by welcome
and, how devastated I was by the development! I couldn"t bring myself to blame my lover
for he never wooed me on his own, why, it was I who tried to induce in him love for me
with my love. Well, I couldn"t blame myself either, for I believed it was no fault to fall in
love and thus trapped in a vacuum of hope, how I prayed for my lover to come and save
the day for me.
“Oh, how pathetic you would've been!” Chandra said moved no end. “Accursed be the
love that afflicted your life.”
“Oh, you don't realize that by cursing love you are cursing my lover,” she said, “I tell
you though I was hurt and cut up with him, still I didn't curse him for I knew he had a
heart of gold.”
“Thanks for showing me the trueness of love.”
“Well, with no way to hear his version and unable to dismiss Vasu"s allegation,” she
began recounting the poignant saga of her love. “it was a dilemma that wrenched my heart
so much that I felt I had a stroke. How I wished all these years that better I had died that
day, as I would"ve been saved of all that followed! Somehow, I can't make out how, a sense
of revenge was born from my sense of helplessness and I was seized with the idea of
hurting him by paying him back in the same coin.”
“Maybe it's in the nature of love that when scorned it becomes mundane to afflicts us in
human ways.”
“Oh, it could be true though it never occurred to me,” she said stoically, “otherwise why
did I do what I did. When Vasu proposed, I agreed out of spite but when he took me into
his embrace, I felt neither hope nor any despair and not even spite for the one who spurned
me, maybe having done the mischief it had left the scene, but when Vasu pressed for sex, I
gave in as though to acquire a weapon to hurt my lover. What an irony! Whatever, I had no
reason to deny Vasu, as I had no desire left my lover, why I felt like I had lost interest in my
life itself. Maybe to cement his position, Vasu never left my bed and I too didn"t push him
out of it as if I needed his sex to blunt my lover"s romanticism that came to haunt me even
though I remained stoic all the while.”
“Why blame Vasu for what he wrote there,” she continued after a pause. “When he was
about to come home for the summer recess, I became nervous while being steady with Vasu
and though I had surrendered to him, yet he was afraid of losing me to the one from whom
he had snatched me. Well, Vasu planned to put everything into his ears the moment he
landed and I knew he would be hurt but, surprisingly, I felt, I couldn"t care less. But the
day before he arrived, the thought of seeing him feel jilted wrenched my heart recalling
how I had frustrated him once before.”
She stopped as though she was going through that moments all again.
“Well,” she resumed, “that was owing to a silly misunderstanding, but though we
made it up, I held on to my girlfriend on purpose and as I prolonged the tease, he left in a
huff. While I invited him the next day, he coolly told me to fetch my friend for myself and I
told him I wouldn"t get from her what he had to give me. Oh, romantic it felt as he enjoyed
my comment and complimented me in kind! It"s so thrilling even as I recall that now. But
that was just a tease. Getting involved with another man was no joke. While I waited for
him in trepidation, he called me in exasperation and I managed to be with my father to
gain time for the encounter.”
As she began crying like a child at the loss of its favorite toy, Chandra's eyes too turned
moist. But composing herself she continued.
“Have you seen, Ave Kallu?” he asked me, after talking to my parents for a while.
“It"s a nice movie,” out of turn, my father answered for me. „We"ve all seen it."
“Do you think it's worth repeating?” he asked me again.
“Maybe,” I almost murmured
By the time he managed to find me alone, I prepared myself.
“Why that question?” I asked him tentatively.
“Don"t you know the answer?” he asked, sounding like he knew it as well.
“Vasu took me on a date,” I replied, looking for his reaction.
“How come?” he said affected by my betrayal.
“Why should it bother you?” I taunted him, feeling bitter.
“What do you mean by that?” he said puzzled.
“Anyway, you don"t love me, do you?”
“Who told you?” he said clearly on the defensive.
“Are you not in love with your classmate, whatever her name?”
Oh, having said that, how I hoped he would deny that but he said instead, “Is it Vasu
who told you?”
“How does it matter to you?” I said enjoying his predicament.
“I had a crush on her,” he said lovingly, “that was before you revealed your heart to me
and as your love opened my eyes, I lost my hear to you and closed my eyes on her.”
I was so stunned by what he said that I was unable to comprehend our situation. Oh,
how I regretted having jumped into the imposter's bed without giving my lover a fair
hearing. But then, didn"t Vasu"s idea to get even with my lover appealed to my jilted
mindset then? When I could see that it was to gain me that Vasu had spurred me on to err,
it was neither here nor there, well, by then, it was beyond redemption.
“Let bygones be bygones,” he said coming closer to me as I stood benumbed. „Let"s
make it up."
Maybe pulled by guilt, I stepped back involuntarily, leaving him dejected.
“It"s late anyway,” I said as if clarifying my rebuff.
“It"s never late in love,” he said trying to hold me.
