Isaac's Decision

by Ruth Ann Nordin

“So?”

  “So, that’s awfully soon to have a child, don’t you think?”

  Alice remained quiet for a minute, and Emily could tell her friend was mentally calculating the months. “But you married in early in February. November is right on course for that time frame.” She gasped. “You and Isaac didn’t do anything before you married, did you?”

  “No, of course not. I’m not my real mother.”

  “I know you’re not her. I’m sorry. I just thought when you took this as bad news, that perhaps… Oh, well. Never mind. So if you and Isaac conceived the child after you married, what’s the problem?”

  “My real mother.”

  Furrowing her eyebrows, Alice shook her head. “I don’t understand.”

  “No one’s forgotten what she did or how I was conceived, especially Isaac’s father.”

  “I thought he was being good to you.”

  “He is and I don’t want to lose that.”

  “Giving him a grandchild will ruin the peace you two have?”

  “Once I give birth in November, everything will be fine as long as he doesn’t think I was expecting when I married his son.”

  Alice’s eyes widened. “I see. You’re afraid to tell anyone.”

  “I wouldn’t be if my real mother hadn’t done what she did. I’ve had to live with the shame of what she did my whole life. I’ve long ago given up on the notion that people would forget, and some are bound to think I’m following in her footsteps until I can prove otherwise. And I can’t prove otherwise until the baby is born.”

  “You can’t hide the fact that you’re expecting for long. Sooner or later, you’ll start to show.”

  “I know that. I wish I could hide it, but I know I can’t.”

  “Will you tell Isaac?”

  “I have to. He’s already suspicious since I can’t eat much of anything these days. I just don’t know how to tell him.”

  “Are you afraid he’ll think you’re carrying another man’s child?”

  She gulped the nervous lump in her throat. “I don’t know what he’ll think. His father told him all kinds of stories about my real mother before we got married.”

  “He wouldn’t have married you if he believed you were like her. You know that, don’t you?”

  Maybe on one level, she did, but getting pregnant so soon had brought out parts of her life she worked hard to forget. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath. When she opened them, her friend’s caring face settled her nerves. “I’ll tell Isaac. He needs to know.”

  “Good.” With a smile, Alice reached across the table and squeezed Emily’s hand. “You’ll be fine.”

  As she forced down another bite from her cookie, Emily could only hope her friend was right.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  By mid-April, Emily had no more success telling Isaac than at any other time since she realized she was expecting, but she was still having trouble eating, which made it harder to hide the truth from him. On this particular morning, she forced herself to eat breakfast with him before he was due to go to work. She opted to make eggs, knowing for sure the texture of the oatmeal would be her undoing. He already worried that she needed to see the doctor who also happened to be his Uncle Joel. If she threw up her meal, he’d haul her off to see his uncle immediately. So she didn’t dare try to swallow oatmeal.

  Once she set the table, she went to the bedroom where Isaac was tucking his shirt into his pants. “Breakfast is ready.”

  He glanced her way. “Are you feeling alright?”

  “I told you, I’m fine. I just don’t like to eat so much in the morning.”

  “You ate fine in the mornings right after we got married.”

  It was just her luck that he noticed how much she ate or didn’t eat before she got pregnant. She didn’t know why she assumed all men missed such details just because her father did. Shrugging, she said, “I don’t think I ate that much when we were first married.”

  He headed toward her and seemed to examine her with more concern than appreciation for her beauty. “You don’t look sick.”

  “See? I’ve been telling you that all along.”

  “But Uncle Joel says just because someone doesn’t look sick, they could be anyway.”

  “I’m fine, Isaac. There’s nothing wrong with me. Do you want to eat or argue before you go to work this morning?”

  A hurt look crossed his face. “I’m not trying to argue with you.”

  Wishing she’d chosen her words with better care, she smiled. “I’m sorry. I know you aren’t.” She motioned to the kitchen. “I decided to make scrambled eggs.”

  He put his arm around her shoulders and led her to the kitchen. “It looks great.” He kissed her and waited for her to sit before he sat across from her. After he took a drink of coffee, he asked, “I’m not annoying you, am I?”

  She dragged her gaze away from the scrambled eggs, which suddenly didn’t look as edible as they had just a minute ago, and made eye contact with him. “I know you’re concerned about me, but please believe me when I say I’m fine. I’m not sick.”

  Nodding, he set his cup down and picked up his fork. “Would you like to go hunting this Saturday?”

  “You want me to dress up as Elmer and go out to Wiley’s land again?”

  He laughed. “No. I told Wiley and Clayton that you’re a great hunter, and they said you could join us. This way, you don’t have to put on that horrible wig and mustache.”

  As he took a bite of his eggs, she shook her head in amusement. “What was so horrible with the wig and mustache?” She already knew the answer but wanted to hear him say it.

