Heart and Seoul (The Seoul Series Book 1)

by Erin Kinsella

  “I don’t, but I was willing to suffer through it if you did.”

  Tessa laughed. “Let’s find something we both like.”

  Eun Gi scrolled some more, glancing at the menu between checking reviews. “They have a steak and lobster dish at one of the restaurants that sounds good, and a jumbo shrimp hot pot at the other.”

  She grinned. “Let’s get it all.”

  A knock on the door heralded the arrival of a cart laden with food, including strawberries and champagne on ice. They set up on the terrace and sat with their feet in the pool. Candles flickered at the four corners, casting wavering images over the water. Eun Gi poured them each champagne.

  “Being married to you has its perks.” She held out the glass to him. “A toast to our sham marriage. May it be happy and free of drama.”

  The flutes clinked together.

  Eun Gi sipped at the bubbly concoction and swung his arm over her shoulder. Tessa jumped.

  “Thank you for everything,” he whispered over the rim of his glass.

  She sank against him, their temples resting together. “You’re welcome.”

  The happenings of the day were one perceived impossibility after the next coming true. She was sitting in a hotel room with her idol on their honeymoon. If she could have told her younger self this would happen, she’d have gone into cardiac arrest.

  Tessa chuckled to herself and shook her head when he raised a questioning eyebrow.

  They worked their way through the cart of food, feet swishing in the pool and Eun Gi passing her the best pieces until the plates and bowls sat empty.

  “Want to sit in the water?”

  “Sure, if they thought to pack me a swimsuit.”

  She dug through her suitcase and found a sleek red one-piece. Tessa changed in the bathroom and came out to Eun Gi already in the pool. The champagne flutes had been refilled and awaited her.

  She slipped in next to him and accepted the drink.

  “You look cute,” he said. “Red suits you.”

  A blush burned across her freckled cheeks. “Thank you.”

  The water was heated, drawing her in until she settled chest deep. She squirmed, self-conscious with his focus on her. The cool air had goose bumps springing up across her arms.

  Tessa’s curls were pinned to keep them out of the water, but one wayward coil escaped confinement. His fingers twirled around it, and goose bumps erupted for an entirely different reason.

  Don’t think about the kiss. Her breath turned shallow and her gaze flickered to his.

  “I feel bad that you didn’t get to experience all the usual wedding activities,” Eun Gi said softly.

  “It’s okay.”

  His fingertips still toyed with that strand of hair, and she struggled to focus on anything else.

  “I’m certain you’re just saying that so I don’t feel guilty.” His thumb stroked her cheek, and she resisted the urge to lean into it. “You didn’t get to plan it, choose your dress, have a first dance. You even got stuck with me at the altar instead of someone you wanted to kiss.”

  “Oh, I wanted to kiss you.” She froze, and her thoughts ping-ponged through panicked curses.

  Eun Gi bit his lip in a vain attempt to contain his laughter, but it was a battle he quickly lost.

  “I’m sorry.” She inched away awkwardly.

  “You don’t have to apologize for that.”

  Tessa groaned. “But it’s weird.”

  “Well, then I’m weird too.”

  Her brain flew into maximum panic.

  He wanted to kiss me? Holy shit. What do I do? What do I say?’

  “Do you still want to?”

  Every muscle was taut as steel, her mind churning.

  Oh God. Not that. You’re not allowed to talk anymore.

  “Yes,” he said, matter-of-factly, as if that confirmation didn’t send her heart into overdrive.

  “Oh,” she managed. Her pulse was back to its kettledrum pounding in her ears. “Right now?”

  His fingers curled around the back of her neck and he moved closer. “Yes. If you want to.”

  He searched her face. Her gaze kept dropping to his lips, helpless. She’d never wished for telepathy more than this moment.

  “Please,” she whispered.

  A shudder twisted up her spine.

