The Cockeyed Corpse (The Shell Scott Mysteries)

by Richard S. Prather

  But once I’d turned my thoughts in the right direction and was thinking a little, even if feebly, I kept on thinking. I inched forward, dropped to one knee and peered out the cleft in the boulder. I missed seeing the first man, caught just the flick of a horses tail. But it had been Farmer, because I saw the next man clearly as he went past, and that second man was Tay Green. If both of them would just keep going, far enough. . . . I stood up, whispered to the girls, told them what I had in mind. Then we waited.

  I was still holding those two rocks. I put them on the ground, slipped through the crevice in the boulder and inched my head forward until I could aim my right eye at the mens backs. I would almost have traded it for a gun at that moment The men were about fifty yards away; another fifty and theyd be at the end of this narrow gorge, and would either go on — or turn and come back. In the opposite direction, toward the lake, the path was open for thirty yards then turned sharply to the right. If a woman could run unseen for those thirty yards, shed be out of sight after that. I didn’t know how fast these gals could move, but with a little luck I’d soon find out.

  Green swiveled around in his saddle and I yanked my head back. My heart pumped a couple dozen times, jumping about a bit, then I looked again. Both men were still moving ahead. There was no point in waiting. I waved a hand behind me at the girls. A cool hand touched my shoulder.

  Without turning I said, Remember, all at once, and as fast as you can. Dont look back, kids; I’ll be watching those guys. If you dont hear any yells or . . . or noises, just keep going.

  There was room for only one person at a time in this crevice, and I was blocking the exit. So I took a deep breath and stepped out in the open. Behind me I heard the girls moving. One gal said, Oh golly, oh God, and it sounded like a dying cricket, so I guessed that was Choo Choo.

  I heard the soft — and rapid — thump of bare feet, but I didn’t look. I was staring at Green and Farmer, praying they wouldnt turn.

  chapter twelve

  The seconds seemed elastic, stretched into different, slowly-flowing time. Green stopped his horse, leaned back and put one hand behind his saddle, started to turn. I jumped back out of sight, involuntarily squeezed my eyes shut and clenched my fists. If that last girl, whoever shed been, hadn’t gotten out of sight . . .

  But there was no outcry, or shot, no sudden sound of hooves. I could feel perspiration under my eyes, on my upper lip, cool on my bare chest. Finally I looked again. Green was just sitting there, watching Farmer who was trotting to the paths end. I jumped from the crevice and landed with my feet digging into the soft earth. I ran, and I followed the instructions I’d given the girls: I didn’t look back.

  Believe me, I moved. The girls had a long head start on me, but even so I passed the slowest two before they reached the big papier-mâché boulder — because that’s where I’d sent them. April and long-legged Delise were already there, panting enormously, and by the time I’d dug my hands into dirt under the boulders edge and lifted it high off the ground, both little Zia and completely-winded Choo Choo had joined us.

  They all scurried under the big rock without another word from me, and — with a last glance back, to make sure we hadn’t been spotted — I climbed under with them and let the thing down over us.

  And then the strength seemed to drain out of me like cold bath water out of a tub. A pair of two-by-fours were criss-crossed inside the prop boulder, to give it rigidity and make it easier to move, and on my knees I hung against one of them, realizing it didn’t give me any rigidity at all. There was no more starch in me than there is in a tramps collar, and the breath whooshed out my nose so fast I distinctly heard a different note from each nostril.

  Somebody said fervently, We made it, we really made it, and Choo Choo produced some high unintelligible noises, and I said, For Petes sake, shut up.

  We werent out of the woods yet, but I had a feeling the remaining trees were few and far between. I was certain we hadn’t been spotted, since if we had there would have been noisy action long before now, and unless those bums knew about this Hollywood-type hunk of scenery — which wasn’t likely — theyd never guess it was a fake by looking at it. All we had to do was keep quiet until the men took off. Or until help arrived.

  Ed Finch had wasted no time getting away from the area, for which you couldnt really condemn him, but almost surely he would soon be returning with help. If, that is, he’d really gotten away.

