“You have heard from him, haven’t you?”
I tilted my head to look at him, confused. A tiny smile was hiding in the corner of his face, like he was thinking about something wonderful. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it but he sort of glowed right now. “Anything you want to share?” I asked.
“Don’t change the subject. You haven’t heard from the good doctor, have you?”
“Not exactly. He’s been pretty busy at the hospital,” I said.
“Uh huh,” Kyle said. “So are you, Mattie. Granted you’re not a practicing physician but...”
“He’ll be here.”
“If you say so.”
I knew doctors were busy creatures. That was no surprise, but I would have thought a phone call was in order before Sunday’s dinner. I struggled to be patient, which was not really in my DNA. This was a new relationship I said over and over in my head. Take it slow.
“By the way, how did he like my lasagna? You didn’t call me like you usually do after a first date.”
“It wasn’t really a date. Okay, maybe it sort of was a date.”
“Uh huh.”
“Why do you keep looking at me like that?”
“Like what? Never mind me. How did it go?”
I lifted a shoulder. “It could have gone better,” I said peering out the window.
“How so?” Kyle pressed.
“He seemed to enjoy the food. I don’t think he gets home cooked meals that often.”
“Probably not,” Kyle agreed. “And the date?”
I bit my lip. “Not so good. The way we left things kind of broke my heart a little.”
Now I got the sideways glance with the upturned bottom lip. “Your heart? Get real, Mattie. You lied to him, didn’t you?”
“No. Well, yeah. I guess. So he found out I didn’t cook for him, but I did spend all that time planning the execution of the meal. It wasn’t all you.”
Kyle’s hands gripped the steering wheel tight. “So he was angry. Just because you didn’t do the actual cooking. Know what I think?”
“What?”
“He doesn’t deserve you, Mattie.”
“It wasn’t that.”
“Wasn’t what?”
“He wasn’t mad because I lied about cooking.”
“No?”
“No, he was upset because he thinks you’re my boyfriend.”
Kyle laughed. “Jealous huh? Maybe that’s a good sign.”
“Good sign! He thinks you’re still my boyfriend.”
“Oh.”
“Why on earth would he think you’re my boyfriend, Kyle?”
“Oh I don’t know. Maybe because we spend so much time together. I drive you everywhere you have to go and we practically camp out at each other’s houses.”
“And how would he know that?”
“Maybe he doesn’t. I guess some guys have a hard time believing a woman can be friends with a man without...you know.”
“I guess, and there will be no more you know by the way.”
“Like I don’t know that. Please. Mattie, it hasn’t even crossed my mind.”
“Right. We both were lonely but now we’re over it.”
“Glad you brought that up because I have something to tell you.”
I leaned forward in my seat. “I knew there was something different about you. You met someone?”
“I did.”
“Brilliant! Why didn’t you tell me that in the first place? This is way more interesting gossip than badgering me about getting a car. You have to introduce us, Kyle. I know, bring her to Sunday dinner tonight. It’s perfect. Absolutely perfect! Geeze, Louise, I’m so excited. What is she like? Where does she live? How did you meet? Wow. That last one was so not worthy of you, Kyle. As a matter-of-fact, the last several just didn’t fit you at all. Not. At. All. And you know what. I never got that. Didn’t get that at all because Kyle you are awesome. Any girl that can’t see that is just...”
“Hold on there, cowgirl,” Kyle announced a little shakily. “I have something else to tell you before you go planning our wedding.” He bit his bottom lip looking serious all of a sudden.
“Okay,” I said carefully. “What’s going on?”
“There’s something I haven’t told anyone.”
“This is me, Kyle. Maybe you have secrets from everyone else but not me.”
“How do I say this? Those other girls...You’re right about them. They didn’t fit me and they never would. No matter how hard I tried, they just didn’t fit and... Once I realized that and stopped fighting with myself. Who I am inside...well..” He took a deep breath. “Everything else just makes sense all of a sudden.”
