by S. D. Grimm
How had she ever doubted his love?
He found her hand and uncurled her fingers. “Do you like it?”
It was blue—dark blue—with a crack along one side. She ran her finger over the crack. Lightning. Beneath it reared a horse with wings. How long had it taken him to etch that? “Stormcloud.” She looked into his waiting eyes. “I love it.”
“That’s a relief.”
He felt so strangely vulnerable. As if he wasn’t sure she’d like it. Confident Ethan feeling unsure? She grabbed his hand. “You know I love you.”
Ethan breathed deep and all his walls dropped. True emotion flooded into her as though she’d turned on her talent. And her ears didn’t just tingle—her whole body did. He’d never felt so vulnerable and alive at once. The electricity crackled between them. And this kiss shot lightning through her blood. Into her soul. Left her stunned with her eyes closed even after.
He ran his fingers over her cheek, and his breath heated her ear. “Never, ever doubt my love.”
She opened her eyes and looked into his. Love pulsed from his—so strong, so pure, and so alive. She brushed her fingers over the side of his face and smiled. “I won’t.”
Never again.
Chapter 48
Hidden Answers
Serena sat in her tent and flipped through the pages of the counters book. The way it was set up, she had to actually know the name of the spell to find the counter. But she didn’t know which spell had been placed on the Black Blood Army to make the venom pulse through their blood yet not taint their hearts. And she didn’t know which spell Belladonna had placed on Ryan to make him love her.
Love.
To think that someone called this fake and forced attachment by the same term as the true and freely given emotion. Well, more than that. Love, real love, was much more than emotion. It was a decision. A powerful force no man could destroy. What Belladonna had taken from Ryan was not love, no matter what she called it.
What Ryan called it.
She sighed and flipped another page. First she had to go through the symptoms listed at the top of each counters spell to find out which one she might need. Finding the counter to Ryan’s spell might not be easy, but hopefully finding the black blood counter would be easier. Either way, she was tired of this stupid book and the way the descriptions of these spells made her skin feel oily and gross.
Quinn walked into the tent, her eyes on Serena though her head hung low and defeated.
Serena placed her finger in the page of the book. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
Quinn folded her hands in her lap and sat cross-legged on the ground near Serena. “I think Connor doesn’t want to marry me.”
Ah. The betrothals. That heartache weighed heavy on her, too. And Quinn had been so excited and nervous to meet her Wielder. Serena smiled. “Connor is very driven. He might not show his feelings readily.”
Quinn nodded, staring at the ground.
Serena bumped her shoulder against Quinn’s to try and cheer her. “What did he say? Perhaps I can help you unravel it.”
“He said he would rather wed someone because of love than an ancient betrothal.”
“That’s good.”
Quinn’s head popped up. “It is?”
“It means he wants you to love him, not feel like you have to marry him.”
“How would you get that?”
“Trust me. Betrothals are something that oftentimes both parties don’t agree to. I see the way Connor tries not to look at you. He wants you to know you have a choice. If you choose to fall for him, then he’ll be willing to let his feelings show.”
Quinn stared at her with her mouth open. “Really?”
“Yes. You probably just need to talk to him more.”
“About what? I mean, I don’t think I’m good at talking to people.”
Serena smiled. This was actually a welcome break from all the dark magic in that book. “Well, ask him how he’s doing. Have you talked to him about that? Maybe ask him how he’s adjusting with his arm?”
Quinn sat silent for a moment, her eyebrows drawn together. “Is Connor bonded to wolves?”
Serena cocked her head. “I’m not sure that’s the right term. He’s a Wielder, he’s bonded to many things. Why do you ask?”
“Because when I told him I was afraid of wolves, he started acting a little funny. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he seemed a little hurt.”
“Oh, Quinn. Connor is a wolf.”
“What?”
“He can change his form to be a wolf.”
Quinn’s eyes rounded. “Oh no. That’s why he thinks I don’t want to wed him?”
She touched Quinn’s shoulder. “Are you afraid of him?”
“No. Maybe I should tell him?”
Serena hoped her grin caused Quinn to let go of her anxiety about this. “It wouldn’t hurt.”
With a lighter face, Quinn pulled out her book. “Then I will. When he comes by later.”
Serena sighed. At least Connor wasn’t avoiding Quinn. Ryan, well, he’d been nowhere near her since they returned from the funeral. Perhaps he did hate her now simply because she was a Healer. Didn’t seem fair.
She searched in the book until Quinn fell asleep, then she took a break to cover the Whisperer with a blanket.
A few moments later, Connor showed up. “Is Quinn around?”
“Sleeping.” Serena met him at the door and invited him inside.
“Do you think she’d mind if I looked at the Whisperer book while she slept?”
“Not at all.” She took it from the sleeping Quinn, careful not to disturb her. “You think this has the answers you need?” She handed him the book.
He nodded toward the spell book she carried. “May we both find the answers we need quickly.”
There was no arguing with that. She motioned to his severed arm. “I’m sorry I couldn’t—”
“No, no.” He slid the book under his arm, pinning it to his body, and touched her shoulder with his free hand. “Your healing saved me. Thank you.”
