by S. D. Grimm
“See what I mean? A little scary.” Quinn smiled.
“You don’t like to be sneaked up on?” He stood and thought to offer her his hand but refrained.
“Does anyone?” She gazed into his eyes. “I like your smile.” She stepped back and bit her lip. “Is that a normal thing to say? I’m not sure I say the right things around you. You know, like what I’m supposed to say.”
“You can say what you want to around me.”
She nodded and dipped her head, offering a glance out of the corner of her eye. Her cheeks flushed.
“Quinn, I like your smile, too.” Possibly too much.
“Really?”
“Yes. And I’m really sorry about being so hard on you about the book. And for not being the one to rescue you from that island.”
“But you did rescue me. You heard me when no one else did. And you sent the others. You really have nothing to apologize for.”
Oh, but he did. He needed to apologize for the things he was going to do. The power inside him surged, and it was stronger than ever before. He tried to tamp it down, but it begged to be let out. Slowly, he backed away from Quinn. “I’ll meet you at your tent in an hour?”
She offered another shy smile before she walked away.
He turned and faced the stream. The water started to steam. Bubble. And he pushed his power back inside before everything in the cool water died.
Chapter 45
Transformation
The soft purr vibrated in Ryan’s ear. Soft, growing harder.
“The transformation is complete. You can run, but you can never hide. If you destroy me, I will take you down with me. Half your heart is mine. Half is enough for now. You’re mine.”
A lion looked at him, and Ryan recognized those yellow-moon eyes. But this lion was no longer white. Now it was red. And this time he knew who it was—the Mistress of Shadows. This whole time he’d been anchoring her here. Giving her a way to survive out of her prison. And he couldn’t get rid of her. Massive paws pressed against his back. Sharp claws sliced into his shredded skin. He screamed.
“Ryan?”
His entire body shook, and he opened his eyes to see Ethan above him. “Hey, easy.” Ethan held out a hand to calm him.
A figure moved behind Ethan. Ryan’s heart jumped. Belladonna. He scrambled to grab his sword and held it out as he stood up on his scattered blankets. “Look out.”
“Ryan?” Her voice sounded so much like Serena’s. Ethan had stepped in front of the blade and blocked Ryan’s view of the Healer.
“Ryan? It’s Serena.”
Serena.
Her form faded. Changed. No longer Belladonna. It was Serena. And he wasn’t in the dungeon. This was his tent. He dropped his weapon and sank to his knees. “I’m sorry, I—”
Ethan squeezed his shoulder. “You were calling her name, so I brought her in here. I couldn’t wake you.”
Ryan held in a sob and punched the ground. Not his smartest move. Something in his hand cracked. He stifled the urge to hold it against his chest.
“Hey, you’re all right. Now.” Ethan’s eyes were hard. Ryan understood the look. Ethan’s next words confirmed it. “I will kill her for what she did to you.”
Serena stood by the tent flap, looking unsure as to whether or not she should be there. “Would you like me to heal you?”
No.
No.
The word echoed in his being like a fearful whisper. No healing. No more healing. Healing made him a prisoner. Prisoner to his own weakness.
His heartbeat seemed to slow as he looked into her eyes. “Why are you asking?”
“Healers have to ask if—if you’re conscious that is.” She smiled.
“You really need to be at your strongest,” Ethan said.
“I think I’ve had enough healing for a lifetime.”
Ethan tilted his head, as if he might protest, but Ryan shook his head.
“I’ll take it if I need it,” Ryan said.
Ethan nodded. “I’ll walk Serena out.” He placed his hand on her shoulder, and as soon as they left, Ryan raced out into the blinding sun. “Blaze?”
“Dragons heal fast. We don’t let unicorns heal us if we don’t have to. It’s consistent. But you are afraid, friend. She’s not your enemy.”
Ryan climbed on his friend’s back. Warmth flooded through the scales, heating Ryan from the chill in the frosty air. “I thought of her every time Belladonna tortured me. Serena’s face. Her smile. I don’t even know why I was so attached to her.”
“She’s captivating for a human, I suppose.”
