Light Beyond the Darkness

by Tami Lund

  “Damn, you look good, baby brother,” Finn teased as he lightly slapped Reid’s cheek.

  Reid pushed his hands away and grinned. “You don’t look so bad yourself. Thought for sure you’d have a few gray hairs by now.”

  Finn raked his hand through his ginger locks and matched his brother’s grin. “Yeah, me too, frankly. Being mated to a lightbearer’s no easy feat, I can assure you. Or maybe that’s just my mate.” He ducked just as a waiflike spitfire charged across the lawn and attempted to smack his shoulder.

  “Carley!”

  Carley tried to shrink away, to step behind Reid, but with his arm around her shoulder, it was impossible for her to hide.

  “Lights above, you’re alive!” Cecilia all but shrieked the proclamation.

  Reid gave her a questioning look. Finn focused on her for the first time. “Holy hell, Carley.” His gaze darted from her to Reid and back again, before his eyes narrowed and he studied his brother’s features. “You found her?”

  Reid shook his head. “I’ve been staying in Chicago. Went to a steak house with a stellar reputation. Figured out it was because a lightbearer was making the steaks.”

  “And?” Finn demanded when Reid offered no more detail.

  Cecilia attempted to hug Carley, whose magic flared in response. Reid’s father cast a nervous glance at the nearest houses. “Maybe we should take this inside. There are humans living in this neighborhood.”

  Finn slapped Reid on the back and gave him a shove toward the house. “Come on. Felicia’s probably going to cry when she sees you. Mom’s probably going to box your ears for disappearing without a trace for the last nine months. They’ve been trying to convince me to go search for you, but I haven’t been able to get out of the coterie for more than a few days here and there…” Finn continued talking as the three men headed toward the house, leaving Cecilia and Carley standing on the front lawn.

  “I’m so glad you’re okay,” Cecilia said. She had pulled her hand away and stood in front of Carley, her body in a state of attempted hug. “We’ve been worried.”

  Carley dropped her gaze to the grass. “I…was afraid,” she admitted. “Miguel…” She lifted her gaze and watched Reid and his father and brother walk into the house. He turned around, pinning his gaze on her. She nodded, letting him know she was fine, but then Finn shouted Cecilia’s name.

  “Come on,” he called. “Felicia and my mom are going to want to meet Carley. And the Fates know you’ll somehow manage to get into trouble, just standing on the front lawn, Cici.”

  Cecilia rolled her eyes and then looped her arm through the crook of Carley’s elbow. Her magic didn’t flare this time. “Ignore him. I do, often. Still, let’s go inside. We’ll find some time to talk later. I want to hear all about what it’s like living outside the coterie for an extended length of time.” She started to walk, but Carley pulled her to a stop.

  “Don’t tell him,” she whispered, her gaze pleading.

  Cecilia frowned. “Who?”

  “Reid. About Miguel. He doesn’t know. Anything.”

  Cecilia’s eyes widened. “Oh.” Then she pitched her voice low and added, “He’s never been found. They’ve given up the search. Finn assumes he fled the coterie, and is living among the humans, like you’ve been doing.”

  The idea that Miguel could have found her, might have been looking for her, caused Carley’s heart to begin galloping at an uncomfortable pace. Within seconds, Reid was rushing across the lawn toward them, a determined look on his face. He came to an abrupt stop and grabbed Carley’s arm.

  “What’s wrong?” His gaze slid to Cecilia, as if she had done something wrong.

  Carley tried to speak, but words escaped her for a moment.

  “Nothing,” Cecilia supplied for her. “I told her about some stuff that happened in the coterie a few months ago. Not exactly positive. But it’s over now. I’m sure she was just shocked, that’s all. And I won’t, Carley,” she added before turning and flouncing up to her mate, who still stood on the front porch. Carley knew she had just agreed to keep her secret. She almost sagged against Reid with relief.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, interrupting her inner turmoil. “I didn’t think he would bring anyone. Actually, I wasn’t even sure he’d be here.” He rubbed his hands up and down her arms. “I don’t want you to be stressed.”