  We waited. The sound of heavy breathing slowed. There wasn’t a peep out of anyone. I let go of the two-by-four and moved quietly into a more comfortable position. In fact, much more comfortable. Ah, sorry, I whispered.

  It’s all right, she whispered back. Dont . . . be sorry.

  I couldnt be sure from the whisper which of the gals it was. But I liked her forgiving attitude.

  Time passed. I was almost starting to enjoy it here — then there was the sound of horses galloping nearer. And soon, voices. I heard the snort and flap of lips as a horse blew air out his nostrils and mouth.

  Then, Where the goddamn He’ll could they of gone to? They got to be here somewhere?

  And the colder, lower voice — Greens: That sonofabitch Scott could fall in a sewer and come up with a golden toilet. And I was lookin forward to killin that bastard.

  We can’t mess around here much longer, Farmer said.

  Yeah, that goddamn jerk what took off in the wagonll probably bring back a goddamn posse.

  So Finch had gotten away. Silence for half a minute.

  Tay, Farmer said, what you think? Should we ought to blow this stinkin place, like the boss said if there was trouble? I’m damned if I want to ride a horse to L.A.

  After a pause Green said, Nah, we can go back to the cabin, I guess. They wasn’t close enough to see who we was. And the bossll be havin fits till he hears what happened.

  Yeah, then He’ll really throw a fit.

  Go on up where we was and give it another good look. I’ll gander around here. But make it fast.

  One of the horses clopped off. Closer to us the sounds of movement were audible for a minute or two, then all I could hear were small scraping sounds or the rustlings of imagination. In another two or three minutes more I thought I heard horses galloping away, the noise getting fainter. But I wasn’t sure.

  One of the girls heard it, too. Was that them? she whispered. Are they gone, do you think?

  Maybe, I said softly. But wed better wait a few minutes. It might have been something else — or it could be a trick.

  The minutes dragged by, and slowly the tension lessened. Conversation began, raggedly, then took on more sense and spirit, the words still, however, either whispered or spoken in very low tones.

  I thought we were dead, somebody said. Just dead.

  Then two or three others at once: Why did they want to kill us? What did we ever do —

  Oh, golly, oh. God, I hope theyre gone, really gone —

  . . . actually shot at us, I thought I’d die . . .

  The soft bubble of words swelled, then ebbed. Silence for a moment. And in the silence Delise — by now I could identify the voices, and knew this one was Delise — said, Shell . . .

  Yeah?

  Last night in the saloon you were, well, you know. You know how much we appreciate what you did.

  Well, ah, actually I was mainly trying to keep from getting my brains killed. I mean knocked out — from getting killed, myself, that is. The reason for the somewhat disconnected slop of wordage was because Delise — at least, in the darkness, I assumed it was Delise because she was speaking — had put a soft, warm hand on my shoulder.

  Sliding her fingers nervously — I guessed it was nervously — against my skin, she went on, I dont care. But just now, out there — it was marvelous. The way you took charge and all, thinking of hiding us and everything.

  Yeah? I said. Uh . . .

  Before I could think of anything else to say, which might have taken quite a while, April said, It’s true. Shell. Delise is right. I
knew it was April because the voice came from very close on my left, and I had earlier deduced from a few clues, being a detective, that the position which had accidentally turned out to be much more comfortable was Aprils. Moreover, the voice continuing now was the soft and warm whisper of Aprils honeyed-honeymoon voice, saying At least I’d probably be dead now if it werent for you, Shell. Maybe we all would.

  Well . . . they were shooting at me mostly, you know. I wasn’t simply being big about the whole thing . . . I considered you girls of course, especially there crammed in that . . . uh . . .

  Zias accent caressed the next words, Dont be so modest, Shell. It’s true. I just can’t tell you!

  April had taken my left hand in both of hers, and either Delise was using two sets of fingers or else Zia had accompanied her words with impulsively friendly action, because somebody had discovered a damned sensitive spot in the middle of my back.

