Memory Girl

by Singleton, Linda Joy

  After much whispering, Lila closes the door, turning to me with an excited grin. “Are you ready for your surprise?”

  “Now?” Relief mingles with curiosity. “Is it the birthday party?”

  “Not yet. That’s your second surprise—there’s a third also.” She stands aside and opens the door wide. “And they’ve arrived.”

  When I look past Lila, my mouth falls open.

  I stare at two people I never thought I’d see again.

  THIRTY-SIX

  “Marcus! Lorelei!”

  I’m so happy to see them that I’ve blurted out their youth names. But they’ll always be Marcus and Lorelei to me, and I’m overjoyed to see them.

  “Surprise!” Lorelei lifts her arms in a twirl.

  “Heya, Jennz,” Marcus says quietly.

  I open my mouth to say “heya” like always, only I can’t speak. Tears prickle my eyes, blurring my vision so my mates appear like ghostly imaginings. Yet Lorelei’s hug is real, and I reach out to draw Marcus into our hug.

  When I step back, I’m startled by the changes in Marcus. He’s wearing formal pantons with a buttoned, long-sleeved white shirt. While I saw his shorter hair at Sunday Fair, now his hair is unnaturally darker and parted to the side with gloss gel. He seems taller too.

  Lorelei, though, looks much the sameness. Her long black braid brushes against my cheek as we embrace, her scent fresh like spun cotton. She’s bubbling overfull with emotions so easy to read on her expressive face.

  I love them both so much.

  “I can’t believe you’re here,” I say with a catch in my throat.

  “Imagine how stunned we were to receive invites from scientists! No one ever visits them! And to be invited to your party is wondrous. I’ve been so worried about you.” She bites her lower lip. “We thought you … you were ….”

  “Gone,” Marcus says, frowning. “We were told Jennza no longer existed.”

  “I was Returned. Almost.” I glance over at Lila and Visla, who are quietly watching our reunion. I cover my mouth to whisper, “More later.”

  “I have much to say to you too,” Marcus whispers back.

  “For being almost Returned, you look well.” Lorelei pushes between us, hugging me again. “But what happened to your hair? It’s ripping short!”

  I reach up, having forgotten that Marcus isn’t the only one with shorter hair. “It’ll grow back.” I force a smile, not ready to talk about how close I came to becoming a droll. I swish the smooth edges of my hair. “And it’s easier to manage. No more tangles or tying it with a scarf.”

  “I like it.” Marcus looks at me in a deep way.

  My cheeks heat as if sun-flamed, and I can’t think what to say.

  “Lila, I can’t believe you did this for me,” I say with a grateful glance for Lila.

  She smiles. “What’s a party without friends?”

  “I didn’t think it was possible to bring anyone here from outside.”

  “There’s little I can’t accomplish,” the scientist says proudly. “Since you can’t go outside our boundaries, I brought your friends to you. It required covert arrangements. Today is the only day their absence won’t be noticed.”

  “Why today?” I ask.

  “Sunday Fair.” Lorelei nudges me like she thinks I’m teasing. But I had no idea it was even Sunday.

  “It was all very hush-hush. I pretended I was going to Sunday Fair. But beneath this covering is your gift.” Lorelei runs her fingers over her velvety jacket. “I sewed two hidden pockets inside this jacket.”

  “I can’t even tell there are pockets,” I say.

  “My own design,” she says proudly. “Our invitations warned us to tell no one our true destination.”

  “Your born-mates can only stay three hours,” Lila explains. “That’s enough time for your party.”

  “Best. Surprise. Ever,” I say, remembering Milly’s reply for a favorite gift.

  “J’ai eu des fêtes d’anniversaire magnifique,” Lorelei says in a rolling accent I’ve never heard her use before.

  “What did you say?” I think she’s teasing me.

  “Pardon, I forget myself. I said your birthday party will be magnificent. When I lived in France—a language I can now speak fluently—I had many splendid birthday celebrazes. My twelfth was magnifique in a hotel with over a hundred guests. Not long after, though, Maman was ill with the mind-plague.”

  “France? Maman?” I stare until comprehension strikes. “Graces good! You’ve had a memdenity!”

