Anything Goes on a Friday Night

by Sara Daniell

  I knew as soon as a tear fell down Dad’s cheek. I closed my eyes and waited for it.

  “I’ll look for the soonest flight we can get.”

  No. I was going to call him yesterday and forgot. Tears sprang from my eyes. I couldn’t look to Dad for comfort, and he damn sure couldn’t look to me. We were right beside one another but so far apart.

  “Ellie, Grandpa passed away a few minutes ago,” Dad said quietly. This was no shocker. We knew it was coming.

  I nodded, wiped my eyes, and ran for the door. I needed Finn. I looked at the time. He would be just getting off work. I had to be at work in an hour. There was no way I could work tonight.

  I MADE IT JUST in time. Finn was locking up. I parked and didn’t bother to cut off the engine. I ran to Finn and flung myself into his arms. He held me without speaking. I calmed down, and Finn mentioned our spot at the river. I agreed, and we went in his truck after I got my keys and purse from my car.

  “I’m so sorry, Ellie,” Finn said after I told him my grandpa died.

  “It’s life. I know that. But it sucks. We were so close.”

  He parked at our spot, backing his truck right up to the edge. We cuddled in the back. I never wanted him to let go. His fingers were laced with mine, and my back was to his chest. Our legs were tangled with each other’s, and his chin was resting on my shoulder. Every few seconds he’d press his lips gently to my cheek.

  “Dad and I got into a fight right before my brother called.”

  “About?”

  “Us. He’s not happy that you’re coming with me to California.”

  Finn didn’t answer. I heard him swallow hard. I turned so I could face him. “Finn?”

  His forehead creased with worry. He looked a little pale.

  “Finn?” I said again but a little louder this time.

  “My welding teacher called me earlier.”

  “And? God, Finn, you’re scaring me! Why do you look like you’re going to throw up or have a panic attack?”

  His eyes went to mine. “There’s a waiting list. Classes are full, and it’s a year waiting period.”

  “No.” I couldn’t handle this news tonight. Why was he telling me now? Not now!

  I got off the truck and started pacing in front of it. I needed a cigarette and didn’t have one. I started chewing on my nails instead. Tears were streaming down my face. I was already accepted to Stanford and had turned down the other colleges. I’d already bought books for the summer classes. I already had a part-time job lined up at a Maurice’s clothing store. I already had a dorm room I’d stay in for the summer until Finn moved up there in the fall, and we got an apartment together. We had it figured out!

  Finn stood, leaning against the hood of his truck with his hands in his pockets. He watched me pace. When I ran out of ideas on how we could make this work, I stopped and looked at him.

  A year?

  I couldn’t spend an entire year without him.

  I already knew what he was going to say. He’d tell me we’d make it work. But so much could change in a year. I couldn’t stand the thought of all of the things that could happen in 365 days. I shook my head at him. I couldn’t accept this.

  I walked over and stood in front of him.

  “What if I get out of the dorm, and we just get an apartment together?”

  He looked at his feet and shook his head. “Ellie…”

  “What? It could work! Couldn’t it? We could get jobs and—”

  “And starve?” he shouted. I jumped a little.

  I frowned and shook my head. “No. We would have jobs and—”

  “And no job would pay us well enough to survive! You’d be in classes, and I’d work, but that still wouldn’t be enough. I looked, Ellie. I researched apartments and the cost of living there, and if I thought it was a possibility, you know I’d go!”

  I didn’t understand. “What is the difference in now and you coming in a year?”

  “We can both get jobs and save our money for the year we are apart. We have a year to figure out everything instead of five weeks.”

  “I’ll stay here. I’ll stay, Finn!” All he had to do was say the words, and I’d throw the idea of Stanford away. I’d do that for him.

  As he got closer to me, I realized he had his own tears falling down his cheeks. It crushed me to see him hurting too. We only had five weeks left with each other. Five. That was it.

  He took off his ballcap and ran his fingers through his hair. He put it back on his head and looked at me. “I won’t let you.”

