"What's wrong with you?" Evan was sitting across from her at the dinner table, having made delicious salmon on the grill. The man could cook. He was a god.
Waahh.
She'd bet a platter of pancakes and a bucket of maple syrup that she'd feel better if she cried. Too bad Amazons don't cry.
"Josie? What's wrong?"
She looked up from her broccoli and tried to smile. "Nothing. Why?"
"You haven't insulted me since I got home from work today. What's up?"
It figured the man had to be perceptive. "I..." Nope. She couldn't tell him. But it wasn't because she was selfish. It was because she was protecting him from being disappointed by his brother again. First, she'd find out Buddy's agenda. Then she'd decide whether to tell Evan. She was so altruistic she should've been a nun. "I haven't insulted you because you're great in the sack and I'm hoping to get another chance at your hot bod tonight."
"Josie Lynn Harper, what kind of filth is coming out of your mouth? As your mother, I just might have to take you upstairs and wash your mouth out with soap."
Oh, great. This was all she needed. She looked over her shoulder. Yep. Nightmare was real. Her mom was marching into the dining room carrying three grocery bags. "What are you doing here?"
"Keeping up with the boys." She jerked her head toward the kitchen. "I'll just go ahead and start cooking. You two don't bother to get up."
"Boys? What boys?"
The slam of the front door and a surge of raucous male voices gave her the answer she didn't want.
"Your brothers are here, darling." The door swung shut behind her mom.
As the ominous thud of brotherly aggravation came down the hall, Josie eyed Evan, who was looking much too pleased. "Did you invite them so you wouldn't have to face me? Are you already having second thoughts?"
"Didn't invite them." He held up his hand and got drive by high-fives as her brothers marched through.
In between the "hey, dude" and "whassup," she heard a reference to the Red Sox. "Game tonight?"
"Guess so," Evan said.
Her brothers disappeared into the family room, where Evan had a wastefully large television.
"He's got the biggest TV set," came the yelled explanation.
"Great." So this is what it was like when her family liked her man. Not that Evan was her man, but they thought he was. And Evan was looking really pleased about it. "You want to go in there with them instead of eating out here?"
He shrugged, but his eyes lit up. "If you don't mind?"
Josie pursed her lips. "You don't even like the Red Sox. I've never even seen you turn on the television."
"Yeah, but your brothers make it fun." A shout erupted from the living room, and one of her brothers yelled for Evan.
"Is it okay?" He was half standing.
Suddenly she had a very bad feeling. "Before you go, answer one question for me."
He sat back down. "What's up?"
"Even though the Buddy issue still lingers, and you're still wrought with guilt over sleeping with the woman your brother loves, you seem quite okay with letting things continue between us for a while."
He shrugged. "I guess."
"Is it because of me, or because you want my family?"
His face immediately closed off. "Don't talk about my family."
"I'm not. I'm talking about mine. Is that why you want me? For my family?" A deep, ugly pain started in her abdomen and began infecting outward. "Evan?" It was like Buddy all over again. Being used. Like Tom. Not being loved. Or valued.
But Evan had a totally shocked look on his face, as if he'd never even considered her words.
Until she'd said them.
"No." But he didn't sound convinced. "I don't need family."
"Who are you kidding? You're obsessed with family." Josie flung her arm out. "That's why you have this huge house, isn't it? Because you want to fill it with people who are related to you. And I fit, don't I? Whether I marry Buddy or you, either way, you'll get my family. Right?"
Evan jumped to his feet. "Listen, Josie, what happened between you and me has nothing to do with your family. You're the one who doesn't even want a relationship. Sex only, remember?"
"So you don't care about me?" I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.
He cursed. "Of course I care about you. But you're making this way more complicated than it is. I don't understand."
"Forget it." She grabbed her purse. "I have to go anyway."
"Where?" He caught her arm. "I thought we were going to stay here tonight."
