I pushed my shoulders back and took a step forward. “Hey, Cardo!” I greeted, waving my hand in the air. I screwed up my face at the move, cringing at myself.
“Luna!” He darted over to me with Chiara hot on his heels. “I haven’t seen you in forever.” He dragged the last word out, and I couldn’t help the pull at my lips.
“I know.” I crouched down in front of them both. “I started my new college a few days ago.”
“You go to college?” Chiara asked in her sweet little voice. Her eyes were wide, the bright hazel pulling me in and threatening to not let me go.
“I do.” I nodded. “I don’t have classes today though.”
“We finished school already,” Cardo announced, pushing his chest out. “I learned my times tables today.”
“You did?” I tilted my head, listening intently. He was proud of himself, and for some reason, so was I. School had always been my savior. It was the one place where I wasn’t surrounded by chaos.
“Yeah, want to hear them?”
“Sure.” My thighs burned from crouching in front of them, so I stood. “Let’s go sit down.” I looked around, spotting the curb that separated part of the makeshift parking lot from the small patch of grass. I pointed and they both ran toward it.
Cardo stood with his hands on his hips and Chiara waited next to him, her gaze flashing from me to him and then the curb again. She was waiting to see what to do. My stomach dropped, seeing so much of myself reflected in her. I didn’t know these kids, not really, and yet I felt like my soul did.
I sat down on the curb and patted the spot next to me as I stared at Chiara. “Come and sit.”
She glanced at Cardo, and when he nodded, she slowly walked toward me and sat down. Cardo started reeling off the times tables that he’d learned, walking around in a circle as he did. I wasn’t sure how long we listened to him, but when Chiara shuffled closer, I looked down at her.
Chiara raised her hand, her small fingers running over the braid in my hair. “What’s this?”
“A braid,” I whispered, keeping half of my attention on Cardo as he jumped in the air and slammed his feet on the ground.
“Can you do that to my hair?” she asked. Her eyes fluttered shut, her body rigid. A normal person wouldn’t have seen the way hope flowed through her, but I saw it as clear as day. It was the same hope that shone in my eyes every time I looked in the mirror.
“Of course.” I turned to face her fully. “Turn the other way.”
Her eyes popped open, her lips lifting into the biggest grin I’d ever seen. “Okay!”
She spun so fast she knocked herself off-kilter. Her giggle as she saved herself from falling completely had my own lips lifting into a smile. And I realized that since I’d been out here, I hadn’t thought about my apartment and what was happening inside it even once.
I pushed my fingers through her hair, finger combing it, then split it into two sections. I started at the top of her head, knowing that she was going to look so cute with two braids.
“See?” Cardo said, walking back toward us. “I’m a math genius.”
I chuckled, nearly finished with the first braid. “You are.” I glanced back at Chiara and tied off the first braid with an elastic from my hair. “Do you know the next one?”
Cardo shook his head. “My teacher hasn’t told us that yet.”
Biting down on my bottom lip, I wondered if I would be overstepping if I told him. I opened my mouth, about to reel off the next times table, when tires squealed behind us. An SUV pulled into the lot, and Cardo spun around as Chiara sat up straighter, but neither of them moved. We all stared at it as it reversed into a self-made spot.
“Who’s that?” I whispered, not sure who I was talking to, but no one answered me. I quickly tied off Chiara’s second braid and spun to face the SUV.
The door opened, a dark-gray-pant-covered leg appeared, and I tracked it down to pristine black shoes. By the time my gaze traveled back up the body and over the buttoned-up white shirt, I was completely captivated. My breaths came faster, my cheeks heated.
He slammed the door shut and stood there for several seconds, just enough time for me to see his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, displaying his tan skin and muscular forearms. I blinked, trying to take him all in. I’d never seen someone dressed like that here. He looked out of place.
Maybe he was lost?
