The door creaked as I closed it, and with a push back of my shoulders, I headed into the living room. The hope I’d had disintegrated into ash because right there, on the sofa, was my mom, sprawled out with her eyes half closed. It wasn’t that that was the problem though.
No.
It was the needle in her arm that caused my heart to crack for what felt like the thousandth time.
She was high.
Again.
And I realized…it was a pipedream. She’d never stay clean. I just didn’t have the heart to believe it. I wished and prayed every day that my parents were like everyone else’s. But they weren’t. They never would be. And it was time I understood that.
Mom opened one of her eyes, moaning and reaching her hand out to me. Any other time I would have gone to her. Any other time I would have turned down the music and cleared up the mess she’d made.
Not today.
We’d come here for a clean start, and she’d lasted all of two weeks. Two weeks living in a sober house. Two weeks without strangers coming over. Two weeks without the sweet scent of her drugs.
I’d made a mistake coming here with them, but now it was too late. I had to deal with it whether I liked it or not, but that didn’t mean I had to be part of it. So I walked away. I acted like I hadn’t seen her there in yesterday's stained clothes. I acted like I’d come home to an empty apartment, because pretending everything was how it had been was easier than acknowledging the fact that nothing would ever change.
* * *
MATEO
My eyes never stayed in the same position for long. I was hyperaware of every single thing around us. I knew that the car directly behind had been on the same path we were for the last two blocks, but I also knew that the old woman behind the wheel wasn’t a threat. At least, I hoped she wasn’t.
I knew that the car two behind hers had followed us from the time we left the mansion. The fact that they were law enforcement wasn’t something easily detected, but I was so used to it that I could spot them from a mile away. Sometimes I allowed them to follow me just so that they’d be occupied, but days like today when I was driving Aida to college, I needed to lose them—when the time was right.
Each day we took a different route to Aida’s college, knowing that predictability wasn’t something we wanted. I was always finding alternative routes to the places we had to go to on a regular basis, and once I had at least ten options, I would switch them out, not leaving a single pattern behind. Confusion was the key.
Some people may have only seen me as the person who drove Lorenzo and Aida anywhere they needed to go, but I knew I was more than that. I was a personal bodyguard and now the head of security. I was one of Lorenzo’s most trusted allies; I had to be with how close contact we all were. I saw and heard things no one else did. I knew what the punishments were. I knew what the rewards were. I knew how to deal with everything.
Normally, Aida wouldn’t have stopped talking on the way to college, but since this was her first day back since—I gritted my teeth and gripped the steering wheel harder. I didn’t want to think about that day. I didn’t want to look at Aida and only see the scars she was left with thanks to Paolo. But it was hard. I blamed myself even if they didn’t. I was meant to protect her, just like I was meant to protect my siblings. But I felt like I was failing. We were still stuck in that shitty apartment, and even though they both went to school during the day, they still had to be around her when they got home.
My breaths came faster the closer to college we got, and I tried to slow them. I didn’t want Aida asking anything that I didn’t want to answer. She had enough to deal with. She didn’t need my shit added on to that. Not that I would have told her anyway. I kept things close to my chest, not letting anyone in. I’d learned a long time ago that you couldn’t truly trust anyone but yourself.
I closed my eyes as I pulled up to a red light, trying to gain my control back. It wasn’t often that I let it slip, but it was becoming more and more lately. Maybe my brain was trying to tell me something? If it was, then I refused to listen. All I needed to do was make it through each day and it would all be fine.
The light turned green and I hooked a left, pulling up to the edge of campus. I left the engine running as Lorenzo and Aida said their goodbyes. Lorenzo didn’t get out of the back of the SUV. He never did. I wasn’t sure whether it was because he didn’t want to draw any extra attention to them, or if it was because it was a safety risk. Maybe it was a combination of both.
“See you later, Mateo,” Aida said softly. I met her gaze in the rearview mirror, clearly able to see her apprehension. I’d overheard her and Lorenzo arguing about her going back to college. She’d told him in no uncertain terms that she was going to get her degree whether he liked it or not.
“Later,” I murmured, smiling as she closed the door. I didn’t move from the spot I was in until she’d entered the building. The air suspended until she was out of sight.
“Let’s go,” Lorenzo barked, pulling out both his usual cell and the satellite phone Mr. Blue had gotten him. The apprehension rolled off of him in crashing waves. I wasn’t sure whether it was because this was the first time Aida had been out of the house on her own, or because we were heading to a meeting with The Enterprise.
It was only the second meeting since Lorenzo had escaped Paolo’s clutches, and I knew it would be full of tension. The Enterprise consisted of five heads of the families with Lorenzo at the top of them. And now the leader of The Enterprise had been targeted, which meant the lanes were open for anyone else to do the same. We may have upped our security, but that didn’t mean we weren’t vulnerable in other areas.
I pulled into the lot of the usual meeting place and right to the entrance. It didn’t matter that I was blocking the way for anyone else because it meant Lorenzo was safe. I switched the engine off and we both got out at the same time, Lorenzo in front of me, his attention focused forward, but I knew he was as aware of what was around as I was.