“What the hell are you talking about? You’re going to take the next right. Don’t miss it.”
“Oh. Oh, yeah. I almost did.” Kyle’s Chevy Olds squealed it’s tires when we turned onto Main. The lines in his face deepened, his brow furrowed.
“Kyle, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing actually. For the first time in my life, things are just the way they should be.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Mattie, do you know when we, you know?”
“What of it?”
“That was the third time I almost... Let’s just say I don’t have a full roster of sexual experiences.”
“Yeah, so.”
“And you were a little tipsy at the time.”
“Don’t remind me.”
“Which is why you didn’t ask me to wear a sock I’m guessing.”
“Do we really need to discuss the whole sordid details? I’m sorry I seduced you, Kyle. Really I am. Can we just leave it at that? Never, never speak of it again, okay?”
He let out a whoosh of a breath. “I was not drinking. Remember? You told me that I should have been the bigger person.”
“Are you beating yourself up because you didn’t wear a condom with me? It was my fault too, Kyle. I’m just as much to blame.”
We pulled up to the curb near New Hope Rescue Mission. I took off my seatbelt. As I was about to exit the car, Kyle grabbed my arm. “Mattie, don’t you wonder how many partners I’ve had?”
“No. Well, maybe but what’s done is done. We can’t take it back.”
I actually knew about my best friend’s sexual experiences because he’d only had a handful of girlfriends, which he’d just confirmed that most of them he’d not even slept with.
“I’ve had one partner, Mattie and that was my best friend.”
“What?”
“You’re the only one I’ve ever slept with. Ever.”
“Then that means...You’re toying with me.”
“I’m not.”
I was momentarily speechless.
“Close your mouth, Mattie.”
“Then that means...”
“I was a virgin.”
“Oh my God.”
“But your last girlfriend said you were a lousy lover.”
“Lover, yes. Sexual partner, no. We only did some heavy petting. And believe me, I tried. Are you shocked?”
“Surprised,” I said slowly. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I had to admit it to myself first.” We both got out of the car, leaving this awkward conversation we were having buckled into our seatbelts.
OhmyGod! OhmyGod! OhmyGod!
Kyle walked around to the back of the Olds. “I have something for that little girl you’re tutoring. Let me get it. It’s in the trunk.”
“Great,” I said, glad for the change in conversational topics.
A few minutes later, Kyle dragged a huge stuffed St. Bernard dog out of his car—the biggest I’ve ever seen—and placed the toy in my arms. “I got this from my friend but Smooch hates the damn thing.” Gripping a tattered terrycloth ear, he said, “See. He already chewed a hole in it but kids don’t mind that. Make up a story or something. Then give it to that little girl you’re tutoring.”
“Thanks. Maybe I can bribe her to let me give her that flu sho
t I’ve been trying to get into her.” I gave Kyle a hug with one arm. Friend huh? I thought of how lonely Kyle must have been all these years trying to pretend to be someone he wasn’t. And failing. I loved Kyle. Not like a lover, and not like a brother either, but as my best and truest friend in the world.
“Should I come back to pick you up?” he asked.
“I guess I should say yes. If things change, I’ll let you know. I have a funny feeling about Steven. He seemed...preoccupied when I talked to him last. I’m thinking he may be tied up at work.”
“He’s a doctor, Mattie. If he’s any good at what he does and you tell me he is, he’s probably always preoccupied with something, or someone. Maybe we should give him some slack.”
“Okay.”
Chapter 13
Steven
“What are you doing?” Harvey asked.
Nosy bastard.
Ignoring him, I took six patient charts from the wall behind the nurse’s station. When I turned around, I found my cousin scowling at me in a crisp white lab coat, arms crossed, probably waiting for an answer to his idiotic question.
“I’m working. Why?”
He tapped the watch on his wrist. “Weren’t you off shift a half hour ago and if memory serves me right, don’t you have a date with the Miss Hop-along Beautiful?”
“And don’t you have somewhere to be?”