“I don't love you any more,” I said resignedly, “and I"m not worthy of your love
anymore.”
Oh, how it wrenched me seeing his face turn ashen.
“I know you"re cut up with me,” he said, trying to persuade me, “Believe me, it was just
a crush on her, and nothing more than that.”
“Maybe, but I"ve given myself to Vasu,” I said helplessly, „and so I'll marry him.”
“Why do you hurt yourself to spite me,” he said in agony.
“When I was in love with you,” I said reminiscently, “I loved myself. You can't even
imagine how I imagined my life then. Now that I don"t love you, I don"t even love myself
and I"ve no interest left in life to bother about my fate. Nothing matters to me anymore and
I know nothing would change my attitude to life. Well, I"ve lost all, once and for all, and
that is what is there to my life now, believe it or not, but it"s true."
“I"m sorry Prema,” he said in pain, and left in anguish as I was hell-bent on pushing
myself into a life of nothingness.
Chandra was lost thinking that Prema and Sathya have an uncommon feel of love
beyond even its own impulse but as she began crying inconsolably, he was compelled to
hold her in a manner of offering his shoulder for her to cry over.
“Oh, if only I had not spurned him, maybe, I would've shed enough tears in his embrace
to let him wipe out my past with them,” she said as she withdrew herself from Chandra's
hold. “But it was not to be and what else could he have done as I closed my heart to him
even as he craved to get back into it? You don't know how I cursed myself that day for
having undone myself that I couldn"t ethically accept his love, which had been the goal
of
my life. I hated Vasu and I hated myself more so and I was tempted even to go back to him,
but how could I, after having fouled my soul and polluted my body? I fell down in my own
esteem, and suffered in Vasu"s embrace ever since. And so I became frigid to the charms of
life thereafter.”
“Wonder how did you let your sentiment sway to mar your life!”
“Maybe, that's the hold sentiment has on unexamined life,!” she said, “and placed in the
same position, I tell you, I'll keep sentiment at arms length. Well, when Vasu"s father
sought my hand for his son, my father was taken aback. Though my father didn"t make any
fuss, he swore against the match. When I tried to checkmate him by refusing to marry
another, my father forced a stalemate by restricting my movements. At last it took „him",
you know who I mean, to bring my father around by telling him that one can live with a
broken heart but it would be hard to carry on with a troubled conscience. Oh, how he
captured my feelings! When he told him I got too far with Vasu, my father married me off
in style befitting his status to begin my run of the mill.”
She paused as if to come out of her past disappointment freshened by her memory.
“True to my father"s prophecy,” she continued, “Vasu showed his true colours soon
enough by beginning to supplant my father"s money as if to improve my quality of life.
While my father gives in, thinking he has a cross to bear, Vasu believes that as the jungle
belongs to the lions and tigers, this world is for the rich and the powerful and it"s for the
smart to get rich by hook or by crook. That"s the man who finds me cold in bed, and you
need not be surprised about it.”
“Sorry for fishing in troubled waters,” said Chandra visibly upset. “Believe me, had I
known I would"ve sorted out with him myself.”
“Maybe, it"s good that you"ve alerted me,” she said thoughtfully. “Well, you should"ve
shut the door on him and be done with it. But still, I would've been left with a man who
tries to philander with my money. I think it serves him right to cut off at his source. It"s
time I left him.”
“Don"t act on the rebound,” he said concernedly, “as you did then.”
“Thanks for saying that,” she said. “I don"t want to cry over my father"s shoulders now.
As I told you, I spurned my lover on hearsay and messed up my life, and when I had the
chance to rectify the mistake, I let my sense of chastity ruin me. I should"ve known better
that woman"s character is sourced in her heart and not in her hymen. Oh, how vanity and
sentiment took turns to ruin my life! Now, let me apply my mind and see.”
“What of him?”
“Oh it is years since we last met,” she said reminiscently. “But I do hear about him now
and then.”
“Is he married?”
“Not when I last heard.”
“Why not get in touch with him?”
“What are you suggesting?”
“Why not make a real beginning?”
“Wouldn"t have his flame been doused by now?” she said as she sighed. “What's the
point in dreaming for its warmth then?”
“That"s true,” said Chandra sympathetically, “and it pays to be pragmatic.”
“Is it pragmatic for me to count on your affection?”
“Nithya"s included,” he said extending his hand. “You know how she loves you.
Getting to know your remarkable story she will empathize with you even more.”
“Thank you,” she said taking his hand, “but don"t fail to congratulate her for me, for her
great escape that was.”
“She might wish you would fare no less.”
“Let"s see what"s in store,” she said as Chandra got up to leave.