"With my brothers and my mom? How romantic." She fought the urge to collapse into his arms like a weak female and beg him to love her and to take care of her. "Tell me this: if Buddy didn't exist, and my family didn't exist, and I fell in love with you, what would you do?"
His face darkened and he dropped his hand from her arm. "Why are you asking me that?"
"Because I want to know." Duh.
"But it doesn't matter what would happen then, because it's not the way it is."
"I know that. But I want to know anyway." Typical stupid man. Didn't he realize this was her way of finding out whether he could love her for who she was? Obviously not. Or maybe he did realize it and didn't want to answer. "Answer the question."
He folded his arms across his chest. "No."
"Why not?"
"Because Buddy exists, and there's no point in pretending he doesn't."
Damn Buddy. Damn her family. Damn Tom for messing her up.
Everyone was responsible for messing up her life.
Oh, fine.
She was responsible too. Because she was a wimp who couldn't manage to keep her strength when men were around.
Obviously, it was time for her to take control. Buddy Dorsett, watch your back. I'm coming to get you.
"Monica's picking me up. I'm outta here. Have a good night. And try not to promise my mom that you'll impregnate me too. Because I won't have it." She flung her hair out of her face, and managed not to squawk at the crick in her neck. Her hair was way too short for flinging. "See you later."
He caught her arm. "Stay here tonight. Stay with me."
Don't succumb, Josie. She lifted her chin. "You don't own me."
"Never said I did."
She scowled. "You're so difficult to argue with."
"I'm not a big fan of arguments. I'd rather have a candid discussion and get resolution."
"Mr. Efficiency, huh?" She slung her purse over her shoulder. "What if there isn't an efficient resolution? What if it's a complicated mess where not everyone can have what they want? What do you do then?"
"I don't let that happen."
"What if you can't control it?" What exactly had been the appeal of a tough man who didn't kowtow to anyone? She was having a bit of difficulty recalling right at this moment.
"Not an option."
"Typical response." She could be like that. Falling in love with Evan. Not an option. Letting Buddy ruin her life. Not an option. Being pathetic and wimpy. Not an option. She was taking control, starting now.
Granted, she'd "taken control" more than a few times and never managed to keep it up, but she was doing it this time. "Don't wait up."
She managed not to look back once.
Was she a tough chick or what?
Chapter 25
Men.
She hated them all.
Well, just three of them really.
Tom.
Buddy.
Evan.
She flung her purse down on Evan's front step and sat down to wait for Monica. As if she'd wait inside, being forced to endure the spectacle of Evan prostituting himself for her brothers' favor.
Oh, sure. He hadn't invited them. That didn't matter. He loved them! More than her!
She kicked a pebble, which rolled only about six inches before stopping. Who was she trying to kid? Evan didn't love her, regardless of her family. He didn't love her, exactly what she'd said she wanted. So why wasn't she feel
ing so victorious right now?
"Josie?" Her mom opened the front door. "Mind if I join you?"
"Yes, I do." Not that she minded, actually. It was just a test to see if anyone in her life actually listened to her needs and wants.
Her mom sat down next to her on the step.
There we go. The answer was "no." "What's up, Mom?"
"Are you and Evan fighting over me?"
She glanced at her mom. "We aren't fighting."
"Don't be silly, darling. I could hear every word you two were saying."
"Because your ear was pressed up against the door?"
"Of course. You don't think I could have heard all the way over by the stove, do you?" Josie's mom put her arm around her shoulder. "You're feeling jealous of how Evan feels about our family, aren't you?"
"Well...it's more complicated than that." She sighed. Maybe it was time to tell her mom the truth. With nine kids and a thirty-nine-year marriage, her mom had to have some man advice that would be helpful, other than marry one and start having his kids. "Mom..."
"It's okay that he likes our family. It's good, in fact. You should be very pleased."
"I am. Or I would be if I was actually planning to marry him."
