Harry (Southern Sands Book 2)

by A. M. Williams

  He wasn’t sure what to say, so he just asked, “What’s up?”

  She chuckled, her voice cracking slightly. “Nothing really. Saw your text and thought a phone conversation would be better.”

  He nodded, though she couldn’t see him. He agreed. He was probably one of the few people that preferred talking on the phone anyways. “How about yourself? How was the tour?” she asked.

  “It was pretty good.” His mind flashed to the sold out crowds and how much merchandise they went through on the road. “We got some new bookings and might be picked up for another small tri-state tour.”

  “That’s awesome! I’m sure y’all are super excited.”

  “We are.” He didn’t sound excited, but the band was thrilled about being picked up for another tour and new gigs. He just felt bummed about the utter disaster that practice was today.

  “You don’t sound very excited.” He should have known she’d pick up on the lack of enthusiasm.

  “Just a rough practice day.”

  “How so?”

  How much should he admit? He thought his answer over as he walked the few steps to his bedroom to set everything down. He sat on the edge of his bed and it creaked in protest. “Just couldn’t get it together, you know?”

  “I do.” As weird as it sounded, he was sure she did know. She was the one that he turned to so many times before they got this version of the band together. They went through several different bassists and female vocalists before finding their current team. She’d heard many a vent session about finding reliable people that knew how to play well.

  Now, they were already falling into old habits and Harry felt himself relax. “Anyways, I don’t want to bore you with all that stuff.”

  “It’s not boring. I want to know about it.”

  He wasn’t sure what to say, so he stayed silent.

  Bailey cleared her throat and continued. “I was actually calling to see if you wanted to come over? For dinner. I want to see if you’d like to come over for dinner.”

  Harry hesitated before answering. Did he want to go over? Hell yes! But he wasn’t sure if that was the greatest idea. He hadn’t seen her in a month and he wasn’t exactly sure where they stood. The silence eventually became uncomfortable and he realized he needed to give an answer. “Uh, sure. Yeah, that’d be great. Want me to get something?”

  “Nope, I have it covered. Can you be here in an hour?”

  He was taken aback. She was pretty spontaneous, but she never offered to take care of food unless she snuck one past him. He was definitely intrigued.

  “Yeah…sure. See you in an hour.”

  They hung up and he stared at his phone for several moments as he tried to figure out if he was in the Twilight Zone or not. The entire conversation was odd and he wasn’t sure what to think of it.

  He needed to get over it though because if it was only an hour, he needed to get his ass into gear.

  Harry stopped for wine on the way to Bailey's, which she opened, but didn’t drink any of. After handing him a glass, she put a cork in it and stashed it in her fridge. That was his first indication that something was up.

  Then she showed him to the table where she’d already laid it with actual plates and silverware. In the entire time he’d known Bailey, he didn’t know she owned crockery that wasn’t plastic or paper. This was the second indication that something was up.

  To top it all off, she'd cooked dinner. Not a frozen one either. She made a lasagna. When she went to the bathroom, he went into the kitchen to refill his wine glass and saw the packages for fresh vegetables and meat. He’d also never known her to go to such lengths before. She was the queen of take-out and frozen food. This was the third indication that things weren’t normal.

  What shocked him even more? It tasted good, which he told her. He appreciated her going to the trouble of making him dinner. Knowing that she’d done so definitely made him feel some kind of way.

  The only problem with the dinner? It was awkward. They’d either talk over each other by accident or neither would say anything. Protracted silences stretched across the table—another item in her house they’d never really used before—and by the time they finished clearing it to move to the couch, he was quite ready for something more intimate and comfortable.

  They each settled onto the couch, at opposite ends, and Bailey asked, “Cool if I turn the TV on with low volume?”

  “Yeah, sure.” Maybe it would help them relax and allow them to fall back into old patterns.

  She flipped through a few channels before settling on a movie and turning the volume to where they could barely hear it.

  She set the remote down and shifted in her seat, crossing one leg over the other. She constantly moved her arms, leaning on one, then lacing them together in her lap. She couldn’t sit still and it was making him antsy. Was something wrong? Was this all a ruse to get him here so she could officially end things?

  He found it difficult to swallow at the thought that he could have misread this entire situation, and he wasn’t sure what to say or do about it. His right leg started to jiggle as he considered the fact that he might be leaving her apartment with his heart broken further than it already had been.

  He tried to concentrate on the movie, but he couldn’t hear it over the loud whooshing in his ears, and he couldn’t keep his gaze on it. Every few seconds, his eyes slid to Bailey, who was sucking on her bottom lip.

  He opened his mouth several times to ask her what was wrong, but couldn’t bring himself to start the conversation. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know. He wanted to enjoy his time with her if it was his last.

  Bailey cleared her throat and Harry looked at her again. This time she was looking back and their gazes met. She opened her mouth, but no sound came out. He waited patiently.

  “Who’s Emily?”

  Of all the things he expected her to ask, that certainly was not it and he wasn’t sure what to say.

