by Sara Daniell
“You think it’s funny? Finn, we had no idea! If you didn’t want me to think the worst, you could’ve called!” I shoved his shoulder again.
He rubbed his shoulder and smirked. “Would you stop shoving my shoulder?”
I crossed my arms and huffed. “I can’t believe you’re smiling right now. And were you really at your uncle’s?”
He nodded. “Yes, Ellie. I was at my uncle’s. I feel terrible that I worried you and didn’t show up. I’m sorry.”
I stared up at him, letting out a heavy sigh and nodded. “Okay. Sorry for freaking out.”
“Am I still invited over?”
I laughed. “I guess so.”
Finn followed me to my house. When we got in, we saw Jane and Tryston sound asleep on the couch. And now that I knew Finn was okay, I was getting extremely tired.
I leaned against the counter while I watched Finn get a glass of water. I yawned, and he smiled at me over his shoulder.
“Sleepy?”
I nodded. “Yeah, sorry. I know we had planned on talking about stuff tonight, but I may have to go to bed.”
“How about we talk while I sit with you until you fall asleep?”
A sleepy smile spread across my face. “Okay.”
I went to the bathroom and changed into sweats and a hoodie. When I came into my room, Finn had my blankets pulled back and my pillow lying flat instead of propped up on the headboard. He was sitting on the edge of my bed with a huge smile on his face. He patted the spot next to him.
I put my dirty clothes in the hamper near my closet then climbed into bed. I went to cover myself, but Finn grabbed the covers before I could and covered me.
“You don’t have to do that, ya know,” I yawned again.
“Of course I do. You’re mine to spoil now.”
I wanted to tell him how much I loved hearing him call me his, but it was probably too soon. I didn’t want to scare him away by being creepy on our first official day of dating.
“Are you sure about this?” My eyes started drooping shut, but I forced them open to look at Finn.
He sat down on the bed next to me and started playing with my hair. It was a little strange at first for Finn to be so close and touching me, but it felt too perfect to question further. We fit somehow.
He chuckled quietly. “Sure about what?”
“Don’t play dumb.”
He smiled down at me. “If I wasn’t sure, I wouldn’t have written you that cheesy letter. Which I’m super embarrassed about, by the way. I wanted to ask you out face-to-face, but I also wanted to see that adorable smile you get when I do something dumb.”
My eyes closed, and I smiled.
“The letter was perfect. It was completely, 100% you. Don’t ever change.”
I felt his lips press gently against my temple. The warmth of them made my whole body tingle.
“Sleep tight, Ellie. I’ll see you in the morning.”
I felt the edge of the bed rise and knew he had gotten up. I snuggled deeper into my covers and pillow, falling right to sleep.
I WOKE UP AND STRETCHED before sitting up. I rubbed my eyes and looked at the time. It was almost noon. I could hear talking down the hall and Jane laughing. I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth and hair, and then went into the kitchen where Finn was busily cooking breakfast.
Everyone turned when they heard my footsteps on the wooden floor. I smiled. “Morning. Errr, I mean afternoon.”
Jane squealed and launched her opens arms at me. She hugged me tight. “Finally! You and Finn are finally a couple? You should’ve told me!” She hugged me tighter and then let me go.
I blushed and smiled at Finn who was grinning while he flipped the pancakes. “Yeah, I was going to tell you, but I wanted to wait until Finn was ready. Apparently, he was.”
Finn nodded. “I was the moment I asked you. I figured you would’ve told them already.” He looked at me over his shoulder and then went back to cooking.
I shrugged and smiled. I walked over to the counter next to Finn and leaned against it. “You didn’t tell me you could cook. This all looks amazing!”
“I’m full of surprises,” he said in a teasing tone and then motioned to the cabinet behind me. “Grab me a plate.”
I reached up to do that, causing the hem of my hoodie to rise. When I turned around to hand the plate to Finn, I caught him checking me out. I smiled and blushed a little.
“Here.”
He cleared his throat and looked at the plate. “Thanks.” He started putting pancakes on it.