"Josie!" Her mom uttered a quick prayer, slapped her hand over Josie's mouth, and shook her head. "Never say that about the man you're going to marry. That's bad luck! Shame!"
"Mom!" Josie pulled her hand off. "I'm not going to..."
Her mom slapped her hand back over Josie's mouth. "Just because you don't have the same optimistic views of marriage that I do doesn't mean you need to dump your baggage on Evan. You've been given a second chance with a wonderful man and you better start deserving it."
One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. She was in control of herself now. "Mom, it's not about Evan. It's about Buddy."
"Oh, my dear, I never thought of that."
Finally! It was about time she got through to her mom. "See, Evan..."
"No need to say anymore." Her mom patted her hands. "You're afraid that it's too weird that you're going to marry the brother of the man who robbed you blind."
"Well, not exactly..."
"No worries, my dear. It's clear that Evan is a completely different man. Have no worries that he's a crook. He's a good man. Very different from his brother."
"That's not what I'm talking about..."
"And you don't have to worry about your kids inheriting Buddy's genes either. Evan will be the father, and everything will be all right." Her mom put her arm around Josie and hugged her. "Look at my sweet, baby girl, having such mature concerns. I knew you'd come around."
Argh! "Mom!" Josie pushed off her arm. "You aren't even listening to me!"
"Of course I am."
"Evan doesn't love me! He wants me to marry Buddy! And he likes my family better than me! The engagement rumor was an accident. Don't you understand? He doesn't want me!" She flung up her arms. "Do you hear me?"
"Yes, I do." Her mom's voice was quiet. "I'm sorry I didn't see what was going on. I should have."
"Well, finally."
Her mom patted the step beside her. "Come sit down, honey."
Josie flopped down next to her, exhausted. For the first time in her life, her mom actually listened to her? Maybe their relationship was finally moving to new levels.
"Josie, you can't be afraid."
"I'm not afraid. I'm angry. Annoyed. Do you realize that I actually started to let myself like him?"
"Of course you like him. You're going to marry him."
"What?"
Her mom smiled. "You're scared, honey. That's okay. You were burned by Tom and then Buddy. Of course you would be worried that you've made another mistake. That's why you're imagining all these terrible things. Open your mind. Evan loves you. He's going to be engaged to you, and he's going to marry you. He's not going to hand you over to Buddy or use you for your family. Stop letting your fears from your past overshadow the joy in your present."
Josie groaned and flopped back on the step, cracking her head against the cement. Ow.
Good. She deserved it. Maybe if she gave herself a concussion it would knock some sense into her.
"Would you like me to go talk to Evan? I'll let him know you're scared." Her mom leaned forward. "Even the best men aren't always quite as tuned into their woman as they should be. That's where I can help. Provide some coaching."
Josie covered her face with her arms. "Fine. Go talk to Evan. Help him be more sensitive to my needs. That would be great."
"Okay, sweetie. I'll take care of it." Obviously, the sarcasm was lost on her mom. "Are you going somewhere?"
"I have a hot date."
"Josie! Bite your tongue! Infidelity is a serious matter. You, of anyone, should know how destructive it is."
"Mom! I'm going with Monica."
"Still. You shouldn't joke about that. Maybe you're the one who needs some coaching about how to be in a successful relationship." Her mom gave her a warning smack on the shoulder. "Shape up, Josie. You've been given a second chance and you'd better not mess it up. By the time a third chance comes around, you'll be too old. You'll have to adopt!"
"Mom! I'm twenty-seven!"
"And don't you forget it!" Her mom stood up. "I'm going inside to talk to Evan. And you and I will do lunch this week so I can chat with you. A good wife means you must treat your man well. I think you need a little coaching on that."
"Fine. Lunch. I can't wait." Exactly what she needed. A lecture on how to be a sweet little housewife for Evan. Yippee do da.
Then headlights flashed, and a horn gave a quick toot. Saved! Josie hopped to her feet. "Okay, Monica's here. I'm sure I'll be back after you guys are gone. Have a great night."
