A Different Light

by Morningstar Ashley

  Mac didn’t say anything. Bennett wasn’t sure if he fell asleep or if he’d said something wrong.

  “B, you do know that wasn’t planned, right? I mean I wanted you but I only planned on the kissing not the…coming.”

  “Mac, I know, and even if you planned it, I couldn’t be upset. That was fucking hot.” Mac chuckled, but it was a sleepy contented sound. Bennett didn’t want to leave his arms, but there was no way they were ready for the morning after wake up. Bennett waited a minute then started to get up. He turned to look at Mac, a soft smile greeted him. “I’m gonna go.” He waited to see what Mac would say. Would he protest?

  “Yeah, I get it,” Mac replied as he reached up and ran his fingers through Bennett’s hair. Bennett smiled and stood.

  Mac followed him to the front door and held it open for Bennett.

  “I had a good time tonight. Mac. Even if I really need a shower now.” They both laughed.

  “Yeah, me too, Princess.” Mac leaned forward kissing him hot and wet before pulling back quickly. Bennett walked out the door but was stopped by Mac before he got much more than a few steps. “You never did tell me the names of the hamsters, B.”

  “Ugh, I had such high hopes that you’d forgotten.”

  “Nope, so spill it.”

  “Fine. Archimedes and Albert Einstein, ‘cause even back then, I loved physics.”

  Mac laughed just like he’d known he would, but it was playful and light, and Bennett found himself not caring that he was laughing at him. “Yup, definitely a nerd but a sexy as fuck nerd.”

  Bennett shook his head and walked away. He wasn’t sure what was happening, but he was glad to let it happen because he couldn’t remember having this much fun with someone he was intimate with.

  “No,” Bennett replied sharply.

  “B, come on. It’ll be fun.”

  “I said no, Mac.”

  Mac was having too much fun. His prim Princess was coming out to play. “Everyone’s doing it,” He wheedled, as he waggled his eyebrows at Bennett.

  Bennett crossed his arms over his chest, bringing Mac’s focus to Bennett’s forearms. “Very funny.” Bennett rolled his eyes.

  Over the last month that he’d been here, Bennett gained some more definition to those arms and Mac was sure other parts of him too. If only Mac could get him naked to inspect the changes. He groaned internally. Mac’s thoughts kept shifting to naked Bennett since last night when things had gotten a little out of control and they’d ended up coming together on Mac’s couch.

  “But think about it. How many science geeks can say they know how to ride a motorcycle? You’d be like a…a…a unicorn in a field of horses.”

  “That was terrible, even for you.” Mac could see the slight smile Bennett was trying to hold in. Mac had to admit it was a terrible analogy, but fancy shit like that wasn’t his strong suit.

  “Yeah, well you’re more the wordsmith, I’m more the…opposite of that,” Mac chuckled, earning yet another eye roll from Bennett. “Please just let me teach you. You don’t want to hurt my feelings, do you?” Mac stuck his bottom lip out and faked a sniffle.

  “You are terrible and pouting doesn’t work.” Bennett turned away then, packing up the paint in the bedroom that he’d been painting. Mac was thoroughly shocked when he’d come over after a day of painting in his studio again to find Bennett doing some painting of his own. Mac was sure the guy never took a day off from it either.

  They both needed the fun, and Mac wanted to hang out with Bennett some more. Shit, any excuse he could use to get his hands on Bennett was a good excuse in his book. What better way than teaching him to ride his motorcycle? Maybe he’d even get on behind him, wrapping his arms around Bennett and copping a feel.

  Mac could feel the laughter wanting to bubble up. “Copping a feel,” he was such a dork. Teasing Bennett made him giddy, like a teenage idiot crushing on someone they had no chance with. But it felt good, light and happy.

  It wasn’t that he thought he had no chance with Bennett, he clearly did, at least sexually. It wasn’t like Bennett had moved back home, so anything else was out of the question.

  “Come on, Princess. What will convince you to try?”

  “Nothing,” Bennett replied over his shoulder as he walked into the bathroom to wash the paint off his hands. Mac followed, standing in the doorway, he admired yet another part of Bennett he loved. His ass. His cute, sexy, grabbable ass.

