

  Ari and I snuck off to bed a couple of hours after that and when I woke the next morning, I discovered people scattered all about the house sleeping on my couches, chairs and even the floor. I made my way through the sea of bodies and made a pot of coffee. I grabbed the paper, filled up two mugs, and headed back to bed. The smell of coffee woke Ari up and I handed him a mug and The Times.

  “I wouldn’t go out there if I were you,” I warned him, getting comfortable under his arm.

  “Mmm,” he smiled, “I have no intentions of leaving this bed this morning.” Ari opened the paper to our favorite section and we read it together, trading little comments to each other here and there, very much the old married couple.

  A bit later, there was a knock on our bedroom door. Ari called out from the bed that the door was open and in popped Emily’s curly head. She smiled and walked the rest of the way into the room.

  “Oh, my gosh; you two are so cute!”

  I blushed and Ari laughed. “Is there something we can help you with, Em?” Ari put the paper down on his lap and removed his reading glasses.

  “Am I interrupting you?”

  “Of course not; what’s up?” Ari said.

  “Nothing. I just wanted to thank you two for the invite to the party. I had a great time. I haven’t seen either of you in a while and loved catching up. Your house is amazing, by the way. I am majorly jealous right now.”

  “Want the tour?” Ari asked as he pushed his head off the headboard in an attempt to get out of bed.

  “Oh no, no. Some other time, stay put.”

  Ari eased back down.

  “So anyway, we are all leaving. Thanks again for the invite. I hope to see you both again soon.”

  “You are always welcome. You know that,” Ari told her.

  Emily’s eyes bounced about the room, she wrapped a curl around her finger, twirling it around and around. Clearly something else was on her mind.

  “It's not like you to be shy, Em. What’s going on?” Ari is an expert at reading people’s body language. God knows he always can tell when I am not being truthful.

  “Well, um, I kind of wondered – is your cousin dating anyone?”

  “You're going to have to be more specific, Emily,” he laughed.

  Even though Ari’s only “real” cousins are Rory and Nick, he has several, more distant family members – second cousins, cousins twice removed – and for simplification’s sake, all of them refer to one another as cousins.

  “Nick,” Emily answered, blushing a h
ot pink.

  “Ah … ”

  Ari readjusted his body and rubbed at the stubble on his cheek. “Nick’s a hard nut to crack, Em. But yes, he and Misha kind of have a thing going.”

  This was news to me.

  Emily frowned. “Oh, ok then.”

  “Sorry.” Ari grimaced.

  “No worries.” Emily laughed it off, said goodbye once more and shut our bedroom door.

  I turned to Ari. “I didn’t know Misha and Nick were dating!”

  “Don’t tell anyone, Ava, okay? Rory doesn’t even know.”

  “What? Why? Misha is wonderful. She is so nice.”

  “She is,” Ari agreed.

  “Then what’s with the secrecy?”

  Ari bit down on his lip. “He doesn’t want his parents to know.”

  “But why?” I pressed.

  “Misha isn’t Greek, Ava. Thais and Gianna wouldn’t be happy about that.”

  “You have got to be kidding me! They wouldn’t want Nick dating someone who isn’t Greek? That is so, so stupid.”

  Ari gave me a look as though I may have overstepped my bounds.

  “I get why you may think that fretting about dating a non-Greek is foolish. A part of me agrees with you. But, as you know, our family is ultra-traditional when it comes to heritage. Our parents expect Greek babies. That expectation is instilled in us from a very young age.”

  “Ari, I don’t mean to be rude, but I think that expectation is archaic. Nick, and anyone else in this family, should be able to choose the person to love. What if I weren't Greek? Would you have dated me … married me?”

  Ari smiled at me and ran his fingers across my lips. “It doesn’t matter because you are Greek.”

  I frowned at him.

  “Ava, don’t dwell on this issue; it's the way things are with us. You'll be knocking your head against a wall.” He sighed, kissed my cheek, and picked the paper back up to read.

  “What does Misha think about Nick not telling his family about her? Doesn’t that hurt her feelings? How serious is their relationship?”

  Ari grudgingly placed the paper back down. “They are choosing to be together in spite of the difficulties; it's not really our business, Ava. Misha has confided in me once or twice and yes, her feelings are hurt that she isn’t welcome to come to family events as Nick's girlfriend. But she understands Nick’s predicament and she supports him. And yes, they are serious. They have been together for a few years … they actually live together.”

  “What?! How is that possible? They live together and no one even knows they are dating?”

  “Nick works hard at keeping his life private, Ava. You of all people should understand how compelling the need for privacy can be. We need to keep this information quiet. Neither Misha nor Nick would like it to come out.

  “Of course not; I won’t mention anything, I promise.”

  “Good.” Ari picked the paper back up to continue his article.

  “I just … ”

  He let out a determined puff of breath in obvious annoyance.

  “I mean, If I weren’t Greek would you still have dated me?”

  “You are Greek, Ava. This isn’t about us.”

  Ari’s evasion of the subject told me that his honest answer would have been no. No, he would not have dated me if I were not Greek.

  I crossed my arms over my chest. I was angry. Angry at Nick for not being a man and standing up to his parents for the woman that he loved. Angry at Misha for putting up with the situation in the first place. And angry at Ari for buying into such an archaic tradition.

  “Listen Baby,” Ari turned to me. “I love you. I get that you are upset but, like I said, this isn’t about us. You don’t have to worry about this small family rule.”

  “That’s right; I don’t have to worry about who's Greek and who isn’t. Since we aren’t having kids, finding Greek mates for them won’t be a problem. I won’t have to tell my kids they can’t fall in love with this person or that person, because there won't be any children.”