We all sat down to eat when he was done cooking. Finn moved his chair until it was right next to mine. I smiled at him when he handed me the syrup.
“Ummm, you think that’s enough?” he asked, watching me drench my pancakes.
I laughed and added some more until I basically had pancake soup. I set the bottle down and scooted it toward him. “Now it’s enough.”
“That’s disgusting,” he chuckled.
I shrugged, got a huge forkful, and shoved it in my mouth. “Mmmm.” I swallowed and took a drink of my milk. “To each his own, Finn.”
He laughed. “I guess so.”
“So, the river?” Tryston asked Finn. “Is that still the plan?”
“Yeah, as long as the girls are up for it.” Finn looked at me and Jane.
I smiled and looked at Jane. “Sounds good to me.”
“It’s cold, but I’m all for it. Sounds like fun.” She kissed Tryston’s cheek when he put his arm around her shoulders.
I kept eating. The pancakes were heaven.
I GRABBED ONTO THE rope Finn and Tryston had hung from a tree branch. I paused. I loved this kind of shit. You know, the daring, thrill-seeking, heart-racing kind of shit that would get you hurt and possibly killed. I longed to jump out of an airplane, but I couldn’t bring myself to swing from a rope and hurl myself into the muddy river.
The truth was, I feared snakes. What if those nasty monsters were down there waiting to attack? I gripped the rope tighter. I could do this. They’d swim away. I started to swing and screamed, digging my heels into the mud to stop myself.
I looked at Jane, Finn, and Tryston who were cracking up. They were all shivering.
“I can’t!” I was laughing too.
“Come on! Yes, you can! What are you so afraid of?” Finn shouted from the water. “I’m in here! We all are. Just do it already!”
I nodded and backed up, holding the rope tightly. I took a few deep breaths, started to swing, but dragged my heels in the dirt again. They all started cracking up again. It wasn’t just the snakes that bothered me; it was also cold. Like 42 degrees cold and here we were, jumping into the river like a bunch of idiots.
“But there are snakes!” I shouted, looking over the edge of the riverbank.
“It’s winter, you idiot! They aren’t in here! Well, except the snakes that are freezing in mine and Finn’s pants!” Tryston said through laughter.
I started cracking up. Of course Tryston would say something like that. I looked at Finn when he started talking.
“Come on, Ellie. Just do it! We’re all in the water, and we’re fine. Cold, but fine.”
I bit my bottom lip. “Okay.”
I held the rope, walked back as far as I could go, then jumped up, pulled my knees to my chest, and screamed the entire way over the river. I let myself drop once I was far enough out and held my breath as I went under the freezing water.
I came up chattering as I swam toward Finn. Thankfully, the current wasn’t too bad. Once I made it to Finn, I planted my feet in the muddy bottom and held onto his arm to steady myself against the current.
“T-t-t-that wasn’t s-s-so bad,” I said through chattering teeth. “God, it’s c-c-cold!”
“L-let’s go b-b-back to the c-c-car!” Jane said.
We made our way out of the water and into my car. We cranked the heat. My car was going to be soaked, but I didn’t care. This was too much fun. Finn was driving because I was shivering s
o badly that I couldn’t.
We made it back to my house and all took turns changing into dry clothes. Afterwards, I put all of our wet stuff into the washing machine. It was getting dark outside, and Tryston was trying to find a movie for us all to watch.
“Want me to order pizza?” I asked, replying to my dad’s text that I was fine and hanging out with friends.
I looked up at Finn, Tryston, and Jane who were all nodding. I stepped into the hallway to order.
“It’ll be ready in twenty minutes, so in a few, I’ll go get it,” I said when I came back into the living room.
“I’ll come with,” Finn said immediately.
ON OUR WAY TO get the pizza, Finn reached over and held my hand for the first time. I moved my fingers to get a comfortable hold and smiled. I looked over at him as he turned up the radio. He smiled but kept his eyes on the road.