I gasped as his head whipped around to face us. His gaze was fixated on us, Chiara in particular. I shuffled closer to her, my instinct to protect her kicking in. I didn’t think about it too much because I was afraid if I did, I’d open a Pandora's box of memories I kept buried deep down where they’d never see the light of day.
He moved toward us, and I wasn’t sure whether it was just me, but I was sure it was in slow motion. Each of his movements were measured, as if he didn’t do a single thing without thinking about how it would look or come across. He was hyperaware of himself, that much was obvious. And I…I couldn’t look away.
His attention moved from Chiara to Cardo, and then finally landed on me. For a second, I was sure that Chiara and Cardo didn’t know this guy, but as soon as he smiled down at them, they both ran toward him, and pounced on him. They wrapped their arms around him and squeezed as hard as they could. He didn’t hesitate to grab hold of them and pick them both up, causing his muscles in his arms to tense from the movement. I seriously couldn’t look away from his arms.
Slowly, I stood, wiping the back of my jeans off as I went. “Hi,” I greeted, lifting my hand in an awkward wave. He looked over at me, his brow raised, his dark eyes captivating me even more than his arms had. “I’m Luna.” I blinked, waiting for him to say something, but when he stayed silent, I continued, “I moved into the third-floor apartment a few weeks ago.”
“She braided my hair,” Chiara supplied, looking up at him with stars in her eyes. She doted on him, and when he met her gaze, it was clear to see that he doted on her too. His eyes narrowed on her hair and my stomach dropped. I didn’t know how he knew Cardo and Chiara, but I was starting to wonder if I’d crossed some kind of boundary I hadn’t realized was there.
“Nice to meet you,” he finally spoke, his deep voice echoing around us. I opened my mouth to say something—anything—but it was too late because he was turning away and heading to their apartment.
And I was alone again, just like always.
* * *
MATEO
I wasn’t sure what I was going to see as I walked into the apartment with Chiara firmly in my arms and Riccardo next to me. I hadn’t expected the empty living room, but I had expected the empty bottles of alcohol and the smell of vomit. I tried not to let it show on my face how much it bothered me, but I knew Cardo and Chiara could sense it.
Outside of this apartment I was the shirt-wearing Mafia soldier, but inside it, I was Riccardo and Chiara’s big brother. Their protector. The one person they could rely on. They’d only ever known me to take care of them, so in some ways I was more like a dad to them, but I would always be Mateo, their big brother. Everything I did was for them, but it was becoming clearer and clearer that it wasn’t enough anymore. I had to get us out of here, I just didn’t know how without turning my back on our mom.
“Go and wash up,” I said, placing Chiara on the floor. “I’ll sort Mom out and then we can cook dinner.”
“Okay!” they both shouted, running toward the bathroom of our small apartment. It was bigger than the one I grew up in, but it was still too small. Cardo and Chiara had to share a room. I didn’t want them to have to compromise, but I knew it was all they were used to. It didn’t mean it would always be like this.
I’d been saving to buy a house, one that would become a home. I’d wanted to wait, but as I walked toward my small bedroom, I knew now was the time. I had to take the leap, not for me, but for the two small humans who trusted me to take care of them.
I opened my bedroom door, cursing as I saw the sheets ripped off my bed. Mom had been in
here again, which was yet another reason we couldn’t keep doing this. My room was just big enough for my bed and a rail to hang my clothes on. It had done the job it was meant to over the last few years, but I couldn’t keep this up. It didn’t matter how much I wanted to help my mom, sometimes walking away did more good than harm.
Laughter floated from the bathroom, and the sound had my lips lifting. Cardo and Chiara never failed to remind me why I did this. Without them I wasn’t sure where I would have been. Maybe I would have ended up like my mom, or maybe I would have been a nine-to-five suit wearer in the city. The possibilities were endless, but the path I was on was the one meant for me. There was a reason I had to drop out of school; a reason that I had asked Lorenzo for a job that day. It had all led me to this moment, the moment of clarity.
It was time to get out of here. Time to put Cardo and Chiara first.