That made her feel better. At least it reminded her that not everyone around here hated her power. Just Ryan. She clutched the spell book tight and exited the tent. Connor followed until they parted ways at Logan’s tent. Serena found Dash lying in the sunshine beneath the solitude of a tall, lonely tree. She sat and leaned against him, then opened the book again.
“Um, can I join you?”
Serena looked up and stared as Ryan stood in front of her, scratching the back of his neck.
Dash chuckled. “Well, are you going to answer the boy?”
She knew she should stop before he caught her staring, but it was too late. Now he’d entrapped her, and there was nothing she could do. Except stare. And feel her heart pounding.
“Serena?”
“Please.” She moved over from Dash to lean against the tree instead. Then she touched the ground beside her, inviting Ryan to lean against the tree, too.
“Are you sure you’re okay with this?”
“Yes.” She composed herself and straightened her spine, but her insides wanted to melt.
He rubbed the back of his neck again and motioned to the book. “I’d like to help.”
“It’s a start.” Dash’s voice cut into her thoughts, but he chuckled. “You’re going to scare him away if you don’t stop staring.”
Serena turned her attention back to the book and flipped a few pages. “I really don’t know what I’m looking for. It gives names of the spells. Then it gives the counter. I don’t know the name for the spell she used. There are lists of symptoms.”
He sidled closer to her, and his arm brushed against hers. He didn’t move away at the touch. In fact, he seemed to relax. She tried to remain nonchalant about the fact that his contact made her skin flush. Slowly, she turned another page.
He chuckled and the rumble in his chest vibrated into her. “Coon paw? Now that’s a strange spell name.”
She snatched another l
ook at him and the way the smile lightened his face as he searched the book. It reminded her of that first time they’d met. Her heart fluttered that part of him was still that same Ryan.
He curved his hand into a hook that looked nothing like the rendering of the coon’s paw in the book and made a funny face. “I didn’t see any inhuman hands, so I don’t think this is the one.”
Serena laughed at his impression. “Coon’s paw is a plant. See?” She motioned to the plant at the same time as he touched the picture and said, “Oh. I see.”
Their fingers brushed and they froze. He gripped her hand, and her gaze snapped up to him.
He squeezed her hand and his eyes rounded. “Thank you, Serena. For coming after me. For helping me break the bond. I know I haven’t really been—I’m not trying to avoid you. I—well, yes I am, but not for the reasons you think.” His fingers trailed across her sensitive skin.
She stayed still and quiet in case he wanted to finish. In case any movement or sound would break this.
He let go of her hand. “I hardly know you. But I feel . . . I feel very close to you.”
“The bond created the night we were born does that. I mean, you haven’t known Blaze very long, and the two of you are quite close. Bonds are funny things.”
A sly smile hit his face and reminded her of the spark in his eyes that had since dulled. “You don’t seem to like flying on dragons.”
She laughed. “You noticed? It’s not the dragon; it’s being far above the earth. I didn’t realize how terrifying it would be.”
“Terrifying and amazing.” He caught her in a sideways glance. “At least fascinating.”
She smiled at his use of the word she’d overused during their first meeting. And her heart felt lighter. “Definitely fascinating.”
“And I don’t mind if you have to nearly squeeze me in half to stay on.” He looked at her shyly.
“In half? I wasn’t that scared.”
He smirked. “You were pretty scared.” The smirk left. Only a small smile remained. And his eyes were the heart of it. “I’m sorry the fact that you’re a Healer makes me uncomfortable.”
Oh, Ryan. What has that evil woman done to you? “It’s understandable. But I’m not like her.”
“I know.” He whispered and pointed to his head. “I know that here.” Then he placed his hand over his heart. “This needs convincing.”
Her throat grew thick. “Then I’ll do everything I can. Whatever you need.”
He looked up at her, his gaze asking if she was serious.
She touched her chest where her heart thrummed. “I can’t lie.”
“Thank you.” Then his gaze fell to the book in her lap. His eyes widened, and his shoulders rose and fell with quick breaths. “Look at this drawing. This is how they looked.”
She stared where his fingers traced the page. “What do you see?”
“This trancelike state. This is the army. This is the spell. Look. This is a black lion’s wing.”
“You’re sure.”
His voice turned cold. “I’m sure.”
“Thank you, Ryan.” She opened her arms to hug him, then wasn’t sure if she should. But he tucked her in close to him and held her as if he was hugging her for a different reason altogether. The type of healing she couldn’t perform with just one touch.
She rubbed her hand over his back and felt ridges of scars beneath her fingers. The pain he still carried because he wouldn’t let anyone heal him.
He let go and sprang back, as if he regretted touching her.
Had she offended him? Broken trust? “Ryan?”
His eyes narrowed to slits and he tucked his chin.
“Will you tell me what’s wrong?” she asked.
“I can’t let you heal me. I—”
“Whatever you need.”
He opened his mouth, but fear sparked in his eyes, and he stood. “Should we show Logan what we found?”
She nodded. “He’ll want to make the counters potion.”
“It said you needed white alor. Do you know where to get that?”
