by Sarah Forbes
“You can’t be seasick, dear, the ship isn’t moving yet,” said her husband, patting her on the back. “And there’s a very calm forecast, so you’ve nothing to worry about.”
Elspeth breathed out in relief. They weren’t in any trouble … yet. Then she spotted a tall lady in a bright red dress, holding an angry-looking cat. “There’s Lady Spewitt,” she whispered to Rory. “She was mentioned in that newspaper article about the HMS Unsinkable. She and her husband are the richest couple in the UK. That’s her cat, Tinkiewinks. He goes everywhere with her.”
Rory looked worried. “Lazlo’s really scared of cats,” he said. “Let’s move to the other side of the deck.”
But before they could go anywhere, Tinkiewinks raised his nose in the air and sniffed. He gave a hiss, leaped out of Lady Spewitt’s arms and shot towards Elspeth and Rory. Lady Spewitt hurried after him and Elspeth’s heart started thumping as the woman approached.
“Awfully excitable, aren’t you, Tinkiewinks?” Lady Spewitt said, scooping up the cat and stroking his head.
She looked at Elspeth and Rory more closely, glancing at Elspeth’s rucksack and her scruffy dress.
“Are you two allowed to be here by yourselves?” she asked suspiciously.
“Oh yes, of course we are!” Elspeth replied, stepping in front of Rory. “Mummy and Daddy are just unpacking,” she added.
Lady Spewitt raised her eyebrows then moved off, clutching Tinkiewinks tightly.
Rory gave a sigh of relief. “Lazlo’s trembling, he’s so terrified. We need to keep him away from that stupid cat or—”
His voice was drowned out by the sound of the ship’s horn. A loud cheer went up from the passengers.
“We’re off!” someone shouted.
And the HMS Unsinkable, with her 8,000 passengers and sparkling chandeliers and ballroom and swimming pool and fancy beauty salon, moved slowly away from the dock and started her very first voyage.
Elspeth and Rory leaned on the railing and gazed out at the crowds on the pier getting gradually smaller as the ship sailed away. But then Elspeth had an awful thought.
“Rory! What about Mum and Dad?” she gasped. “What if they come home, and I’m in New York? They’ll never find me! What can I do?”
Rory thought fast. “It’s OK,” he said. “You can send a message in a bottle! Quick!” He grabbed an empty lemonade bottle from a nearby table and shook out the last drops. “Write them a note.”
“Rory, that stuff only works in stories,” Elspeth said in despair. “It won’t get to them.”
“Do it right now, before we’re too far from shore,” Rory said. “Come on, Elspeth. You’re always telling me not to give up. It’s worth a shot!”
Elspeth knew he was right. She scribbled a quick note to her mum and dad and wrote their address on the other side of the paper. Then Rory shoved the message in the bottle, screwed the lid on tightly and handed it back to her. “Quickly,” he said. “Don’t let anyone see you.”
Elspeth leaned out and threw the bottle over the side. The ship was so huge that they didn’t even hear the splash when it landed in the water. Elspeth gazed down for a moment, then turned back to Rory.
“Come on,” she said. “Let’s go inside. We’ll find a place to sleep tonight, then we can make a proper plan for getting the recipe back.”
They slipped through the crowds and down some stairs. Elspeth paused in front of a door marked Store.
“This might be a good hiding place,” she said. She opened the door and looked inside. It was empty, apart from a pile of blankets on a shelf and a broom in the corner. It was a small space, but it didn’t look like it was used much. She flopped down on to the floor with a sigh.
“We can hide out here,” she said. She got out her notebook. “I saw a sign saying the salon is down on level four of the ship – that’s right at the bottom. I think I need to go on an exploring mission before we search for the recipe. That’s what a detective would do – to get an idea of where everything is.”
“That’s a good start,” Rory said. He got Lazlo out of his blazer pocket and let him have a run around. “I just hope no one comes in here.”
Elspeth and Rory had no idea, dear reader, that someone had been watching them creep along the passage. And that someone knew exactly where they were hiding.
