Isaac's Decision

by Ruth Ann Nordin

  He rolled his eyes and decided to ignore his little brother while Rachel returned to sitting with Rose and Harriett so she could watch them. The socks on his feet made his footsteps silent as he made his way down the hall. When he reached the kitchen, he slowed to a stop.

  His mother was at the worktable with a large bowl in front of her that she’d been stirring and his father was behind her, his arms wrapped around her waist as he whispered something in her ear. She giggled and he kissed her neck.

  The whole scene caught Isaac by surprise. On one hand, he understood his parents loved each other, but he couldn’t recall actually seeing just how much in love they were, even after all the years they’d been married. But on the other, it embarrassed him to see them that way. Turning on his heels, he softly walked back down the hall and then spun around. This time when he made his way toward the kitchen, he stomped so that they’d hear him. By the time he returned, his mother was stirring the contents in her bowl and his father was pouring himself a cup of coffee.

  “You stayed out late,” his mother said, glancing in his direction.

  “Yes.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged. “It was an eventful afternoon.” That much was true.

  “What did you get?” his father asked.

  “Two deer,” Isaac replied.

  “Two deer?” His father put the coffee pot down and looked at him with respect. “That’s good hunting.”

  Unable to think of what else to say, he nodded.

  He took a drink from his coffee before he placed the cup on the worktable. “Let me get my coat, and I’ll help you with the deer.”

  Isaac waited while his father kissed his mother on the cheek and then walked with him to the closet by the front door. As he put on his coat and boots, Isaac slipped into his own boots. He glanced at Jacob who was beating Adam at checkers, even though he was younger. Jacob clapped his hands and took another one of Adam’s checkers. Figuring that Jacob was preoccupied, Isaac decided to speak though they were still inside the house. “Pa, I don’t think I’ll be going back to the school.”

  His eyebrows furrowed. “But I thought you wanted to spend more time working on math so you could figure out the best ways to plant crops.”

  “I feel like I’ve learned all I can.” Clearing his throat, he followed his father out of the house, glad they were safely out of Jacob’s hearing, just in case the little weasel decided to listen in on their conversation. “Besides, some things have to be learned through experience, and I’ve been working with you for the past three years on figuring out the best ways to handle planting and harvesting.”

  They walked down the porch steps and his father sighed. “That’s true, but you only planned to go to school for another two months. It might be worthwhile to stick it out at this point.”

  “I could still take everyone to the schoolhouse and bring them home.”

  “No, it’s not that. I don’t have much going on in the winter.”

  “So, what’s the hesitation for?”

  When they reached the buckboard, they climbed into it and his father released the brake. Urging the horses forward, he said, “Sometimes you do something because it’s in your best interest to do it, even though you feel it’s not necessary.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “What I mean is that Eva is there.”

  Though Isaac knew exactly what his father meant, he asked, “So?”

  His father looked at him as if he couldn’t believe the reply he just received. “So?”

  Isaac shrugged.

  “Eva’s a good woman, the kind you’ll want to marry.”

  “No, she’s not.”

  He sighed as the horses neared the barn. “Look, you’re only seventeen. You don’t know much about women.”

  “Well, you didn’t know anything about women when you married Ma.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “You never courted a woman. Ma came out here as a mail-order bride, and you married her the same day you met her.”

  “I had an older sister and a younger sister to deal with. Believe me, when you have sisters who aren’t afraid to tell you what they want, you figure women out real quick.”

  “Well, I have sisters, too, and they don’t teach me anything when it comes to courting.”

  “Because they’re not old enough.”

  Isaac rolled his eyes. It was becoming clear to him that his father thought he knew everything, and that realization was aggravating him to no end.

  “It’s not a good idea for you to quit going to school just as we were making progress with Eva.”

  “We were making progress?” Isaac shrieked, not believing the way his pa worded the sentence. “Will you listen to yourself? You act like you’re the one who’s going to marry her.”

  “Whoever you marry will be a part of this family.”

  “So?”

  “So it affects everybody. Do you know why we have a good time when we go to your grandparents and all the family is there? Because we all get along.”

  “You only want me to marry Miss Connealy because you like her parents?”

  “No, that’s not the only reason why.” His father shook his head and pulled the horses to a stop at the front of the barn. “We’ve had this conversation before, but since you don’t remember it, I’ll repeat myself. When you select a wife, you want a woman who’ll be a blessing to you, so you need to think with your head. Eva has all the characteristics that’ll make you happy. She’s got a good head on her shoulders, she’s kind, she’s generous—”

  Isaac groaned. “I am not interested in her. How many times do I have to tell you that?”

  “You haven’t given her a chance.”

  “Maybe I don’t want to give her a chance.”