  “Three days ago! My mind is spinning with pictures and conversations and experiences. I love being Flavia!” She holds the edge of her braid like a dancing partner and gives a twirl. “It’s more amazing than I imagined, and now I know much about retro-century. I remember parents, cities, airplanes, horses—a much smoother ride than hoxen—and I used to play the piano.”

  “You did?” I say enviously. Milly and I both lack musical talent.

  “I performed at recitals and received thunderous applause. I can’t wait for my next memdenity. Then I can ask permission to play the museum piano.”

  Marcus puts his hands on his hips, frowning. “You’re gabbering faster than magbirds. Slow down. I can’t understand half of what you’re saying.”

  “Poor Marcus hasn’t had his memdenity yet,” Lorelei teases.

  “It was delayed.”

  I start to ask why until I remember that his Leader was killed—by the boy I helped escape. Does he know what I did?

  “Don’t be jealous because we’re more advanced than you,” Lorelei tells Marcus in a lofty tone.

  “Climb off your high perch.” Marcus playfully swats her arm. “New memories don’t change anything—you’re still the same fluff-brain who shrieked at harmless wormlings.”

  “You threw one in my hair,” she accuses.

  “Your hair never looked better.”

  “You’re a jerky-toad.”

  “Flavia fluff-brain.”

  “Don’t call me that!”

  Marcus dodges Lorelei’s kick, laughing. I laugh too. Lorelei shoots me a scathing look, then starts to giggle, and we’re all laughing.

  I hug this moment, dearer than gifts wrapped with ribbons. Despite new names and separate lives, we’re still best mates.

  That will never change.

  The first floor dining room is transformed with strings of silver ribbons and paper flowers floating like clouds in the ceiling. A large table is covered with a purple tarp painted with images of Sharing Blooms, and in the center is a three-tier cake, iced with yellow frosting.

  There are gifts too, wrapped in a rainbow of shaded papers—except one which is sewn with cloth and buttoned closed—Lorelei’s crafty gift.

  We are a party of eight: myself, Lila, her three sistas, and my best mates. Two drolls stand at the door like stone statues. Marcus and Lorelei glance at the drolls curiously. I whisper that drolls are harmless. With some guilt, I realize I’m beginning to ignore them too.

  My first birthday party is better than Milly’s lifetime of birthdays combined. My friends, my cake, my gifts. And such lovely gifts!

  Visla insists I open a flat box first—a lace-trimmed night covering from Visla and the other sistas. Lila hands me a box, and when I lift the, lid I ahh with delight at the framed photo of a woman with dark hair piled high on her head, bow-shaped lips, and green eyes. I don’t need to be told her identity: Angeleen Dupree.

  “Angeleen was thirty-two when this was taken,” Lila tells me with warmth in her voice. “She survived the Attack only to die years later from a fall off a cliff. For a long time, I avoided the cliffs, but now I think of her when I take walks. We worked together on the early stages of cease-aging. She was brilliant.”

  I’m overwhelmed with gratitude and don’t know what to say. If I could pile my thanks to Lila, they’d vanish into a horizon of sky. She’s not just giving me a new identity—she’s sharing her friend.

  Lorelei picks up a gift and plops it i
n front of me. “Dépêchez-vous! Ouvre mon cadeau. A Flavia creation.”

  While I unbutton her wrapped gift of hair frivels, I glance up to find Marcus studying me with an intense expression. Is he feeling left out because Lorelei and I share the memdenity experience? I vow to talk less of my new memories and warn Lorelei to be more sensitive too.

  Marcus shifts in his boots awkwardly as he hands me lavender-scented goat soap. “It’s not much. I churned it myself and added lilac petals.”

  I sniff the soap and smile. “It smells lovely. Thank you, Marcus.”

  “Soap from dirt boy?” Lorelei teases.

  “I prefer to be clean.” He shows off his tanned but spotless hands.

  He laughs, but he isn’t smiling. Something isn’t right with him. Whenever our gazes meet, he quickly looks away.

  Lila orders the drolls to clean fooder plates and to clear away wrappings. The sistas gather my gifts and carry them to my room.