  “I’ll pay you.” Mac’s wicked thoughts were going to get him into trouble.

  Bennett turned, then. Staring at him through narrowed, distrustful eyes. “Pay me?” The question came out warily.

  “Yup.”

  “The look on your face already tells me you’re being a pervert, Mac. I’m not going to enable you and your dirty thoughts.” Bennett slid passed him, his body brushing against Mac’s and causing him to groan, and walked downstairs.

  Mac followed. “Oh, come on, B. Live a little. It can be our secret. I won’t even tell anyone.”

  Mac heard Bennett sigh as he trailed behind him into the living room at the front of the house. “You have no one to tell that I’d care if they knew, and I have no need to learn that particular skill.”

  “Do you always only learn skills you need to learn?”

  “Yes. What’s the point of learning a skill I have no need for?” Bennett asked as he turned to face Mac.

  “To have fun?”

  “I have fun.”

  “Sure you do,” Mac taunted teasingly. Bennett was completely unaware since his defenses were up.

  “I do.” Bennett crossed his arms over his chest. “I go to the movies with my best friend, I read mystery novels, I watch crime documentaries on tv, and I go to museums and art galleries.”

  “Oh, that sounds like a hoot, Princess,” Mac deadpanned.

  By the look on Bennett’s face, he was finally getting that Mac was making fun of him. “I’ll have you know they are fun, and I learn from them. Why would I need frivolous skills that I’ll never use?”

  Without thought, Mac took a step toward Bennett and said without censure, “To live outside the box you’ve put yourself in. That safe place gives you comfort, sure, but it also restricts your life.” Trying to give the subject the seriousness that was needed, Mac asked in a calm, quiet voice, “How long have you been closing yourself off from people, B?”

  When Bennett’s eyes blinked and the normal prim Princess fell from his eyes, Mac knew that it’d been since that night in the woods. Without answering, Bennett turned away from where they were standing by the bay window in the living room to take a seat on the long brown leather couch. Mac followed, staying quiet. He knew bringing up that night wouldn’t be easy, but if what he suspected was true, someone needed to convince this beautiful man that he didn’t need to be afraid.

  He took a seat one cushion away from Bennett. Far enough to give him space but not too far in case space wasn’t what Bennett wanted.

  When Bennett spoke, it was with a stronger voice than Mac thought it would be, quiet but sure. Bennett may have been closed off or cautious of the world, but he wasn’t weakened by it.

  “It’s not that I’m closed off. At least, that’s not how I see it. My best friend, Jaden, he would tell you differently. He’s always telling me that I push people away too fast, not giving them an opportunity to show me I can trust them. I see it as why wait for them to show me I can’t trust them. That’s smarter.” He paused. “That’s safe.”

  “I get that and who doesn’t want to feel safe but having fun and having friends and boyfriends is part of life. Not every person is going to be like those jackasses you called friends or the group of bullies that…” Mac paused, struggling to find the words that encompassed what they had done to him, “…assaulted you.” Mac reached over putting his hand on Bennett’s knee. Sometimes the simplest of touches can give the world of comfort. He wanted nothing more than to lend any comfort he could to Bennett.

  Bennett looked down at his
hand, said nothing, did nothing, just stared. Mac thought about removing it but then Bennett reached over with his hand, placing it on top of Mac’s.

  Never lifting his eyes from their joined hands, Bennett spoke, his words sounding pained. “You know, yesterday I ran into Keith at the diner. It was the most surreal thing to happen to me in a long time. He was just there and all the feelings of anger and hurt bubbled up inside of me. I felt like time slowed. Like here it was, my moment. My time to stand up and say something to one of the people I once trusted, and I could lash out and finally feel vindicated.” Bennett let out a harsh laugh, not a joyous sound but one full of pain. “It felt nothing like I wanted it to. It felt hollow and dirty and wrong. I said what I wanted to say, and I don’t regret it, but I hate that it’s still this living thing inside me and letting it out didn’t help.”

  Mac let the words sink in, waiting for Bennett to speak more if he wanted too. After a few minutes, when neither of them spoke or moved, Mac spoke up.