  “You’re much more attractive as Emily, and I can’t kiss you or get close to you if you pretend to be Elmer.” He paused and raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t bring Elmer’s clothes when you packed your things, did you?”

  “No, of course not. I only pretended to be Elmer to get close to you.”

  “Well, you don’t have to be Elmer to accomplish that.”

  Her cheeks warmed at his meaning. Granted, she wasn’t new to lovemaking anymore, but such intimate talk caused her stomach to flutter with those restless butterflies. When he stopped eating and stared at her, she realized he was waiting for her to eat something. She cleared her throat and straightened in her seat. She could do this. Even if she got through half the plate, it should satisfy him.

  She picked up her fork and took a deep breath. Glancing at him, she saw that he’d resumed eating with his usual gusto. She smiled at him and dug her fork into a small portion of her eggs. Here went nothing. She brought the fork up and forced it into her mouth. Her stomach rolled and she wished she had chosen something else for breakfast. This wasn’t going to be as easy as she hoped. Setting her empty fork down, she slowly chewed her food, wondering when her stomach might settle enough for her to swallow.

  Darting another glance in Isaac’s direction, she saw he wasn’t looking at her so she quickly brought her cloth napkin up to her mouth and spit the eggs out. She folded it over so he wouldn’t see the eggs and grabbed the cup of water to bring to her lips. If she sipped it, she’d be alright.

  “So, what do you say?” he asked.

  “About what?”

  “About hunting this Saturday. We can even make a bet if you want. I have better ideas than kissing you if I win.”

  She grinned. “I’m sure you do.” She took a sip of water and then set the cup back down.

  He wiggled his eyebrows at her. “Interested in seeing if I win or not?”

  She would have enjoyed hunting if the thought of being outside while nauseous and tired didn’t make her cringe. At least when she was in the apartment, she could lie down and close her eyes. “Actually, I think I’ll wait. You can go if you want, but I’d rather stay here and get some sewing in.”

  Alright, so she had nothing to sew, but a quick trip to the mercantile would take care of that. It wouldn’t hurt her to start on something for the baby anyway. Except, she couldn’t do tha
t because then he’d know. But he should know. He was the father of her baby and her husband. Great. Now she wasn’t just battling an upset stomach; she also had to tend to her nagging guilt.

  Isaac swallowed more of his eggs and sighed. “I was hoping you’d come along. You might win. Then I’d be at your mercy.”

  Since he was watching her, she put more eggs on her fork. “Maybe next time.”

  If I’m no longer sick most of the time. She put the fork into her mouth and fought the urge to wince. This wasn’t getting easier. She reached for the napkin and saw that he was still watching her. So much for spitting it out. She released the napkin and chewed in slow, methodical motions, hoping he didn’t see how she was tearing up in the process. Finally, she managed to swallow the food and her stomach tensed in protest.

  Looking satisfied, he returned his attention to his meal. She grabbed the cup again and took a good swallow of water, which turned out to be the exact opposite of what she should have done because now she felt worse than before. There was no way she could eat or drink anything else. Just looking at the drink and food on the table was making her gag. She clenched her hands in her lap and tried to think of how she might leave the table without arousing his suspicions.

  As it turned out, such an excuse wasn’t needed. He finished the last of his eggs and coffee and stood up. Relieved, she jumped up from her chair and ran to the hooks by the front door where she grabbed his coat and hat.

  “We must be an old, married couple,” he teased as he took them from her and put them on, “because you’re in a hurry to get rid of me.”

  She tried to laugh but her stomach rolled. If she wasn’t careful, she was going to throw up for sure.

  He stared at her, his eyebrows furrowed with concern.

  She forced a smile to appease him and opened the door. “I’ll see you when you come home for lunch.” At that time, she’d be able to eat something, and that might help soothe his worries.

  After a tense moment, he finally nodded and slipped his boots on. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too, Isaac.”

  As he headed out of the apartment, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, hoping she could make it long enough to close the door. There was no way she was going to avoid throwing up. The question was how long she could hold off on it. She managed to close the door behind him right before the bile rose up in her throat. She rushed to the sink and lost what little contents she had in her stomach.

  When she was done, she turned away from the stench so she wouldn’t heave. She jerked when she saw that Isaac was standing with his hand on the doorknob. What in the world had he come back into the apartment for?

  Before she could ask, he marched over to her and picked her up. “You’re going to the doctor.”

  “No! I don’t need a doctor!” She fought against him, but he didn’t release her. “Isaac, I’m not sick!”

  Ignoring her, he strode to the door, his arms firmly holding her so she couldn’t get out of them.

  “I’m really not sick, Isaac. I’m just expecting a child,” she blurted out.