  Chapter Twenty

  Bailey

  Of all the things to say, she had to go and blurt out something about Emily, the girl Harry was seen with. Though it wasn’t easy, she was able to get her name out of Karlie, who got it from Jax.

  Harry stared at her, wide-eyed and not moving or making a sound. The longer he was silent, the more worried she was that she’d completely ruined it all by opening her mouth.

  His lips opened and closed a few times, but no sound came out until he finally snapped his mouth shut, his teeth audibly clicking together. He shifted in his seat, rubbing his hands over his jean-clad legs before asking, “Emily?”

  His voice cracked, a sure sign he was worried or nervous. She sighed and shifted in her seat, trying to get more comfortable. “I guess I shouldn’t have started with that, huh?”

  “It might help my racing heart if you didn’t.”

  “Sorry…I guess I just have so much I want to say and that’s what came out first.” She was so not on her game and she needed to fix that.

  She paused, licking her lips as she gathered her thoughts. She took a deep, calming breath before looking at him again. “Right. So, I am curious about Emily. I guess I do want to start with that.”

  Harry nodded but remained silent. If she had to guess, she’d say he looked apprehensive, though she didn’t quite understand why. She already knew he was seeing her or talking to her, whatever the terminology was.

  “What do you want to know?” he finally asked, looking at her briefly before down at his jiggling leg.

  “I guess who she is and how you met her?”

  Harry’s face took on a red tinge, though Bailey wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t like he was dating her while still doing stuff with Bailey the month before. Or was he? Her eyes widened at the thought that he might have been doing something with both of them and she wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

  “Well, I met her at Flashbacks when I went out with the guys from the band.”

  She released the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been hol
ding initially. She was immensely relieved to hear that. She knew from Karlie that happened after that disastrous night on her very own couch. That still didn’t answer who she was to him. “Are you…dating?”

  Harry shook his head quickly from side to side. “No, absolutely not.”

  Bailey was a bit taken aback by his vehemence. “Oh, okay. Then who is she?”

  Harry sighed and slumped, pushing a hand through his hair. “I thought…” He sighed. “I thought I’d try to date her.”

  Bailey sucked in a breath, her worst fear confirmed with that. Harry rushed to continue. “But like I said, I’m not. I have no intention of dating her now—or later. We talked after meeting and the entire month I was gone, but I didn’t see her again until I returned and we went out. That’s it, we just went out a few times. Last night was the last time and it was awkward. So awkward. I didn’t feel a spark at all, you know?”

  When he stopped talking, he was breathing heavily, his eyes wide and trained on hers, imploring her to believe him.

  She met his gaze as she thought over the info dump he'd just laid on her. “So, you’re friends?”

  “Uh, sure? After last night, I’m not sure I’d even call us that. Last night just…didn’t work.”

  She leaned back and studied him. He was still moving his leg and was now fidgeting as well. Earlier, she was the same way. Now she was very calm and didn’t worry so much about where the conversation was going. It seemed it had migrated to Harry since he couldn’t stop moving.

  “Can I ask why it didn’t work?”

  Harry chuckled uncomfortably. “Well…honestly? I kept comparing her to you.”

  She wasn’t sure what to say to that. Did that mean he was still interested? Either way, it was a bit odd.

  “Is that a good thing?” she asked, not at all certain she wanted it to be.

  “Honestly? I’m not sure.”

  They lapsed into silence and this one felt more weighted than others. Bailey felt they were on the cusp of something—either good or bad—that would change their relationship forever. She knew that she was interested in pursuing some kind of relationship with Harry, she just didn’t know if he felt the same.

  The not knowing was starting to eat at her. Sure, he compared her to another woman, but did that mean anything in the long run? Maybe it was just familiarity.

  Her nerves from earlier were coming back in full force and she didn’t know what to do to contain them. She started shaking her leg, which was crossed over the other, as a way to expel some of her energy.

  “You okay?” he asked, concerned.

  “Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

  He raised a brow and looked at her leg. “Well, your leg is going a mile a minute there.”

  She stopped moving her leg, but immediately starting shaking it again. Not moving made her anxiety worse.

  “Seriously? What’s up? Not saying anything isn’t going to help us out of this…rut we’re in.” She briefly thought that they made quite the pair, the two of them sitting on her couch trying to work through their anxieties.

  Bailey’s leg started to move faster, something she didn’t think possible. She wasn’t sure she could voice it, but she knew she needed to. She took a deep breath and let it out, trying to calm her thumping heart.

  “Well, wow, I’m faced with saying this and suddenly I’m so nervous.” She laughed uncomfortably, suddenly wishing she were anywhere but in her living room, on her couch with Harry only a scant foot or two away.

  Harry reached over and placed a hand on her ankle, stopping her leg from moving. She started at his hand for several moments, surprised and pleased by the warmth that radiated from his touch. It spread up her leg and infused the rest of her body giving her the courage to voice her feelings. “I love you.”

  Her eyes widened and she slapped her hands over her mouth, shocked that actually came out of her mouth. It wasn’t like she could stuff it back in, so slapping a hand over her mouth wasn’t going to help anything.