Neither of us spoke as we walked inside. The other four men were already seated around the table in their usual chairs. I followed Lorenzo to the head of the table and stood a couple of feet behind him to the left. I wasn’t just there to jump in if Lorenzo needed me, but I was also there to record the entire meeting without any of them knowing.
What was said in these meetings wasn’t meant to leave this room, but Lorenzo was forging his own path. He needed it not just to protect himself, but his family too. And nothing was more important than family. I knew that better than anyone.
“First order of business,” Lorenzo started, placing his hands on the wooden surface. “Does anyone have anything they want to bring attention to?”
I glanced at each of them in turn, reading their expressions and body language. You could tell more from a person by their actions than the words they spoke. Alessandro Roti leaned back in his seat, looking bored out of his mind, but I knew it was an act. He was the one who wanted to be in charge and hated that Lorenzo had been voted in. Stefano and Neri kept their positions, not moving a single inch. But it was the newcomer, Gio Pozzi that lifted his hand.
“I wanna talk about territory,” he said, his voice trying to sound in control, but we all heard the squeak in the middle of his sentence.
“Territory?” Lorenzo asked, turning his head to look at me. His ink-black hair was pushed back in its usual style, and his give-no-fucks expression was firmly in place. His lips quirked at the corner, his eyes narrowing on me. He was silently telling me to take note of what was about to happen, but he didn’t need to because I was fully focused.
“Yeah.” Gio shuffled in his seat, so I took a step forward. It would only take a second for him to grab his gun and fire off several shots. I slowly moved my hand to my waistband where one of my two guns was placed. “We have the smallest territory. I want to expand.”
The silence echoed around the room until Lorenzo softly said, “No.” He turned to face Alessandro and Neri. “Anything else
needing to be—”
“What do you mean, no?” Gio stood, his chair scraping against the wooden floor.
I lunged forward, standing side by side with Lorenzo, but he didn’t make a single move. He simply stared up at Gio, tilting his head at him. “You’re new here, so I’m gonna let that slide.” Lorenzo planted both hands on the table and slowly pushed up, his attention not moving off of Gio. “This is your one and only warning.” He paused; the tension so thick there was no way you could cut through it. “Never fuckin’ interrupt me. Ever.” Gio swallowed, his face turning a bright hue of red as he plopped back in his seat. “Got it?”
“Got it,” he whispered, hanging his head like he was a kid who had been told off. And in a way he had. Lorenzo was the head of The Enterprise for a reason, and he needed to learn that—fast.
“Now that Gio has had his tantrum…” The room filled with chuckles at Lorenzo’s quip, and I took that as my cue to step back. “Let’s discuss Paolo.” The temperature in the room plummeted at his words. Even I felt a shiver run down my back. No one but the closest to Lorenzo knew what had happened when his uncle had taken him and Aida. We’d witnessed the aftermath, and now we were about to be part of the anger that would follow.
“He’s dead,” Alessandro commented. “What’s there to discuss?”
I rolled my head, the bones in my neck cracked from the force. I had to keep a lid on what I was feeling but it was harder the longer I stood here. I’d had access to things in the last couple of weeks that I’d never known about. It wasn’t until you were given a position of authority that you realized just what went into running a criminal organization.
“He is,” Lorenzo said, so calmly it was almost scary. “But that doesn’t mean what he represented isn’t still surrounding us.” I shuffled on the spot, glancing at the clock and seeing we’d already been here twice as long as a usual meeting. Lorenzo didn’t want them to last too long for safety reasons, from both enemies and law enforcement. “He got to me. It made us vulnerable.”
“And?” Alessandro quipped, looking down at his wristwatch.
“And that makes you vulnerable, you stupid fuck.” I winced as Lorenzo’s voice became louder. “Are you really that fuckin’ stupid?”
“I’m not vuln—”
“Yeah, you are.” Lorenzo reached into the bag he’d carried in here and emptied it onto the table. “It took my guy an hour to find everything to do with all of your businesses.” He stood, his hands clenched at his sides. “If one of us is vulnerable, we all are. Lock your shit up. Now.”
Lorenzo buttoned his jacket up, glanced at each of them in turn as they reached for the papers, then left without another word. I followed, leaving several paces behind us to catch anything they said, but they were all too quiet. They thought they were impenetrable, but we’d found out the hard way that we weren’t. We’d been on the defense, but now we were firmly placed at offense.
“We’re running late, head straight back to the mansion,” Lorenzo said as I pushed into the SUV.
I didn’t answer him as I turned the key and sped out of the lot. We’d been there too long and we needed to get away as quick as we could. Lorenzo had two more meetings before the day was out. He was back to work with a bang, and I had no doubt he wouldn’t give any second chances from now on. He’d been crossed in the worst way possible, and now he was out to teach everyone just what happened when you tried to take the Beretta Mafia for fools. Things were changing, and I had no idea if it would be good or bad, but what I did know was that I was here for it. Loyalty ran through my veins just like the blood that kept me alive.
Two soldiers flanked the gates as I pulled up. I clicked the driver’s window down enough so they could see my face and they let us in. I halted in front of the mansion, and as I was about to turn the engine off, my cell vibrated and rang out.
