Trouble in Paradise

by Brown, Deborah

“I’m sure they’re keeping you overnight,” Zach said.

  CHAPTER 37

  “Take me by The Cottages please.”

  Zach clenched his jaw. “I don’t know what you had on that stupid doctor that he let you leave the hospital, but I’m taking you home and you’re staying there.” He swerved to miss a pothole.

  “Slow down a little! I didn’t cheat death to die in a car accident.” I stuck my chin out. “If you don’t take me, then I’ll get there on my own. Dr. A said I didn’t have any permanent damage, broken bones or anything else. Said my body would force me to take it easy because everything I did would be painful.”

  “Don’t go all pouty; it only irritates me,” Zach said, scowling. “Why can’t this wait until tomorrow? Kibble hasn’t been hauled away yet.”

  “A shooting and a dead body are bad for business. I need to make sure the guests aren’t freaking out. I thought maybe a gift card to a local restaurant for each of them would be a good way to say sorry for the inconvenience.”

  Zach shook his head. “That’s your idea? Dead man on the property and you come up with food.”

  “Do you have a better one?” He pulled into The Cottages driveway and parked next to my SUV. No one was hanging around like I thought. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

  “You’re only here because I want to know what’s going on myself. You will take it easy and you’re not staying long. Got it?” Zach helped me out of his SUV. I winced at every step.

  “I told you so,” Mother said to Zach, coming out of the office. “Damn I should’ve had money on this. I’m sorry I didn’t shoot him when I first had the chance.” Mother got teary. “Can’t you ever stay out of trouble?”

  “I’m so happy to see you.” I laid my head on her shoulder. “I swear to you, everything got ugly so fast. I pulled my Glock, but Kibble anticipated that move.”

  “Come on, sit over here in the barbeque area where you can see everyone coming and going. I had Brad pull a chaise over from the pool; you can put your feet up.”

  Zach’s phone rang. “Damn, I have to go check this out. I’ll be back.” He said to Mother, “If she moves, you call me.” Kissing the top of my head.

  A warm breeze blew across the Gulf and I wrapped my arms across my chest. I felt like shouting, “Hey I’m alive!” I wanted to run down the beach, jump in the waves and feel the salty water run down my legs.

  “Mother, before I sit, I need to check on the guests; make sure they’re not going to cut and run and spread bad reviews.”

  “Your mother took care of everything,” she said, brushing my hair back. “Brad blocked the view of the body with his car and then I went door to door, schmoozing with everyone. The Rashleigh’s from the UK thought it was very exciting. Do you know he wears a skirt when he’s tipped a few?”

  Miss January tottered up. “Bet he’s in hell already,” she cackled. “Miserable bastard. Do you suppose there will be free liquor at the funeral?”

  “I’m happy to see you out and about,” I told her. She looked sober, which surprised me and probably her as well.

  “I need to mooch some cigarettes,” Miss January said, making puffing sounds with her lips. “Liquor store doesn’t deliver until later this afternoon.” She waved. “Got to feed Kitty. Happy you’re not dead.”

  “Kibble!” Barbie screeched his name. His body, encased in a body bag, was on a stretcher being wheeled towards the coroner’s van. Barbie threw herself across the stretcher howling and crying.

  “I need to talk to Kevin,” I said to Mother. “Before the widow runs off.”

  Kevin pulled Barbie off Kibble. She threw herself in his arms and sobbed uncontrollably. Angie stood, oddly calm in the doorway, holding Kibble Junior.

  I rolled my eyes. “Kevin’s being awfully nice to the widow.”

  “Have you seen enough?” Mother asked. “Time for you to go home.”

  “I want my cell phone back and my Glock that Kibble kicked under the dryer. I’m not leaving until I talk to Kevin.”

  “You’re going home whether you like it or not,” Mother admonished as she went for reinforcement.

  A black SUV with tinted windows pulled into the driveway. Harder stepped out. He must have gone shopping; he traded in his mom jeans for black linen shorts. His tan legs surprised me. I would’ve bet they were putrid color.

  “You look like crap,” Harder handed me the most gorgeous bouquet of pink hydrangeas.