“Yeah. Right here.” His chin lifted. “Hand me Master Connor’s chart, will ya?”
I grabbed the chart for the kid with cancer. Poor little guy was only six and now he had to deal with kidney failure too. Hopefully, with a new kidney donated from his fourteen-year-old brother, he’d survive. Harvey wasn’t an Oncologist, but he and the kid had formed a bond early on in his treatment.
“How’s he doing?” I asked.
“Connor? He’s handling it well, thanks to that older brother of his. Keeps his spirits up much as he can. Tells him jokes all the time, but I know he’s scared to death.”
“To be expected,” I said, wondering what it was like. I flipped through one of the charts. With no siblings and few cousins to speak of, with Harvey as the exception of course, I considered whether I would have the courage at fourteen to make such a sacrifice. Hopefully, I’d never had to find out.
Harvey tugged my arm as I was about to leave. “You didn’t answer my question.”
“What?”
“You’re going to meet her family. Correct?”
“Yeah, so.”
“So... What...? Are they vampires? Do they eat at midnight or something?”
“No. Seven o’clock.”
He tapped his watch a second time. “It’s six thirty, Russo.”
“Plenty of time.” We both knew I was covering for Doctor Carver who had an emergency in ICU, plus I was holding six charts in my arms.
“If you say so, it’s your love life not mine.”
“Right, so let’s drop it. Okay?”
“Sure. See you later.”
I tapped him on the arm. “Have a good one.”
“Sure thing.”
Although he hadn’t said so, he knew I wasn’t going to Mattie’s mother’s for dinner. Not tonight anyway. I felt like an ass, which I knew I was for blowing Mattie off, but it couldn’t be helped. This relationship was moving entirely too fast. I needed to slow it down. I needed to make her see just what she was getting into, that my job had to come first and always would. If she didn’t see that from the get-go, what future could we possibly have together? Then there was the whole Kyle rivalry I couldn’t seem to ignore.
I set down the charts and took out my cell, intending to send Mattie a text, then hesitated. Should I have called her already? Like yesterday maybe. A sick feeling in my stomach. Telling her an hour before our date was a dick move. I hated guys that did that. Still, it would give her the message loud and clear that I was a busy guy. That was the reason for canceling, wasn’t it? I dialed the phone.
Steven: Hey there, sorry to tell you on short notice but it can’t be helped. I won’t be able to make it tonight.
Mattie: Where are you?
Steven: Work. I’m a doctor.
Mattie: Think I knew that.
Steven: I’m sorry.
Mattie: Nothing to be sorry about. People need you.
Steven: Yeah.
Mattie: Mama will be disappointed. So will everyone else. They were looking forward to meeting you.
Steven: And you?
Mattie: Me most of all.
Steven: Maybe we can get together tomorrow?
Mattie: I have to work.
Steven: Work? I thought you didn’t...
Mattie: It’s volunteer work.
Steven: Where?
Mattie: At the New Hope Rescue Mission.
Steven: Cool. Doing what?
Mattie: All kinds of stuff. This morning I gave immunizations and recently I started an English class to teach people how to read.
Steven: That’s great.
Mattie: It’s not as important as your job.
Steven: Don’t be so sure. That’s important too.
Now I felt like shit. Was I really that expendable? Medications had already been ordered, discharges taken care of, and patients assessed. To be honest, most of my patients would be sleeping. The nurses did most of the work.
Steven: Again, I’m sorry.
Mattie: I’ll miss you. You were going to be my buffer. Sort of. My family can be a bit much as you saw in the hospital, but it’s okay. I’ll have Kyle to talk to plus he’s bringing a friend I can’t wait to meet.
My teeth ground into my jaw at the mention of Kyle’s name.
Mattie: Steven?
Mattie: You still there?
Steven: Yes. Sorry, I have to go. Duty calls you know.
Mattie: Is everything alright?
Steven: Of course. I’ll miss you too.
Mattie: I’m glad.
Steven: See you.
