Sam and Evie - A Lost Highlander Novella

by Cassidy Cayman

  “Please stop lying,” she begged. “I don’t care if you don’t want to run with me. I can run alone or with Mellie. I don’t need you to listen to the same music as me, but why would you lie about it? I kept seeing things like that, and it all added up, and I didn’t think I could trust you. I have to be able to trust you about little things as well as big things.”

  He closed his eyes and she waited for him to start in on her for being crazy, for worrying about things that shouldn’t matter. When he opened them, his lip quirked slightly and he nodded once.

  “Aye, Evelyn,” he started. “I have lied to you. When I first met you, I thought you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.” He raked his fingers through his hair and winced as if he was embarrassed. “I still do. I always will. And I really started to like you, so when you said you liked Ben Kweller I pretended I did too, even though I never heard of him before. So then I downloaded some songs and didn’t really like them.”

  Evelyn rolled her eyes. Even she was starting to think this was stupid. He reached over and grabbed her hand.

  “But I don’t hate it. If it’s on in the room, I honestly don’t mind. I just wouldn’t choose to listen to it on my own. And I really do like jogging. It just sucks that you have more stamina than me, even when you’re pregnant.” He blinked. “That’s the truth, Ev.”

  Tears burned the backs of her eyes and she tilted her head back to keep them from spilling over. “What about the dog?” she demanded. “You agreed to get him and never wanted him!” She glared at him and he shook his head tiredly.

  “Mags wasn’t born yet. I thought a dog would make things difficult. It’s hard to take a holiday when you have a dog.”

  “Why’d you agree? Why didn’t you just say no?”

  “I wanted you to be happy?” he said, the first traces of impatience coming through in his voice.

  She jerked her hand away. “You can’t do that,” she said. A tear rolled down her cheek and she wiped it away, balling her hands into fists. “Every time you do something you don’t want to do to make me happy will just build up resentment until you can’t stand me. I don’t want to be one of those couples that barely tolerates each other in the end. Whenever you listen to music you don’t like or eat food you don’t like—”

  “I never ate food I didn’t like,” he said indignantly.

  “Mint chocolate chip ice cream, in my second trimester,” she lobbed back. Oh, there it was. He finally rolled his eyes. She started to cry in earnest. Why couldn’t he understand?

  Sam came around to her side of the bar. Leaning over and gripping her shoulders, he gave her a little shake.

  “The damn ice cream was fine. Jesus Christ, so it isn’t my favorite. We practically went broke buying all the ice cream you were eating at the time. I was trying to save a few quid and not get any extra.”

  “So, you think I got fat?” she said, anger drying up her tears.

  He looked like he was building up a solid fury as well. “I do not think you got fat,” he roared, dropping her shoulders and turning abruptly away. “Even though you ate enough food for three bloody people while you were pregnant.”

  She sniffled. “Well I was allowed to eat for two, so it’s just one extra person.”

  He put his head in his hands and started laughing, trying to stifle it, but failing miserably. Evelyn couldn’t help it, his laugh was so contagious, and getting everything out in the open had been remarkably cathartic.

  She giggled and blew her nose. “Why do we always end up laughing when we argue?” she asked.

  He still had his hands over his face and he spread his fingers to look at her. “Maybe because the things we argue about are ridiculous,” he said with a shrug.

  “Maybe the music and some of the other things weren’t that important,” she said slowly. “It’s sweet you wanted me to be happy, but don’t you see I wanted you to be happy too? Every time I turned around it seemed like you were putting yourself aside to accommodate me. I started to wonder if we really had anything in common at all. I couldn’t stand thinking you were trapped with me because of Magnus and just making the best of it because you’re so agreeable.”

  He dropped his hands and looked at her with open-mouthed disbelief. “You and Mags are the best things that ever happened to me,” he said. “And we have plenty in common. Jogging. Reading. Scifi on the telly.”

  “Is that all?” she asked, wiping her face with a nearby dish towel. Her heart ached to believe him.