  “These are beautiful.” I leaned forward. “I’m happy to see you,” I whispered.

  “None of that crying crap. Sorry we weren’t on to Shiner before he did this to you.” Harder held out his arm. “You can wipe your eyes on my sleeve but not your nose.”

  Suddenly, my adrenaline rush took a crash, leaving me exhausted. “Take me home. I hate to admit it but I can barely sit here a moment longer. I’ve been waiting for Kevin but I’d rather tell you what I found out. You’re just the tough ass this case needs.”

  Harder helped me off the chaise. Turns out getting my ass kicked made me tired.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” Mother rushed back across the driveway.

  “Tell her I’m under arrest,” I whispered.

  He looked at me, a slight smile at the corners of his mouth. “I need to question Madison. She consented for me to do it while I drive her home.”

  “Do it tomorrow,” Mother barked and put her hands on her hips.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll get her home, no detours,” Harder said.

  “I’ll meet you back at the house,” I said to Mother. “Where’s Brad?” I asked.

  “He’s helping Kevin with… uh things.” Mother hugged me. “I don’t like this,” she said in my ear.

  * * *

  “What have you got for me, girlie?” Harder drove along the coastal highway sticking to the speed limit, unlike last time.

  “In addition to Cosmo, Kibble says he killed a man named Batty. Do you remember a torso washing up on shore five years ago?”

  “That was a gruesome find. Poor bastard; never really figured out exactly what happened. No family to report him missing, so it took a while to identify him.”

  “Kibble told me he took him out on his fishing boat, pushed him over alive and conscious, knowing full well he couldn’t swim.” I had empathy for Harder; his job was all about dead people and chasing killers.

  “Did he happen to brag about why he killed these two men? I’d like to know what his plans were for you.”

  I shook my head. “Have you met Barbie Shiner?” My brain wasn’t as scrambled as I thought. I remembered everything the dead Kibble had said and related the details. “Barbie set up Cosmo to die. The person to ask is Angie; she would know the truth. Since the Shiners moved in, whenever Kibble goes fishing, Angie never leaves Barbie’s side. Barbie’s slippery and will try to go one on one with you, but Angie wouldn’t last five minutes under your scrutiny.”

  “I’ll bring Angie in, threaten her with a possible first degree murder charge and spell out that whoever talks first, walks. I’ll need more corroboration than your conversation with a dead man. If I get the info I need to make a case, let a Florida jury decide Barbie’s fate. We have a ninety-five percent conviction rate. If she set this up, she’s guilty of murder and she will get convicted.”

  “Barbie’s manipulative and used to getting her own way,” I warned.

  Harder pulled in my driveway, next to Fab’s car.

  “I heard you pulled a shotgun on Brick,” Harder said, looking amused.

  “I’ll need to call my lawyer before answering any questions.”

  “Don’t worry. Brick’s not pressing charges. Would be a black mark on his macho image. A jury would hear about the kid and then the dogs and they’d put him in jail. I told him if it was me, I’d have shot his nuts off.”

  Fab ran out of the house and jerked the car door open. “You promised to stay out of trouble. Look at you! Damn good thing that bastard Kibble is dead.”

  “If Madi
son cries again, I’m arresting you, Merceau,” Harder told Fab.

  “What are you doing back early?” I tried to smile but it hurt.

  “Get out of his crappy ride and I’ll help you in the house.” Fab held her hand out, helping me out of his SUV. “Didier drives faster than I do.”

  No love between these two. Fab had been a person of interest in one of Harder’s cases and she successfully eluded him until the case was solved. “Would you like to come in, detective?” I asked.

  “No he would not. Don’t exploit her injuries.” Fab stared coldly at Harder.

  “Thank you for asking. I’ll be in touch. Watch your back until we get Barbie into custody.” Harder flashed his dog smile. “I look forward to the day when I can arrest you, Miss Merceau.”

  I grabbed Fab’s hand just as she bent her elbow. “Don’t give him the finger.”

  Fab, to my surprise, didn’t kick Harder’s door closed. “Zach called but claimed not to know very much. I want to hear every word.” We walked into the house together.

  “Promise if anything ever happens to me, you’ll take care of Jazz. He already loves you.”