  This time there were no cameras, no watching eyes, no pressure. The same gentle warmth from the wedding enveloped her. Her arms snaked around his shoulders, and he moved her closer, fingers spreading across her back. The space between them disappeared, mouths seeking the heat of one another. Tessa pressed forward and ended up in his lap, blood simmering.

  A small sound escaped her mouth. He pulled back and fastened his lips against her throat, sparking ripples of sensation through her body. She gasped in his ear, and her hips rocked a sultry rhythm.

  Her brain was screaming, mind abuzz with desire and panic.

  “Yes,” she growled.

  She wanted a lot, but a voice in the back of her mind urged caution. Tessa braced her hands on the edge of the pool and pushed away.

  “Wait.”

  He pulled back immediately. “What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t…” her lungs burned like she’d run a marathon, “…want to rush.”

  “Then we won’t.” He traced his fingertips over her cheek and stayed still beneath her. “Should we go to bed?”

  She sighed and sank against him. “Probably.”

  His mouth brushed hers, petal soft. “There’s no rush.”

  Tessa’s heart slammed hard against her ribs. Blaming the champagne for her choices would be convenient, but also a lie. She wanted him badly, but she was also afraid of how willing she was to fall face-first into whatever this was.

  He covered a yawn. “Sorry. Our early morning tired me out. Want to sleep so we can explore early tomorrow?”

  “Sure.”

  Summoning her last bit of boldness, she pressed a short, small kiss to his mouth and then climbed out of the pool.

  Eun Gi

  Sleep eluded Eun Gi for the better part of the night as he processed the day. Tessa slept peacefully next to him, and he was entranced by the rise and fall of her chest. He thought of their first kiss, then the others that had followed, and wriggled uncomfortably. The whole week she’d seemed like she was poised on the edge of something but was too nervous to step over it. Now he knew what it was.

  Only moments before the ceremony Mi Na had drilled into his brain to make things look perfect for the cameras. He knew how to do that. It was ingrained into his being at this point in his life. There was no issue with understanding how to hold her for the best angles, but his nerves had blurred his thoughts and had his heart ready to beat right through his chest. Then he’d felt the tremble of her mouth before she melted against him, sweet and warm, and he’d forgotten about the cameras entirely. It was unexpected.

  Falling asleep to the sound of her heartbeat, wrapped around her, night after night, had made him pliable and vulnerable. How was he supposed to resist getting attached to her?

  Now they were married.

  Do not think about what married people do.

  Eun Gi released his breath slowly.

  The first kiss had made him curious, and when she’d spilled her own desires, he’d taken the opportunity to satisfy his curiosity. He hadn’t expected all…that. His body had been taut as a bowstring, desperate for more, and then she’d called a halt to things scant moments after he’d surrendered to it entirely.

  Another deep breath.

  Stopping hadn’t been a problem, but now, in the quiet dark, his memory kept taunting him. He considered getting up to take matters into his own hands, but when he tried to slither free, she only nestled closer.

  Fuck.

  He shifted away from the warmth of her pressed against him.

  It’s not fair. I was doing just fine lying next to her before all this.

  Rolling carefully, he inched slowly away, waiting to se
e if she’d wake. She remained still and quiet, and he vacated the bed to indulge his errant desires in the shower.

  It helped. A bit. The moment he returned, she wrapped around him and he settled comfortably. Hopefully sleep would take him before his body recovered enough to make things awkward.

  Morning invaded with a knock at the door and a room service cart that they’d pre-ordered the night before. Eun Gi woke slowly, hair in every direction from his restless sleep. He took the cart from the staff and arranged it out on the terrace. Tessa was awake by then and sitting up in bed. He poured himself some coffee and indulged in the view of his sleepy-eyed bride and her fuzzed curls.

  “Good morning,” she mumbled. Her cheeks turned pink. “Oh God.”

  Eun Gi smiled into his coffee. “Good morning.”

  She scrubbed her hands over her face. “I shouldn’t have done any of that.”

  “Notice you’re not hearing any complaints from me.”