  “Maybe it wasn’t about vindication. Maybe speaking out can be a starting point for you. You can start to take your life back from those that hurt you.”

  “I’m not hurt. I’m strong and I’ve lived and survived and pushed through and made a life for myself. I’m proud of my accomplishments. I have a PhD, damnit. I’m not a victim.” The words were grating with the tightness Mac could hear in Bennett’s voice.

  “You did and you are strong. I’ve seen that in you in the last month, and your mom has also gone on and on about her strong son, how proud you make both your parents.” Mac reached over with his free hand, wrapping their joined hands in that one. “You may be all the things you said, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have broken parts inside waiting to be fixed and made whole again. Words can’t always heal but speaking up, that can be the catalyst to start the healing of those broken parts.”

  The tension in the room was so thick, and Mac didn’t know how to help, this wasn’t his skill set. Working with his hands on bikes, houses, or a canvas was where he soared. But he couldn’t let Bennett just sit there and say nothing.

  “Thank you, Mac. Words may not heal, but yours mean a lot.”

  “Please. Don’t thank me. I only said what anyone else would’ve said.”

  Bennett smiled a genuine smile and relief hit Mac square in the chest. Letting out a gush of air, he fell back against the couch, relaxed after what felt like forever. Bennett released his hands at the same time and fell back too.

  Mac missed Bennett’s hands on his.

  Out of the corner of his eye, Mac could see Bennett turned his head to stare at him. “Okay, you convinced me. Let’s do it.”

  Mac snapped his head toward Bennett, shocked to hear the concession from him. “The lesson? Seriously?”

  “Yeah, why not? Like you said, I’ve put myself in a box. I don’t much like that idea.”

  Bennett was standing up from the couch making his way toward the front door before Mac could even process the quick change. Jumping up, he followed. He was excited. Getting Bennett’s sexy ass on a bike was motivation number one, but now, he got to be the one to help Bennett. Maybe, in a small way, making up for his lack of action ten years ago.

  They walked silently over to Mac’s house, the adrenaline starting to thrum through Mac’s body. Imagining the thrill Bennett would feel once he got moving on the bike, the freedom he would feel, had him feeling like it did the first time he ever was on a bike.

  Once they reached the garage, Mac walked over, entered his code into the keypad, and the garage door opened. Next to his pickup truck was his 2014 Suzuki Boulevard C50 BOSS Edition. He loved that bike. Completely black with dual exhaust and a rumble that coursed through him when he was flying down the twisty mountain roads.

  He turned back toward Bennett, who stood there staring apprehensively at the bike. Mac knew it looked big but it was low and only weighed six-hundred pounds, so in comparison to some other style bikes, his was small. “Come on, B.” Mac grabbed at Bennett’s wrist and pulled him into the garage toward the bike. Without letting go, he turned his head and said, “You ready to ride?” Then winked. Bennett chuckled a nervous sound, but a little bit of the tension he’d been carrying left his body.

  Mac walked Bennett through each step. Pulling the bike out of the garage, getting on it up, then starting it up. He explained where the clutch was—and what it did— where the brake and throttle were, and the last thing, the kickstand.

  For almost an hour, Mac watched Bennett give it his all. By the time Bennett got off the bike, refusing to get back on, his shoulders were so filled with tension they were practically at his ears. Again.

  No matter how hard he tried Bennett couldn’t keep the bike from stalling on him.

  “Come on, B, one more time.”

  “No, I’m done. I obviously cannot learn this stupid skill.” He stalked off toward Mac’s front door. Mac sighed and put the bike away, knowing that failing probably wasn’t something Bennett handled well. From all the stories Mrs. Cole had told him and others over the years, Bennett rarely failed at anything.

  Mac walked into his house to find Bennett standing in his family room, bottle of water in hand, staring at Mac’s studio door with a curious look on his face. The same look dogs got when they tilted their heads and looked at you like you were crazy. It was definitely time to steer Bennett’s thoughts away from what was behind that door.