Ryan chuckled. “Yes. But it’s more than that. Her heart is different. All she wants to do is take away hurt. Belladonna wanted to give it.” So different. “Does the Mistress still have a hold on me?”
“You broke the bond. I have your heart now, but only half of it. You have to be careful not to give more than half back to her. She doesn’t own you, but she will try to. You’re still her vessel.”
“The venom is in me. It makes me dangerous.”
“You are dangerous without it.”
“But it’s not under my control, is it?”
“The venom begs you to listen to it. You can’t open that part of yourself or she’ll be there waiting. When you sleep, I feel it calling to you. Perhaps there is something you can do to stop it. A potion?”
“I’ve had enough of potions. Let’s just put the Mistress away. Then I can lock up that part of my heart for good.”
Chapter 46
A Wager
Ethan patted Zephyr’s feathered chest. “Maybe you should wait here.”
“While you approach that dragon? I don’t think so.”
He eyed his friend askance. “You sense a threat?”
“No. I just don’t particularly trust dragons.”
“Well, that is my brother, and I trust him with my life.” Ethan motioned toward Ryan, who leaned against the green dragon’s leg.
“I’m coming with you.”
Ethan shook his head, smiling, and walked toward Ryan, with Zephyr following. He stared at the dragon’s spiked tail, leathery wings, and massive claws. Amazing. Then he stopped in front of Ryan and tipped his chin toward the massive creature.
Ryan gestured toward Zephyr. “A gryphon, huh? I should have expected nothing less.”
Ethan chuckled. “A dragon, Ry? I would have put you with a fox or something.”
Ryan smiled. “I am rather clever.”
“Sly.”
“Extremely handsome.”
“I wouldn’t go that far.”
“Charming.”
Ethan laughed. His eyes trailed Blaze’s massive wings. “You like flying?”
“It’s the best. Like jumping off all those cliffs in Nivek when we dove into the lake—and then being able to jump back up. It’s amazing.”
“Want to see which is faster? Gryphon or dragon?”
Ryan’s eyes practically glittered. “You don’t stand a chance. Plus, Blaze breathes fire.”
“Oh. And you?”
Ryan stared at his hands. His smile left for a moment. He turned his palms over, and a flame ignited in his hand. “Whoa.”
Ryan nodded, staring at the mercurial flame. Then he curled his fingers into a fist and extinguished it. “I thought it was part of the taint inside me. I didn’t realize it was a talent. Not until I bonded to Blaze.” He paused. “I used it that night in the palace—when Jayden killed Idla. I set a black lion on fire. It almost killed me, and I–I just set it on fire.”
“Oh. Ryan, I didn’t—”
“I guess we’ve just been fighting to stay alive. We haven’t really had a chance to stop and let our thoughts catch up. At least I haven’t.”
Ethan crossed his arms. “I’d like to say I’ll be glad when this is over, but truth be told, I don’t know if I will be. Slowing down will only let all the loss flood in. You know?”
“I do.” Ryan squeezed Ethan’s shoulder. “Which is why I can’
t lose you, brother. I can’t lose any more.”
Ethan’s throat felt thick. “Ryan, I’m sorry I lost Chloe. I keep losing them. I—you brought me in when I had no one, and you treated me like family, and this is how I repay you? I—”
“Ethan.” Ryan’s incredulous look stopped him. “You trying to save our sisters in the middle of this war is not repayment. It’s because you love them. So don’t blame yourself. I don’t blame you. I’m mourning with you. And you—you’re my brother. Always have been. There’s no treating you like family. You are family.” He glanced down at the ground. Then he met Ethan’s gaze. “You came for me. I knew you would. When I was in that . . . when I need you, you always come for me.”
“I always will.”
“That’s what worries me.”
“Hey, we’re all in this together. We’re stronger together. If we let the Mistress strip us apart, we’re weaker. You don’t have to do this alone. If you do, you’ll probably fail.”
Ryan looked at Ethan, and his eyes narrowed as he smiled. “That sounds a little out of character for you.”
“He’s right.” Zephyr chuckled.