  She offered a wobbly smile. “I’ll be fine. I can’t deny you the opportunity to spend time with your family just because of my likely unfounded fears.”

  “He won’t get to you,” Reid said fiercely. “I won’t let him. Whoever the hell hurt you in the past, it’ll never happen again. You have my word.”

  His word. She knew she could inexplicitly trust him. If it was within his power, he would do as he promised.

  Unless he knew of her betrayal. Would he still feel the same if he knew she was mated to another? That her mate was likely still alive, so therefore, she was committing adultery? She knew precious little about the ways of the shifters, but monogamy seemed to be a standard with the ones she knew, and she was absolutely confident Reid was no exception.

  She couldn’t let him find out.

  Chapter 9

  “Okay, it’s official. Any and all lightbearers are welcome in my home, any time.” Reid’s sister Felicia made this proclamation after she’d savored the first bite of the dessert Carley had concocted. “This is absolutely divine. As was the pulled pork. And the jalapeño sweet potatoes. And the Brussels sprouts. I’m not sure I’ve ever had them before, and I certainly never thought I would actually like them. Look at the boys.” She waved at her two sons. “They’re still eating them.”

  Reid watched Carley beam, so obviously thrilled with his sister’s compliments. This was her thing, he realized. Making other people happy, through her cooking. She was exceptionally good at her art, and she loved doing it, too. His own heart warmed, as he admired the pink in her cheeks, the silly, pleased smile, the shimmer of magic along her skin.

  Mine.

  The thought surprised him, although in truth, it shouldn’t have. He’d been aware on some level that he was falling for her for quite some time now. Hell, it probably happened before they’d even slept together. He’d been taking it slowly for her sake. She was still jittery, still fearful of whatever the hell happened in her past.

  He wanted to know what it was, who hurt her, how many times had it happened? Her skittishness was a learned behavior. Whatever the hell had happened, it had been a long-term situation. A former lover? A family member? Someone of authority, such as one of the king’s guards Finn had mentioned?

  He leaned back in his chair and casually let his gaze sweep over each of the adults seated at the dining room table. He dismissed his parents and Felicia and Ben immediately, since they’d never met Carley until today. He dismissed his brother too, because while Finn had been living within the coterie, it hadn’t been for more than nine months, and for at least half that time Carley had been living in Chicago.

  He studied Dane, the second lightbearer Finn had brought to their sister’s house. According to his father, Dane was a pansy. According to Finn, he was sleeping with Lisa Bearrans, a shifter from their former pack who had been mated to Freddy Bearrans until Quentin had killed him when he wouldn’t give up information about Tanner’s whereabouts. It was strange to imagine Lisa hooking up with this guy, considering he had known Freddy for pretty much his entire life, and Freddy had been the polar opposite of Dane, who fit the term metrosexual better than any male in Reid’s immediate acquaintance.

  The lightbearer healer had perfectly coifed blond hair and eyes that were more violet than blue. He was several inches shorter and smaller than Reid. Hell, he and Lisa were practically the same build. He wondered what the hell she saw in the scrawny lightbearer, even as he wondered if he had not been the one who had abused Carley.

  “I’m so proud of you, Felicia,” the lightbearer in question announced. “You’re doing such a good job keeping the sodium to a minimum
. You and little Julia are both as healthy as can be.”

  Reid watched his sister as she lit up almost as brightly as a lightbearer at his compliment. He glanced at Carley. She had a wistful look on her face. Not an ounce of fear, not even in her emotions, which Reid had discovered he could actually feel, as if they were his own.

  So Dane wasn’t the culprit.

  Reid shifted his focus to Cecilia, his brother’s mate. It was amusing how the two of them bickered almost constantly, yet there was an underlying love that was clear as day. Not to mention the way her natural glow brightened every time she touched Finn. Reid cut his gaze to Carley, seated next to him and wondered if she had ever experienced that heightened glow. Would she ever experience it…with him?