  Mac walked over to Bennett and pulled him around to face him—away from his studio, thank god—by wrapping his arm around Bennett’s waist. He could say it was just to lend comfort, but Mac had a rule about lying to himself.

  “It wasn’t that bad, B. We can try again another time.”

  “No, I crashed and burned and I won’t embarrass myself like that again.” Bennett’s cheeks were flushed, and he had this cute little pout that made Mac want to lean in and bite his plump bottom lip. However, he was trying to at least act like a good friend who didn’t think dirty thoughts about their other friend.

  “Hey. Stop that. It was only the first lesson.”

  “I couldn’t even get the coordination of the clutch and throttle at the same damn time. I have a PhD for fucks sake.”

  “A PhD doesn’t mean you’ll succeed at everything, B,” Mac said, stepping back and pulling Bennett toward the couch. They sat, slightly facing each other, with practically no space between them. “At least you tried, and maybe you’ll try again and succeed that time. It’s like when I was a kid, I hated mashed potatoes. The texture just made me gag but then I tried them again and again until, as an adult, I started to love them.”

  A small, amused smile spread across Bennett’s lips. “You really aren’t a wordsmith. What do mashed potatoes have to do with learning to drive a motorcycle?” Bennett asked.

  “You’re overthinking it. It’s like this, I tried them as a kid and hated them, but as an adult I loved them. You should really try the diner’s mashed potatoes, they’re my favorite.”

  Then Bennett chuckled, the red flush of embarrassment disappearing from his cheeks. Mac knew the analogy sucked because really, learning a skill and eating food aren’t the same thing, but he also knew that lightening the mood with his less than stellar words would reach his goal of making Bennett smile and forget that he failed at something. His Princess really had the brightest smile.

  “I want to kiss you,” Mac murmured, his tone seductive and his eyes fixed on Bennett’s lips. The harsh intake of a breath caused him to break his stare and looked up, straight into a heated look from Bennett. Mac watched as Bennett licked his bottom lip, leaned forward and climbed over his legs to straddle him, and slowly lowered his ass right onto the rigid length of his cock all while staring right into his eyes. Mac could feel the heat between them, feel Bennett’s hardening length pressing against his belly. The shock of him taking Mac’s statement this far made it hard to think. Having his lap full of Bennett wasn’t helping either.

  “Bennett,” He growled out.

  “
You want to kiss me, Mac?” Bennett asked, in a voice that Mac hadn’t heard from him before, but from then on, he wanted to hear it over and over again.

  Mac nodded his head, never taking his eyes off Bennett but unable to get his brain to move his lips.

  “Then do it.”

  A couple of days later, they found themselves in the center of White Acre. The small town had always been big on celebrations, but Mac thought they’d really out done themselves this year. He couldn’t believe how many people had turned out for the town’s fourth of July celebration. It always had a great turn out, but none that compared to this one.

  Sheriff Miller and his men had cordoned off the main street so that some businesses could put up tents that had food, crafts, and drinks for the people to buy. There was even face painting, bounce houses, and some small rides set up in the grocery store parking lot.

  Mac all but forced Bennett to join him and his friends for their annual town party. Bennett said he hadn’t felt it was his place to go. Because, in his words, “I’m no longer a part of this town.” To Mac, he still was, and he always would be, but he also understood the sentiment. After all, he was gone for the last ten years. However, he poked and prodded—some kisses hadn’t hurt—until Bennett had finally said he’d go.

  The four of them—Mac, Bennett, Danny, and Allie—met up at the diner around two in the afternoon to plan out what they wanted to do. As they walked around from food tent to food tent, Danny and Mac eating something from almost every single one, Allie talked to Bennett about the changes the town had gone through. They hadn’t been able to walk ten feet without some of the towns people stopping Bennett to talk and catch up. Others avoided them, but that was a normal part of growing up as what those people deemed different in a small town.

  There was no place on earth a person could live that everyone accepted all of who they were. Mac had long gotten over their disapproval, mainly because of Allie and her strength, showing him that being himself in the face of all that they threw at them was how they got back at the haters. Over time, as the younger generation grew up, there were more on their side than against. It wasn’t ever easy, but it was easier.