With an energy I only ever felt when I was at the Beretta mansion, I changed out of my shirt and slacks and into some sweats and a T-shirt. Cardo and Chiara were occupied, so I darted into Mom’s room. She was sprawled half on her bed and half on the floor. Normally I would have helped her into the bed and made sure she was safe. But as I stared at her greasy hair and gray face, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I was twenty-four and I’d been cleaning up after her my entire life. It was time to stop.
So I shut the door, putting a barrier between her and us. Rage slammed through me knowing that the kids had already seen her like that. She was messy—more so than usual.
Trying to put the image of her out of my mind, I walked down the hallway and into their shared room where Chiara was staring at her hair in the mirror and Cardo was trying his hardest to fit a puzzle piece in a space that it didn’t go in.
“You like it, Mateo?” Chiara asked, meeting my gaze in the small mirror I’d bought her.
“I love it.” I stepped toward her and ran my fingertips over the two braids. “They’re pretty.” I’d never met the woman who they had been with, and even though deep down I wanted to ask them who she was, I knew they wouldn’t be able to give me the kind of information I needed. I didn’t care that her eyes bled of pain—pain that I recognized. I didn’t give a damn that her biting down on her plump bottom lip had me going hot all over.
What I did care about, was her being around Cardo and Chiara when I didn’t know a fuckin’ thing about her. I made a mental note to ask Mr. Blue to do an in-depth background check on her and then I stepped back. “Dinner will be ready in thirty minutes.”
“Okay,” Chiara murmured, turning to look back in the mirror. She looked so much like our mom that it was scary sometimes. Thank God neither she nor Cardo got her eyes though. I’d been punished with them, so they didn’t need to be either.
I ruffled Cardo’s dark-brown hair as I moved past him and out of their bedroom, making yet another mental note that he needed a haircut soon. Sometimes I wondered if I was doing a good enough job with them. It always felt like I was five steps behind what they needed and that I was always trying to catch up. But at least it was better than leaving Mom to it. If it was up to her, they wouldn’t even eat unless they were at school.
I gritted my teeth as I walked through the living room and past the waist-high wall that separated it from the kitchen. She’d pulled everything she could out of the cupboards. She was looking for money again, but there was no way in hell I was going to keep funding her alcoholism. I’d spent too much time and effort adhering to her demands. And now I was done.
Once dinner was cooking—a simple pasta dish I’d learned when I was ten—I then tidied everywhere I could. It would only be a matter of time until she was awake again, I just hoped it was after the kids were in bed. They’d seen enough of her today.
We sat at the table, just the three of us, and I reveled in them telling me all about their day at school. Cardo was ahead of the grade he was in, and Chiara was still in pre-K. It was their escape, just like going to the mansion was mine.
“Do you want to hear the times tables?” Cardo asked.
Chiara huffed, placing her fork on the side of her plate. “Cardo.” She pursed her lips, looking so much older than the four-year-old she was. “You already said it like a million times to Luna.” She met my stare, shaking her head, and I couldn’t help the quirk of my lips.
“I haven’t heard yet though,” I said softly, being careful not to upset Chiara while keeping Cardo happy. Navigating two siblings so close in age was a full-time job in itself.
“Fine.” She rolled her eyes, then picked her fork up.
“Okay, so it goes—”
I put my last bite of pasta in my mouth, intent on giving him all of my attention, but he was interrupted by groaning coming from Mom’s bedroom. We all froze, knowing what was about to come, especially as she’d be partially sober now.
“Who the fuck has been drinking my shit!” Several bangs rang out, but I didn’t move my gaze off Cardo and Chiara. They were all too used to this, and I hated it. I hated how I felt like I needed to keep us all together. Family was important, that was what I had always lived by, but the more we all stayed, the more I started to wonder if this was what a real family was. Cardo, Chiara, and I were a family, but I wasn’t sure Mom fit into that anymore—if she ever had.