  He halted and looked at her. “You’re what?”

  Her heartbeat picked up as she realized what she just said. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she stammered, “I-I’m going to have a baby.”

  “A baby?”

  Was he disappointed? Did he wonder if it was his?

  He set her feet on the floor. “You’re expecting a child? How long did you know this?”

  She tried to judge what he was feeling. It was hard to tell by the curious expression on his face. “Um…the child will be born in early November.” She took a deep breath before hastily adding, “I wasn’t expecting until after we got married.”

  He smiled and hugged her. “A baby? Really?”

  Giving a hesitant smile, she nodded.

  “This is wonderful! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

  So, he was happy about it, and better yet, he wasn’t accusing her of marrying him because she was already pregnant. Knowing he was waiting for her response, she said, “I wasn’t sure if you’d be happy or not.”

  “Of course, I am. I don’t understand why you thought I wouldn’t be.” He pulled out his pocket watch and sighed. “I wish I had more time before work. We’ll have to talk about this at lunch.” He cupped her face in his hands and brushed her cheeks with his thumbs. “I love you, Emily. I married you because I wanted you to be my wife and the mother of my children. You never have to worry about telling me when we’re going to have a child, alright?”

  Tears sprang to her eyes even as she smiled. “Thank you, Isaac, and yes, I will tell you right away next time.”

  “I’ll see you at lunch.”

  She nodded and waited until he left before she collapsed on the couch with relief.

  ***

  It was the beginning of June when Emily first felt her baby move. She was lying in bed in the early evening on Saturday, enjoying the gentle breeze wafting through the room. The sunset created a lovely view of pinks and oranges in the sky. She loved watching the sunset. Better yet, she was where she wanted to be most: in her husband’s arms.

  Her nausea had passed and now she could enjoy the process of carrying a child in her womb. She smiled and placed her hand on the small bulge in her abdomen. The slight fluttering went unnoticed until it happened again, and when it did, it took her a moment to realize she was feeling her baby move.

  Excited, she turned to Isaac who had fallen asleep after they made love and nudged his arm. “Isaac?”

  He stirred and opened his eyes. “What is it?”

  “I felt the baby,” she whispered.

  “You did?”

  “You want to feel?” Without waiting for him to answer, she brought his hand to her abdomen. After a few moments where nothing happened, she sighed. “I suppose the baby won’t move now that he knows we’re expecting it.”

  “He? Are you sure it’s a boy?”

  She shrugged. “It could be. There’s a good chance we’re having a boy.”

  Chuckling, he squeezed her, his naked body feeling wonderful against hers. “We could be having a girl.”

  “If we had a girl, what would you name her?”

  “I don’t know. What names do you like?”

  She wrapped an arm around his waist and settled her head on his shoulder. “Well, I was thinking Boaz for a boy and Esther for a girl. Do you have any names you like?”

  “I can’t think of any. The ones you picked are good.”

  “You really don’t have any names in mind?”

  “No.”

  “Not even one?”

  He laughed and kissed her neck. “No, not even one. My mind is blank.”

  Aware of his arousal, she giggled. “That’s because your mind isn’t on names.”

  “Guilty,” he murmured as he continued kissing her neck.

  Her skin tingled in response as he brought his hands up to her back and pulled her closer to him. When his lips traveled up to her mouth, she eagerly kissed him. He moaned and traced her bottom lip with his tongue. She parted her lips and accepted him into her mouth. His tongue brushed hers, and she felt the familiar ache between her legs as she anticipated where their kissing was going.

  Her body was still primed for him from their lovemaking an hour before, especially since she hadn’t climaxed, so she decided to be the aggressor this time and rolled on top of him. He shifted under her, but she didn’t take him into her, preferring instead to rub her sensitive nub against him. Setting his hands on her hips, he encouraged her to move over him.

  She let out a soft moan of pleasure, knowing this would lead to her eventual release. Truth be told, as much as she enjoyed having an orgasm, she didn’t feel the need to have one each time they came together as man and wife. It felt good either way, and as long as he loved her and believed in her, that’s what made the bedroom such an exciting place for her.

  There were other times, like now, however, where her body was
demanding she climax, and she would. In the remaining sunlight of the day, she looked down at him and their eyes met. She paused in rocking her hips to smile at him. He returned her smile, so she leaned forward and kissed him. Her tongue brushed his in a teasing fashion before she straightened her back and resumed her movements. He reached up to cup her breasts and gave them a light squeeze, silently indicating his pleasure.

  Closing her eyes, she concentrated on feeling him against her and established a rhythm that would ensure her release. And it came faster than she expected. She stilled her movements and groaned, her body clenching in pleasure. When she was done, she leaned forward again and kissed him, this time lingering at his mouth.