  “There’s plenty more,” he said. “Harry Potter. Baked goods. You hate to be cold and I like keeping you warm.”

  He took a step closer and tentatively reached out to her. Her chest constricted at the beseeching look on his face. His eyes were so full of yearning, she thought she might break into little pieces.

  “Stop saying things that hurt my heart,” she said.

  “If you stop doing things that hurt mine,” he replied, closing the space between them.

  He rested his hands on her shoulder and looked into her eyes. She nodded slightly as he leaned down to kiss her.

  His kiss was tentative at first, wanting her to make the first move, but he held her tightly, pulling her close. It felt exactly right, all of it. His hands, his body, his mouth, all her thoughts clicked into place and were clear for the first time in weeks. She’d been home for days but this was the first moment she accepted it and made it true. He’d wanted her all along. She decided she could forgive his little deceptions, and wished she had spoken up about them sooner.

  She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his head down to her, opening her mouth as she opened her heart, and sliding her tongue along his lower lip. He pulled her closer so that she came off the barstool and stumbled into him, sending him bumping into the fridge.

  “I’m sorry,” she mumbled through the kiss, meaning for leaving without any explanations.

  He ran his hands down her backside and shook his head. “Don’t,” he said. “Just tell me next time, instead of leaving.”

  Anguish sliced through her and she shuddered at the time she wasted, time they could have been together like this. Being close to him felt like finally being home. It wasn’t just the house or the town, but all of it together. She’d managed to find what was perfect for her and had almost tossed it away. And now she was lucky enough to get another chance. She clung to him, burying her face in the crook of his shoulder, inhaling his woodsy scent and trying to capture the moment forever in her senses.

  The heat of his body pressing against hers felt absolutely right. She smoothed the soft, wavy strands of his hair away from his handsome face, able to look at him for the first time in a long while without feeling the sharp claw of regret in her chest. How had she gone so long without, and how had she ever thought she could have survived if she’d left him for good?

  As he looked down at her, his brow furrowed. “I’m sorry as well,” he said, swallowing hard.

  She shook her head, thinking that now it was all out he really didn’t need to apologize. She opened her mouth to tell him and he silenced her with another earth quaking kiss.

  Coming up for air, he said, “I won’t agree if I don’t agree, okay? We’ll be adults and discuss things.” His hands roamed up her back, tugging on the stretchy fabric of her long sleeved dress. “Och, where’s the opening on this.” He frowned. “I just want to feel your skin.”

  “Oh, that’s a good idea,” she said.

  As if to taunt him, she yanked his dress shirt out of his trousers and ran her palms up from his stomach to his chest, popping a button in her eagerness. He was warm and hard and she dug in her fingernails with a grin.

  “That’s quite unfair.”

  He leaned over and picked her up around her waist, hoisting her over his shoulder like she was a sack of vegetables and carried her to his bedroom. Inside the darkened room, he kept his arms wrapped around her and slid her down the front of his body, gripping the hem of her dress and helping her pull it over her he
ad. All of her nerve endings were alive and singing, but when the cool air of the room hit her bare skin, she felt suddenly uncomfortable.

  It had been a long time since they’d done this, since he’d seen her without clothes. It was one thing to be out-to-there pregnant, there was nothing to be done about that, but she was still squishy, still had the remnants of a belly, and her stretch marks were still vivid. She stood there in her unsexy underwear and shivered.

  Sam didn’t seem to notice her discomfort, too eager after missing her for so long. He gripped her hips and held her away from him so he could fully take her in. Without thought, she raised her arms to cover her midsection and he jerked his eyes up to her face, crestfallen to see her upset.

  “Ah, Ev,” he said, taking her face in his hands. “I wish you loved your body as much as I do.”

  Tears filled her eyes and she laughed, chagrined. When he lowered his mouth to hers, she believed him with every fiber of her being. And once her nerves subsided, her blood began to burn up with every stroke of his fingers across her newly revealed flesh.