  I closed my eyes and let out a defeated sigh. “A whole year without you?”

  “If we’re meant to work out, we will.”

  I laughed coldly and shook my head as tears fell. I wiped my eyes and crossed my arms in front of my chest. “I leave in five weeks.”

  “I’m well aware.”

  “Don’t hurt me. Please, don’t. Wait for me, Finn. Channing nearly killed me, and then you at prom. I—” I couldn’t finish my sentence. I blinked, and more tears fell.

  He moved until his body was pressed against mine, and he wrapped his arms around me, holding my head to his chest. “I will never hurt you like that again. We’ll be together a year from now and forever after that.”

  “Finn?”

  “What?” his voice broke.

  “Will you…” I couldn’t believe what I was about to ask, but I wanted it more than anything. I needed him.

  “Will I what?”

  “Make love to me?” I asked so quietly I wasn’t sure he heard me.

  “Ellie, you know that I can’t, because you said—”

  “I know what I said.”

  I kept my eyes on his, both of us crying, and stepped out of his embrace. I pulled my shirt off. I let it slip from my fingertips. I reached behind my back and unhooked my bra.

  “What are you doing?” his voice came out strained.

  I didn’t answer. I kept my eyes on his and slowly slid the straps off my shoulders until my chest was fully exposed. I let the bra fall to the ground. I was just about to start on my jeans when Finn grabbed my hand.

  “Please, don’t stop me. I want this. I want you, Finn.”

  “But—”

  “No buts. Please.”

  His lips pressed against mine, parting them with his tongue. The kiss, his hands all over my body, it felt like I was floating. The clothes were gone so fast, I don’t even remember who took off what. I was just happy they were finally off.

  Finn grabbed my thighs and lifted me until I was wedged securely between him and his truck. He put my legs around his waist. We lost ourselves to each other that night, and nothing else mattered. Finn Kerr could leave me tomorrow, and I wouldn’t regret a damn thing. Not in a million years.

  I LOOKED AT MY CELL phone and then back at the dirt road. Finn should have been driving down it over twenty minutes ago. I called him for the fourth time. No answer.

  I was just about to get in my car to go look for him when I finally heard tires on gravel. I shut my door and looked at the headlights shining through the trees. I didn’t want to be upset, but I was. We had two weeks left and promised each other we’d make every single day count up until I had to leave. Being late was not a part of the agreement. I folded my arms in front of my chest and tapped my foot as he parked.

  He got out of the truck and laughed when he saw me. “My phone is dead, and I had no charger.”

  “You could’ve used the shop phone.”

  “I know, but I got super busy. I’m here, and I’m sorry. I had to go do something, and that’s why I’m late.”

  He had to go do something? Horrible excuse.

  “And I’m just supposed to be okay with that response?”

  His forehead creased. “I’m here.”

  “You’re late! I was worried! We only have two weeks left, Finn! I’m not okay missing out on any time with you!”

  He started laughing.

  “Why are you laughing? This isn’t funny.”
>
  “Because you’re overreacting. It was twenty minutes, Ellie. I’m sorry.”

  I started laughing too. I was being ridiculous. “Well, now I get an extra twenty minutes with you tonight before we go home.”

  He kissed my forehead. “Deal.”

  “What did you have to do that made you late?”

  He smiled. “Can’t tell you yet.”

  I raised a brow. “And why not?”

  “Because the timing has to be right. You’re upset with me, so right now I can’t tell you.”

  “I’m fine now.”

  “Liar,” he walked to his truck and put the tailgate down. He sat down and patted the spot next to him.

  I sat down and laid my head on his shoulder. His hand found mine, and our fingers wove together. “I’m going to miss you. I don’t want to leave.”

  He laid his head on mine. “I don’t want you to leave, but you have to. This is going to be great for you.”

  “What if you find someone else while I’m gone?”

  I sat up after he did. He shook his head and cupped my face in his hands. He kissed me softly. “No way.”