  I was kind of happy it was pitch dark in here — I mean, what with all the flowery words I was glad these gals couldnt see my face, which was getting pretty hot, and it was at least possible that I was blushing. It was a little hard to be sure, though, since I seemed to be blushing all over. Probably it was due to the kind of steamy atmosphere engendered when people sit close together, as in two-hundred-degree Finnish saunas, for health purposes.

  I said, How . . . did we all get so close?

  Somebody chuckled softly, and a voice said, It is nice and close, isnt it? and I said, Hoo. Everything, of course, was all open and aboveboard as the saying goes, but with April hanging onto my left hand, and fingers moving on my shoulders, and something sending cold shivers of hot lightning over my back, I was in a fair way of being totally electrocuted, nonetheless.

  At least I had one hand free, so I reached out for that two-by-four, but I didn’t get the two-by-four. I guess it was Choo Choo. It had to be Choo Choo; she was the only one left.

  Yeah, it was Choo Choo. You know, she said, now that were not all getting killed, this is kind of fun now.

  It is? I said.

  Delise said softly, Do you think theyre gone yet. Shell? I mean, do you think were safe?

  I’m . . . not sure, I said hoarsely. I mean, there might be — gangsters out there. Wed better wait another hour or so. I mean, couple of minutes.

  Oh, Shell, Choo Choo squealed. Youre too much!

  I was getting electrocuted in a Finnish sauna. Inside my skull was a sparkling radiance, a kind of glowing incandescence, like radioactive oatmeal; and, or so it seemed, an occasional click. Ever since I’d gotten sapped on the head, there had been moments when I’d felt the blow must have knocked something loose up there, for every once in a while I did seem to hear a little muffled clicking sound.

  So now I thought: Yes, it’s loose. I’m not right. Because this isnt happening. Not really, I simply can’t be under a rock with four naked babes.

  But I was.

  chapter thirteen

  I climbed out first, took a good look around, then ran to the Cadillac. I didn’t have another handgun in the car, but there was a Weatherby .300 and a box of cartridges in the trunk. Carrying the loaded rifle I trotted back and hoisted up the edge of the boulder, held it high until the four gals scooted out.

  All clear? April asked, smiling up at me.

  So far. Those hoods are gone, at least. But weve still got the problem of getting back to the ranch. I paused. By the way, where, uh, are your clothes?

  In the wagon, Choo Choo said brightly. They went away with Ed.

  That settled that.

  Silence.

  Well, Zia said, youve got a gun now. Thank goodness. As she looked around, sunlight burned streaks of silver-blue in her black hair. So I’m going into the lake and get the dust off.

  It didn’t look to me as if she had any dust on. But she and Choo Choo raced to the water. The gals were nuts; we still might get shot, for all I knew.

  I said to April and Delise standing near me, I’ll take a look at the car and see what kind of damage those apes did. If it’s not wrecked, I’ll get it going as soon as I can.

  I might as well cool off in the meantime, then, Delise said, stretching slowly, arching her back. I closed my eyes, but only briefly. I could have stood a little cooling off in the meantime myself.

  Me too, April said. Fix the car fast, Shell, and join me — us for a dip.

  Well, maybe. I feel a bit dippy at that.

  They raced toward the water. I watched them. Just a little. Then I spun about and sprinted to the Cadillac.

  Tay Green hadn’t done any real damage; he’d merely raised the hood and yanked some wires loose. I had the mess fixed in ten minutes. Of course Tay must have assumed, and quite logically at the time, that I wouldnt have anything like ten minutes in which to fiddle around with wires.

  I turned the engine over to make sure all was well, then cut it off and walked back to the lake ready for anything. Armed now, with a kind of peaceful and contented feeling oozing through me, I looked with relaxed amazement at the vista before me. Despite the fact that there was little grass or greenery except right around the small lake, which was like a little oasis in the desert, and that the permanent scenery consisted primarily of water and sky, sage and greasewood, sandy earth and rugged rocks, the sight was like something out of Scheherazades Arabian Days.