Just as Elspeth started sketching out a plan of the ship, she heard a noise. She glanced at Rory, who put his finger to his lips. They both stayed very still, staring at the door.
The handle started turning.
Elspeth jumped up as the door flew open.
A girl stood in the doorway. She was about the same age as them, with mousy blonde hair and bright blue eyes. And she looked angry.
“What are you doing in my den?” the girl hissed.
Elspeth blinked in surprise. “Your den? It’s just a storeroom, isn’t it?”
“That’s not the point,” the girl said. She stepped inside the room and closed the door behind her. “I spotted it first. I want it to be my hideout, and nobody else is supposed to be in here! Who are you?”
“I’m Elspeth, and this is my friend, Rory,” Elspeth said.
“And this is Lazlo,” Rory said quickly.
Lazlo stared at the girl suspiciously.
The girl frowned. “Are your parents annoying you, too?” she asked, sounding a bit less cross. “That’s why I wanted to hide out here. Mine are driving me mad. They make me go on a cruise with them every single summer – I think they’re addicted! I feel like I’ve spent my life on cruise ships… I’m Cassie, by the way. Cassie Lovett. So, are you hiding out to get away from your mum and dad?”
Elspeth paused, thinking about what she could say. She glanced over at Rory, who gave a tiny shrug.
“Don’t worry,” said Cassie. “I’m just being friendly! Ooh, am I asking too many questions? Mum says I always do that…”
Elspeth chewed her lip. Cassie seemed nice, but how much should they tell her?
“It’s just … our parents aren’t on the boat,” Elspeth said at last. “We sneaked on, and we’ll be in so much trouble if we’re caught. Please don’t tell anyone you’ve seen us!”
“Wow,” Cassie said. Her eyes grew even bigger. “You’re … stowaways? That’s so cool! But why are you heading to America? Are you running away from home?”
Again, Elspeth hesitated. She didn’t want to give too much away.
Cassie stepped forward with a curious look on her face. “Are you in trouble?” she asked, sounding concerned. “You can tell me. I might be able to help you. I know my way around these ships. I can make sure you don’t get caught.”
Elspeth looked into Cassie’s kind blue eyes and thought that she meant what she said. Perhaps Cassie could help them … but Elspeth would have to tell her the truth first.
“It’s a long story,” Elspeth said. “Are you sure you want to know? I don’t want to get you in trouble, too…”
Cassie nodded seriously. “Go on, you can trust me. I promise.”
“Well, I was kidnapped last year by two criminals called Miss Crabb and Gladys Goulash. They stole me from my mum and dad –” Elspeth’s eyes filled with tears, but she was determined not to cry – “because I had a top-secret recipe and they think it’s worth lots of money. They were keeping me in a terrible boarding school—”
“Where Elspeth met me and Lazlo,” interrupted Rory.
“And Rory helped me escape. But when I got back home, Miss Crabb and Gladys Goulash came after me and stole the recipe from my house. They’ve sneaked on board this ship and now we’re here because we have to get the recipe back.”
“What? No way!” Cassie was silent for a second, shaking her head. “You’re very brave. It all sounds awfully dangerous.”
Elspeth raised her chin. “Maybe it is, but that recipe was very precious to my parents. I don’t even know where my mum and dad are now – they went abroad looking for me. But I’m not letting those horrible women get away with stealing from u
s.”
“Wow,” Cassie said. “Well, it sounds like you’ve made up your mind. You can’t stay here, though – someone might spot you. But I do know somewhere you could hide…”
Cassie led them along the corridor, down two flights of stairs and into a first-class section of the ship. She pushed open a door to reveal a magnificent cabin with two beds and a splendid view of the sea.
“Ta-daaa!” she said.
“We can’t stay here,” Elspeth said.
“No, honestly, you can!” Cassie grinned. “My mother travels with such a RIDICULOUS amount of luggage that they book an extra room when they sail, just in case. They don’t need this space. They’ve forgotten it’s even here!”
Cassie jumped up on one of the beds and bounced a few times.
Elspeth and Rory glanced at each other. Was it too good to be true?
“Why isn’t this your den, if nobody comes in here?” Rory asked suspiciously.