  “But how can you be sure? A year is a long time, Finn. I’ll be gone, and there will be girls, pretty girls, and they’ll probably be a lot cooler than me. And—” his lips and tongue interrupted me. My lips spread into a smile, making it impossible to keep kissing him.

  “Marry me,” he whispered against my mouth. His lips trailed across my cheek and just below my ear. “Marry me, Elena,” he breathed against my ear.

  My smile faded. “What?”

  His eyes found mine. He lifted my hand, and with his free hand he took a ring out of his jean pocket. A ring. A silver, square cut diamond with two rows of six smaller ones on either side of it. My mouth fell open.

  “Finn,” I breathed out. “You’re serious?”

  He slid the ring onto my finger and kissed the top of my hand. “Yes or no?”

  A smile as big as Texas spread across my lips. “Yes.”

  “Yes?”

  I nodded, and his lips were back on mine.

  “Is this what you were doing tonight?”

  He kissed me again before answering. “Yeah. I was picking up the ring, and it took longer than I thought it would.”

  I looked down at the ring on my finger. “Does my dad know?”

  “No, I didn’t ask him yet. I didn’t know if you’d want me to. But my parents do, and they’re really excited for us. They can’t wait to get to know you better.”

  For a moment, I wished he had asked my dad, but the reality was he couldn’t. I’d tell him eventually. “No, it’s okay. I’ll tell him. So, do we set a date or what? We’re eighteen and engaged. I don’t know what to do now.” I laughed.

  “We wait until it feels right to set a date. I just need you to know that I’m keeping you. There is no other girl that could possibly ever get my attention while you’re gone. One little year. We can do this.”

  One year.

  365 days without him.

  “Okay.” I looked at him and smiled. “I love you, and thank you for this.”

  “I love you too.”

  “Your family really wants to get to know me better? I’m kind of shocked. I don’t feel like I’ve left the best impression on them.”

  He smiled reassuringly. “They really do. And even if they didn’t, I don’t need their approval to love you.”

  I smiled and looked down at the ring. “We’re crazy aren’t we?”

  “Yeah, but I think you have to be to embrace this love thing. It’s the strangest and most exhilarating feeling in the entire world. I think we’ve found something most don’t. We’re lucky.”

  My eyes found his, and if eyes could smile, his were definitely cheesing hardcore.

  “YOU’VE LOST YOUR MIND!” Dad yelled, pacing the perimeter of the living room. “And what kind of man is Finn, not even asking your father?”

  “Father? You’ve been anything but that for some time now! You aren’t very approachable, Dad!” I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth, even though it was the truth. I stood from the couch when Dad stopped, and his expression turned from anger to hurt. “Dad, I shouldn’t have said that.”

  “No, you should have. You’re right.” He looked at me and then inhaled and exhaled heavily. “Are you sure you want to do this? You’re going to college, and there will be so many opportunities, Elena. I’m not sure I like the thought of you being tied down to Finn when he’s here.”

  “You don’t have to like the idea, Dad. It’s my decision. My life. And we aren’t setting a date yet. We could stay engaged for years before we ever get married.”

  He walked over to the couch and sat down. “Well, I guess a congratulations are in order.”

  I sat next to him. I hated the way I felt when I was around my dad now. I used to be so close to him, and now I felt like I barely knew him. “Thanks. I’ll let you tell Nancy.”

  “She wants to change. You know that, right? She was talking to me last night about getting help and seeing someone who can help her be a better person. I love her, Ellie. I know you don’t understand it, but when you love someone, you love them through all of the hard times.”

  “Then why did you leave Mom?”

  “I loved your mom once upon a time, and I fell out of love with your mom. Things became so hard with her. It was like we were playing a game of charades. I couldn’t even be myself around her anymore. And then I met Nancy and was reminded of what it felt like to love again. I don’t expect you to understand it or ever forgive me for all I’ve done, but I hope that you can one day.” He put his arm around my shoulders and gave me a squeeze. “I love you, Sweetie.”