  “You have two hours left with your mates,” Lila tells me. I ask for permission to take Lorelei and Marcus walking on the cliffs. Lila not only agrees but orders a droll to prepare a lunch basket.

  Outside in fresh air, beneath a cloudless sky with the rushing sounds of sea, everything feels more natural between us. I imagine we’re walking the familiar Edu-Center trail, our feet falling in step, like we’ve done so many times.

  At the highest point, we prop up rock slabs like seats, sitting in a tri-circle. My gaze meets Marcus, and once again he turns away.

  “Is everything all right?” I ask him.

  “Why wouldn’t it be?” He shrugs, looking at the ground.

  “You just seem … I don’t know … different. Are you getting along with your Family?”

  “I’ve earned their trust.” He hesitates. “But what you did caused suspicion of all youths.”

  “So you know.” I suck in a deep breath, then blow it out.

  “I don’t believe any of it.” Lorelei scoots between us. “We heard you helped the killer escape, but rumors are hardly ever true. You’d never betray your Family.”

  I hang my head, shamed. “I did it. Please, don’t hate me.”

  “I could never hate you,” Lorelei says with no hint of anger. “You must have had a good reason. That’s why we’ve been working on a plan to help you. Tony found out something stunning.”

  “Tony?” I repeat. “Who?

  Marcus slowly raises his hand. “Me.”

  I stare at him. “What happened to Neil? That’s the name you Chose.”

  “My Family has decided I’ll be more useful as Anthony Sarwald.”

  “I’ve heard that name before.” I rub my chin, then gasp. “Grand Leader Anthony Sarwald!”

  “Marcus will be our highest Leader.” Lorelei shakes her head. “Isn’t that ripping weird?”

  I nod, half expecting this to be a joke. But they’re both serious.

  “Marcus—I mean, Tony—will be the most powerful person in ShareHaven,” Lorelei adds. “You’ll be able to see him more often since he’ll consult with scientists. Isn’t that ripping weird?”

  Marcus frowns. “I’ll get the first memdenity in a week. It’s an honor with much responsibility. I doubt I’m the right person for this role, but I’ll do my best.”

  “You always do, and it’s more than enough,” I say, squeezing his hand.

  “I’m unsure, though, about Grand Sarwald’s character,” Marcus says uneasily. “I moved into his dwelling, and when I was putting away my shoes, I found a loose floorboard in the closet. I pried it up and found ….” Marcus picks at his clean fingernails. “I found a locked steel box. I didn’t have a key, so I used a twisted wire to open the lock.”

  “Wait till you hear what he found inside!” Lorelei adds, with a jump so close to the ledge I grab her arm and pull her away.

  “This.” Marcus (not Neil or Tony ever to me) reaches under his shirt and brings up a four-pointed symbol on a gold chain—exactly like the one I found in Milly’s jewelry box.

  The symbol of the Believers.

  THIRTY-SEVEN

  “I’ve seen other necklaces like that,” I tell Marcus.

  Lorelei lifts her brows curiously.

  Marcus asks, “Where?”

  “The first one I saw was in Milly’s jewelry box,” I answer. Then I tell them about waking up at night when I still lived with the Cross Family and discovering a secret meeting of Believers in a hidden room. “Some of them wore these symbols too, and they spoke of Nate—the boy who killed Grand Sarwald.”

  “The Nocturne you helped.” Marcus’s tone sharpens with accusation.

  “I couldn’t let him die—not after what he did for me.”

  They both give me “what haven’t you been telling us?” looks, and I can’t hide my secret any longer—not if I want to keep their friendship. So after two years of keeping my cave a secret, I tell them everything: sneaking off to the cave, swimming with Petal, and how Nate saved me from the vampfin.

  “You understand why I had to help him?” I ask, then hold my breath.

  I exhale when their expressions soften, and they both nod. “Leader Cross was angry when Nate was caught,” I continue. “They wanted his execution to be quick, so he wouldn’t expose them. The Believers planned Leader Sarwald’s death.”

  “Not Instructor Penny!” Lorelei’s eyes widen. “She’d never do anything against ShareHaven laws.”