  He edged her backwards until her legs bumped the end of the bed, and with a devilish smile, he gave her a gentle shove so she was soon lying flat on her back on it. He knelt over her and she reached up to place her hands on his chest, just enjoying her view of him, but her heart pounding as she longed for more.

  With shaking hands she unbuttoned the rest of his shirt, biting her lip in embarrassment when she came to the spot where she’d popped one off in her haste. He shrugged out of it and hovered above her in his crisp white t-shirt, his pecs flexing under her palms, his breath growing ragged as she kept him at arm’s length. Looking into his deep green eyes felt like soaring off a cliff. She was exhilarated, excited and scared.

  Everything inside her wanted to make things the way they should have been all along. She didn’t know what strange insecurity had driven her away but it was gone now, and there was only Sam. With a soft sound, she closed her eyes, too overwhelmed by the tender look on his face to keep them open.

  He took her hands in his and kissed each one, then moved over her, pressing her hands into the mattress above her head as he nuzzled the side of her throat. Pure, hot pleasure rocketed down her body. She arched into him and wrapped her legs around his hips.

  “Sam,” she said, her voice raspy with desire.

  He nodded against her shoulder. “I know,” he said, dropping her hands so he could get out of the rest of his clothes.

  When they were tossed across the room, he edged the straps of her bra off her shoulders and she tilted off the mattress so he could unhook it, squeezing her eyes shut again and trying not be mortified when it came all the way off. With the feather light brush of his fingertips up the sides of her breasts, then the slow slide of his lips across her nipple, she forgot to worry what he might think about their new appearance. He was clearly enjoying himself and driving her nearly insane with his caresses.

  He was like a Las Vegas buffet to her after being without him so long, and she ran her hands hungrily over his shoulders and down his back, reveling in the tightening of his muscles as she slid her fingernails down his sides.

  “I missed you,” she whispered, barely aware she’d spoken aloud, and was surprised when he looked up from kissing his way down her ribcage.

  He scooted back up, pushing her hair away from her face, tracing his finger down her jaw as he gazed at her. His eyes held a tinge of pain and she wished she could erase it. She opened her mouth to say something but he shook his head. He settled himself atop her and dropped his head onto her shoulder.

  “Are you back?” he asked, pressing a kiss against her collarbone. “I don’t think I can do this unless you are. I think it would kill me.”

  She could feel him shaking, all his muscles tense with the urge to keep going, but the fact that he didn’t want to risk losing her again made her head spin. Leave it to Sam to make her think. Her heart sped up even more than its already rapid pace. She wanted to trust him, and right now she did. But what would happen in a week or a month or a year? A tear rolled out of her eye and down the side of her face and he wiped it away with his thumb.

  “I never wanted you to go,” he said, his eyes unyielding, his heart pounding as hard as hers, just inches away. “I wish I had known all along why you left. I would have yelled at you.”

  “You’d never yell at me,” she said with a choked giggle. Another tear slid out but he didn’t wipe this one away.

  “Yes I would have,” he said. “I’ll disagree with you all the time, if that’s what you want.” His mouth turned up in a smile at the ridiculousness of that statement and she held onto him tightly.

  “I’m a little scared,” she admitted.

  “I want you all the time, forever,” he said, squeezing her shoulders. “I don’t know how to make you believe me.” He tried to roll off to the side but she grappled him with her legs, shaking her head and not letting him go.

  Things were jostling around in her mind, lining up and finding their places. A sense of calm came over her and she clung to the bit of understanding that she now had as surely as she clung to Sam. “The thing is,” she started, turning her face to the pillow to dry the last tear. “I probably won’t believe you sometimes. That’s just me. It’s okay for you to roll your eyes at me or yell. I-I want to be with you. All the time, forever. I do. But I can’t say I’ll never freak out again.” She smiled weakly and hoped he could live with that.

  He tipped his chin up to look at her, blinking slowly. “So long as you don’t leave again.”