  “I love you too, Dad. I hope one day I can understand all of this too.”

  “Invite Finn over for dinner tonight. It’ll be just me; Nancy works the night shift.”

  I wasn’t sure that’d be a good idea. There was So. Much. Tension. But it would be unfair if I said no. Dad and Finn needed to get to know one another. Aside from all of the bullshit with Dad and Nancy, it was the right thing to do.

  I nodded. “Okay, I’ll tell him.” I hugged him before standing. “I’m going to wash my car. Need anything while I’m out?”

  “No, just going to rest. It’s rare I have a Saturday off.”

  “Okay.”

  I grabbed my purse and left the house.

  THE CAR WASH WAS broken in Kerrville, and since it was the only one, I had to go to Fredericksburg. I was bent over vacuuming the floorboard when I felt my door close slightly on me.

  Damn wind.

  I continued vacuuming when the door did it again. I stood to open it all the way again when I saw that it wasn’t the wind. It was Channing. Boy, did he has some nerve.

  He smiled. “Hey.”

  “Channing, what are you doing? You can’t keep showing up like this. It’s not okay.”

  “I was driving by and saw you. I wanted to come apologize for that night at Alyssa’s. I was being stupid. Hell, I’ve been stupid. You’re right, Ellie. I have to stop doing this. I have to move on. But before I can, I need closure. I just need to sit down and talk to you without you yelling at me and pushing me away. Please, let me give you a proper apology, and I promise after you do, I’ll leave you alone forever.”

  I cocked a brow. “Promise?”

  He made an X over his heart with his index finger. “Cross my heart.”

  I looked around and saw familiar faces. I didn’t want to do this here. “Can we go somewhere else?”

  “Yeah, we can take my truck.”

  I shook my head. “No, I’ll follow you.”

  He chuckled. “Okay.”

  We got in our vehicles, and I followed him out to his house. No one was there, as expected. I got out of my car. Channing started to go inside the house, but I stopped him by grabbing his arm.

  He pulled his key back and looked at me. I shook my head and said, “No. We need to stay out here, keepin
g a distance between us.”

  I was over Channing, but you just couldn’t shake your first love. I trusted myself, but I didn’t trust him, and this was already causing my emotions to spiral out of control. Being too close would make it worse.

  He put the keys back in his pocket and walked to his truck. He put the tailgate down and sat on it. I stayed standing. His eyes went from my head all the way down to my toes. He still looked at me the same, but by the disappointment in his eyes when they reached mine, he saw that I didn’t look at him the same anymore.

  “You love him, don’t you?”

  I nodded. “I do.”

  His eyes fell to the ring on my finger. “Oh God, baby. Please tell me that’s not what I think it is.”

  “Don’t call me that, and yes, it is. He proposed last night.”

  Channing sneered and gave a condescending snort. “Wow. Have you really thought about this? Aren’t you leaving for Stanford soon?”

  “I thought we were here so you could apologize, Channing.”

  “Right.” He rubbed his forehead. “Sorry. It took me by surprise, that’s all.”

  “I’m happy. Really happy.”

  “I’m happy that you’re happy. I just wish you were happy with me. We were getting so serious, and it scared me a little. In my mind, I thought I needed to act like a teenager instead of being so serious. I never once stopped and thought about how it would affect you. I was such a horrible boyfriend. I learned from it, though. One day, I’ll find someone, and I’ll love them right.”

  My eyes got watery. Channing would always be my first love. We had such good times together. Losing him was like a death. One minute he was in my life every single day, and then he wasn’t. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss him. But I also knew how toxic it would be to let him back into my life. Closure. This is what this was. When we parted ways this final time, we’d have the closure we both needed.

  “Did you decide on a college?”

  “Yeah. I’m going to Fort Valley in Georgia. I’m going on a baseball scholarship.”

  I smiled. “That’s great. And how did you know I was going to Stanford?”

  “Alyssa,” we said in unison and both laughed.