Her bedroom door flung open and I clenched my hands on the table, thankful that Cardo and Chiara had almost finished eating.
“Eat up,” I told them, standing so that I was prepared for anything.
“Mateo!” Mom screeched, followed by more bangs, but these were closer this time. She appeared in the doorway to the living room, her hair matted to the side of her face, her lips cracked and dry, and her clothes soiled. I wasn’t sure how long she’d worn them, but it was definitely more than a couple of days now. “Where the fuck is it?”
“Where’s what?” I asked calmly, quickly glancing at the kids. Cardo stood, taking Chiara’s hand. He knew the drill. I distracted her so they could escape to their room.
“Don’t play stupid with me, boy.” She wagged her finger and stumbled closer to me. I turned, waving my hand behind my back to signal the kids. “You ain’t too old for a spankin’.”
My nostrils flared, my anger building the closer she got. “What do you need?” I asked, feeling my shoulders slump when I spotted the kids run through the doorway, and when the click of their bedroom door rang out, I could breathe a little easier.
“Money.” She halted a foot away from me, and I screwed up my nose at the stench coming off of her. She pushed her hand into my chest, but I didn’t move a single inch. I wasn’t the same kid she used to be able to push around. I put up with her shit because she was my mom, but her tether to me was fraying, and I was ready to put an end to the bullshit. “You leave me here all day with the kids. You know what it’s like to look after those two little shits?” She laughed, showcasing her half-rotten teeth. “I should lock them in the damn cupboard.” She paused, tilting her head to the side. “Just like I used to do to you.”
I tried not to let her words affect me, but it was impossible. It felt like I was back there, in that tiny kitchen cupboard that she’d lock me in for hours on end. Sometimes I wasn’t sure if she genuinely forgot I was there or did it on purpose.
“I’ll do it,” she threatened.
“You won’t,” I gritted out, pushing my shoulders back. I wasn’t that little boy anymore, whether she saw me like that or not.
“Give me money and I won’t.” She grinned, like she’d just won an epic argument, but what she didn’t know was that I would happily give her twenty bucks to get her out of here for a few hours. So I reached into my pocket, pulled out a bill, and handed it to her.
She held it up in victory, waving it in the air, then stumbled toward the apartment door. Cold air blasted through as she flung it open, and without a single look back at me, she left, leaving the door open in her wake.
“Fuck,” I whispered under my breath, darting for the door. My hand gripped the handle harder than it ne
eded to, and just as I was about to close it, I spotted a figure on the same curb Chiara had been sitting on earlier.
I narrowed my eyes, letting them adjust to the darkness outside.
Luna. She was still out there.
I took a step forward but stopped myself. I had enough shit happening in my own life, I didn’t need to get involved in someone else’s. So I closed the door, shutting myself off from the rest of the world.
CHAPTER 4
LUNA
Everything seemed dimmer since my parents had relapsed. Like somehow the sky wasn’t as blue. The grass wasn’t as green. The saturation on my life was turned way down, and I didn’t know what to do to turn it back up again. I was wading through each day, not knowing which way to turn.
I went to my classes daily, then spent as much time as I could at the library, but at the end of the day, I still had to go back to that small apartment where they got high on a cacophony of drugs. Meth, heroin, cocaine. You name it, they’d taken it. And almost as if they were making up for lost time, there was more than there ever had been.
My sleep was messed up being woken at all hours of the night. I was sure someone in the apartment block would have complained by now—in fact, I wanted them to, at least then it may have put a stop to it.
But I wasn’t so lucky. And it continued.
They didn’t care how it affected me. They didn’t even seem to remember I was there most of the time. Just like last night when they’d put the deadbolt on the door which meant I couldn’t get into the apartment until someone left at four this morning.
I was running late, tiredness taking ahold of my body and not letting go no matter how much caffeine I consumed. The bus dropped me off outside the campus, and I huffed out a breath because my first class of the day was on the opposite side.
Mateo Caputo: Unseen Underground Page 4