I hit the button, ending the call. I just sat there for several minutes, fuming.
Why was this guy in every conversation I had with her? I wrestled with how ridiculous it was that I wanted to pummel the smug smile off Kyle’s face. Perhaps throw darts at his photo or bury his portrait in an ant hill off the coast of Africa. Why did I have all this animosity toward the guy? He hadn’t done anything to make me feel threatened, and I knew it was entirely possible and likely probable, that Mattie and he were just friends. She’d told me that, hadn’t she?
Because that’s what your Ex said. Now you’re going to their wedding.
The next six hours dragged on endlessly, the only excitement when Mr. Taylor in two-fifty-two had to be sedated so Nurse Eileen could get a catheter inside him. Not a pleasant experience I knew, but he hadn’t voided in eighteen hours.
When my shift was finally at a close, and exhausted as I was, I looked in on the battered mother. Seeing she was stable, I took a nap on a couch in the bunker.
Six hours later, it was morning. Monday morning to be exact. The day I had breakfast with my grandmother.
And I was late! I scrambled off the couch, wiping the drool over the side of my face with the back of my hand. There was one thing my grandmother didn’t tolerate and that was tardiness.
After changing into street clothes, running a comb through my hair and quickly brushing my teeth, I headed out the sliding glass doors of the hospital.
NONNA LIVED IN A GOLD-colored farmhouse with a wrap-around porch and real shutters on the windows. We’d been meeting for breakfast, or sometimes lunch depending on my schedule, for the past two years. Ever since my grandfather died.
“Here we go,” said Nonna carrying an antique tea-pot, covered with a quilted cozy she’d made herself. “Piping hot. And I have biscuits in the oven to go with our omelets.” She always went through so much trouble for me. It made me a little sad that I was the only one she ever cooked for these days. She’d only had the one child. My father. And one grandchild. Me. My father didn’t visit and thanks to my ove
rbearing grandfather, she’d made few friends over the years. She placed the teapot in the center of the table.
“Smells wonderful, Nonna.” The smell of fresh strawberry jam and homemade biscuits had me salivating like crazy. I hadn’t eaten since that candy-bar the previous afternoon. Nonna poured us tea and dropped a sugar cube in each our cups. “Now, tell me what’s going on in that hotshot life of my doctor grandson.”
I picked up my cup, blew on the contents, and took a sip. “Not much to tell, Nonna. Same old, same old.”
She picked up her own cup and gazed over the porcelain rim at me. Nothing got by this woman. She could always tell when I was holding something back.
“And outside of work, Stevie? What have you been up to?”
I laughed. “Nonna, you know I don’t have time for any kind of a social life. The minute I even think about planning something, there’s always an emergency.”
Nonna frowned. “You need to have some fun, Stevie. You’re a young man. If you don’t make time for something when you’re young, you’ll die a very lonely man. Don’t make the same mistakes I did.”
I chuckled. “Are you giving me the ‘all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy’ speech, Nonna?” It wasn’t the first time, she’d voiced her opinions about my being alone. Even when I was married, she could see right through my loneliness. I guess she had experience in that arena.
“You’re not fooling me, Steven J Russo. I know when something has changed. I can see that when I look at you. I just don’t know what it is yet.”
Saved by the bell.
“I hear the timer,” I said. “I think your biscuits are ready.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Yeah, I distinctly heard the timer, Nonna. I think you better...”
“Steven,” she said with a warning tone and just like that, I was eight years old again.
Ding. Ding. Ding.
“You’re right. It was the timer.” She rose to leave but not before telling me, “I talked to Harvey, Steven. Is there a young lady in your life?”
“Yes.”
“I knew it. I want to hear all about her. Be right back.”
A few minutes later, she set two large plates and two smaller ones on the table. The plates held two omelets with peppers and onions, the smaller ones sliced biscuits and jam. Before I’d taken a bite, I could already taste the gingery sweetness on my tongue. “Did I ever tell you, this is the highlight of my week, Nonna?”
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