  Lifting the cover on the cart revealed small bowls of rice, eggs, seaweed soup, and kimchi alongside a plate of grilled snapper.

  He looked up at her. “If you’re uncomfortable with what happened, we can always pretend it didn’t. I just need to know what direction you want things to go.”

  “That implies that I have any idea what I want,” Tessa mused.

  He sat down next to her and fixed his gaze on her face. Her mouth dropped open a fraction.

  “Don’t you?” His stomach squeezed.

  “Well, I mean, um.” Her eyes flitted to the ceiling. “I got a little scared, because I like you, and I don’t want to fuck it up. Plus, I’ve always had kind of a difficult time with the physical side of relationships. Usually it takes me so long to feel any of this…” her hand gestured back and forth between them, “…if I ever do feel it at all. I tend to take a long while to warm up to people in every sense and I’m not sure how to process the fact that it happened so quickly with you.”

  Eun Gi nodded slowly. “Could you specify what exactly you’re feeling?”

  He liked the rush of pink that warmed her cheeks.

  “Things.”

  “Very specific.” Eun Gi smiled. He tugged her to stand in front of him, between his knees, and settled his palms on her hips. “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Another one?”

  He nodded.

  “Okay.”

  “Do you think you’d still like me if I weren’t UpBeat?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “If my persona wasn’t real at all.” He paused, both to collect his thoughts and to brace for her answer. “If it was just me, would you be disappointed?”

  “Of course not.”

  It was likely an automatic reaction to spare his feelings, but then her hand was against his cheek, soft and gentle. He had millions of people across the world professing their love for him without knowing him. They knew a cultivated piece of him and loved that. It wasn’t that UpBeat was a false projection, but his fears, concerns, and flaws were pruned away to create an easily digestible product for public consumption.

  “I don’t know you as well as I’d like to yet, but I like what I do know.” She sank to her knees. “I missed you while I was gone. I wouldn’t have missed a persona.”

  He couldn’t quite manage to breathe past the knot in his chest. His face burned, gaze trapped by hers.

  “I missed you too.”

  Tessa pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I want to brush my teeth before I kiss you properly, but I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

  She disappeared into the bathroom, and the tension dissolved out of his body. He sat there staring after her. Their situation would be far less complicated and confusing if he’d resolved to treat her like a temporary houseguest, but it was too late for that now. Sung Soo was right. He did have a crush on his wife, and he didn’t have a clue what to do about it.

  When she emerged again, the tension zipped back. It didn’t appear she was faring any better.

  “I’m sorry if I’m awkward. I am really not good at this kind of thing. Honestly, it’s a wonder anybody ever had the patience to date me.” She shuffled forward and sat down with a sigh. “Actually, scratch that, only one person did.”

  “That just means only one person had any sense.” He grinned at her. “Want some tea?”

  “Please.”

  They’d sent up a selection of teas in a fancy cherrywood box. She chose the ginseng, and he prepared it for her. Summoning his courage, he forced out a suggestion he’d been contemplating.

  “What do you think about dating?” He glanced over at her, and she was watching him over the rim of her cup. “This is a weird situation, but it’s not like we’ll get in trouble if we go out in public together. If you’d rather not, that’s okay.”

  “This is going to sound stupid since we’re married, but I’m kind of having a moment over you wanting to date me.”

  “It’s just me,” he reminded her.

  “I’m sorry, but have you met you? Do you have any concept of how talented you are? Not to mention that you’ve been incredibly sweet, and you’re unfairly pretty to the point it makes me insecure.”

  Eun Gi’s chest warmed. He pulled her up, setting her cup down carefully before looping his arms around her waist.

  “Well, if we’re complimenting each other, then I’ll catch up. You…” he dropped a kiss to the curve of her throat, and her fingers curled into his hair, “…are sweeter than I deserve, and…” he worked his way up her neck, “…I don’t know if you’ve properly looked at yourself lately, but you also tend to be unfairly pretty.”