“Because it’s no fun staying somewhere I’m allowed to be,” Cassie said. “It’s much better to hide out in places where kids aren’t supposed to go. Everyone keeps saying this boat is special, but it’s got the exact same layout as a cruise ship we went on last year. I can show you around if you like. We could do it tonight! When the grown-ups are asleep.”
“Will you take us to the hair and beauty salon?” asked Elspeth. “That’s where Miss Crabb and Gladys Goulash will be. They’re pretending to be hair and beauty ladies. But we’ll have to be very careful, because I need to make sure they don’t spot me! I just want to do a bit of exploring first of all, so I know what the salon is like.”
Cassie nodded. “Definitely,” she said. “I can show you the Extremely Elegant Hair and Beauty Salon tonight.”
That night they sneaked around the ship after everyone else had gone to bed. They went into the kitchens and the dining room and the ballroom, and they even peeked in at the swimming pool, until Lazlo tried to go for a swim.
“I love swimming,” Cassie said as Rory grabbed Lazlo from the edge of the pool. “Once I swam across the English Channel! And once I went on a cruise to the North Pole and swam with penguins!”
Elspeth wasn’t sure she believed Cassie’s wild stories, but their new friend was a very good guide. With Cassie’s help, they crawled and climbed and jumped over all the interesting parts of the ship. Finally Cassie showed them the corridor leading to the hair and beauty salon.
“It’s through there,” she whispered, pointing.
Elspeth and Rory stared down the dark corridor. They were so close…
“Thanks, Cassie,” Elspeth said softly. She took a deep breath. “I’m going to have to work out how to sneak in there. Once I’ve seen the layout of the salon, then I can figure out how to find the recipe.”
The HMS Unsinkable Extremely Elegant Hair and Beauty Salon looked fabulous. It had two rooms, big shiny mirrors with spotlights around them, lots of fluffy towels and comfortable chairs. And it would have been fabulous, if Poppy and Pippy were working there. But they were not. Poppy and Pippy were stuck in a storeroom feeling very sorry for themselves and eating a block of stale cheese for lunch. They kept banging on the door and shouting for help, but nobody could hear them.
In one room of the salon, Gladys Goulash was painting Lady Spewitt’s toenails. Gladys had put on her favourite album, Highland Bagpipe Classics. I don’t know if you have ever heard bagpipes, dear reader, but they really are quite difficult to listen to when they are played at top volume from a speaker that is right next to your head.
“Could you turn that music down a little?” asked Lady Spewitt impatiently.
“What? This music’s my favourite!” said Gladys. Then she remembered she was supposed to be behaving herself. “I mean, yes, of course, I’m most terribly sorry, madam,” she said in a fake-nice voice, turning the music off and giving Lady Spewitt her best smile.
In the next room, Miss Crabb was cutting the hair of the distinguished explorer, Baron Van Der Blink. She was doing her best, but his hair was rather uneven. Baron Van Der Blink looked worried, but Miss Crabb just grinned at him and kept on cutting.
“Lovely hair you’ve got,” she said. “This style is what everyone is asking for in, um, Iceland.”
“Iceland?” Baron Van Der Blink said in confusion. “I’ve visited Iceland. I didn’t see anyone with hair like this.”
“Ooh, yes, that’s where I was trained – they’ve got lovely haircuts in Iceland,” said Miss Crabb, making it up as she went along. “In fact, I won an award for Iceland’s Hairchopper of the Century!”
“Of the century?” Baron Van Der Blink said suspiciously. He wriggled around in his chair a bit. “You’re the best hairdresser they’ve had in a hundred years?”
Miss Crabb didn’t like all these questions. She threw the scissors down. “There you are. Done! Isn’t it lovely?”
Baron Van Der Blink looked at his reflection doubtfully. “I’m not sure it’s all the same length,” he said.
“Course it is!” Miss Crabb said firmly. “You look ever so handsome.” She helped him up and gave him a big grin. “That will be fifty pounds, please.”
Baron Van Der Blink shrugged, then took out his wallet and handed over the money. He walked away slowly, touching the back of his head.