“Yes.”
“We’re headed back to black lion territory?”
Slowly she touched his shoulder, but he flinched so she pulled her hand back. “You’ll have Blaze this time. And if one of them so much as looks at you, I’ll absorb the poison.”
His eyes widened. “I can’t ask you to do that for me.”
“You didn’t.”
Chapter 49
Touch of Power
Connor watched Logan pace the floor of his tent like an agitated wolverine. “You’re sure?” Logan asked.
“If I try to search for the Mistress, she will reach out to me. She fell in love with the first Wielder. She has it in her head that I’m like him. The Mistress will call me to her. And she’s too weak to hide herself. We need to strike now. But I fear with the leaking of the black blood, everyone’s powers are weakening. The Deliverers might not be strong enough unless we unlock the Creator’s power.”
Rebekah sighed, and Connor glanced at all four of the people in the room with him: the Protectors—Rebekah, Logan, Gavin, and Melanie. Without them, the Deliverers might not make it to the thrones to claim the Creator’s power. Whether they knew it or not, their very presence blocked the Mistress from finding them. Except that as she grew stronger and her poison continued to spread, their shield of protection would wane.
“Morgan knows nothing?” Gavin asked.
Connor shook his head. Morgan had been one of the first people he’d talked to here. “She said she’s nearly blind to the future. She only has the handful of visions she’d already seen. Nothing new.”
“Our powers are dying.” Melanie stroked the mountain lion that still sat with her. Even that bond would fade the stronger the Mistress became. The more her black blood infected the land.
Connor straightened. “There might be a way, while she is this weak, without connecting to the Creator’s power. Let me talk to Quinn. Serena is searching for the cure for Belladonna’s connection to Ryan. Once that is broken, we need to go after the Mistress.”
Logan nodded. “In the morning I want to be away from here. The Mistress knows where she left us. And if she’s as weak as you say, we need to finish this now.”
Connor swallowed and nodded once before he exited. His mother’s voice followed him.
He paused and she touched his shoulder. “How are you?” She rubbed his maimed arm.
“Adjusting.”
She nodded. “As a wolf?”
He swallowed. “More as a man.”
“You’re alive.” She hugged him close and kissed his cheek as though he were a little boy. He didn’t mind. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“Good boy.” She ruffled his hair and smiled. “I see you’re lost in thought again. I’ll let you be, but please, do try and trust the others.”
“I will.”
“Good.” Rebekah returned to Logan’s tent, and Connor headed to Quinn’s.
He knocked and Jayden let him in, but Quinn was asleep. He held up the book he’d borrowed that he’d found practically useless without Quinn’s touch. “Do you mind if I wait for her to wake?”
“Of course not.” She smiled. “But I’m headed out.”
“Oh.” Connor froze. He started to follow her. “I probably shouldn’t—”
She shrugged. “Wait outside the tent if you want. Quinn will want to know her book is here, though.”
“Sure.” He stepped out with her and sat down beside the tent, opening the Whisperer book in his lap again. Perhaps he’d missed something the first time. Most of the pages were blank. A few random pages showed horrible things that had happened to Quinn. It was probably better that no one else could see the rest; it kept things secret. But he needed to know if there was another way. A way beyond his powers. A way that wouldn’t kill all of them.
He’d saved Luc that day he’d blown up the smithy. But saving one person and saving an a
rmy were two different things entirely.
Your power is you.
The thought came unbidden. He wanted to deny it with everything inside of him, but a surge of his power filled him. Thundered in his ears. Begged for release. This came stronger than before, and Connor gritted his teeth.
Something touched his shoulder, and Connor whipped his head around. Quinn hunched over him in the doorway of the tent. Her hazel eyes looked deep into his, and his body started to shift. Change.
Skin.
Fur.
No! Focus. He jerked away from her and stood, letting the book fall to the ground.
She’d . . . she’d touched him.
He swallowed as fire seemed to course through his veins. Warm first, then cool. Then ice. Then blood he could feel pumping through his body vein for vein, warming him up. Sending his power into every part of his being. He was armed now. A deadly weapon. How could he have been so careless?
Quinn stepped one foot out of the tent, hand extended as if she meant to touch him again. “Are you all right?”
“No!” He backed away from her. His heart hammered. “You touched me!” He covered his chest with his right hand, which meant it was still exposed for her to see. Everything inside of him thrummed. It was like electricity in his veins. “How could you?”
He needed to control it. He breathed in, but everything felt hot. Too hot. Like he was going to explode. He needed to leave. To blow something up.
“Was I not supposed to?”
He stumbled back from her, his mind alive with fear. “Get away from me!”
Her eyes rounded, and she backed up toward the tent. “I’m sorry.” Her voice was nearly a whisper. But she leaned forward and picked up the book. “I’m sorry,” she said again. This time her words sounded choked. She didn’t look up at him. Just let her hair cover her face as she backed into the tent, letting the flap close her off from him.
He had to leave.
Connor scrubbed his shaking hand over his face. What have I done? He’d scared her off. He squeezed the bridge of his nose. But she’d touched him. Still wasn’t a reason to yell at her.