  “Because of the Craftsman girl?”

  Why did it always come back to Emily? Isaac was careful not to mention Emily, but his pa, once again, had to bring her into the conversation. He shook his head. “This has nothing to do with her.”

  “I’m not a fool, Isaac. You think I don’t understand the meaning behind the looks you give her when you think no one else is looking? I’ve been to that schoolhouse enough to know what’s going on.”

  “If you’re so observant, then you also know I’m not interested in Miss Connealy.”

  He gritted his teeth and shifted on the seat of the buckboard. For a moment, he turned his face away from Isaac, and Isaac could only guess what he was waiting for. Most likely, he was telling himself to calm down before he spoke. When he finally looked at Isaac, his expression was controlled. “You’re making a mistake.”

  “If that’s true, then it’s my mistake to make.”

  He balked. “I can’t believe you’d say that. You think choosing a wife isn’t important? This is the one decision you can’t undo. If you make a mistake in any other area of your life, there’s a way out of it, but once you say the vows, that’s it. You’re in it no matter what. If she turns out to be the wrong kind of wife, you’re going to be miserable for the rest of your life.”

  His face warm from frustration, Isaac said, “Then that’s something I’ll have to live with.”

  “Just don’t marry the Craftsman girl.”

  “I don’t think it’s up to you to tell me who I can or can’t marry.”

  As soon as he said it, he regretted it. He didn’t like the hurt look on his father’s face. The words stung his father. Of course, they stung him. Even if Isaac thought his father was being unreasonable, everything his father had ever done for him had been done out of love. And now it was time for Isaac to make his own way in the world, which was harder on his father than he thought it would be. But just because it was difficult for his father, it still had to be done. Sooner or later, Isaac had to leave home. And there was nothing he could say to prepare his father for it. He was just going to have to do it.

  “I’m sorry, Pa,” he said, “but I’m not a little kid anymore.”

  After a tense moment o
f silence passed, he finally said, “I mean it, Isaac. Don’t marry the Craftsman girl.” Then he set the brake and hopped down from the wagon, signaling an end to the conversation.

  Realizing there was nothing else he could say, Isaac got down from the wagon to help him with the deer, and as he did, he understood that nothing would be the way as it’d always been between him and his father ever again. They’d crossed an invisible line that day, and though Isaac didn’t know what the ramifications would be, he knew he couldn’t obey his father in this one area of his life.

  Chapter Sixteen

  On Monday, Isaac talked his mother into letting him join her in going to town. At one point, he was afraid his father was going to come along, but his father decided to stay and take care of a few repairs since Isaac would be there to help her with the twins. On their way to town, his mother, who held Harriett in her lap while Rose slept beside her, asked, “You’re really not going back to school?”

  He shook his head. “I think I’m old enough to work.”

  “Does this decision have anything to do with your pa wanting to get you and Eva Connealy together?”

  Sighing, he glanced at her. “You don’t miss anything, do you?”

  She chuckled. “There wasn’t anything to miss. It was obvious you were in agony during the whole meal when Eva was over.” After a long moment passed, she continued, “You haven’t talked about Elmer since you said you were going to hunt with him, Wiley and Clayton. Well, you said he caught the second deer but nothing else. I thought you might’ve brought him back over for lunch.”

  Shifting uncomfortably in the buggy, he studied her profile while she stared at the hills in the distance. Did she know Elmer was really Emily? She hadn’t said anything when Emily was over at their house disguised as Elmer. But that didn’t mean much. She usually kept her observations to herself. He thought to ask but figured it might be best to let her say it if she knew.

  Turning her gaze to him, she smiled. “You’re right, Isaac. It’s time you left school. I’ve sensed a restlessness about you over the past couple months. As much as your pa wants you to stay young, you have to grow up sometime.”

  He nodded.

  “Will you wait until your pa and his brothers build you a house before you leave home?”

  He didn’t think he could. In fact, he was sure he couldn’t. There was no way his father would build a house that was intended for Emily. “I don’t think so, Ma.”

  “I see.”

  Wincing, he debated how he should tell her. While she might understand the situation about Emily, he couldn’t expect her to keep it a secret from his father. She probably suspected something was happening between him and Emily, even if she didn’t come right out and say it, but there was a big difference between suspecting something and knowing it. Deciding it was best that she didn’t know, he chose to keep quiet. His father was going to be furious when he found out that Isaac was going to marry Emily, and there was no need for his father to be mad at her for not telling him.

  As he led the horses onto the street that would take him to his Aunt Sally’s house, his mother said, “Whatever you do, make sure you’ve given it a lot of thought and prayer.”