  “Stop with that,” Fab said. “I would’ve tracked down that dirtbag, he wouldn’t have died for days. I’ll help you upstairs.”

  “The couch is fine and I want my Beretta to shove under the cushions just in case.” I was beyond grateful to be home, holding Jazz.

  CHAPTER 38

  The sun shone brightly through the bedroom window. I stacked several pillows up against the headboard, and leaned back, so I could see all of my tropical flowers down below. Jazz lay next to me.

  Fab opened the door. “Are you going to come out of your bedroom?”

  “I feel safe up here. I keep reliving that moment when I reached for my gun, Kibble kicked it out of my hand and, in slow motion, it slid under the dryer, out of reach.”

  Fab sat on the bed. “Reality check: you’re at a big disadvantage if someone is planning to kill you and you don’t get a heads up. You can’t walk around with a gun in your hand all day.”

  “I’ve been thinking. Don’t roll your eyes at me. Thanks for offering to kill Kibble in the slowest possible way. I can’t promise to torture someone on your behalf but I have connections.”

  Fab laughed. “Anyone ever tell you you’re crazy?”

  “Not as much, since word has gotten around that I pack and not afraid to pull the trigger.”

  “Your house is full of family, and folks close enough to be family. It’s my job to get you to come downstairs. You can’t make me look bad.” Fab opened my closet and pulled out one of favorite tropical print skirts, and a green t-shirt, laying them on the bed. “Party time.”

  “Mother is rubbing off on you.” I had ignored everyone for a week; time to get over being scared of a dead man.

  “You’ve got people cluttering up the place. The sooner you make an appearance, the sooner they get the hell out. Madeline said you’re to come downstairs and have a good time or at least put on one hell of an act.”

  “Tell them I have something contagious.” I coughed and sniffed.

  “That’s so lame and beneath your story telling skills. You need to bite the hair of the dog. Besides I need your P. I. Jane skills on a new case.”

  I got out of bed and exchanged sweat pants for the clothes Fab picked out. “Now that’s a big fat lie unless it has to do with dead people or pets. We don’t even have a name for our business,” I said.

  “The hell with that; we have a card.” Fab pulled one out of her pocket. “I need you to be the lookout. Another car retrieval job.”

  “Those are fun. I like legal auto theft, even though we’re one for two.” I paused. “Wait, is this another Brick job?” Fab’s face said that it was. “Ok, on one condition.”

  “Now who needs lessons in friendship?” Fab’s hands on her hips. “What?”

  “Teach me to hotwire a car.”

  Fab shook her head. “I’m more afraid of Madeline than you, so no and no.”

  “We’ll see,” I said smugly. “Who else are you going to get to help you on this job of yours?”

  “Put on your happy face and let’s go mingle.”

  CHAPTER 39

  From the top of the stairs I surveyed the crowd of people in my living room. Mother had thrown an impromptu get together without telling me. When the doorbell started ringing earlier, Fab was forced to tell me what Mother had planned. I spotted a pitcher of margaritas and from where I stood, I had an unobstructed path to the bar.

  Creole and Zach stood on the far side of the room together and waved. “I’ve been unsociable for a few days and they become friends again?” Zach started towards me as I walked down the stairs.

  “Wait until you hear how that happened,” Fab said.

  Brad came over and pulled my hair, like he did when we were kids. “I’d already planned on eating your portion of Mother’s ‘home cooking’ that she’s telling people she slaved over all day.”

  We both laughed. Anyone who knew Mother knew she avoided cooking.

  “What restaurant did she call?” I asked.

  “Crab Shack. She had me dump the to-go containers before anyone got here.”

  “I run her homemade cookie scam on occasion.”

  “Hey, I left a present for you on your desk.” Brad pointed. “Wrapped it myself. But open it later.”

  “I like presents,” I said before kissing Brad’s cheek. “So I’m skipping the part, ‘oh you shouldn’t have.’”

  Liam ran over and hugged me, Julie on his heels. “Love you,” he said. “I never liked Kibble.”

  “Back at you. Your ‘I miss you’ card was great; loved the pics and jokes.”