  She shook her head, quite sure she wouldn’t leave again. What she had was too wonderful. She would fight for it from now on. Then she frowned. “Can I take a girl’s weekend when Mags is older?”

  He dropped his forehead back onto her chest and laughed. “You’re a nutter, you know that?”

  She nodded and wriggled underneath him. “Yes. I’m sorry about that,” she said.

  He looked back up at her, his eyes darkened and a mischievous slant to his lips. He shifted his weight, his hard length pressing against her and she smiled at him, relieved they were back on track.

  “All in, then?” he asked, sliding his body upward so that she felt the crisp hairs of his strong legs brush the inside of her thighs.

  “Oh my God, yes,” she said, closing her eyes.

  Chapter 11

  Evelyn lay in Sam’s arms, limp and sated. She should have been exhausted but instead felt invigorated, happy and calm, things she hadn’t felt in weeks. The room had grown darker as the afternoon faded into evening and Sam reached over and snapped on the bedside table lamp. He rolled onto his side and looked at her. When she saw all traces of tension and sadness were gone from him as well, she smiled contentedly.

  “You were wrong about the dog,” he said, tracing her jawline with his finger. I quite like him now. Why haven’t you brought him back yet?”

  “Well, Piper’s gotten really attached to him, and I hate that she’s so lonely without Lachlan. So, I guess Hoover’s her dog now.”

  Sam laughed and pulled her closer to him. “Good,” he said into her neck. “We’d never be able to take a holiday with him.”

  She pushed him away. “Of course we would. He would have just stayed with Piper.”

  “Ah, I don’t like to impose on people. Nobody really wants to babysit someone’s dog, no matter what they say.” He leaned up on his elbow and grinned down at her.

  “It’s not an imposition with Piper,” Evelyn said. “We’d do anything for each other. If I died she wouldn’t rest until you found someone else.”

  His eyes widened. “That’s weird, Evelyn,” he said, dropping a kiss on her nose to soften to words.

  “No, it isn’t, because that’s what I would have instructed her to do,” she said, rolling over and curling up under his arm. It felt so good to be close to him like this again, able to touch him and put her face against his chest. “So you better hope I don’t die, because she likes matchma
king.”

  “Christ, I’d be an empty shell if you died. I’d try to carry on for Magnus, but I’m sure it would be better if you lived.”

  She laughed at the odd turn their conversation had taken. “I’ll do my best,” she promised.

  Sam tipped her chin up and kissed her deeply. She relaxed into him, opening her mouth eagerly, completely ready for round two. His hand slid down her back and she pressed closer, murmuring happily and reaching down … when the doorbell rang. Genevieve had returned with Magnus.

  “Bloody hell,” Sam said. “We can’t ignore her, she’s got the baby.” Evelyn had never felt so torn in her life. Sam laughed at her and lightly smacked her bottom. “I’ll get him and get rid of her.”

  “Be nice,” she said as he hopped into a pair of track pants and pulled on a t-shirt.

  She glanced at the clock and saw it was much later than she thought. Magnus would be ready for a bottle and then probably pass out from all the excitement he’d had that day. She’d need to get him bathed and changed in a hurry or he’d melt down hard and then never get to sleep. With a wistful look at the rumpled sheets, she threw on her robe and waited until Sam said goodbye to his mom, then went to take the baby.

  She got him washed up and in his jammies, and she and Sam sat snuggled together on the couch while she gave him his bottle, her heart so full it was sure to burst. She glanced up at Sam and saw he was watching Magnus eat, a look of pure contentment on his face. He glanced at her and smiled.

  “I love you,” he said.

  She squeezed her eyes shut and nodded, too overwhelmed with emotion to speak. But he knew. She knew he did. Magnus finished the bottle and flung his head to the side, belching as loud as a grown man. She laughed and handed Sam the bottle so she could put Mags to bed.

  “You’re coming back out?” he asked.

  She leaned over and kissed him, holding Mags out for his goodnight kiss. “I’ll be out as soon as he’s asleep,” she said.