  Apparently, Harry was shocked as well if his wide-eyed expression was anything to go by. Bailey blew out a shaky breath, knowing they were past the point of no return now, so she continued. “Well, that came out weird, but it’s true. I do love you. I’ve just realized it.” She dropped her gaze to her hands, which were knotted in her lap. “You’ve been my…rock these last seven years and I didn’t even know it. When I freaked out last month, it was because I knew I was feeling something for you but didn’t know what to do about it. So I pushed you away.” She drew in another shaky breath, still nervous, but now that she’d started talking, the flow of words wouldn’t stop. “I was in a bad place right after because you left on tour and I didn’t talk to you. I continued to deny my feelings. I thought that love wasn’t in the cards for me.”

  She risked a look at Harry and saw that he was watching her with intense concentration. She plowed on. “You know the story about my parent’s divorce. It was so messy and I didn’t want to experience something like that, so I shut you out all those years ago and haven’t stopped since. Even though you’ve been there for me through it all. I just needed a nudge, you know, to get me to see what was right in front of me. The guy of my dreams. The guy I want to spend the rest of my life with. The guy that I’m head over heels for.”

  Done talking, she snapped her mouth shut and the room was silent. She wasn’t sure where to look. At Harry, who looked like he’d swallowed his tongue, or should she avoid him altogether? The fact that he wasn’t saying anything really worried her and she didn’t know what to think about that.

  Each moment that went by where he didn’t respond seemed like one more reason they wouldn’t be together.

  “Do you mean that?” Harry whispered.

  Bailey looked at him and saw the look of hope on his face. She smiled. “Yeah, I do. I love you. I want you. I want to try to be…us again.”

  “Us as in boyfriend and girlfriend?” he asked.

  She nodded and he smiled at her. She returned it. “So, that’s a yeah from you?” she asked.

  “That’s a hell yeah!”

  She laughed at his enthusiasm but sobered quickly. “Even though we’re giving this a go, I do want us to take it slow. I’m going to be crazy and neurotic about stuff in our relationship. I don’t want us to rush this just to freak out again.”

  It pained her to admit that, but the only way to overcome it was to be honest about how she felt. Harry nodded. “I can work with that. We can work through anything together.”

  He scooted across the couch until his side was pressed into hers. He put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him, wrapping her in his embrace. It felt good. It felt like home.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Harry

  If you asked Harry what he did after being hit by Bailey's bombshell, he wouldn’t be able to say. Her confession was so out of character, that it knocked him off his axis. He stayed for a little while after, cuddling with her on the couch while he tried to work out all of his thoughts and feelings on it.

  The main feeling he had was elation. Bailey had admitted she not only loved him, but wanted to be with him. He couldn’t have asked for a better declaration! The other part of him, though? It worried that it was way too good to be true and that she would realize her error. That is what frightened him: getting his hopes up only to have them dashed later on.

  Even still, before leaving for the night, he extracted a promise for a dinner date the following night and that made him feel better. Unfortunately, now he was freaking out. He was worried she’d text at any moment, saying they were better just as friends or cancel on him. He needed to get himself together because showing doubt was only going to make it worse.

  To make matters worse? As he was going through the options for the next night, Emily called. He stared at his ringing phone for several moments before sighing as he answered. As soon as they started talking, he knew he should have just let it go to voicemail.

  “Hello?”

 
“Harry! Hi! It’s Emily!” She was certainly enthusiastic.

  “Hey. How are you?” He tried to sound enthusiastic too, but he knew he fell flat when it took her a few moments longer than normal to respond.

  “I’m doing super! I know we just went out last night, but I just wanted to let you know that I had a really great time and that I hope we can get together to do it again soon.”

  Harry’s eyes widened at Emily’s words. She enjoyed their date? She didn’t think it was awkward? He guessed he could see where she’d think that. She left on a positive note where his was sour. In addition, he still needed to break up with her. He just needed to figure out how.

  “Oh.” He paused. This might be more awkward than the date the night before had been. “Well, I’m not sure I’ll have a chance to see you any time soon.”

  He nodded, pleased with his cool response. Now for the follow through.

  “Of course. How silly of me.” He winced at the sadness in her voice. She was obviously disappointed if the lack of initial chipperness in her voice was any indication. “I guess just get in touch with me if you get the chance and we can make it work. I’m flexible!”

  Harry grimaced, thankful this was a phone conversation and not an in-person conversation. “Sure, yeah. I’ll let you know.”

  They both floundered in uncomfortable silence. Harry wanted to get off the phone but didn’t want it to be obvious. He also didn’t want to invite her into a conversation with him. He sighed and bit the bullet. “I’m sorry to run, but you caught me right in the middle of something…”

  “Oh! Of course. Silly me. I’ll chat with you later, yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  He hung up, relieved. He felt like a cad for his less than stellar excuse for getting off the phone, but he didn’t know what else to say. She probably thought he was a fuckboy now, which might actually work in his favor.