Any other time I wouldn’t have stopped to think about it, but this cell was different. This was the one that only my little brother had the number to. I pulled it out of my pocket, seeing his name. “Fuck.” I met Lorenzo’s gaze in the rearview mirror. His brows furrowed as he stared at me, but I didn’t have time to explain it to him, instead I clicked the answer call button. “Everything okay?”
His huff of breath whooshed down the line. “Mom sent Reana home.”
I let my head drop back, feeling it hit the headrest of the seat. “Has she already left?”
“Yeah. She said she’s never coming back.”
“Mateo?” Lorenzo asked, leaning forward. “What’s going on?”
Pulling in a breath, I turned in my seat. “Mom sent the babysitter home and—”
“Go.” He shuffled across the seat and placed his hand on the door. “I can handle the rest of the day. I’ll call Romeo in.”
“You sure?”
Lorenzo raised a brow. “They’re family.” He paused and opened the door. “We look out for family.” I stared as he walked past the fountain outside the mansion and into the main doors. I had responsibilities here, but I also had them at home. It had always been a juggling act, but it was feeling more and more impossible lately.
I placed the cell firmly next to my ear again. My heart hammered in my chest as I heard the music blasting in the background, and I could only imagine what was happening there. “Get outside.” I sat up straighter. “I’ll be there as fast as I can.”
“Okay,” his small voice said, and my heart cracked yet again. I’d promised that I wouldn’t let him go through what I had, but he was there, dealing with it just like I had been. It was time for change, time to rethink what I was doing. But for now, all I needed to do was make sure they were safe.
I grasped the steering wheel harder than I needed to and peeled away from the mansion, telling myself I’d fix this, but as I repeated it over and over again, it felt like a lie. I was getting through each day, trying to make it to the next, but we couldn’t keep living like that. Something had to give before bad things happened. Bad things that we wouldn’t be able to come back from.
CHAPTER 3
LUNA
Four days.
That was how long it had been since my first day of college.
Three days.
That was how long it had been since the thumping music had started and not stopped.
Two days.
That was how long it had taken for Dad to give in and join Mom in her relapse.
One day.
That was how long we’d had people in our apartment that still hadn’t left.
It was something I was used to, something I’d grown up in, but that didn’t mean I had to like it. This was meant to be a fresh start, somewhere where no one knew us, yet they’d still managed to find out where to buy drugs and invite people to the one place that should have been where I felt safest.
For what felt like the thousandth time today, I glanced over at my bedroom door. I’d spent hours stacking furniture in front of it after someone had walked into my room thinking it was the bathroom. Danger was only on the other side of that flimsy wood, and I wasn’t afraid to admit it scared me.
I’d lived this life too long, but I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t sit here all day knowing that they were getting high a few feet away. They were destroying themselves, and me in the process.
I needed to escape, but the problem was, I had nowhere to go. I was truly alone, but it wasn’t anything new. I was used to it. I was used to being judged because of my parents. And it had never really bothered me. Not until now. I huffed out a breath and let my head drop back. Maybe it would be different now though. I could make friends, start a life of my own, and get away from the two people who were meant to put me first.
Technically I’d already made one friend, even if it was an eight-year-old kid from the first floor. My eyes widened and I flew forward, gasping. I could go and see if he was out there. I’d told myself I was going to check on him, and I hadn’t. It was the perfect excuse to get out of this godforsaken place.
Renewed
with a new sense of urgency, I used all of my strength to move the furniture aside. The music was even louder now that I had no sound barrier. I held my breath as I walked through the chaotic apartment. The front door squeaked, but no one even noticed me leaving.
My lungs sang as I breathed in the fresh air. It was stuffy in there, but also the sickly-sweet smell of whatever they were smoking was starting to cling to my skin. I needed a shower, but there was no way I was going to do that while there were strangers in the house. Yet another reason why I should have moved into the dorms on campus.
Everything was happening for a reason though, I firmly believed that. Maybe I was meant to be here to help me realize that they were never going to change.
I wrapped my hands around the railing to the balcony, trying to think of something other than my parents. My attention moved to the cracked concrete ground below, and as soon as I saw Cardo and Chiara running around, I grinned. A voice in the back of my mind told me that it was pathetic going down there to talk to them just because I didn’t want to be at home, but I pushed that aside. I needed something different to what was inside those four walls.
My boots clicked on the steps as I tried to take my time going down there so I didn’t seem too eager. I had to play it cool, like I was already heading out and ran into them instead of what the truth was: that I was seeking them out.
I halted at the bottom step and watched them for a couple of minutes, wondering what it would have been like if I would have had a sibling. Would things have been different? I would have had someone who understood me. Someone who could have shouldered some of the pain. Someone who would have cared about me.
A lump formed in my throat, but I swallowed past it. I couldn’t think like that, not here, not now. Those kinds of thoughts were saved for when it was dark outside, and I was alone in my bedroom. For now, I had to put on a front. One that made out I was doing great and not breaking apart inside.
Mateo Caputo: Unseen Underground Page 3