Ethan let out a soft laugh as he looked anywhere but at Ryan. “It is.” He made eye contact with his brother. “But it’s time to start believing it.”
Ryan paused. Stared at his hands. “I can’t help but feel like I’m the one holding you all back.”
“Because you got poisoned? It wasn’t your fault. You’re one of us.”
“Not just that, Ethan.” Ryan ran his fingers over Blaze’s scales. “The things she . . . Belladonna . . .” His hand curled into a fist, and heat flared in his eyes. The heat of revenge. “Sh-she used her healing to . . . control me. She made me . . .” He paused, steadying the shake in his voice.
Ethan gripped Ryan’s shoulder.
Ryan breathed deep. “I believed I loved her. I don’t think I can ever let a Healer touch me again.” He swallowed. “I’m sorry. Serena . . .”
“Hey.” Ethan squeezed Ryan’s shoulder, and his chest ached. He needed Belladonna to pay for what she’d done. She deserved a fate worse than death. “Serena will be fine. Okay?”
Ryan nodded.
Ethan tried to gain eye contact. “Do not apologize. What that evil woman did to you is”—he clenched his jaw, tamping down anger—“don’t apologize for what she did to you. Serena will understand. And you have time to figure it out.”
Ryan still wouldn’t look up.
Ethan dropped his hand from his brother’s shoulder. “Ryan, I know you feel like you lost a piece of yourself in there. Your self-control.”
Ryan’s eyes snapped up to meet his.
Ethan clenched his fists. “I want to kill her for hurting you. But you won’t get back what you lost by punishing yourself.”
“Look at you, growing up.” There was an edge to Ryan’s voice.
Ethan scoffed.
Ryan shook his head. “I’m sorry. You’re right.”
“I know.” Ethan smiled.
Ryan laughed and smacked Ethan’s arm, harder than a typical playful punch. “Idiot.”
Ethan held his hands out, palms up, and laughed. “What did I do to deserve that?”
“Jayden said you jumped in front of a sword to save a Healer. A Healer! You really do have a death wish, don’t you?” He made to smack Ethan’s arm again, but Ethan blocked him.
Ryan cocked an eyebrow.
Ethan smiled. “I said two free hits. You’ve exceeded your limit.”
“Right. Well, let’s just get one thing settled.”
“What’s that?”
Ryan’s eyes grew dark. “Belladonna’s mine.”
Ethan nodded. He’d let Ryan kill her, but he’d be there to make sure Ryan didn’t die doing it. “All right, but I’d like to settle something else.”
“What’s that?”
“Gryphons are faster.” He mounted Zephyr, and Ryan jumped on Blaze’s back.
“You’re on.”
Chapter 47
Facing Fears
Cold air pressed against Jayden’s face as Stormcloud flew through the clouds. She shivered, but at least it wasn’t snowing yet. Snow. Her death would be in snow. Her heart clutched. Maybe she’d die years from now. In the cold snow.
“I think it’s time to talk to him.” Stormcloud said as she landed and Jayden saw Ethan sparring. Her heart leapt into her throat. What would she say to him? She wanted to help him, but he was—the person he loved died. The moment Chloe had told him she loved him—and he’d reciprocated her love!—she’d died. In his arms.
Those scars were too much for Jayden to handle right now.
Every time he reached out to comfort her, she thought of how she was supposed to die, too, and she didn’t want to cause him that kind of heartache. It was time to do what she should have so long ago.
It was time to push him away.
He ended his sparring session and, laughing, sheathed his weapon and took a seat away from the other sparrers. And his sorrow rushed into her like a waterfall. She stared at him, heart ripping more with each beat. And he saw her. Hope rose in him.
Oh, Ethan. He was more important than her feelings. And this was for the best.
She slid off Stormcloud’s back and approached him. His warm smile lured her closer than she had planned to sit, but she was still farther than arm’s length from him. His brown eyes flicked toward her for a moment, and she caught the pools of sorrow in them. Sorrow he didn’t show in his convincing smile.
She didn’t dare touch him; too many feelings would open up in her heart if she did. “How are you?”