I looked at our hands and sighed contentedly. Holding Finn’s hand was more than just our skin touching and his bones tangled with mine. Finn made me feel cared for. I felt protected with him. He was one of the few people in my life right now that I trusted with my entire being, and as scary as that was for me because I knew the pain of someone breaking that trust, I believed he would never do anything to disappoint me.
We waited in line until it was our turn. I smiled at the girl behind the counter. She looked familiar, like someone I’d seen from school in Kerrville.
“Can I help you?” she asked, looking at Finn, and then at me.
“Yeah, order for Elena Johnson,” I smiled when Finn’s hand found mine again.
“Your total is $36.87. Cash or credit?”
“Cas—”
“I’ll pay with a debit card,” Finn said, interrupting me.
I scrunched my nose. “No, I’ll pay.”
“No.” He laughed and tried to hand the cashier his card, but I grabbed it before she could take it.
I held it behind my back while Finn tried to get it from me. We were both laughing and holding up the line, but I didn’t care. I was paying for it, dammit. I stuck his card down my shirt, in my bra. He bit his lip and shook his head.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he said with a smirk.
I stuck my tongue out at him and handed the girl some cash.
“You’re a piece of work, Ellie.” He took the pizza boxes when the cashier handed them to him, and we headed back out to my car.
Finn took me through Sonic to get us all Route 44 drinks, because they were the best and because he was still mad that I’d paid for the pizza. He said it was the least he could do. On our way back to my house, Finn turned down the radio and looked at me for a second before looking back at the road.
“You haven’t changed your mind about us, have you?”
I frowned at him. “No way! Why would you think that?”
He laughed. “I’m just making sure.”
“Okay, but why do you need to make sure?”
His lips formed a cocky grin, which I found incredibly sexy. “Because, Ellie, I plan on spoiling the hell out of you, kissing you like crazy, and being the best damn thing that has ever happened to you. But before I pour my whole self into this relationship, I just want to make sure you’re ready.”
My heart sped up, and my cheeks felt warm. “I am.”
He laughed. “Good.”
WE MADE IT BACK to my house, but as soon as we walked in, we walked right back out. Tryston and Jane were in the middle of a hot make-out session on my couch. Finn and I sat in my driveway and put the pizza box in between us.
“Can’t those two save that for when we’re not all together? It’s awkward.” Finn opened the pizza box and handed me a slice.
“Thanks.” I took it and smiled before taking a bite. “And apparently they can’t.” I laughed.
“Apparently.” He smiled and took a bite of his pizza.
“So, I guess the movie is out. How long should we stay out here?”
He shrugged. “Forever.”
We both laughed.
“Do you have to go home tonight?” I asked him and took a drink.
“Sadly, yeah. My mom will freak out. Speaking of my mom, she wants to meet you. I don’t really know how you two have never met, since we’ve been friends for a while now.”
I smiled, but it faded. I was excited about meeting his parents, but how could I ever introduce him to mine? My family was so dysfunctional, and I didn’t want to scare him away. My smile returned when I looked at him.
“I’d love to meet your parents,” I answered before taking another bite.
“My step-dad is okay. You have to get used to him. He’s really loud and says whatever he’s thinking. My real dad is quiet, but he’s nice. And my mom… Well, I’m a momma’s boy, so she gets crazy when it comes to me and my brother.”
“Your brother?” How have I known Finn all this time but never knew he had a brother?
“Yeah. Tyler. He’s off at college and has been for the past two years. We don’t really talk much. We lack things in common, and he’s busy with his own life.”
I laughed coldly. “Sounds like me and my brother.”
“Wait, you have a brother too?”
I nodded. Guess we’d never shared this information with each other. Neither of us ever talked about our family. I wondered if his was as dysfunctional as mine.
“His name is Kyle. He moved about a year before my parents got a divorce. My grandpa is sick, and he moved to help him.”