On his way back home, Chandra felt sorry for her lost love but just the same, he was
conscious about a new dawn in his heart for Prema. He couldn"t help hoping that she too
might feel the same way about him. When he narrated the operative part of „The Operation
Desert" to Nithya, she derived a peculiar sense of satisfaction associated with the feeling of
revenge. And they awaited the next move from Prema to checkmate the trespasser.
Poetic Justice
Ever since the countdown for the showdown with Vasu began, Nithya was feverish with
anticipation. The very thought that Prema was all set to desert Vasu portending a double
jeopardy for him pleased her, providing the cutting edge to her vengeance. As she was in
reverie at the Princely Pearls that evening, the ringing tone of telephone brought her back
into the environs. Going for the receiver, she wondered whether it was Prema on the line.
However, it was Chandra who called up to inform her that he was held up with some
work.
“How long would it be?”
“I can"t say,”
“If you can,” she said, “call on lawyer Sudha and find out the latest. Damn it, her line
seems to be dead.”
“Okay,” he said, “I"ll also see if Sathya has returned.”
After Chandra hung up, Nithya"s thoughts turned to Sathya.
“Whatever happened to him!” she thought as she recalled Chandra describe him as a
remarkable lover with a romantic face. Even as Nithya was seized with an urge to see
Sathya, Chandra was puzzled about his long absence.
Later, when Chandra was through with his work, as he reached Sathya's flat, he found it
locked to his disappointment but as he got back into his Fiat, to his delight, he saw Sathya
coming down the lane.
“I just rang up for you,” said Sathya going up to him, “and your wife told me I can
expect you.”
“I"ve come here thrice before looking for you and left a message every time,” said
Chandra, reprimanding him. “I was wondering what happened to you.”
“Once you hear me,” said Sathya enigmatically, “you"ll know.”
“Let"s go to my place,” said Chandra.
“Your wife has already called me for dinner on your behalf,” said Sathya pushing
Chandra into his dungeon, “and we shall move as I finish my tale.”
“Begin it then,” said Chandra as he sat down.
“If you remember,” said Sathya with a wry smile, “we last met here in the first week of
December. Shortly thereafter, I was shocked to know from Rajah, my long-time friend that
my father, well, he's a character all by himself, had put a private detective behind Kala.
Well, the report only confirmed what she had confessed to me, and naturally he was
enraged. Believing she would marry me and carry on with her lover all the same, he vowed
not to allow me to marry that bitch, as he called her. Hell-bent on bringing my affair to a
close, he pressurized Rajah to go to Madras and appraise her lover about what was cooking
on behind his back.”
“Oh God,” said Chandra, “it seems life never ceases to surprise you.”
“So it seems,” said Sathya and continued with his tale of surprises, “and sadly for me,
Rajah acted at my father's bidding and met her uncle and warned him that he was on the
verge of losing his woman. Well Rajah said that he thought it would be a good riddance for
me if her man reined her in. Though I felt ditched at that, I couldn"t fault my friend"s
intentions and that proved to be the turning point as I received a letter from her soon
stating that her 'uncle' rang her up to
enquire about her involvement with me and when she
told him about her intention to leave him and marry me, he air-dashed to mend his fences
with her. It seems he begged her not to leave him and agreed to solemnize their union at
the altar.”
“What a testing time it was for her love really!”
“Well, this unexpected twist to the tale placed her in a dilemma,” said Sathya, “and she
wasn"t prepared to tackle a like situation. Given her attachment to him and commitment to
me, she wrote that she was unable to decide what to do and which way to go. As she had
no heart to hurt him and had no mind to ditch me, she was at her wits" end. Nonplussed to
comprehend any solution, she wrote that she wished she were dead before she had to
choose between us. That was the sum and substance of her stance and I never felt as
hapless before.”
While Chandra was at a loss for any prompting, Sathya continued regardless.
“Gathering my wits I wrote to her appealing to her sense of fairness,” said Sathya. “I
questioned as to how she could go back on her word, leaving me in the lurch. I reminded
her that I had walked out on my family and compromised myself at the office and wouldn"t
I invite ridicule for her desertion? Though I pleaded for her understanding, from the tone of
her letter and the tenor of her life, I could realize which way the wind was blowing. When
she didn"t respond and as my emotions turned wayward, I went on writing to her
unceasingly, fretting and fuming alternately. But as she greeted me with stony silence, I
realized what it was like sitting under the Damocles' sword with a thin thread of hope
separating life and death. I wonder how I didn"t turn mad with my ordeal of that
fortnight.”
“Oh, shit,”
“When I received the post on New Year"s Eve,” said Chandra melancholically, “I
opened it with a premonition only to find a greeting card staring at my face. With my heart
in the mouth, I looked for an accompanying letter but to my dismay I found none. I could
see the writing on the wall scripted by her silence and I realized that she had decided to
hand me the wrong end of the stick. What a crass way for her to sign-off with someone who
loved her more than himself! Well, if she wanted to desert me, didn"t I deserve a farewell