She nearly dove into the front seat of Monica's car, ordering her friend to hit the gas before her mom came after them.
And Evan wanted a family. Was he insane, or what?
Evan didn't move from the dinner table, didn't stop Josie's mom from going out after her. What was up with Josie?
All this family talk. What had he done? What was wrong with being friends with her family? And why wasn't she happy with him? He'd made her breakfast. He'd made her dinner. He'd welcomed her family. What more could a woman want?
Love.
Shut up. He wasn't listening to that annoying voice in the back of his mind.
She loves you.
SHUT UP!
You're breaking her heart.
He cursed and jumped to his feet. This was all he needed, to feel guilty about her and Buddy.
She said she wanted sex only. No relationships. And he'd gone even further than that, at least today. So why was she mad? What was he doing wrong?
A shout from the family caught his attention, something about a dog…Crap! Max!
The dog had been snoozing in there during dinner, courtesy of a two-hour run after work. Guess he was awake now, and causing trouble.
This was good.
Evan needed the distraction of Max. So what if the pooch liked to destroy the house? At least he was easy to understand. Run him, he'd sleep. Play with him, he'd leave the furniture alone. Feed him, he'd eat. None of this other stuff that he couldn't figure out. "Coming!"
Dogs. Brothers. Red Sox.
Three things he hadn't had in years. It was about time they were in his life again. Thanks to Josie. She'd brought them all back. Changed his life. Taught him to be himself with Dr. Black. It was all thanks to Josie. Which meant he'd have to figure out what was bugging her and fix it. He owed her.
A loud crash sounded from the living room, then the scramble of toenails, then Max bolted around the corner and crashed into Evan's legs, nearly taking him down. "Hey, Max."
Evan scratched the dog's mangy ears, and grinned when the dog groaned and leaned against him. "Maybe I'll give you a bath tonight. What do you think of that?"
Max just sighed and pressed his head against Evan's hand.
So, maybe there was a
little bit of room in his life for chaos.
"Let's go watch the game, shall we?" He'd go hang with Josie's brothers, trying to keep Max from destroying anything, and maybe see if her brothers had any ideas about Josie.
He'd just started to walk toward the living room when the front door slammed, and Josie's mom came marching down the hall. "Evan! Evan! Where are you?"
"Here." He stopped. "What can I do for you?"
"We need to talk, young man. Into the kitchen. We can talk while you help me bake a cake."
Or maybe he'd get info on Josie from her mom. He grinned as he followed her into the kitchen. As if he had a choice.
Chapter 26
There was Buddy. Sitting at the table by the free-refill soda dispenser, hunched over his plate of French fries and triple cheeseburger, with a jumbo size soda.
If she ate like that, she'd be the size of Evan's house.
She coughed, trying to get air into her tight lungs. Wiped her sweaty hands on her shorts. Why hadn't she brought Zeus with her to attack him? Or at the very least, brought Monica inside instead of leaving her in the car? Or better yet, sent Evan to deal with him instead?
Why was she here? Hoping she could broker some resolution that would get her money and waffle iron back and still leave her free to fall in love with Evan? Well, she was perfectly free to fall in love with him anyway, as long as she didn't mind having her scarred and battered heart treated like roadkill.
Well, she did mind.
No vultures would be picking on the remains of her heart today.
Nope.
She'd march over there, get her money back, go back to Evan's house, pack her things, and move on with her life.
Because she was an Amazon.
Dammit. She really needed to sign up for those sword-fighting lessons.
Concentrate, Josie. You're here to deal with Buddy.
Buddy.
His hair was clean, trimmed actually. He was wearing jeans and a pair of hiking books, with a faded denim button-down shirt. Clean-shaven and alert, he actually looked relatively attractive and together. No one would ever guess what a loser he was. No doubt, he'd put on his best side for wooing.
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