  “She was at the meeting,” I say sadly. “But she was the only one who defended Nate. Leader Cross, Daisy, and the others said he was a savage who deserved to die, but Instructor Penny felt sorry for him.”

  Marcus frowns. “Being at the meeting makes her as guilty as the others.”

  “Secret friendships are common,” Lorelei says with a dismissive wave of her hand, her voice slipping into a French accent. “Like Daisy’s romance.” She sighs. “How sad to love someone not of your Family.”

  “Romancing outside a Family is allowed,” Marcus says. “But an illegal meeting led by a Leader is disturbing. What is the purpose?”

  “It has to do with faith.” I tell them what Rosemarie said about her husband being murdered because he was going to vote for freedom of religion.

  “If people want more churches, give them more.” Lorelei picks up a shiny black rock and bounces it in her hand. “What’s the ripping problem?”

  Marcus shakes his wheat-brown head. “We begin our mornings with a pledge to honor our Family, society, and science. Science is why we live forever, not an invisible belief in a higher entity. Worshiping higher powers would shift the power in our community. The Leaders won’t allow it.”

  “Unless the Leader is part of it,” I point out.

  “Grand Sarwald had a Believer necklace, which means he was part of the group too.” Marcus stares down at the star-shaped necklace around his neck.

  “Then why did they plot against him?” I wrinkle my brow.

  “I don’t know, but the answers may be in the papers he hid. Perhaps he joined the Believers to get proof of their guilt. He was going to expose them, so they hired the Nocturne to kill him. I’ll know the truth when I receive memdenity.”

  “You may not like what you find out,” I warn.

  “And you only get childhood mems at first. I still can’t stitch a perfect hem.” Lorelei tosses her rock over the cliff, and I strain forward, listening, but there’s no thud or splash. “It’ll be two months and twenty-six days before my second mem. Way too long!”

  I pat her shoulder. “Marcus has more patience.”

  “While I’m waiting, I’ll seek answers,” Marcus says with a determined press of his lips. “If I find proof of a murder plot, the guilty will be punished.”

  The fierceness of his expression is different from the carefree youth who gently cradled crawlies in his hands. I can’t take my eyes from him, noticing small details like how the wind barely stirs his shortened hair, the commanding lift of his shoulders, and how his hard muscles fill out his moss-green shirt. No longer the
youth but a man who will become Grand Leader.

  “Jennza, when I’m officially Grand Sarward I’ll clear the charges against you.” Marcus tells me. “You can return to ShareHaven.”

  “How can you clear the charges when what I did was wrong?”

  “You only wanted to help a friend, which shouldn’t be punished so severely. Some things are out of our control and mistakes happen that you regret. But there’s nothing you can do except go on.” He glances away from me with a troubled expression. “I wish things were different … that none of this ever happened.”

  “You’re a good mate,” I tell him, touched by his concern.

  Lorelei gives me a hug. “You’re missing out on so much—and I’m missing you even more. We won’t give up until you can return to your Family.”

  “Not the Crosses!” I shake my head. “I will never go back.”

  “If Leader Cross is proven guilty of conspiracy, he’ll be jailed and you can choose a new Family.” Marcus speaks with the confidence of a future leader. “You’d fit well with my Family. You’ll enjoy working with crawlies and natural resources.”

  “My Family is more fun,” Lorelei says, with a defiant look for Marcus. “We sing while we sew and create interesting crafts. It would be so wondrous to have you for a sister, cousin, mother, or some other Ying relation.”

  “I’d love to be with both of you.” I bite my lip. “But I like it here too—and there’s something more. Scientist Lila asked me not to tell anyone here, but you’re only visiting. So I can tell you.”

  “A secret?” Lorelei says eagerly.

  “Swear you won’t repeat it.”

  “Crisscross thumb promise.” Lorelei presses her thumb against mine.

  Marcus offers his thumbs too, crisscrossing against ours.

  “Scientist Lila wants me to work with her.” A burst of pride rushes through me as I announce, “She offered me a memdenity!”

  “An assistant?” Lorelei puckers her face. “You’ll get bored following scientists around like puppets. And what about those creepy drolls?”

  “I almost became one.” I shudder then explain what happened.