When he’d left, Miss Crabb slammed the door and stuffed the fifty-pound note down her jumper. “Nice bit of extra cash,” she muttered. “That’ll buy me some lovely new false teeth when we get to New York.”
Just then the door flew open and Gladys Goulash plodded in, followed by Lady Spewitt, who was looking slightly cross.
Miss Crabb gave what she thought was a friendly smile, but she looked like a dog baring its teeth. “Thank you for visiting the Extremely Elegant Hair and Beauty Salon! I hope you’ve enjoyed your experience.”
Lady Spewitt scowled. “Well, I suppose it was fine – once she’d turned off that awful music!”
Miss Crabb flared her nostrils and gave Gladys Goulash her sternest glare.
Then she clasped her hands together and smiled at Lady Spewitt.
“I’m so terribly sorry,” Miss Crabb said in a sugary voice. “There’ll be no charge – and I do hope you’ll come back another day.”
Lady Spewitt nodded and left, looking rather dazed.
As soon as the door had closed behind her, Miss Crabb threw a pot of hair gel at Gladys Goulash’s head.
“You nincompoop!” Miss Crabb hollered. “You’ve upset the customer! You have to keep them happy or they’ll realize we’re fakes!”
The ship gave a sudden lurch and sent Miss Crabb flying into a pile of dirty towels.
“You need to do better, Gladys Goulash,” she cried, struggling to get up. “Or I’ll throw you to the sharks!”
Elspeth woke up the next morning with a jolt when Rory’s alarm clock went off. For a second she couldn’t think where on earth she was, then in a flash she remembered she was on the HMS Unsinkable, and Cassie had sneaked them into a fancy cabin.
Elspeth got up with a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach. The ship was swaying from side to side, and it was making her feel funny. Then she remembered that she was going to do some detective work in the Extremely Elegant Hair and Beauty Salon, and that made her stomach churn even more.
I have to be brave, Elspeth thought to herself as she got washed and dressed. It’s worth the risk if I can get Mum and Dad’s recipe back.
She heard Cassie’s special knock: three knocks, then two, then one. That was how they knew it was safe to open the cabin door.
“Ready?” Cassie grinned at them. “Exploring mission: GO!”
They all hurried down to the lowest level of the ship, holding on to the railings to keep themselves steady as the ship tipped from side to side.
“Urgh, I’m not sure I like being at sea,” Rory said, as they arrived at the corridor leading to the salon. He looked a bit green. “Be very careful, Elspeth,” he added. “Don’t let them see you.”
“I
will be careful,” said Elspeth, “but I need to do this. Otherwise I’ve got no way of knowing where things are in the salon, and where Crabb and Goulash sleep. You two keep lookout. If I’m not back in five minutes, I need help!”
“Good luck!” they whispered.
As she walked down the corridor, Elspeth thought for a second that she could hear a muffled banging, but when she paused to listen, it had stopped. She took a deep breath and kept going until she reached a glass door with the words Extremely Elegant Hair and Beauty Salon on it. Very carefully, Elspeth leaned forward until she could see inside.
Even under that terrible wig, she could clearly see that the woman scribbling in a greasy old notebook was Miss Crabb. Gladys Goulash was with her, slowly counting a pile of fifty-pound notes and burping. Elspeth gave a shiver at seeing them so close.
She peered in, trying to guess where they might have hidden the recipe. In one of the cupboards, maybe? Or in the box with the fifty-pound notes? But Elspeth couldn’t get any nearer without being seen. She looked further down the corridor and noticed an open door, revealing a very untidy cabin. An awful smell was coming from inside, and Elspeth could just make out two beds and a pile of clothes on the floor. But she didn’t dare go closer in case Crabb and Goulash spotted her through the glass door.
She moved quietly back along the corridor to Cassie and Rory, who were hiding behind a big display of fancy flowers.
“I saw their cabin!” she told them. “I’ll need to search in there as well as in the salon. But how can we get both of them out of the way for long enough?” she said. “Cassie, what happens on a ship like this if someone sets off a fire alarm?”