  Feeling that was safe enough, he consented to her request. Four blocks later, he pulled the buggy to a stop in front of his aunt’s house. His mother woke up Rose while an anxious Harriett slid down her lap. He set the brake and quickly got Harriett before she could trip over the edge of the buggy and hurt herself.

  “You need to be more careful,” he told his sister as he set her feet on the ground and then helped his mother and Rose out of the buggy.

  “You should know by now Harriett’s the impulsive one of the two,” his mother said with a gleam in her eye. “Thank goodness, too, because otherwise I wouldn’t be able to tell them apart.”

  “I hope Harriett won’t be as bad as Jacob.”

  “Jacob only tries to irritate you because he knows it works. If you ignored him, he’d stop.”

  “That’s easier said than done.”

  “I’m sure it is.” She took her daughters’ hands in hers and asked, “Do you want to say hi to your aunt before you look for a job?”

  “No. I’ll come back when I’m done.” Glancing down the street that led to Ben Connealy’s lumber shop, he said, “Thanks for not mentioning this to pa.”

  “It’s not my place to tell him about the job. It’s yours.”

  “Yes, I know. It’s all a part of being a man. But there’s no point in saying anything until I get a job, right?”

  “If you say so. Good luck.” She smiled and led her impatient daughters up the porch steps.

  He turned to the buggy and slid back into the seat. Releasing the brake, he urged the horses forward. As he traveled the short distance to the lumber shop, he thought over what he’d tell his father. Sure, his plan had been to stay home until he was old enough to get the land granted by the Homestead Act, but with the way things were going, he’d have to marry the woman his father picked out for him if he did that. He didn’t understand what was so great about Miss Connealy. Sure, she was nice, but what did his father see in her to make him so eager to have Isaac marry her? Shaking his head, he decided to forget the question. Most likely, he’d never know.

  The horses pulled the buggy up to the lumber store, so he stopped them and set the brake. As he got out, he took a deep breath and examined the large building. Ben’s business was flourishing. There was no doubt about that. Isaac could work here until he turned twenty-one. That was only four years from now.

  Taking a deep breath, he headed into the store. The first thing he noticed was the smell of wood. The second thing he noticed were the stacks of different sizes and shapes of wood, including firewood. The third thing he noticed was the man at the counter who was ringing up someone’s order. Since he didn’t know where Ben was, he figured he’d better talk to the man at the counter, so he made his way over to the counter and waited behind the customer.

  When the customer was finished, the man handed him his slip of paper and told him to bring his wagon to the back of the building where someone would load up his order for him. Isaac wondered if that would be his job. Would he be putting men’s orders into their wagons? Too bad he never thought to ask Ben exactly what he wanted him to do.

  “May I help you?” the man behind the counter asked.

  Clearing his throat, Isaac took off his hat and nodded. “Is Ben Connealy here?”

  “Yes, he is. Can I tell him who wants to see him?”

  “My name is Isaac Larson.”

  “I’ll be right back.”

  Isaac thanked him and stepped away from the counter, wondering what it was going to be like working here. The store was pretty busy, making him aware of why Ben said they needed more help at the store. He released his breath. It was good that this place was busy. It meant he wouldn’t have to worry about a place to find employment, and when he married Emily, he’d have a way to support her. He shifted from one foot to the other as he considered the responsibilities looming before him. He wanted to be with her. Ideally, they’d have time to enjoy a courtship first, but by the way his pa spoke, he knew a courtship was out of the question. Perhaps he might get her father’s approval to marry her, but he’d never get his father’s approval. Though the thought bothered him, he pushed it aside. If he was going to assume the role of a man, he needed to act the part.

  He took another deep breath and assured himself that he could do this. He could get a job, find a place to live, and marry Emily. He’d provide for her, and in four years, he’d acquire land under the Homestead Act and be able to do what he wanted. It was going to take time, but he could get there. His plan was possible.

  Ben came around a corner of stacked lumber and smiled. “Morning, Isaac.”

  “Hi, Ben.”

  “You didn’t come all the way down here to tell me my sister wants more firewood, did you?” he teased. “I told her I might be late today because I had to see the
preacher this morning.”

  “Oh, that’s right. You’re getting married.”

  “Not too long now. So, what brings you here? It can’t be my sister.”

  “No, it’s not. I—” he shifted from one foot to the other and twirled his hat in his hands—“I was wondering if that job was still open. The one you keep bugging me about?”

  “I always have a job open for you, Isaac, but I thought you wanted to stick it out on your pa’s farm until you were twenty-one.”

  “Oh, well, I decided maybe it was time to grow up and get a job, you know?” He cleared his throat. “I still want to farm, but it’ll be in four years. You said I could work until then, if I wanted?”