  Did he want that? Of course he did. There was not a single doubt in his mind. He was only afraid that he would never be able to give himself fully to her, as she has already to him. Well, other than not speaking of her past. Considering he’d told her almost nothing about his own, he couldn’t exactly begrudge her that. Besides, they were moving forward, right? Who cared about the past? Bury those old memories and make new ones.

  He liked that idea. A lot.

  “Huh?” He’d been so caught up in his own thoughts, he had missed an entire conversation, and didn’t realize it until Cecilia said his name.

  “I said Carley doesn’t think she should go back to the coterie. But I told her Uncle Sander—that’s our king—would be happy to take her back as head chef at his house. I promise you, while the under chefs she trained are decent enough, no one compares to her.”

  Carley had tensed beside him. He reached over, cupped the back of her neck and massaged. She offered him a fleeting smile. He had a sudden urge to be alone with her, to take away her stress in the one way he knew was guaranteed to work. Problem was, they were in Felicia and Ben’s average-size home, with a larger than average group of people, and he doubted anyone was going to let them slip away on their own any time soon.

  “What are the sleeping arrangements?” he asked, ignoring Cecilia’s comment.

  “We figured we’d take the boys, so you all could stay up late, play cards, whatever, without having to worry about getting up in the morning,” his mother replied. His father looked as though he would rather stay at Felicia’s house with the rest of the adults, but he wisely did not say as much out loud.

  “Well, I still have to get up with Julia,” Felicia lamented. “But we’ll keep her in our bedroom, at least. Finn and Cecilia—you can have Austin and Bryan’s room. Reid—er—I assume…”

  “Yes.”

  Carley kept her eyes downcast, and he could see a faint blush staining her cheeks. Dane and Finn exchanged a look that made him slightly curious, but he pushed the thought away. No doubt, they were still reeling from the fact that he and Carley had found each other in the first place, in a city teeming with humans.

  “Okay, then you can sleep in the baby’s room. We’ll pull out sleeping bags and blankets, since the only bed in there at the moment is a crib. I’m sure you’d rather sleep on a pallet on the floor.”

  “Yes.”

  “Dane, I’m so sorry, but all we have left is the couch. Unless you’d like to go with my parents?”

  The male lightbearer shook his head. “I’ll be fine on the couch.”

  There was a flurry of activity, as the group simultaneously cleaned the dinner mess, packed Felicia and Ben’s sons for a sleepover at Grandma and Grandpa’s, and prepared the children’s rooms for guests. Before they ushered the boys out the door, Reid’s mother pulled him into a hug, holding him tightly and sniffling against his chest. When she finally pulled away, she cupped his face and offered a watery smile.

  “I’m so glad to have you back. Whatever you decide after this visit, please don’t go another nine months without communicating with your mother.” She said the word please, but to Reid, it sounded like a command.

  “You got it, Mom.” He wouldn’t. For the moment, he had it all: his family, a wonderful woman, the potential to join a pack that his sister swore was nothing like what they came from. Or he and Carley could go back to Chicago, where he had been accepted into her pack of human friends. If Carley ever decided she felt safe enough, they could go to the coterie. Finn clearly loved it, and insisted Tanner and Lisa did too. They’d found a new pack, new beginnings.

  For the first time in his life, Reid felt confident that his future was bright. All because of Carley.

  Much later that night, after several hours of playing cards and joking and teasing, when the adults finally made their ways to their respective bedrooms, he and Carley lay on the pallet in his niece’s bedroom. They were lying like spoons, his larger body wrapped around hers. His hand was under her nightgown, toying with her nipple, trying to entice her into having sex with him, despite the fact that his sister and brother slept in bedrooms on either side of them.

  “They’re probably doing the same thing,” he whispered as he nibbled her ear. He flexed his hips, the urge to push into her from behind riding him hard. He had never felt this urge before, not with anyone he’d even lain with.

  The urge to mate.

  Still, whether he could seduce her into having sex with him tonight or not, this was not the time or place. First, he needed to figure out how to give himself completely to her. It was the least she deserved, given the trauma she’d suffered in her past.