  She shivered in his grasp, fingers kneading his scalp.

  “Also, full confession, but I may have teared up at several points when I read your book. And then I went and read your first and second books too.”

  He lifted his head, and Tessa’s eyes gleamed with tears.

  “You read them?”

  “Should I not have?” he asked, suddenly worried.

  The air came out of him in a whoosh when she threw herself fully against him, arms squeezing.

  “God, no, you’re absolutely allowed. I’m so self-conscious about my early work.”

  “Well that’s something we share. I look at our debut photos sometimes, and I have this thing in my head like ‘how did this infant ever get a career?’”

  “You were so little.” Tessa giggled, dropping her forehead to his shoulder. “I loved your debut stage, but then I loved every stage afterwards too, so I’m not very helpful.”

  He inched them both towards the terrace. “Breakfast is getting cold. I’m happy to shower my wife in compliments, but you have to eat first.”

  It felt incredibly weird to say ‘my wife’ but the way she blossomed when he did tempered a lot of the awkwardness.

  “So,” he said, “what’s your favourite food?”

  Tessa blinked in surprise and laughed. “Korean or otherwise?”

  “Both,” he said.

  Over breakfast they covered most of the basics, absorbing bits of trivia about the other. Tessa told him she already knew some of it from various media, but she seemed pleased nonetheless to have him share the information. Favourite foods, colours, activities, and more passed between them. She shared about being neighbors and best friends with Kelly all through school and he shared about getting to know the other members in their early years. They talked all morning, picking their way through the food, until the lure of sunshine prompted them to get ready for the day.

  “Yuna has a problem with me being taller than you, doesn’t she?” Tessa rustled through the suitcase the stylist had packed for her. “Not that I’m crazy about heels, but am I not allowed at all? Every pair are flats.”

  “We can buy some while we’re out if you want.” The idea was almost too exciting and he crossed his legs when he sat down on the bed. “I don’t mind that you’re taller.”

  The boots wrapped shining black leather around her calves, and she wiggled back and forth in
them. “I wish they’d have given us a heads-up to pack our own things. I hate breaking in new shoes. My feet are absolute babies about it.”

  “We don’t have to walk far.”

  “I hope not. If my boots try to consume my flesh, you’ll have to carry me back to the hotel.” She snickered. “Could you imagine what Yuna would say if someone got pictures of me wearing comfy runners with this outfit?”

  Tessa gestured to the sleeveless black knit dress that hugged her body from turtleneck halter to mid thigh. His attention flitted between her long legs and those amazing boots, to her golden bare arms, to the curls she’d barely managed to tame, with small gold hoops in her ears peeking between the ringlets.

  “So what’s the plan for today? I should have figured that out before getting dressed, but it’s not like Yuna packed any hiking gear so all the nature stuff is out of the question.”

  Eun Gi flipped through one of the brochures provided by the hotel, cheeks bursting into flames when he got to one particular place that Jeju was known for. Loveland. Tessa dropped onto the bed next to him.

  “What’s with the face?” She turned the brochure towards her and burst out laughing. “Oh my God! Kelly and Min Joo went a few years ago, and the pics were hilarious. Did you want to go?”

  “I don’t not want to go.” He fidgeted and avoided eye contact.

  “I guess it doesn’t hurt to check it out. We can always leave if we don’t like it.”

  Eun Gi’s first thought when they stepped through the gates of the park was that he definitely should not have agreed to this. Being an adult was supposed to offer some sort of immunization against the colossal embarrassment that consumed him…and yet. Standing hand in hand with his pretty wife, facing statues in every conceivable position and penises everywhere, he could barely make eye contact.

  “Come on, we have to take a selfie so I can send it to Kelly.” She tugged him over to a statue where a woman was hanging upside down in her lover’s embrace, each partner pleasuring the other. Heat lanced through him as an image of Tessa in that exact position filled his head, and he’d never been more grateful for tight jeans in his life.