  “Let’s do a girl lunch soon, preferably not at the funeral home,” Julie said.

  Zach leaned in and kissed me. “Date night this week?”

  “As long as it’s not Banjoes.” We laughed. “Did the twin thug, Booger or whatever his name was, croak?”

  “Douglas Lewis has departed for the great beyond. The twins’ mother, in her grief, shot up the family trailer and got herself arrested for a cache of firearms that included a couple dozen illegal automatic A-K 47s,” Zach said.

  Creole appeared at my side. “There would’ve been no quick death for Kibble. I would’ve arranged for years of torment everyday he sat in prison waiting for Old Sparky. With any luck, before he died his hair would’ve caught fire and his fingers would’ve burned off.”

  Old Sparky was Florida’s first choice of execution. It had a reputation of malfunction, namely six to twelve-inch flames shooting out some prisoners’ heads. On occasion it took two or three flips of the switch for the person to die. Florida, against their wishes, had been forced to upgrade and to offer another option.

  “I hope you two didn’t get into a fist fight and I missed it,” I said to Creole and Zach.

  “Why don’t you ask your mother?” Zach said.

  “If she ambushed you two and got you to kiss and make up, then I’m happy. You two were worse than girls.”

  “I never did get a thank you,” Mother said, coming up behind them.

  “You,” Creole emphasized, pointing at Mother, “called and said you had a prowler. Even though I was in the area, I called in Coral Gables police as backup. You could’ve gone to jail.” Creole looked more amused than Zach.

  “Not my fault the prowler dude left right before you got there,” Mother said.

  I covered my face and laughed. “Good for you, Mother, getting them together and forcing them to talk.” I never understood why Creole didn’t want to tell his childhood buddy that he was a cop.

  “I’d come visit you in jail,” Liam said to Mother.

  “Nice. You’re a great influence, Mother,” Brad snorted.

  Julie bumped Liam’s shoulder. “Kids can’t go visit the jail.

  “I asked Joseph and he said there’s no age restriction to visit criminals,” Liam said. “But you do have to actually know them, not just
some random person.”

  “Madeline, I noticed you left out the part where you pointed a gun and dared us to move,” Zach said.

  “You rock, Mother,” I said as I put my arm around her.

  Mother clapped her hands. “All right everyone, food is ready in the kitchen.”

  “Talked to Harder,” Creole said, sidling up next to me. “Barbie’s sitting in jail on murder charges, on a one million dollar bond.”

  We hung back, it wasn’t like we’d ever run out of food. Mother over ordered every time. “Good riddance.” I can’t imagine a jury being sympathetic to her. “Since neither of the Shiners showed for the eviction hearing, they’re out. I’ll have Mac get their belongings packed and moved to storage.”

  Zach grabbed a beer and joined us. “Angie took care of that already.” He brushed the palms of his hands together. “Their stuff is gone, Mac had the placed cleaned and she told me she already rented to a ‘lovely European couple’ for three months.”

  “Did anyone ever question Angie about what she knew about Cosmo’s death?” I asked.

  “Harder had the sheriff wait until she left the property by herself, then had her picked up a couple of blocks away and brought into custody,” Creole said. “The first mention of Cosmo’s name and she started crying. Turns out she loved him. She only friended Barbie because of Kibble Junior. When Big Kibble went out fishing, Barbie turned over the complete care of the baby to Angie. Told Harder she couldn’t have children and wasn’t passing up the chance to mother Kibble Junior. Based on what she told Harder, Barbie used her as a nanny-maid.”

  The three of us were the last at the kitchen island. I wanted to stand there and pick at the food but I got a plate like everyone else.

  “When the arrest warrant got issued, Angie tipped Harder on Barbie’s hiding place. Angie claimed not to know anything about Barbie’s involvement in Cosmo’s death and Harder believed her. She cooperated with Harder for Cosmo’s kids. She handed over Barbie’s diary which detailed every thought the woman ever had and, once the arrest warrant got issued, Angie tipped Harder that Barbie had signed on as a cook on The Dreamer. She was taken into custody before the boat left the dock. In exchange, Harder helped Angie find a new place to live.” Creole filled his plate.