  He slid his hand south, while he licked and nipped at her neck, and she made faint gasping noises. His hand stroked over her hip, across her thigh, until he cupped her sex. She shifted her leg, opening for him, a silent invitation he was happy to accept. He slid a finger through her wet heat. She arched into him, lifted her arm, and clutched at his hair. He stroked again, a couple more times, before sliding his finger into her opening and pumping, mimicking sex. She panted, tightened her grip on his hair, and her hips began to move, keeping the rhythm he’d started.

  He kept up the ministrations until she came apart, her body tensing, her inner muscles squeezing his finger, her hand twisted so tightly into his hair, he was sure she’d pull away with a handful still in her grip. Then, while she was still shuddering and gasping for breath, he quickly flipped her onto her back, shoved his boxers down his legs and rolled over on top of her. She spread her legs, he grabbed her hips, lifted and pressed into her, groaning probably a little too loudly, but at the moment he didn’t give a hot damn. This felt too good. She felt too good.

  “Carley,” he said through gritted teeth, as he relentlessly pumped, the pressure building, quickly heading toward that boiling point. He was about to lose it. It felt too good. He didn’t want to stop, but he didn’t have a choice, as his balls tightened and his dick pulsed, and he pushed one last time before pouring himself into her and collapsing on top of her.

  *

  “Did you notice you didn’t have a panic attack?”

  Reid was propped on one elbow, his other hand stroking her hair, the smile on his face clearly sated. She closed her eyes and stretched. Her body still tingled from the effects of their recent lovemaking.

  “I guess you’ve cured me.” It was true, even though he laughed as if she was teasing. He had cured her. She no longer associated sex with something negative, with pain, with misery. She associated it only with Reid.

  Which was frustrating, because she couldn’t have him, not completely, and not forever. Sooner or later, he would figure out that she had a mate, that she wasn’t his, and never could be. It was such a depressing thought, it almost dampened her afterglow. Almost. But when she opened her eyes and looked up at Reid, his glowing eyes watching her with a hunger that was far more attractive than even his rather spectacular body, she decided to focus on the here and now. The future would happen, eventually, whether she wanted it to or not. She might as well enjoy the moment while she could.

  She lifted her hand, cupped his scruffy cheek. She wished they could stay like this forever, to forget the rest of the world existed.

  “Do you w
ant to stay here?”

  His face registered surprise at her question. “Are you offering?”

  She shook her head. “This isn’t about me. It’s about you. And your family. Your life.”

  “You’re part of that life. I don’t care what I do, where I go, as long as it’s with you.”

  As far as proclamations went, it was a pretty powerful one. He couldn’t have expressed himself better if he’d said, “I love you.”

  Carley’s heart ached for what he offered. What she couldn’t have.

  “That’s so sweet,” she managed to say, despite the tightness of her throat.

  “It’s true.” He grabbed her hip, pulled her tightly against him. “You’re mine. And I’m yours. I…I want to tell you about what happened. About the scars.”

  “You…you do?” A small part of her did not really want to know, because she’d already seen the scars, and whatever had caused them had to have been horribly painful for Reid. She didn’t want to think about him suffering like that. Yet, she understood what he offered. He wanted to tell her, to cleanse himself of the past, to move forward.

  “It’s isn’t a pleasant story, to tell or to hear.”

  He trailed a finger over her thigh. Shimmers of magic followed in its wake. She watched for a moment, marveling at the way he was able to pull her magic to the surface of her skin, to almost manipulate it like that.

  “You don’t have to.”

  “It’s important that I do. I—I think since it happened, I’ve, I don’t know, sort of closed myself off from everyone. I haven’t had a meaningful relationship since. Not even with my own family. I want that to change. I want to change that with you.”

  Lights above. She wanted to cry, to scream, to shout with frustration and joy. She understood what he offered. Him. His world. Everything.

  And she could have none of it.

  But how did she tell him? As far as their relationship had progressed, to confess that she had a mate and could not fully commit to him would feel like a betrayal. She couldn’t tell him now, while they were visiting his family. It wasn’t fair. Neither was not telling him at all, of course, but doing it now, while everything else in his life was so perfect, seemed like the worse of two evils.