  Much of the impact, quite likely, was due to the temporary scenery. At the edge of the lake Delise lay on her stomach, head turned to look at April sitting beside her. Aprils thick rusty-brown hair was wet, much darker than usual, and she lifted both arms to fluff the hair over her bare shoulders. In the water, Zia and Choo Choo bounced about and splashed water at each other like a couple of kids. At least, a little bit like a couple of kids.

  It was a marvel. I kept waiting for my bead to go click. But it didn’t. April saw me, raised a hand and waved, motioning me toward them. It was the kind of invitation I dont need half a dozen of, and I started walking forward.

  Started.

  I took two steps and heard a faint drumming sound. It got louder. Oh, no, I thought; not again.

  I turned, ran back toward the Cad, and looking out over the desert saw a cloud of dust. At the base of the dust cloud were a lot little animals — horses again. With people on them. There must have been twenty or thirty people racing at us, all on horses.

  Probably this was that rescue squad, the posse Tay Green had been grumbling about. Of course, the way things happened around this joint, it was conceivable that it was a whole gang of bloodthirsty hoodlums — there sure as He’ll were enough crooks in residence hereabouts. But it was a whole flock of people for sure, flying at us. . . . Not until then did I think of the gals — the gals with no clothes on! The gals with no clothes on here with me. And I wasn’t exactly overdressed, myself. I could explain, sure, but sometimes rumors start and you never catch up to them.

  I sprinted back to the lake. Get dressed, I yelled. Get — I mean, hide yourselves! I see a posse!

  What did you say? Delise cried.

  And Choo Choo yelled, very high, You see what?

  A posse, a posse, I shouted. Didn’t you ever hear of a posse?

  I was right up next to the lake now and Delise said in a kind of flat voice: Yes.

  There must be twenty or thirty of them, I yelled, all excited. Flying over the desert at us.

  Well, the four girls made such peculiar comments then that it sounded as if they were all actually deranged. I went on rapidly, Theyre probably coming to rescue us — not that I dont want to be rescued — but all these characters from the ranch will catch you with your pa . . . without any clothes on.

  The girls just looked at me. I suppose I had sounded a little keyed up, but a guys nerves will only stand so much, and mine were starting to get gummy. The drumming got louder. I said stiffly, Well, all right. If that’s the way you want it.

  It’s a posse from the ranch! Delise yelled.

  Finally. Thank God the country isnt run by women. But I’ll say this for them, once t
hey got the idea they moved with alacrity. April and Delise leaped up and spun about in a veritable whirlwind of activity and leaped toward the lake; Choo Choo flung up her hands and covered her eyes — I was beginning to wonder about Choo Choo; and Zia squatted down in the water, but failed to take into consideration the fact that she at that moment was in about six inches of water.

  They all were, every one of them — almost as if it was predestined — much too late. Vroom, and thumping clatter, dust all over the place, everywhere horses snorting. And I beard some guys snorting, too. I think I even heard some women snorting. There were, it developed, three daredevilish women along with the approximately twenty men. Including, I was horrified to note, the old gal I had attacked outside my door back there.

  Everything stopped.

  Dust began to settle.

  There was near silence — except for the sound of splashing, as those four stupid babes galloped into the lake. If they had just listened to me — blah, I thought. Women. Who needs them? Especially now?

  After what seemed forever, all four of the lovelies were in water up their necks, and I strangled the impulse to go in there with them, and maybe drown them, and myself, and pulled myself together and erect. This was still a kind of prickly situation.

  So I turned to the approximately two dozen citizens here assembled, fixed them with a stony glance and said, Well, it’s about time.

  The old gal, still wearing the peachy jodhpurs — and very nearly the identical expression — shed had on that last time I saw her, eyeballed me aghast and sniffed. She had the nose to do it with, too. Well, she sniffed. I never!

  Maam, I began politely, I never, either — but then there was too much noise for anybody to hear me. Mostly, I guess, it was questions. I spotted Russ and Ed Finch in the crowd, waved Finch over. When things settled down a bit I explained to them all what had happened, mentioning Farmer and Tay Green and several gunshots, with my story corroborated by Finch.