He breathed deep, as if he wanted to speak and didn’t at the same time. Who was she kidding? It didn’t really matter how Ethan felt—whether he’d loved Chloe more. Jayden loved him. What he needed mattered most.
She pulled him close, and he wrapped his arms around her. Held her so strong. And he rested his cheek on her head. His emotions rolled over her: pain, sorrow, hurt, anger, and . . . love. He felt loved. By her. She hugged him tighter.
Slowly the love blossomed in his heart. Beat by beat, it surpassed the feelings of hurt and pain. Sorrow remained, but love pulsed beside it.
“I’m so sorry, Ethan,” she whispered. “What do you need?”
“Just this.”
Her heart fluttered and her throat tightened. Why hadn’t she comforted him sooner?
He released his hold and looked deep into her eyes. “How are you holding up?”
“I’m feeling ready to put this witch back where she belongs.”
He nodded, the intensity behind his eyes burning her heart with his emotions. “I won’t let her take anyone else I love.” He grabbed Jayden’s hands and shifted so he almost faced her straight on. “Jay—”
“Chloe loved you.” Her voice cracked. It wasn’t supposed to crack.
His eyebrows rose and he shook his head. “I—I know. I had no idea. Sh-she loved me.”
“I know.”
“You knew?”
“No—well, yes, but only for a few weeks.”
“Y-you—why didn’t you say something?”
“Should I have?”
He shook his head. “No. It just surprised me.”
The strange smile he gave her didn’t resemble a look someone gave when they were relieved, but that’s what he felt. Relief. And . . . some kind of happiness. He still gripped both of her hands.
“I should have told you. You deserved to know. You could have . . .”
He narrowed his eyes. “Could have what?”
“I don’t know.” She pulled her hands out of his grip, and he stared at her. Stared. As if her reaction amazed him. Really? Was it so amazing that Chloe had loved him? After everything, could he not see it? It had been so obvious. And right there for the taking.
“Jayden,” he grabbed her hands again, but she pulled away. He cocked his head. “You thought I was in love with Chloe?”
“You told her—when she was—you adm
itted it.”
“She was dying.”
“I’m sorry she’s gone. I wanted you to be happy.”
He leaned back, and his dark eyes scanned her face. The hint of his lopsided smile spread his lips. “Jayden, are you doubting my love for you?”
That statement bore so much hope.
His eyes squinted as he watched her, as if he expected an answer.
She shook her head. “I might have, I guess. A little. I mean—”
This time when he trapped her hands, she didn’t resist. He tugged her closer. “The correct answer is ‘never.’ ”
“Never,” she repeated without meaning to.
He tilted his head, and one corner of his mouth darted up. “That’s right. Now, let me make this absolutely clear.” He placed something in her palm. She curled her fingers around the object but didn’t tear her gaze from his. Those brown eyes almost sparkled. The object was cool in her hands. Smooth. Except for one side where there were grooves. Grooves on a polished stone. Her heart hammered. She didn’t want to look in case this wasn’t real. Wasn’t what she hoped it was.
He smiled. “Take a look.”
Slowly she opened her hand.
Her breathing hitched on her heartbeat. A stone. She couldn’t breathe. A marriage stone? There was a picture on it. She’d felt the etchings, but they lay against her palm, and with her hands currently shaking, she feared flipping it over. Wasn’t she supposed to be pushing him away?
“Jayden, I pledge my heart to you, if you’ll have it.”
She sucked in a breath and tears formed. She curled her fingers around the stone and pressed her fist into her forehead as laughter and tears mingled.
He tried to nudge her hand away. “Don’t hide. At least look at it. Or say something.”
Still clutching the stone tight, she held her fist over her heart. Tears leaked out of her eyes. She couldn’t push him away. She was too weak. She loved him too much. “Oh, Ethan. Of course, I accept. I accept and I return your pledge.”
He leaned in and kissed her. So deep, she lost every thought. She felt the stone in her hand, felt every touch of his fingers against her neck, her skin. His emotions tapped on her heart. Swirled into her being. And the love there made her ache. Made her want to sing.