I left out the part where he and my mom fought constantly. It was so bad that finally, he, my mom, and Dad thought it’d be best if he moved in with Grandpa. Grandpa was sick and did need help, so it was a win-win situation for everyone. Everyone except for me. I missed Kyle, even if all we did was fight like siblings do. And now we never talked. He just left and forgot about me.
“You’re sad,” Finn said, stating the obvious.
“It’s no big deal. I’m okay. Really. Things don’t have to be perfect all the time. It’s life. I just wish things could calm down and stop getting worse.” That was the first time I semi-opened up about my personal life with Finn. He knew about Channing, but aside from that, there were deeper wounds I’d probably never bare to with. The sting of everything hurt so badly that I’d never want Finn to ever have to hurt for me. I liked that he didn’t know everything. I could just be me without all of the broken pieces around him.
“What do you mean?”
I shrugged and closed the pizza box. I pulled my jacket tighter around me and put my hands in my pockets after adjusting the beanie on my head.
“Don’t really want to talk about it. Forget I said what I did. Please?”
He nodded. “Okay, but if you ever want to talk about it I—”
“I don’t,” I said quickly cutting him off.
His forehead creased as he looked at me. “But if you ever do, I’m here.”
“I know.”
We both turned when we heard the door open. Jane and Tryston came out, both blushing.
“Sorry you walked in on that. We just got… Ummm… Caught up in the moment,” Jane giggled.
Tryston put his arm around her shoulders and smiled. “Where’s the pizza?”
Finn and I both looked at the pizza box between us and then back at them. Finn smiled at me as Tryston and Jane sat down with us on the concrete and started eating. We spent the next few hours in the cold night air laughing and talking about our future plans after high school. Jane wanted to be a meteorologist; Tryston had no idea, Finn a welder, and I wanted to be a teacher.
We all swore to keep in touch after graduation, no matter the distance. But I knew how things changed. We all did. We couldn’t promise anything. But tonight, we did, and tonight was all that mattered. We could worry about the future later.
BEING AT HOME WAS getting harder than ever. I spent a lot of time at the library doing homework, picked up more hours at work, and was with Finn when he wasn’t working, which was almost never lately. Finn and I had been d
ating for three weeks, but it didn’t feel like it. We talked at school and on the phone, but since that night at my house with the pizza, we hadn’t had any alone time together. We hadn’t even kissed yet.
Thankfully, tonight Finn and I were going on a real date. Just us. I had just finished getting ready and was walking out of the bathroom when Nancy came down the hall. I didn’t talk to her anymore. She was always unhappy, and I didn’t have the patience for her bickering. I avoided her until moments like this when I had to look at her to keep from running into her.
“Where do you think you’re going?” she snapped, standing in my way.
“Out with Finn. I already talked to Dad. He knows.”
“I make decisions in this house too!” she yelled.
“Okay, but then you need to talk to my dad about that. If he tells me I can do something, I’m not going to check in with you to make sure it’s okay.”
She grabbed the front of my shirt and slammed me back against the wood paneling. “What’d you say, little bitch?” Her nose was almost touching mine.
I looked away from her and didn’t say anything. You had to be careful with Nancy. She was a walking fuse, and even the tiniest spark could set off.
She shook my body and slammed me back against the paneling again. “Speak, you fucking piece of shit!”
I closed my eyes and willed back the tears. She was hurting me, but I refused to let it show. “Let. Go,” I pleaded through my teeth.
She shoved me into the floor, pressing both of her hands down on my shoulders, and started to kick me, but I scrambled across the floor and got out of the way before her foot could connect with my ribs. I screamed when she grabbed my hair and slammed my face against the wall. She knelt down beside me, holding the back of my hair, and put her face directly in front of mine.
“I could kill you right fucking now! Right fucking now, Elena!”
“Do it! I dare you!” I screamed back.
She let go and reared back to hit me, but I got to my feet and took off for the living room where my purse and keys were. She grabbed the back of my jacket, and I let my arms go limp so I could get out of it. I wiggled until I was free, leaving her with only my jacket in her hands. I grabbed my purse quickly and ran out of the house.