  Ari rolled his eyes at me. “Ah, yes, that’s right. The childless family. And when my mother finds out you won't give her grandchildren, she will kill you and I will have to find another Greek girl to marry and bear my children.”

  I gasped. I was appalled by Ari’s comment.

  Ari smiled brightly.

  “Just kidding!” Pause. “Well, sort of … my mother will kill you when she finds out you don’t want babies.”

  I shot Ari a dirty look.

  “Ava,” he said sweetly in my ear, “don’t let this ruin your day.” He nuzzled his nose in my hair. I tried to nudge Ari off me but he wouldn’t budge. “I am not going to let you stay mad. I have ways of making you forget – easily.”

  Ari moved his lips to my ear. I felt the warm sensation in the pit of my stomach, a feeling that I love and know so well. I squirmed and Ari laughed.

  Ari shifted and moved his lips to my lips and kissed me tenderly.

  The bedroom door creaked open. Rory, Julia, and August all made their way into our room, interrupting the moment.

  “It’s, like, ten o’clock in the morning! You two need a hobby other than the beast with two backs.”

  “Rory.” Ari greeted him with an irritated tone as he moved his head back to its place on the headboard. “Morning.”

  The three piled in our room and made themselves at home at the foot of our bed.

  Rory recapped some pretty funny stories that happened after Ari and I had fallen asleep and August, in an incredibly animated fashion, told Julia and Rory all about how he had teased Ari the night before. Then he sheepishly announced that he had met someone.

  “You guys remember Collin, Nick’s friend?” he asked.

  I had met Collin several times. He seemed really nice but he had never really spoken to me before.

  “Yeah, Collin – cute guy with really, short, light blonde hair and glasses like Ari’s?” I asked.

  “Yes!” August said with a huge grin. “We met a few months ago at your wedding and then again when umm … well, Ava, when you were missing, and we got to talking. I thought he was so cute, but I was too worried about you to think anything more about it. So anyway, when we met again last night we hit it off and, well, we’ve got a date in a few days!”

  Julia and I both squealed and Rory and Ari rolled their eyes at us. August filled us in on all the details and once the coffee was gone, the paper was read, and the sleeping crowd of people had dispersed, we made our way out on to the pool deck for an afternoon in the sun.

  Ari and I stayed put on the hammock. He worked on getting caught up on some issues for baio and seemed to be getting the hang of Margaux’s requests just fine. I think he was even enjoying the work.

  Rory, August, Julia, Lauren, her new boyfriend Luke, Andy and Aggie, Nick, Gianna and Thais had arrived and began playing volleyball in our pool.

  “Is he Greek?”

  Ari looked up from his work.

  “What?”

  “Luke, is Luke Greek?”

  Ari pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yes. He is not a “descendant,” but he is Greek.”

  So stupid. I thought to myself, but suppressed an eye roll. I didn’t want to fight with Ari. I looked up at him and smiled then planted a little kiss on his lips.

  “You can join them, you know,” I said referring to his family splashing around and laughing in our pool.

  “Yeah, but I don’t want to leave you.”

  “Please, Ari,” I said, this time rolling my eyes, playfully. “I can tell you’re dying to get your mom’s hair wet so just do it already.”

  He laughed, “Why on Earth would she get in the pool if she didn’t want to get her hair wet?”

  “Do it!” I said encouraging him.

  He set his iPad and glasses down on the table next to me and snuck off the patio and down to the pool deck unnoticed. He did a cannonball, creating a huge splash right in front of Aggie. She yelled at him and splashed him back
playfully. Then, defending his wife, Andy jumped on Ari’s shoulders and dunked him in the pool. I watched fondly at the close-knit relationship that Ari had with his parents – with his whole family – and I couldn’t help but feel that I was pushing a wedge between us by keeping the dark secrets I had of the remaining Kakos to myself. I thought about Nick’s secret from the family – his undisclosed relationship with Misha. I was wrong to judge him. I was keeping a big, life-threating secret from them. They were all in danger because of me; I rolled over away from the group and wept quietly to myself.

  Ari had music blaring through the speakers but still I somehow managed to cry myself to sleep. Dreams came: shadows, scissors, and images of my loved ones dying horrible deaths. Dreams of me killing others, murdering them in cold blood.

  When I woke up, it was dusk and I was covered with Ari’s towel. The smell of charcoal on the grill wafted in the air. August was in the middle of telling the story about the killing of No. 4. I had never shared those details with the family. Somehow, August managed to make the story, the same one that haunted my sleep at night, sound funny. I sat up and stretched. August noticed me and fell silent.

  “Sorry, Ava,” he said quietly.

  I waved him off, “Nah, Aug, don’t worry about it.” My joints popped as I stretched again. “It’s your story, too. We do seem to remember the important details a little differently, though.”

  “Well, if that’s the case, maybe you should tell it,” he said, as I made my way over to the patio table. There weren’t any seats left so I climbed up on Ari’s lap and ran my fingers through his hair.

  “You should have woken me up; I didn’t intend to fall asleep.”

  “No way – you looked so peaceful in your sleep for once.”

  “That’s strange; I had nothing but weird nightmares that involved me killing your mom.”

  Ari laughed.

  “That’s not funny!” Aggie snapped.

  “I didn’t intend it to be. I love you, Aggie, very much. I can’t help what I dream.” I smiled at her. Aggie gave up on being angry and smiled back.

  Ari’s family, our family, gathered around our pool and shared stories and laughs, ate, drank and star gazed until slowly people began to head for home, one at a time. After the last goodbye was said and the final hug given, for the first time in what felt like forever, Ari and I were alone. We very quickly found our way to our bedroom. I insisted on taking a shower so Ari opted to join me and we found we had no need for a bed after all.